Li Zhongqian had his chief steward store away his golden hammers, along with the books personally selected by his maternal uncle and filled with annotations.
His uncle had admonished him: "Erlang, do not regard the Grand General as your father. See him as a sovereign who might sacrifice you and your mother at any moment."
Since ancient times, sovereigns have often been fickle-hearted; none are more heartless than those of imperial houses.
A sovereign may betray his subjects, but subjects must never betray their sovereign.
He observed mourning for the Xie family, remaining secluded at home where he taught Yaoying to read and write, and summoned renowned physicians to treat her illness.
Every morning, he would carry her to the veranda, letting her practice walking along the corridor spread with bamboo mats and woolen rugs.
Though frail, she was full of energy, crawling all over the floor. When she saw him lost in thought over his books, she would crawl over to pester him, demanding to be carried to see the blooming apricot blossoms beyond the corridor.
The flowering trees flourished luxuriantly, veiled in mist and rosy clouds, with fallen red petals carpeting the steps.
Her hair styled in twin buns, she leaned against the railing, stretching out her chubby hands to catch drifting petals, chattering to her maids: "Apricot blossom cakes, apricot blossom rice, cold tossed apricot blossoms, apricot blossom congee..."
The maids and wet nurses burst into giggles.
She turned to look at Li Zhongqian, her dark eyes sparkling.
Li Zhongqian patted her head and instructed the servants: "Prepare everything the young mistress mentioned."
The physician had said that in the beginning, every step Yaoying took would feel like needles piercing her legs.
She was remarkably sensible, persisting in her practice without complaining of fatigue even when drenched in sweat from the pain.
"When I recover, Elder Brother won't have to carry me every day."
After countless bowls of bitter medicinal brews, she finally showed improvement. Once she could take a few steps leaning on an armrest, she immediately made a request: "Elder Brother, I want to ride a horse!"
Li Zhongqian agreed, carrying her to the stables to let her pick the prettiest foal herself.
When she recovered, he would take her galloping through the western hills outside the city, gathering lotus at Yunmeng Lake, watching waves crash against the jetty. They would depend on each other for survival, completely detached from the turmoil of the outside world.
His ambitions to stabilize the nation and quell chaos had long since faded.
He took Yaoying to seek medical treatment across various regions, visiting over a dozen prefectures in two years.
When she was eleven, Li De successfully captured Heyang, and the Wei army gradually advanced toward Guanzhong.
While Li Zhongqian was caring for Yaoying at home, several prominent families rising from Wei Commandery suddenly sent their legitimate sons to visit him, bringing gifts specifically for Yaoying.
He paid them little mind. Li Xuanzhen was already gaining prominence, and Li De would soon unify the Central Plains. He and Yaoying had no one to rely on and weren't foolish enough to invite humiliation by contending with Li Xuanzhen. Whether these aristocratic families came to flatter and instigate or to mock and humiliate, he didn't care.
The chief steward frowned anxiously, "Young Master... they're here to evaluate Seventh Lady as a potential bride!"
Realization dawned on Li Zhongqian. He pursued them to the ferry, ordered their boats scuttled, and demanded: "Who sent you?!"
The terrified scions explained their purpose: they had indeed come to consider Seventh Lady as a marriage prospect.
Li De had already arranged marriages for several of Seventh Lady's elder sisters. Their fathers and uncles enjoyed Li De's high regard, and it was certain their family's sons would eventually marry Li daughters. Though Seventh Lady was sickly, marital alliances served to consolidate relationships. These families, being of humble origins, sought to marry a daughter from an eminent family to glorify their lineage, unconcerned about whether Seventh Lady could be cured.Li Zhongqian flew into a rage. Even if Seventh Sister could never walk again in her life, he would take good care of her—it wasn’t these people’s place to pick and choose for her!
The Chief Steward sighed. “Young Master, the Grand General is your father, the leader of the Wei army, and may one day ascend to the highest position. Both your marriage and Seventh Sister’s must be decided by the Grand General. To win over supporters, the Grand General has already arranged several marriages—Fifth Sister was betrothed while still in swaddling clothes. Young Master, our only option now is to carefully consider these families and choose one with upright morals for Seventh Sister…”
They had no other choice.
Li Zhongqian’s face turned ashen. He instructed the Chief Steward to take good care of Xie Manyuan and Yaoying, then returned to their ancestral home to sweep his uncle’s grave, hoping to enlist the help of the clan elders.
He wanted to secure Yaoying’s marriage first, having the suitor formally request her hand from Li De.
But the meeting ended in discord.
The candidates they selected were either from impoverished branch families, clearly coveting the Xie family’s wealth, or they trembled at the mere mention of Li Xuanzhen’s name—such men could never protect Yaoying. Worse still, some were even born with intellectual disabilities.
One matriarch whispered to her servants, “My eldest may be a bit slow, but he’s whole and healthy. Seventh Sister is a cripple who can’t walk, can’t bear children, and can’t manage a household…”
Li Zhongqian was seething with fury. He left the next day. The moment he arrived home, the Chief Steward knelt before him in panic.
Seventh Sister was gone.
Xie Manyuan had fallen ill, and Yaoying was sent to Xiangzhou. In his haste, Li De had abandoned her and the Xie family guards. The news had just arrived.
His little Seventh Sister—left alone on the battlefield.
The day before he left, he had taught her an apricot blossom poem and promised to take her horseback riding someday. She had held his fingers, counting the whorls on his hand, giggling as she tried to cheer him up.
Li Zhongqian stood before the long corridor, staggered a few steps, then rushed into the storeroom and retrieved the pair of golden hammers he had locked away.
The Chief Steward and servants clung to his legs, begging him not to go.
“Young Master, please restrain your grief!”
The Chief Steward wept. “Young Master, before he passed, your father was most worried about you. He said you must never practice martial arts again!”
“Seventh Sister is already gone… She was only five, could barely walk a few steps. Trapped among the chaotic soldiers, she couldn’t have survived… Young Master, you are Madam’s only remaining child. You cannot come to harm!”
“Seventh Sister was sensible and kind, always thoughtful of others. If she saw you like this, how could she rest in peace?”
Li Zhongqian gripped the golden hammers tightly, shoved the servants aside, his eyes bloodshot.
If he didn’t go, what would become of little Seventh Sister?
“Little Seventh will be scared. I must go to her.”
He was her elder brother.
If she was alive, he would find her and never let her live in fear again.
If she was dead, he would bring her home—he wouldn’t let her become a wandering ghost.
As for his own life… Li Zhongqian smiled bitterly. He had long stopped caring about living or dying.
He rode straight to Xiangzhou. The Chief Steward sent men after him, hoping to knock him out and bring him back. But Li Zhongqian shook them off, strapped the golden hammers to his back, and galloped a thousand li to the place where she had been abandoned. He searched battlefield after battlefield.
Finally, he dug her out from a mountain of corpses and a sea of blood.
Little Seventh Sister was still alive.
He knelt before the pile of bodies, clutching her blood-soaked form tightly. Where she couldn’t see, his tears fell one by one into the bloodied ground.
He carried his sister home.
With no horse, he walked. With no food, he stole or scavenged.He truly understood what it meant to live in a chaotic era of displacement. He watched living people die under chaotic blades, their brains, intestines, and blood pooling on the ground—no different from slaughtering pigs and cattle.
When chaotic soldiers passed through, massacring civilians, he carried her on his back and fled.
Her illness grew increasingly severe until she could no longer eat anything. He called her name, but she lay there motionless, without a trace of breath.
Others fleeing with them said she was dead and urged him to abandon her.
But Li Zhongqian stayed by Yaoying’s side, pried open her mouth, tore pieces of flatbread, and stuffed them inside. Gritting his teeth, he said, "Little Seven, hold on. Your brother will take you home... You are not allowed to leave me. Even if you die, I will carry your bones back."
Others thought he had gone mad.
He wasn’t mad. He knew she was doing it on purpose—she didn’t want to burden him any longer.
Frightened by his determination, she forced herself to eat and never again suggested that he abandon her.
Li Zhongqian had no desire to return to Wei Commandery. He had grown up and could take care of his sister. If they simply vanished from the world, would Li De and Li Xuanzhen finally leave them alone?
He was too naive.
Surviving in such turbulent times was exceedingly difficult. He had to fetch medicine and find physicians for Yaoying. Though she suffered daily, she pretended to be better to spare him worry. They were captured multiple times. In those years of relentless warfare, famine claimed countless lives, and women and children were treated as the most desirable "two-legged lambs."
Stumbling through hardships, they finally found a place to live under assumed names. Not long after, a band of marauding soldiers plundered the village. General Qin, one of Li De’s subordinates, suddenly arrived and rescued them.
Li Zhongqian laughed mockingly at himself.
Li De had been having them followed all along. No matter how far they fled, they could never escape Li De’s grasp.
Li Zhongqian looked down at his own hands.
Li De was too powerful—a master of martial arts, always guarded by close attendants, and wary of him. An assassination attempt would be futile.
Resistance was useless.
Contending for the succession with Li Xuanzhen? That would only lead to a quicker death.
If they retreated to Jingnan to bide their time, Yaoying would be married off arbitrarily by Li De for political gain.
If they tried to live anonymously elsewhere, they would face constant peril—likely to be killed by Li Xuanzhen or captured by enemies of the Xie or Li families as hostages.
They could neither advance nor retreat.
Li Zhongqian asked General Qin, "If I were to take my own life now, would they spare my mother and my sister?"
The pretext was readily available—his death in the chaos would spare Li De from facing the Xie family’s accusations and Li Xuanzhen from bearing the stigma of fratricide.
General Qin was taken aback for a moment. "Second Young Master, you are overthinking."
Li Zhongqian tightened his grip on his golden hammer. He was not overthinking.
Upon returning to Wei Commandery, he went directly to see Li De.
"Great General, I come before you as your subordinate," he said, kneeling at Li De’s feet. "I will lead troops in your campaigns, remain loyal to the Wei army, and harbor no disloyal intentions."
Li De studied him for a long moment. "And your demand?"
"Seventh Sister’s marriage will be decided by me. You cannot marry her off arbitrarily to win over your subordinates."
Li De remained silent.
Li Zhongqian lifted his head. "In warfare and the struggle for supremacy, one cannot afford the compassion of a woman. Benevolence alone cannot intimidate others. Eldest Brother is the heir and must protect his reputation. I am different—I care not for reputation. Whatever tasks Eldest Brother cannot openly undertake, I will handle in his stead."
Li Zhongqian’s expression was utterly composed.The Chief Administrator once told him that in a previous dynasty, there was an emperor who, in his youth, had been bullied and tormented by his brothers. During the fierce struggle for the throne among the princes, flesh and blood turned against each other. Later, when he became the supreme ruler, he killed the brothers who threatened his throne but spared one elder brother—the very one who had nearly caused his death back then.
He asked the Chief Administrator: Why did the emperor spare this elder brother? Was it because the emperor was magnanimous?
The Chief Administrator shook his head: No, it was because the emperor’s elder brother was too foolish.
Li Zhongqian decided to become a fool—simple-minded, short-tempered, and easily provoked.
Just like the emperor’s elder brother, he would be so foolish that everyone would see him as a joke. That way, his sister would be safe.
He picked up his long-neglected martial skills, gathered his troops, and followed Li De into battle.
Whoever Li De ordered him to attack, he attacked. When Li De commanded him to slaughter a city, he slaughtered it.
Yaoying advised him: "Elder brother, we should find a way to leave."
Though young and seemingly carefree, she remembered everything in her heart. She understood their predicament and had repeatedly analyzed the pros and cons for him, offering ideas and urging him to find a way to escape. Li De and Li Xuanzhen would not let him go.
Li Zhongqian smiled bitterly. Li De would never allow them to leave, and neither would Li Xuanzhen.
He was already trapped in the mire with no way out, hoping only to find her a safe home as soon as possible. Surely, Li Xuanzhen would not harm a married woman.
Back then, Li Zhongqian never imagined that Li De would break his promise again. Knowing full well that the substitution in marriage was Wei Ming’s scheme, Li De still went along with it and sent Yaoying away for a political marriage.
He wanted to tear Li De into a thousand pieces.
No matter what great achievements Li De had accomplished, no matter how many suffering people he had saved, and regardless of the consequences of killing Li De—Li De had broken his promise, and he would kill him.
The joys and sorrows of the world had nothing to do with him.
…
But when the day finally came when he could kill Li De, Li Zhongqian did not do it.
Countless nights, he told himself over and over that he would perish together with Li De.
Later, he could not bear to die.
He and Yaoying were no longer completely at others’ mercy. They had troops and allies and could live well. There were many ways to kill Li De, such as letting Li Xuanzhen and Li De—father and son—turn on each other.
Why should he sacrifice his life for Li De? Yaoying would be heartbroken and grieved.
Letting Li De die at the hands of his beloved son Li Xuanzhen brought him more satisfaction than killing Li De himself.
On the day Li De died, Li Zhongqian was leading his servants in packing their belongings.
When the news arrived, he glanced at it indifferently, feeling nothing inside.
He had led the Western Army in charging into battle, escorted displaced refugees back to their homeland, directed soldiers in digging canals, helped common people reclaim farmland, and even gone into the valleys to help that tribe—the one stubbornly insisting he be their leader—find hundreds of scattered, foolish sheep.
Snow-capped peaks stretching across the horizon, boundless grasslands, vast deserts where no grass grew, the immense Gobi, and deep canyons.
…
Once, they rescued a besieged tribe in a mottled ancient city.
To his surprise, he discovered that the people of the tribe spoke fluent, authentic Central Plains Mandarin.
They were descendants of the local garrison troops. The emperor they spoke of bore the surname Zhu.
The garrison had been ordered to guard the fortress, isolated beyond the borders, cut off from the Central Plains. They held on desperately for decades, unaware that the Central Plains had undergone repeated turmoil and dynastic changes.
The once-youthful and vigorous cavalry had grown old and frail, yet they still guarded their banners, striving to break through the blockade and reestablish contact with the Central Plains.They often gazed eastward, awaiting rescue from the royal forces.
One generation passed, and the next inherited their will, continuing to hold fast.
When the city lord saw the Chinese characters on the Western Army’s banners, he wept bitterly and led them to meet the surviving defenders.
Many years ago, the old man had been the youngest scout among the garrison. As his comrades fell one by one, he buried them and carried on their hope of returning east. He waited from youth to middle age, then to old age, until his teeth fell out and his hair turned white—still waiting.
When Yaoying and Li Zhongqian entered the earthen fortress, the soldier lying in the haystack, his clouded eyes suddenly blazing with light, asked, “Has the relief army arrived?”
Yang Qian wanted to explain that they were not the Zhu family’s troops, but Yaoying shook her head at him. She walked over, took the old man’s hand, and said, “We’ve come too late.”
Struggling to rise, the old man leaned on his grandson and stepped out of the fortress. Seeing the fluttering banners and the disciplined ranks of the Western Army, his hunched back slowly straightened. Pushing his grandson aside, he walked step by step to the high platform.
“Brothers, the relief army has arrived!”
Charge with me!
Under the blood-red sunset, the old man’s pale hair seemed tinged with crimson, as if he were once again the handsome young man who had fought side by side with his comrades, vowing never to surrender.
Li Zhongqian, clad in bloodstained battle robes, sat slanting on the fortress wall, watching the old man facing east. He uncorked his wineskin and rinsed the thick blood from his sword.
The strong liquor washed away the bloodshed.
And little by little, it washed away the gloom that had weighed on his heart for years.
He recalled his younger self, full of fervor, aspiring to be a heroic figure like his father and uncle.
Gradually, he became part of it all.
He found kindred spirits in Yang Qian and the others, and through clashes and camaraderie with the tribal Hu people, his past in the Central Plains grew increasingly distant. At times, his memories grew so faint he could scarcely recall Li De’s face.
Yaoying had always worried he would recklessly seek vengeance against Li De—she deliberately kept him occupied with Western Army affairs to distract him.
She succeeded.
Having witnessed so much joy and sorrow in this turbulent world, he was no longer the Li Zhongqian of the past.
The earthen fortress in the desert stood in ruins, the howling wind roaring like a wild beast.
Li Zhongqian sheathed his sword and stood up, scanning the civilians gathering from every corner of the fortress. Silently, he noted that beyond the fortress lay a lush river valley where they could be taught to cultivate mulberry, hemp, and grain.
…
After Li De’s death, Li Xuanzhen wrote an edict and handed it to Li Zhongqian.
He promised not to harm him or Yaoying.
Li Zhongqian scoffed and tossed the edict into a corner.
The Chief Secretary, wiping away tears, helped with the packing. “My lord, are we truly leaving?”
Without hesitation, Li Zhongqian nodded: Yes, we are.
North through Yanmen Pass, west across the Lin Tao River. Where are you bound, my friend? To water your steed by the Great Wall’s moat.
His life still held broader horizons.
Before leaving Chang’an, Tanmoroqie came to him with a request.
“What do you need lotus seeds for?”
“To plant in the palace grounds, where Bright Moon Slave lives. If they grow and bloom, she can gaze at the lotus leaves and flowers outside her window when she feels homesick, to ease her melancholy.”
Li Zhongqian’s lips twitched. The monk was indeed thoughtful, to have considered such a detail.
He handed over the lotus seeds he had brought from Jingnan to Chang’an years ago.
Who knew if they would sprout leaves and bloom as hoped?Several months passed in the blink of an eye. In her letter home, she told him that the lotus seeds planted by Tanmoroqie himself had sprouted, growing emerald green leaves, though no buds had appeared yet.
Li Zhongqian set down the letter and snorted lightly. That monk certainly had skills—even knew how to cultivate lotuses.
He ordered his guards to clean the residence. Yaoying would return to stay for a month in winter. Since Xizhou was too cold, repairs needed to be completed before the cold set in.
The steward peeked in from the doorway: "Sir... news from the lady. Princess Banar has moved into the Buddhist temple."
The steward continued, "Princess Banar visits the temple every day to chat with the lady and keep her company. The lady likes her very much. Last night, when it grew late, Princess Banar stayed over. This morning, the lady said she wanted Princess Banar to move in and live with her..."
Li Zhongqian frowned, waved his hand, and said nothing.
He went to the training ground to inspect the troops, busy until afternoon. Returning home drenched in sweat, he removed his armor, his collar open to reveal his sturdy chest. Glancing at the corner, he said calmly, "Come out."
There was a rustling sound. A woman wearing coral beads and a gauze dress emerged from behind the screen. With delicate eyebrows and striking eyes, her jet-black hair framed a gaze that lingered on his sweaty chest for a moment before she said, "I've asked around. You never married or were betrothed in the Central Plains, and your former concubines didn't follow you here... Since you're not married, why can't you marry me?"
Li Zhongqian poured himself a bowl of wine and took a sip. "Whether I marry or not has nothing to do with you."
Banar straightened her posture. "I like you. I want to marry you and have children with you. Of course, whether you marry or not has everything to do with me!"
"What kind of woman do you like? I can learn."
Li Zhongqian finished the bowl of wine and set it down.
Hearing the commotion, the guards entered and, after much persuasion, dragged Banar out.
"Li Zhongqian, I'll be back tomorrow!"
The guards stationed outside couldn't help but chuckle.
Li Zhongqian's brow furrowed.
What a nuisance.
Saving her back then was merely a trivial act—he never expected it would lead to so much trouble.
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