The moon was obscured by dark clouds, a chill spread through the air, and it felt as if the cold had pierced through the skin. Miao Danyi couldn't help but shiver. Hugging her arms, she coughed once and walked around Sun Dawei, heading into the distance.
Sun Dawei stopped her. An extremely bold conjecture had sprung into his mind. He didn't want that conjecture to be true.
Dense tree shadows fell over Sun Dawei's head, and the surrounding light grew increasingly dim.
Sun Dawei lifted his face to scrutinize Wen Qi, thinking to himself: Damn, this guy is way too handsome.
Suddenly, Sun Dawei wished he could step into Jiang Yubai's shoes. If he were Jiang Yubai, his looks and height would surpass this handsome stranger before him. Unfortunately, he was Sun Dawei. Though wealthy and well-educated, he was suddenly overwhelmed by a sense of loss. Uneasily, he spoke up: "My name is Sun Dawei. I've lived with Miaomiao for a year. I'm her boyfriend. Who are you?"
As soon as he said this, Lin Zhixia tightened her grip on Jiang Yubai's sleeve.
She had never witnessed such a scene before.
Years ago, during middle school, as class monitor, Lin Zhixia had successfully mediated some disputes among her classmates—successful because her classmates were willing to give her face and let her play the role of "peacemaker."
But this scene before her was no trivial quarrel among classmates.
Lin Zhixia stole a glance at Wen Qi and saw his face was as pale as paper. She asked him softly, "Are you okay?"
Wen Qi shook his head. He approached Sun Dawei and, cutting straight to the point, forced out a sentence: "Sorry, I didn't know."
Sun Dawei's eyes reddened: "What did you two do?"
But Wen Qi replied, "Nothing. I'm going home. Don't follow me. I need to be alone."
Sun Dawei was baffled: "Huh?"
Wen Qi walked away with a straight back, his posture rigid. In contrast, Miao Danyi became forthright: "I just kissed him and told him I like him."
Miao Danyi suspected that if she didn't tell the truth, Jiang Yubai would alert Sun Dawei.
One day last year, Miao Danyi had gone to Wen Qi's dorm and happened to run into Jiang Yubai. She had thought that if Jiang Yubai dared to gossip about her in front of Sun Dawei, she would throw a fit, cry, and prove her innocence to Sun Dawei, ruining his friendship with Jiang Yubai. Compared to Jiang Yubai, Sun Dawei clearly trusted her more. But she hadn't expected Jiang Yubai to say nothing—his social skills were more refined than she had imagined.
This time, Miao Danyi couldn't avoid it. By confessing herself, she could at least appear open and honest.
At this point, Miao Danyi had no way out. Her long-suppressed emotions erupted instantly: "Let's stop seeing each other. Let's break up. Pretending every day is exhausting. Wherever you go, you drag me along. Even for a half-hour group discussion with your classmates, you have to parade me around like an exhibit, always acting frivolous and unserious..."
Lin Zhixia whispered to Jiang Yubai, "What does 'frivolous and unserious' mean?"
Jiang Yubai explained to her, "Not focusing on serious matters."
Lin Zhixia nodded, "I understand."
Miao Danyi continued speaking: "I'll pay back the money I owe you later. Let's make a clean break."
After uttering these final words, it was as if she had exhausted all her strength.During her freshman year of college, her father's company went bankrupt. With her younger siblings still in school, her father insisted she work part-time to pay her tuition. It was at this juncture that she met Sun Dawei. Yet, there was a barrier in her heart she couldn't overcome—she always felt this stable, comfortable life didn't belong to her, like a clown wearing a diamond crown, both extravagant and ridiculous.
She took off the diamond bracelet and stuffed it into Sun Dawei's pocket.
She ran off into the night.
Sun Dawei shouted her full name: "Miao Danyi!"
Miao Danyi yelled back, "Miao Danyi is the name you gave me! That's not how my parents pronounced it!"
Sun Dawei slumped to the ground.
It had rained the night before, leaving the soil damp with lingering moisture. The mist soaked his pants as he clutched the diamond bracelet, his mind emptied of all tangled thoughts as if someone had siphoned them away. Temporarily robbed of his ability to think, he didn't even know where he was.
After a while, his eyes grew moist.
Tears streamed down like a river, pouring from the corners of his eyes in torrents.
So the internet slang "wide noodle tears" was real—Sun Dawei was now crying with a face full of them. Because his good friend Jiang Yubai was still there, he held back, refusing to make a single sound, until Jiang Yubai crouched in front of him and handed him a tissue.
He burst into sobs: "Xiao Jiang, my heart is so bitter, so bitter! Wuwuwu..."
Jiang Yubai comforted him, "It's okay, calm down first, stop crying."
Sun Dawei wept uncontrollably, his voice breaking: "How could she do this to me? I gave her my all..."
Sun Dawei's sorrow came from the depths of his heart. Only then did he realize that "grief" was physically exhausting. His back couldn't stay upright anymore, and he leaned backward. Resting against the rough, sturdy trunk of a tree, the dense leaves above wove a protective canopy, shielding him from the vast, dark night sky.
He sat under the tree, dazed.
As if having seen through the vanity of life, he recited a passage from the Diamond Sutra: "All conditioned phenomena are like dreams, illusions, bubbles, shadows; like dew and like lightning. Thus should they be contemplated."
Then, he shared a life insight: "Love has wounded me too deeply."
Jiang Yubai advised, "It's fine not to be in a relationship. Family, studies, and career are more important."
Following Jiang Yubai's line of thought, Sun Dawei recalled the Sun family's French vineyard, the fishing grounds in the South China Sea, the horse ranch in the northwest, and the pharmaceutical factory in the northeast. A sense of calm washed over him. He wiped his runny nose and asked, "If Lin Zhixia dumped you and didn't care about you at all, what would you do?"
Before he finished speaking, Lin Zhixia crouched beside Jiang Yubai.
Lin Zhixia stared intently at Sun Dawei. She asked, "Don't be sad, don't cry. Do you like reading Buddhist scriptures?"
Sun Dawei muttered to himself, "Ah, my grandparents always donate to temples every year, and monks often visit our home."
Lin Zhixia discussed the Avatamsaka Sutra with him: "To truly understand that all conditioned phenomena are deceptive, illusory, transient, and delude ordinary people." Pausing, she added, "My understanding is superficial... but I think it's better for you to see through the illusion now than to realize it later."For Sun Dawei, this matter was extremely complicated, not as easy to figure out as Lin Zhixia made it seem. He couldn't possibly explain the whole story to his friends and family—it was too embarrassing to bring up. Therefore, in this world, only Jiang Yubai and Lin Zhixia were most likely to understand him.
He remained silent for a moment before asking Lin Zhixia, "What would you do if Xiao Jiang changed his heart?"
Lin Zhixia thought seriously for a long while before saying, "All relationships have their expiration date, whether it's friendship or love. The environment changes a person. Sometimes you miss someone, but what you're missing isn't necessarily that person themselves, but certain experiences related to them in a specific context."
Sun Dawei took a deep breath.
Lin Zhixia continued elaborating: "If Xiao Jiang changed his heart..."
Jiang Yubai grasped her wrist.
Even if it was to comfort Sun Dawei, Jiang Yubai strongly disliked this kind of hypothetical scenario.
But Lin Zhixia said, "I'd probably be very sad, cry my heart out, and couldn't sleep at night. But given some time, I'd be able to adjust. The past and present are fixed facts, but the future can be changed. You need to pull yourself together and look forward... You can maintain your current state, or decide the probability distribution of your next state. This, is the Markov chain..."
Sun Dawei remained silent.
Lin Zhixia reached into Jiang Yubai's jacket pocket and indeed found a pack of tissues. She left the tissues for Sun Dawei before swaying unsteadily as she walked away. Only then did Jiang Yubai remember that Lin Zhixia had drunk too much tonight—she was still in a semi-drunk state. Though her words were clear and her expression calm, she wasn't actually sober.
Jiang Yubai said to Sun Dawei, "Take care."
Sun Dawei added, "Miaomi only liked me for my money..."
Jiang Yubai didn't respond further.
Jiang Yubai called Sun Dawei's good friend and asked him to take Sun Dawei home tonight. When the friend heard Sun Dawei wasn't doing well, he rushed over urgently. Sun Dawei grabbed his friend, saying only that something had happened at home and he was feeling terrible. The two of them went to a nearby bar together and drank to their hearts' content.
Jiang Yubai's birthday party had also ended.
The guests gradually dispersed, and Jiang Yubai received various gifts—none of which were from Lin Zhixia.
Lin Zhixia tugged at Jiang Yubai's sleeve, planning in detail: "I left your birthday gift at home. I want to show it to you tonight... under the covers."
Under the covers?
These four words sparked numerous associations in Jiang Yubai's mind.
He also recalled what Lin Zhixia had said to Sun Dawei earlier tonight.
To some extent, Lin Zhixia was quite rational—give her a hypothetical condition, and she could deduce the corresponding outcome. Jiang Yubai compared this to himself—he actually couldn't do the same, couldn't bring himself to hypothesize about Lin Zhixia losing interest in him. Throughout his life journey, most of his profound memories were connected to Lin Zhixia—she was in his dreams and in his waking thoughts.
Around ten o'clock at night, Jiang Yubai brought Lin Zhixia home.
A light drizzle began falling from the sky, and cold wind made the curtains flutter incessantly. Jiang Yubai walked back to his bedroom, took a shower, and changed into his pajamas. He buttoned his pajamas up tightly, his collarbones hidden beneath the collar. He appeared more abstinent and chaste than ever before, firmly guarding his purity.Then, as he passed by Lin Zhixia's room, she indeed called out to him: "Jiang Jiang Jiang Jiang Yubai!"
Lin Zhixia ran out barefoot: "I have a gift for you."
Jiang Yubai asked her: "What gift?"
Lin Zhixia said: "You'll know as soon as you see it."
She extended a hand toward Jiang Yubai.
Jiang Yubai held her wrist. Her wrist bones were slender, her skin smooth and delicate—he didn't even dare to use much strength. He always felt that if he squeezed her even slightly, he might hurt her and leave red marks.
Yet Lin Zhixia used considerable force to pull him. She dragged Jiang Yubai onto the bed.
Lin Zhixia's nightgown flipped up at the corner, revealing her long, snow-white legs, like works of art carved from fine jade. Jiang Yubai covered her with the blanket, tucking her in tightly, and asked in a low voice: "Have you sobered up? Is your head still spinning?"
Lin Zhixia declared: "I'm not drunk at all, I'm not dizzy."
Jiang Yubai casually turned off the bedroom light: "It's eleven o'clock, go to sleep early."
Lin Zhixia frowned slightly. Then, she lifted the entire blanket and covered Jiang Yubai with it. The fluffy blanket formed a dim, stuffy world. Lin Zhixia leaned close to Jiang Yubai's face and asked: "You seem to have something on your mind?"
But Jiang Yubai said: "No."
Lin Zhixia guessed: "Is it that matter with Sun Dawei, Miao Danyi, and Wen Qi that's giving you complicated feelings? Don't worry, I just sent Wen Qi a WeChat message. He said he's fine and can still go to the Laboratory as usual tomorrow... He's grown, he's figured things out, and he can face the storms of life."
"Good, they're all adults, they can take care of themselves," Jiang Yubai commented briefly.
Lin Zhixia leaned against his shoulder, and he suddenly said: "I could never change my heart."
"Hmm?" Lin Zhixia's tone rose at the end.
Actually, Lin Zhixia was very sleepy. The alcohol had seeped into her thoughts, leaving her muddled and confused, as if lost in a fog. But she still had a birthday gift she hadn't given yet. So, she forced herself to sit up straight and said seriously: "Okay, I know."
Jiang Yubai suspected she hadn't clearly heard what he just said. So he repeated it. Lin Zhixia's eyes lit up, and she hugged his neck, kissing him again and again. She opened the bedside table, took out a flashlight and a thick sketchbook.
She pressed the flashlight's switch and flipped through the pages of the sketchbook.
Jiang Yubai saw the legendary "flipbook animation." There were only two characters in the animation—clearly Jiang Yubai and Lin Zhixia.
Lin Zhixia had drawn from the year they met. The two little figures gradually grew up, and the distance between them grew closer and closer. In the end, they successfully held hands, and the background changed from the campus to a bedroom.
"For you," Lin Zhixia solemnly handed over the sketchbook, "Happy nineteenth birthday."
Jiang Yubai accepted this precious gift. His fingers rested on the cover, and he asked again: "How long did you spend drawing this?"
Lin Zhixia said honestly: "Over two years. I was too busy, so I drew very slowly." She yawned and patted the pillow with both hands: "Tonight, you sleep with me."
Jiang Yubai didn't respond.
Lin Zhixia clung to him and said: "Sleep with me, please."
Jiang Yubai silently lay down on her bed. He reached out and held her. She wriggled around in his arms, finding the most comfortable position. Pushing her luck, she said: "From today on, you have to sleep with me every night."Jiang Yubai knew she was talking drunken nonsense, yet her voice sounded utterly sincere. Half reluctantly, he yielded to her: "It's not entirely impossible."
"Possible or not?" Lin Zhixia pressed aggressively.
"Possible," Jiang Yubai replied succinctly.
Lin Zhixia finally seemed satisfied.
She turned over, her back facing him. She grabbed one of his hands and placed it on her waist. The wind and rain outside stretched endlessly, and Jiang Yubai's voice drifted into her ears: "Will you still remember what you said tomorrow morning?"
"Of course," Lin Zhixia vowed confidently, "I remember every word I've said clearly."
Jiang Yubai's tone lowered further: "Good."
Lin Zhixia's back pressed tightly against Jiang Yubai's chest. Too drowsy to keep her eyes open, she murmured before falling asleep: "You're so warm, like a furnace..." In her half-awake state, she heard Jiang Yubai's response. She thought to herself that she would dream of him again tonight.
The next morning, Lin Zhixia woke up and felt dazed for a moment.
Jiang Yubai lay beside her, seemingly still asleep. His face remained as handsome as ever, with some suspicious red marks on his neck that appeared to have been left by Lin Zhixia's kisses.
Lin Zhixia nervously retraced her memories.
She replayed the previous night's events exactly as they happened. Fortunately, nothing major had occurred between her and Jiang Yubai. However, Jiang Yubai had already agreed to sleep with her every night.
A wave of shame surged within Lin Zhixia.
She immediately burrowed back under the covers.
Jiang Yubai reached out a hand and rested it on her waist. She said: "Stop pretending, I know you've been awake for a while."
"Did you just wake up?" Jiang Yubai responded.
Lin Zhixia avoided his question and simply said: "Let's get up."
Looking at her flushed ears, Jiang Yubai said without hesitation: "Let's sleep together again tonight."
Lin Zhixia escaped from the bed and ran barefoot into the bathroom. She quickly composed herself, and that morning, she went to the Laboratory as if nothing had happened, carrying her backpack.
Everything in the Laboratory was as usual.
Wen Qi had arrived earlier than Lin Zhixia.
In the following days, Wen Qi continued his routine as before—appearing at 8 a.m. and leaving at 5 p.m.—showing no apparent irregularities.
However, within just a week, Lin Zhixia noticed something unusual about Wen Qi.
Lin Zhixia and Wen Qi were collaborating on a paper. Wen Qi had always worked quickly on experiments, handling data collection and processing with professional expertise. Yet, over the past week, Wen Qi had produced no results and hadn't sent the experimental data to Lin Zhixia on time.
During Monday's morning meeting, as per tradition, each student had to present their research progress for the week. When it was Wen Qi's turn, he only mentioned a few papers—all of which he had read before. Other students might not have realized this, but Lin Zhixia was well aware of the details.
Wen Qi had not only temporarily set aside his studies but had also stopped participating in their "ptsic" Quantum programming language development.
So far, "ptsic" had only achieved its simplest prototype, with much content still to be filled. It was as if they were jointly sewing a garment—they had just drafted the pattern, and Wen Qi, one of the key designers, had withdrawn from the team.Lin Zhixia wrote a lengthy email to Wen Qi, appealing to his emotions and reasoning with him. She patiently comforted him, but even after reading it, he never replied. She knocked on his office door—he sat inside, never answering.
Lin Zhixia assumed Wen Qi needed personal space.
So she waited another two full weeks for him.
Their collaborative paper had made zero progress.
Lin Zhixia could have been the sole author, but she didn’t want to remove Wen Qi’s contributions.
Days passed one after another, and the messages Lin Zhixia sent to Wen Qi sank like stones in the sea, with no response ever returning.
She stopped trying to contact him through electronic means.
One day in September, as soon as Wen Qi opened his office door and stepped inside, Lin Zhixia barged in right after him.
It was a bright and sunny morning. Wen Qi held a copy of "Story Club" magazine in his hand—a leisure read he had specifically bought from a flea market. He hid the "Story Club" behind his back, but Lin Zhixia immediately slapped a stack of papers onto his desk.
"Wen Qi," Lin Zhixia addressed him very formally, "you shouldn’t be like this."
Wen Qi asked, "Like what?"
Lin Zhixia began praising him: "You’re very intelligent, with a great memory, strong comprehension, and super solid foundational skills."
Wen Qi sat down in his chair. "I’m planning... to take a month off."
"You promised me," Lin Zhixia tried to encourage him, "that this paper on quantum recursive patterns would be finished before October. Also, for the ptsic quantum programming language project, you’ve studied quantum program semantic models using quantum Markov chains. My undergraduate classmate Feng Yuan specializes in Markov chains. I’ve discussed it with her—we can find time to explore new graph theory problems in Hilbert space. If we succeed, how meaningful that would be! Pull yourself together; your time is precious."
Wen Qi didn’t quite understand why Lin Zhixia always seemed so full of drive.
Wen Qi said, "I want to..."
Want to what?
Lin Zhixia waited for a long time, but Wen Qi didn’t continue.
Wen Qi sat in a swiveling ergonomic chair. He pressed his toes against the floor and turned to face the other direction.
Lin Zhixia ran over to stand in front of him and asked again, "Are you feeling unwell? I can help you contact a psychologist—our university has professional ones."
Wen Qi replied truthfully, "I’ve seen a doctor."
"How did it go?" Lin Zhixia was very concerned about him.
Wen Qi said, "I need to rest."
Lin Zhixia sat down on another bench.
She sighed softly and said, "I understand. Then rest well. You can ask your advisor for leave, stay home for a few more days, and adjust your mindset."
Lin Zhixia had little research background in psychology. She couldn’t offer professional guidance. She sincerely hoped Wen Qi would return to normal soon—as for their collaborative paper, Wen Qi told Lin Zhixia to remove his name. He also said that from now on, if he did any research, he would only work as a sole author.
This situation caught Lin Zhixia completely off guard.
In the WeChat group "New System Squad" created by Lin Zhixia, Feng Yuan was still urging her to find help soon so they could plan together for the graph theory problems in Hilbert space.Feng Yuan was Lin Zhixia's undergraduate roommate. Having participated in various competitions since childhood and with her father being a mathematics professor at a prestigious 985 university, Feng Yuan possessed exceptional comprehension and extensive reading, sharing many common interests with Lin Zhixia.
Feng Yuan had initially assumed Wen Qi would gladly join their research team, but unfortunately, Lin Zhixia brought her disappointing news.
Lin Zhixia explained that Wen Qi needed rest, and they had to find a new collaborator.
Who would it be?
Feng Yuan brought in two of her doctoral classmates.
Meanwhile, Lin Zhixia opened Google Scholar, entered several key phrases, and swiftly scanned the authors of relevant papers line by line. Soon, she spotted a familiar name: sergeialexandrov.
Lin Zhixia participated in the 2007 Romanian Master of Mathematics competition.
During this competition, Lin Zhixia met the Russian prodigy alexandrov. She remembered that alexandrov was particularly skilled at solving graph theory problems, having published several Russian-language mathematics books on graph theory in his youth.
Lin Zhixia hadn't kept up with him for a long time.
She opened a webpage and searched for his background.
His academic career had been smooth sailing. He completed both his bachelor's and doctoral degrees in Germany, with several renowned supervisors in the field, and he himself was a prominent emerging scholar. Shortly after earning his doctorate, he returned to teach at Moscow State University.
After careful consideration, Lin Zhixia sent him an email in Russian.
In her letter, she wrote: "Hello, respected Mr. sergeialexandrov. Before writing to you, I thought you might have some impression of me. I was the individual gold medalist in the 2007 Romanian Master of Mathematics, tied with you for first place that year. Currently, I am a second-year doctoral student. To improve a quantum programming language platform, my friends and I are studying a Markov chain-based quantum program semantic model and the resulting Hilbert space new graph theory. Your forty-five-minute presentation at the International Congress of Mathematicians left a deep impression on us. Attached are my explorations on the extended parts of your paper, as well as our recent research findings..."
After writing this, Lin Zhixia pressed the "send" button.
sergeialexandrov was very busy with work.
Lin Zhixia guessed the likelihood of him replying wasn't high.
She never expected that after sending the email in the morning, she would receive a reply that very afternoon.
alexandrov's wording in his reply was equally polite and courteous.
He said he remembered Lin Zhixia and had even followed her academic progress, thinking she was now focused on physics and computer science research. Finally, he asked whether Lin Zhixia's Russian had been translated by someone else or if she wrote it herself, pointing out that she had made two grammatical errors.
Lin Zhixia's face flushed red.
She had only studied Russian for seven months.
During those seven months, she was busy delving into programming and learned Russian in her spare time.
It was normal that her foundation wasn't solid.
Lin Zhixia couldn't be perfect in everything.
She humbly accepted his guidance. Through this back-and-forth, the two became pen pals via email. She extended an olive branch, inviting him to join their team, and he agreed without hesitation.
alexandrov's arrival delighted Feng Yuan immensely.
When Feng Yuan privately chatted with Lin Zhixia, she couldn't help but say: "A loss may turn out to be a gain. This Russian is much more capable than Wen Qi. He's not even twenty-five yet. In the field we're researching, he's at the very top of the pyramid."
Lin Zhixia smoothed things over: "Everyone has their own strengths."
Feng Yuan opened a webpage on her phone, searched for photos of sergeialexandrov, and grew even more surprised: "Huh? He's blond with blue eyes—what a handsome guy. Deng Shasha would definitely like him."
Deng Shasha was also Lin Zhixia's undergraduate roommate. One of Deng Shasha's lifelong wishes was to personally charm a super handsome man.Lin Zhixia explained on behalf of Deng Shasha: "Deng Shasha appreciates all good-looking people."
At this moment, they were having a video call on WeChat.
Feng Yuan stopped talking about Deng Shasha. She steered the conversation back to academic matters. She and Lin Zhixia set phased goals together and shared their respective thoughts. Lin Zhixia sighed with emotion: "It's so nice to have a friend like you."
Feeling sweet inside, Feng Yuan immediately replied: "I think so too."
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