First Frost

In 2007, after the college entrance exams ended, Sang Yan welcomed the longest summer vacation of his life. After returning from Beiyu, for a long time, he didn’t hear anyone mention Wen Yifan again.

He had scored well and received an acceptance letter from one of the top universities in the country.

His parents were overjoyed and proud, relatives frequently pulled him out to praise him, and everything around him was drowned in celebration.

Free from the heavy burden of studies, Sang Yan found himself with ample time, and his life became rich and fulfilling.

Sang Yan didn’t mention to anyone the relationship he had with Wen Yifan—one that he thought would see the light of day but ended without a trace. He went out with friends as usual to play basketball and games, endured his parents’ lectures while impatiently looking after his younger sister, and stayed up late, sleeping until noon.

He lived his life as usual.

It all seemed surprisingly simple.

Leaving that city meant that as long as he didn’t actively seek information about her, their paths would naturally diverge. Without any deliberate effort, he could completely step out of her world.

Effortlessly.

Sang Yan never deliberately tried to recall Wen Yifan.

He thought it was just a stroke of luck—both good and bad.

Good luck, because he met someone he liked.

Bad luck, because she didn’t like him back.

Perfectly ordinary.

So ordinary that he felt saying one more word, grieving one more second, or thinking of her one more time—

Would be unbearably melodramatic.

…

The next time he thought of Wen Yifan was on the day he arrived at Nanwu University to register.

There, Sang Yan met his roommate Duan Jiaxu and learned that he wasn’t a local of Nanwu but had come from Yihe. The moment he heard this, Sang Yan nearly blurted out, “How’s Yihe?”

“Pretty nice. You should visit sometime,” Duan Jiaxu replied with a smile. “The climate’s just really different from here, so I’m still adjusting to Nanwu.”

At the time, one of their other roommates was on the phone with his family, and the other was showering.

The two young men leaned against the balcony railing, bathed in the summer evening breeze. Hearing this, Sang Yan lowered his gaze, pulled a cigarette case from his pocket, and placed a cigarette between his lips without a word.

He silently offered the case to Duan Jiaxu.

Duan Jiaxu took it but only toyed with it in his hand, making no further move.

Sang Yan pulled out a lighter, watching the flame lick the cigarette tip, glowing crimson. Exhaling smoke, he seemed lost in thought, inexplicably recalling that Wen Yifan didn’t seem to like people who smoked.

Every time they passed someone smoking on the street, she would tug at his arm and hurry past.

Sang Yan couldn’t quite remember when he had started smoking.

When had he willingly become the kind of person she disliked?

“What’s up?” Duan Jiaxu asked casually when Sang Yan remained silent for too long. “Did a friend of yours go to school there?”

“No,” Sang Yan turned his head, his expression indifferent. “I was originally planning to apply there.”

“Why didn’t you?”

The quiet night carried the scent of osmanthus on the wind, bringing with it a wave of stifling heat.

Sang Yan wore a black T-shirt, his eyes dark like ink, elbows resting on the railing as he listened to the distant sounds of laughter and chatter. He stayed silent, not answering, finishing his cigarette.

After a long while—

Just when Duan Jiaxu thought he wouldn’t respond—

Sang Yan suddenly let out a faint laugh and said calmly, “Didn’t have time to change my application.”

Life went on as usual.Sang Yan finished his military training, tanned a shade darker, and began his university life shuttling between three points—classroom, dormitory, and cafeteria. During this period, he received numerous confessions and pursuits from female classmates but remained utterly indifferent to such matters.

He simply found it troublesome and exhausting, to the point where he couldn’t even be bothered to reject them outright, leaving no room for anyone to get close.

His life was one of extreme asceticism.

Sang Yan didn’t think he was deliberately waiting for anyone.

He just refused to settle or compromise.

He would never do something as reckless as casually finding someone to date just because he felt he was at the right age or had met someone who seemed suitable.

He never believed that a person’s life must include a significant other.

If he was lucky enough to meet one, that would be wonderful.

But if he didn’t,

then so be it.

On the early morning of First Frost, Sang Yan inexplicably dreamed of Wen Yifan—back when she had just started high school and wasn’t particularly well-liked in class. That "Gentle Vase," who remained good-natured even when people gossiped behind her back and gave her nicknames.

When he woke up, he squinted at the time.

Just past 2:10 a.m.

It was already the 24th.

Sang Yan sat on his bed, clearing his head. Perhaps it was the fermentation of nighttime emotions, but in that moment, he completely lost control of his feelings and impulses. He grabbed his phone, got out of bed, and walked to the balcony.

With practiced ease, he tapped Wen Yifan’s number into the dial pad.

A split second before the call went through, countless thoughts flashed through his mind.

How would she react upon hearing his voice?

She was definitely asleep at this hour—would she be angry if he woke her up?

Would she see his name and refuse to answer?

After the things he had said, was it even appropriate to call her now?

But he wanted to know—had she adjusted to her new environment?

Was she being bullied?

Yet all these thoughts came to an abrupt halt when a mechanical female voice sounded from the other end of the line.

"Sorry, the number you have dialed is not in service."

For the first time, Sang Yan clearly realized—

He had truly, completely, been abandoned by Wen Yifan.

Like an explosion of pent-up emotions, Sang Yan lowered his head in disarray, his Adam’s apple bobbing. He pulled the phone away from his ear and dialed again, listening as the same message repeated over and over.

Even after the call automatically disconnected, he redialed.

Stubbornly, endlessly, repeating the same futile action.

In the silent night where not a sound could be heard, the young man leaned against the railing, persisting in this meaningless act. Only when his phone died did he slowly lower it, lingering alone on the balcony for a long time.

When the sky began to lighten, he finally returned to his dorm.

Sang Yan always seemed to have words he couldn’t say.

Like that time he went to Beiyu to see her.

The words he had pondered over and rehearsed countless times—he never got the chance to tell her.

And this time,

this "Happy Birthday,"

seemed destined to join them.

Perhaps it would become

something he could never say to her again in this lifetime.

During his freshman winter break, Sang Yan was dragged by Su Haoan to a gathering with high school classmates. It was then, after half a year, that he heard news of Wen Yifan for the first time—from Zhong Siqiao.

At the time, Sang Yan found the private room too stifling and stepped out into the hallway to smoke.Not long after, Zhong Siqiao also stepped out to take a call. The dim lighting prevented her from noticing Sang Yan on the other side: "You're really not coming back for winter break? I was thinking either you could come to Nanwu or I’d visit you in Beiyu for a few days."

Hearing this, Sang Yan paused.

Zhong Siqiao: "Why aren’t you coming back? Did you start dating someone?"

Sang Yan glanced over.

"If not, then why not come back? It’s so lonely for you there alone..." Zhong Siqiao said. "Alright, take care of yourself over there. Oh, by the way, I downloaded that online game you mentioned before. I’ll play it tonight. I forgot which server you said—was it Server 2?"

"I didn’t misremember then. But I’m surprised you started gaming," Zhong Siqiao laughed. "What’s your in-game name? I’ll pick a sister name to match yours!"

"Warm Boiled Water?" Zhong Siqiao burst into laughter. "What kind of name is that? Fine, then I’ll go with Fierce Ice Water."

...

Later, Sang Yan learned the name of the online game Zhong Siqiao was playing from Su Haoan. One night before New Year’s Eve, as he lay in bed, he suddenly got up and turned on his computer.

Staring at the screen for a long moment, he opened a browser and downloaded the game.

Instinctively, Sang Yan started to register a male character. But when Wen Yifan crossed his mind, he hesitated, sliding the mouse to switch to a female avatar instead. He stared at the screen, lingering on the field for the in-game ID.

Then, slowly, he typed two characters.

—Defeated Surrender.

He had surrendered.

He simply couldn’t let go.

Sang Yan played for several days, leveling up until he matched Wen Yifan’s rank. Only then did he type "Warm Boiled Water" into the friend request window.

The game allowed random friend additions, and one of the leveling quests required adding 50 friends.

Soon after, Wen Yifan accepted the request.

Using the game’s location feature, Sang Yan found her coordinates. He maneuvered his character to stand beside hers, watching as she fought monsters alone. He mimicked her actions.

After a while, Sang Yan stopped and began typing.

Defeated Surrender : Party up?

At the same time, Wen Yifan’s character halted. Moments later, a speech bubble appeared above her avatar.

In that instant, Sang Yan fully resigned himself to fate, feeling a lightness he hadn’t known in half a year. His lips quirked as he recalled the words he’d spoken during their last meeting.

—"I won’t bother you anymore."

A promise-like statement.

Just like when he’d once told her, "I’ll always be here for you."

If he made that promise to her, he had to keep it.

But he couldn’t.

So he could only return to her side under a different identity.

Wen Yifan didn’t log in frequently, with her most active period being during the second semester of her freshman year. Over time, the two grew familiar, occasionally exchanging a few words about real-life matters.

He learned that her most frequented spot on campus was the library.

That she worked part-time at a milk tea shop off-campus.

That she still hadn’t gotten a boyfriend.

...

With careful discretion, Sang Yan used this method to quietly observe her life.

Later, perhaps due to the busyness of reality...Wen Yifan logged into the game less and less frequently. The intervals gradually lengthened—from days to weeks, then to months. But over those four years, she never completely abandoned the game.

Their conversations revolved entirely around trivial matters.

Warm boiled water : Your username is kind of unlucky.

Warm boiled water : Defeat and surrender?

Warm boiled water : Wait, is this pronounced "xiang" or "jiang"?

Warm boiled water : Did you make a typo? Shouldn’t it be "will"?

Defeated Surrender : That one was already taken.

Warm boiled water : I’ve been really busy with school lately, so I might not play much.

Warm boiled water : I feel like we’ve always teamed up, and even though I don’t know if you’ve ever waited for me, I still worry that you might sometimes. So I thought I should let you know.

Defeated Surrender : I have waited.

Defeated Surrender : But I’m starting an internship soon, so I won’t log in much either.

Defeated Surrender : Let’s catch up when we have time.

Their only means of communication dwindled from then on.

Sang Yan continued making regular trips to Yihe as usual. Occasionally, he didn’t run into her, but most of the time, he managed to catch glimpses of her life—how she had grown thinner, made a new friend, cut her hair short, and seemed a little brighter.

Later, the messaging app WeChat was launched.

One night, Sang Yan noticed a red dot in the "New Friends" section. He tapped on it and saw that the other person’s name was simply "Wen," with the WeChat ID "wenyifan1024."

—Added via phone contacts.

Sang Yan stared at it for a few seconds before accepting.

On the other end, she didn’t initiate any conversation.

It seemed as though adding him had been nothing more than an accidental action.

Some time passed.

Sang Yan saw her post her first WeChat Moment. The photo showed a desk piled high with newspapers, accompanied by the caption: "Read newspapers all week. If I still have nothing to do tomorrow, I’ll start memorizing them."

Zhong Siqiao teased in the comments: "HAHAHAHAHA at least you got an internship!"

From the text visible in the photo, Sang Yan recognized it as the Yihe Daily .

The next time he visited Yihe, passing by a newsstand, Sang Yan paused briefly before approaching. He pulled a few hundred-yuan bills from his wallet and handed them to the vendor. "Auntie," he said softly, "could you save me a copy of the Yihe Daily every day?"

"Huh? Save one for you?"

"Mm. I’ll come collect them every three months."

……

On the day of Wen Yifan’s graduation ceremony, Sang Yan entered the auditorium and sat in the back row, watching her walk onstage to receive her diploma. After the ceremony, he saw her being pulled away by friends to take photos.

In his eyes, she stood out in every crowd—always the most striking presence.

Always the one he could spot at first glance.

At one point, Sang Yan pulled out his phone. He gazed at Wen Yifan in the distance, lost in the sea of people, as if separated from him by an invisible barrier.

So many times.

Not once had she noticed his presence.

From beginning to end.

It was as though she had never seen him at all.

Dressed in a formal white shirt and dress pants—despite how uncomfortable he felt in them—Sang Yan raised his phone. For the first time in four years, he called out her name in front of her: "Wen Yifan."

Following the sound, Wen Yifan turned toward him in confusion.That was the first time Sang Yan appeared before her without wearing a mask or a hat.

He was utterly conflicted.

Longing to be discovered by her, yet not wanting to be noticed at all.

The moment Wen Yifan’s gaze fully landed on his face—

Sang Yan still turned away, walking in the opposite direction. He lowered his head, staring at the photo of Wen Yifan on his phone screen. A faint smile lingered on his lips, as if he were still immersed in the joy of graduation.

As it should be.

This was a day meant for her happiness.

Not a day to meet someone she shouldn’t see.

His lips curved slightly as he stepped away, one foot after another, distancing himself from the lively scene.

Just like every other time before.

He came alone, and he left alone.

As if repeating, over and over, a lonely journey with no end in sight.

After graduation, Sang Yan co-founded a bar with a few friends. He stayed at the company where he had interned during his senior year, and as work kept him busy, his trips to Yihe became fewer and farther between.

Through Wen Yifan’s social media updates, Sang Yan learned that she had changed jobs and joined the news department at Yihe Broadcasting.

Beyond that, he knew nothing else.

In his free time, Sang Yan would log into that online game.

Years later, the game had gradually declined, its player base dwindling. His friends list was entirely grayed out. Wandering through the map, he occasionally spotted only a few leveling bots.

One summer night in 2013.

Sang Yan habitually logged into the game before bed, but this time, he unexpectedly saw Wen Yifan—who hadn’t logged in for over a year. He stared for several seconds to confirm he wasn’t mistaken, then teleported directly to her location.

Defeated Surrender : Did your account get hacked?

Warm Boiled Water : …You’re still playing?

Warm Boiled Water : I was cleaning up my computer and realized I never uninstalled this game, so I logged in to take a look.

Defeated Surrender : How have you been?

A long silence followed.

Warm Boiled Water : Not great.

Warm Boiled Water : Life isn’t happy, but you just have to keep going.

Sang Yan froze.

That was the first time she had ever expressed negativity about her life in front of him.

After exchanging a few more casual words—

Warm Boiled Water : I have things to do, I’ll log off now.

With that, Wen Yifan went offline.

Sang Yan stared at the screen for a long while before finally booking a flight to Yihe for the next afternoon.

By the time he arrived in Yihe, it was already evening.

Sang Yan took a taxi to the entrance of Yihe Broadcasting. Before even stepping out of the car, he spotted Wen Yifan walking out of the building. She carried a bag on her back, moving slowly, her expression hollow.

He got out of the car and silently followed her.

Wen Yifan walked straight ahead, crossing a street and turning a corner. Passing by a cake shop, she paused for three seconds outside, staring at a strawberry cake displayed in the glass window.

As if the price was too steep, she quickly averted her gaze and continued walking.

She sat down on a bench by the street, staring blankly at the ground.

She didn’t cry, didn’t check her phone, didn’t make any calls.

She did nothing at all.

There was no telling what had happened.

Sang Yan stood at the corner, watching her for a long time. His lashes flickered slightly before he turned and entered the cake shop, purchasing that strawberry cake. He paid but didn’t take the box the cashier handed him.

Instead, he pointed outside and made a request:

"Could you give this cake to the woman sitting on the bench?"

The cashier: "Huh?""Just say it's a new item on your menu." Sang Yan came up with a flimsy excuse. "Tell her if she posts about it on her Moments, she can get a free serving."

...

Three months after returning to Nanwu, Sang Yan found himself thinking every day about Wen Yifan sitting alone on that bench in silence. In one moment of clarity, he finally made up his mind. He got up and opened his laptop to draft a resignation letter.

If she wasn't doing well.

Then there really wasn't anything left for him to hesitate about.

Sang Yan remembered that message he'd never sent in the game.

—Would you consider relocating?

But by the time he hit send, she had already logged off.

After that day, she never logged in again.

She still never received his words.

But this seemed like an easily solvable problem.

If you won't come to me.

Then I'll go to you.

On the night of his official resignation, Sang Yan was dragged by Su Haoan to "overtime" drinking. The moment he entered, he immediately spotted Wen Yifan sitting at one of the scattered tables.

She wore a light-colored sweater, her skin pale as paper but lips strikingly red, laughing as she chatted with Zhong Siqiao across from her.

Just like every moment from before.

For an instant, Sang Yan felt dazed.

As if he'd stepped into an illusion.

Instead of heading straight upstairs as usual, Sang Yan walked to the bar counter and struck up a conversation with He Mingbo. Puzzled, He Mingbo asked, "Bro, why aren't you going up?"

Distractedly, Sang Yan replied, "Ah, later."

He Mingbo: "Want me to mix you a drink?"

"No need."

They exchanged a few casual words.

Just then, a loud commotion came from Wen Yifan's direction. Following the sound, he saw Yu Zhuo spill his drink all over her, apologizing with a pale face.

Clearly chilled by the alcohol, she stood up immediately.

After brief exchanges, Wen Yifan seemed ready to head to the restroom. She lifted her gaze and met his eyes. Whether she didn't recognize him or had long sensed his presence, her expression remained calm.

Her eyes shifted away quickly.

Beside them, He Mingbo was saying, "Hey, she seems pretty easygoing. I'll have Yu Zhuo handle it—"

Sang Yan straightened up, watching Wen Yifan's retreating figure as he cut him off.

"I'll go."

Indeed.

He still couldn't bear this feeling of being shut out of her world.

If he wanted to see her, then he should go to her.

Since he could never love anyone else again.

Then he would spend his entire life.

Loving the one person he'd stubbornly wanted to have for a lifetime.

—Extra Story End—