Many things from the past, Wen Yifan actually couldn’t remember very clearly.
She rarely made an effort to recall them. But whenever she did, every memory related to Sang Yan—every scene, every tiny detail—seemed to come back to her vividly.
She also remembered that one moment.
She could distinctly feel her heart skip a beat.
...
Zhong Siqiao was still talking in front of her: “I was in the same class as Cui Jingyu back then, and I heard her talk about Sang Yan every single day. So even the people in our class who didn’t know him ended up knowing all about him because of her.”
Wen Yifan listened quietly, a faint smile curving her lips.
“Hey, why didn’t you answer my question earlier? It’s been so long anyway, let’s just chat casually.” Zhong Siqiao steered the conversation back, half-joking. “I won’t say ‘like,’ but did you have a crush on him? Just some feelings.”
“...”
“If you don’t answer, I’ll take it as a yes.”
This time, Wen Yifan finally spoke up, earnestly saying, “Sure.”
“I can take that as you admitting it?” Zhong Siqiao was taken aback by the answer. “Really?”
Wen Yifan chuckled. “Why that reaction?”
“You actually liked Sang Yan back then?”
“Mhm.”
Zhong Siqiao was genuinely surprised. In her impression, Wen Yifan had always been indifferent to everything, as if nothing mattered to her. “Do you still like him now?”
Wen Yifan smiled. “Like you said, it’s been so long.”
“But aren’t you two living together now?!” Zhong Siqiao’s voice rose with excitement. “Seeing each other every single day! And both of you had feelings for each other before! What if old flames reignite?”
“...” At this, Wen Yifan said softly, “That won’t happen.”
“Huh?”
“He’s moving out soon.”
Zhong Siqiao teased casually, “So you’re saying if he stayed longer, you wouldn’t be able to resist?”
“...”
Even as an outsider, Zhong Siqiao felt a pang of regret and asked, “Then why didn’t you two get together back then?”
Wen Yifan didn’t answer.
“Because you transferred schools and moved away?” Zhong Siqiao guessed. “So you lost contact?”
“No.”
“Then why?”
Silence fell.
Just then, the noodles they ordered arrived. Wen Yifan handed her a pair of chopsticks. Lowering her eyes, she didn’t answer the earlier question but suddenly said, “I don’t know if other people are like me.”
“Huh?”
“My college roommate once told me that I seem emotionally detached.” Wen Yifan said. “We used to be really close, but I rarely reached out to them. After graduation, it was like we just cut ties. They were really upset about it, thinking I didn’t care about them at all.”
Wen Yifan blinked. “I admit that’s true.”
Zhong Siqiao’s lips parted, but no words came out.
“It’s not that I don’t care, I’m just too lazy to maintain those relationships.” Wen Yifan took a bite of noodles and said quietly, “With Xiang Lang, after he went abroad, we barely kept in touch. But I didn’t feel particularly sad about it.”
“...”
“I think these things,” Wen Yifan said, “are just natural.”
“Right.” Zhong Siqiao agreed. “Don’t worry about what others say.”"I know this is my issue. To put it bluntly, I'm just not very warm-hearted, am I?" Wen Yifan smiled, steering the conversation back to the original topic. "At that time, my impression of Sang Yan was—"
She paused for a few seconds, feeling the words sounded somewhat affected, but still spoke them earnestly.
"That someone like him—"
"Should be loved passionately."
There wasn’t any specific example.
At the very least, it should be like Cui Jingyu in their youth.
Her affection was never hidden, her joy solely for him, her eyes bright whenever she spoke to him—vibrant and radiant to the extreme.
"So it couldn’t be," Wen Yifan fell silent for a moment, "someone like me."
"Why do you put yourself down like that? You’re so beautiful and have such a good temper," Zhong Siqiao frowned, clearly disagreeing with her thoughts. "Maybe he likes someone with your personality."
Wen Yifan stayed quiet for a while longer before changing the subject. "I saw my aunt again recently."
Zhong Siqiao made a sound of surprise. "When?"
"About two weeks ago."
Because Wen Yifan rarely brought up things that upset her, Zhong Siqiao didn’t know how she had fared at her uncle’s house, only that it seemed she hadn’t been very happy.
So now, Zhong Siqiao wasn’t sure what to say.
"When I first moved in with my uncle," Wen Yifan moved her chopsticks but didn’t eat immediately, continuing, "one night, I accidentally overheard my aunt say something."
"What?"
"At the time, my cousin was in his final year of high school. My aunt would often make him nourishing soups at night to help him stay healthy." Wen Yifan smiled faintly at the memory. "Once, I heard my cousin say, 'I don’t want to drink this. Give it to Ajiang.'"
"..."
"And my aunt said," Wen Yifan’s voice softened, "First Frost doesn’t need to drink something so good."
Zhong Siqiao froze, then immediately flared up. "What the hell? Is your aunt insane?"
Wen Yifan’s tone remained calm. "At the time, I just thought it was funny. I didn’t take it to heart."
"..."
Wen Yifan had never been one to argue with others.
When she heard those words, she genuinely found them absurd and amusing. Before that, she had lived a life where she was the center of attention at home, doted on by her family in every way. Her parents had always given her the best in food, clothing, and everything else.
She had never heard anything like that before.
"But strangely, over time, I started to internalize her words. Because back then, I was," Wen Yifan searched for the right phrasing before settling on her own words, "a burden everyone was trying to pass off."
"..."
"There really was no need to give me anything too good."
"Dian Dian," Zhong Siqiao sighed, reaching out to pat her head. "Don’t pay attention to those words."
"Even now, when I think about it, I still don’t believe what she said was right," Wen Yifan said. "But when I see dresses that cost hundreds or small cakes that cost dozens, I hesitate for a long time and never end up buying them for myself."
"..."
That notion seemed to have grown over time—from a faint sprout into a deeply rooted tree.
Bit by bit, it seeped into her, reinforcing one idea relentlessly.
She didn’t deserve nice things.
And of course, she wasn’t worthy of the best things either.
Including that dazzling boy."It's not that I can't afford it," Wen Yifan smiled, "but I always feel like such expensive things—such expensive dresses, such expensive makeup... using them on me seems a bit wasteful."
Zhong Siqiao looked at her silently, suddenly feeling very sad.
Compared to before, Wen Yifan didn't seem to have changed much outwardly.
But in reality, there was a fundamental difference in her core.
"Don't listen to that bullshit from your aunt, she's got a screw loose—I'm so fucking done with her." Zhong Siqiao steered away from the depressing topic, shifting gears. "Let's talk about men again."
"..."
"What about Sang Yan? Are you sure he doesn't like you anymore?" Zhong Siqiao said. "Thinking about it now, isn't it strange? With his personality, and not lacking money either, why would he randomly look for someone to share an apartment with?"
Wen Yifan replied gently, "I'm quite sure."
Zhong Siqiao: "Why?"
"Because I treated him quite poorly. There was a period when my personality was rather sharp." Wen Yifan pursed her lips, momentarily lost in thought. "Sang Yan was the only one who treated me very well—"
"Yet he was the one I hurt."
She felt guilty and remorseful.
And she knew he wouldn't allow—
Anyone to repeatedly trample on his pride.
Wen Yifan remembered very clearly that by the second time the teacher misunderstood her relationship with Sang Yan as puppy love, she had already moved to her uncle's house.
Although the teacher had notified Zhao Yuandong at the time, because Zhao Yuandong was unavailable, she still entrusted the matter to Wen Yifan's uncle, Wen Liangxian. So the person who came to meet the teacher on her behalf was Wen Liangxian.
That day happened to be a Friday afternoon.
After the parents' discussion, Wen Yifan was taken home by Wen Liangxian.
Not a word was spoken the entire car ride.
Wen Yifan anxiously explained many things along the way, but Wen Liangxian said nothing. Afraid of annoying him if she spoke too much, she eventually fell silent.
Until they arrived at her uncle's house.
Che Yanqin was also there at the time. Seeing her return, she remarked, "First Frost, you're so disobedient. It's not easy for us to take care of you, always causing trouble for your uncle. His work is already busy enough—can't you just make things easier for us?"
Wen Yifan stood frozen in the entryway, her fingers stiff. She couldn't even bring herself to take off her shoes, feeling she shouldn't step inside, feeling that everything she did was wrong.
It was then that Wen Liangxian spoke: "Ajiang."
Wen Yifan looked up, silently awaiting judgment.
She would never forget his words at that moment.
Tearing away all pretense of civility.
As if he could no longer endure.
"Uncle doesn't mean to blame you, but you need to understand one thing—we have no obligation to raise you," Wen Liangxian's features bore an eighty percent resemblance to her father's, though his eyes carried a sharper edge. "Yet we still treat you as our own daughter."
We have no obligation to raise you.
No obligation.
To raise you.
"..."
Wen Yifan's throat tightened, rendering her momentarily speechless.
That was the first time.
They had laid their cards on the table so explicitly.
Clearly and tactfully using words to tell her they didn't want her living there.
"Your brother is preparing for his college entrance exams right now—our focus is entirely on him. All we ask is for you to behave and not do anything outrageous." Wen Liangxian said calmly. "Is that really too much to ask?"Wen Yifan stood in place, her head gradually lowering.
Lowering into the dust.
After a long while.
She whispered, "I'm sorry, I won't do it again."
……
Back in her room, Wen Yifan immediately dug out her phone from the cabinet. She pressed the power button, her hands trembling uncontrollably. As she waited, it felt like an entire century had passed.
She found Zhao Yuandong's number and called.
A long time passed.
Just as Wen Yifan thought the call would disconnect automatically, the other end finally picked up.
Zhao Yuandong's voice came through: "Ajiang?"
Wen Yifan's nose stung, and the tears she had been holding back immediately fell.
She wanted to tell her.
I’ll be obedient, I won’t argue with Zheng Kejia.
I’ll get along well with Uncle Zheng.
So can you come pick me up and take me back to your place?
Can you not leave me alone at Uncle’s house?
Mom, Uncle and his family don’t like me.
Can you take me home?
But before Wen Yifan could say a single word, Zheng Kejia’s voice sounded from Zhao Yuandong’s end.
Her tone instantly became urgent, and she hurriedly said, "If you have anything, talk to your uncle. Behave well at his house, and don’t start dating early, understand?"
Then she hung up.
Listening to the cold dial tone, Wen Yifan set the phone down. She lowered her head, watching the screen gradually dim, tears still falling. She sat stiffly in place.
In that moment, she felt as though her only support had been severed.
She didn’t know how much time had passed.
The phone in her hand vibrated again.
Slowly, she looked down and saw the caller ID.
—Sang Yan.
Wen Yifan stared at it for a long time before answering.
Silence on both ends.
After a while, Sang Yan spoke first: "You home?"
Wen Yifan gave a soft "Mm."
"Did you get scolded?" His voice sounded tense, stumbling slightly. "I didn’t think the teacher would call our parents again over such a trivial thing. It’s my fault for dragging you into this, sorr—"
Wen Yifan suddenly cut him off: "Sang Yan."
It was as if all emotions had forewarning.
His voice stopped abruptly, and he didn’t continue.
That was the moment Wen Yifan’s negativity peaked.
She desperately tried to stop herself, knowing she shouldn’t say such things—not when the boy was apologizing like that.
But she couldn’t control her emotions at all.
In the silent little room, Wen Yifan heard herself say softly:
"Can you just stop bothering me?"
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