Extra Chapter 5: Gu Chusheng
Prologue:
Gu Chusheng heard the sound of rain. He stood up and paused by the window.
Now approaching sixty, his health had long since declined. The night rain felt chilly, and he couldn't suppress a light cough.
Gu Yanqing entered and, seeing him by the window, couldn't help saying, "Father, why have you opened the window again?"
Gu Chusheng smiled gently. "The rain is lovely tonight."
Gu Yanqing sighed. "You're still ill. Best not to watch the night rain."
Gu Chusheng said nothing. Smiling, he walked to the table, picked up the medicine bowl, and took small sips.
"How is the flood situation in Dezhou?"
"Father," Gu Yanqing said unhappily, "don't trouble yourself with such matters. Focus on recovering."
Gu Chusheng coughed softly and shook his head. "I can't set my mind at ease. I keep wanting to ask."
"You're just missing a companion by your pillow," Gu Yanqing said helplessly. "Father, Mother has been gone for so many years. It's time to let go. Find someone—old or young, just having someone with you would be good."
"Child, why meddle in adult affairs?"
Gu Chusheng chided softly. Gu Yanqing couldn't resist arguing, "Father, my own child can already call me 'Dad'."
"You're still my son."
Gu Chusheng retorted immediately. Just as Gu Yanqing was about to say more, Gu Chusheng cut him off.
"Enough, I know what you want to say. But Yanqing," his voice remained calm, "in this world, everything can be compromised—except feelings."
"If you don't know what you want, don't take anything.Gu Yanqing urgently wanted to refute but stopped when he saw Gu Chusheng's expression.
Gu Chusheng seemed lost in some memory, his gaze tender. "Besides, I've already had it. I won't force what isn't meant to be."
"I still have too much to do in this lifetime. Remembering her is enough."
【1】
Gu Chusheng's earliest impression of Chu Yu came from Chu Jin.
While Gu Chusheng was still in his mother's womb, his father was promoted from Prefect of Lanzhou to Vice Minister of Works. On their journey back to the capital, they encountered a group of bandits. His mother, frightened, went into labor. In that critical moment, Chu Jianchang happened to pass by and rescued them, saving the entire family. Gu Chusheng's father was a man who believed in repaying kindness. On the spot, he vowed that Gu Chusheng would henceforth be considered half a son of the Chu family, naming him Chusheng—meaning "born for the Chu family." Moved by this gesture, Chu Jianchang arranged a marriage alliance between the two families as soon as Gu Chusheng was born.
Shortly after Gu Chusheng's birth, Xie Yun became pregnant and gave birth to twin girls. At the time, the country was at war. Chu Jianchang took a sword blow for the Marquis of Zhenguo on the battlefield. In gratitude, the Wei family arranged a marriage with the Chu family. With the Wei family claiming a marriage alliance, the Gu family naturally didn't dare compete. It was ultimately decided that the eldest daughter, Chu Yu, would be betrothed to the Wei heir, Wei Jun, while the younger daughter, Chu Jin, would be betrothed to Gu Chusheng.
Rumors spread that the Chu family's two excellent marriage alliances were bought with Chu Jianchang's life—which wasn't far from the truth.
Considering the Wei family's military background and the Gu family's scholarly heritage, the Chu family raised the two children separately. Chu Jianchang took Chu Yu to grow up in the southwestern borderlands, while Xie Yun, coming from a literary family, raised Chu Jin in the capital, Huajing.
The southwest was plagued by frequent conflicts at that time, and children couldn't endure long journeys. Thus, Chu Yu spent twelve full years on the frontier without ever returning.Before the age of twelve, Gu Chusheng had never met Chu Yu. In his childhood, his health was frail—he was often confined to his home drinking medicine, and his only playmate was Chu Jin from the Chu residence. Since they were young, both knew they were destined to become husband and wife. Thus, Chu Jin took great care of him: she would brew his medicine, wipe his sweat, and sweetly call him, "Brother Chusheng."
That form of address constantly reminded Gu Chusheng of his innate duty—he was half a son of the Chu family, born for their sake.
So from a young age, he regarded Chu Jin as his future wife and looked after her accordingly, even though in his youth, he didn’t yet understand what a wife ought to be.
During that time, although Chu Yu never returned home, legends about her permeated the Chu household. Every time Chu Jianchang and Chu Linyang came back, they would speak of this eldest legitimate daughter. And Xie Yun, clinging to tales of this daughter, would repeatedly recount what they had said even after Chu Linyang and Chu Jianchang had left.
For instance, that Chu Yu was forthright and cheerful, highly skilled in martial arts; that she was both brave and resourceful, kind-hearted and sharp-witted.
After hearing such praises for so long, Chu Jin grew to deeply dislike Chu Yu. She often told Gu Chusheng, "My sister... she's just a country bumpkin, a brute."
As she grew older, Chu Jin learned to speak more subtly and changed her phrasing: "My sister, she's straightforward in character, only knows how to wield spears and clubs. Who knows what misfortunes she might face when she comes to Huajing in the future?"
Chu Jin’s heart was full of twists and turns, and Gu Chusheng was no less perceptive. Even with the altered wording, he understood Chu Jin’s underlying meaning. The petty jealousies and minor cruelties of a young girl’s heart didn’t bother him.
After all, he was Chu Jin’s husband-to-be; protecting her was only right and proper.
【2】
He carried this animosity toward Chu Yu until he was twelve.
At twelve, he accompanied his father to the southwestern frontier. His father was overseeing the construction of a defense project in the southwest, and Gu Chusheng went along to learn.
On the day he and his father arrived, Chu Jianchang personally came to greet them. It was still early morning, and in the distance, they saw magpies flying over moonlit mountains tinged with dawn light. Where the light fell, a procession appeared—led by Chu Jianchang, followed by two youths. One was older, dressed in black martial attire—Gu Chusheng guessed it must be Chu Linyang. The other... was a girl. She appeared to be eleven or twelve years old, clad in red martial attire, her hair tied high with a ribbon.
She was actually very beautiful, but in a different way from Chu Jin. Her eye sockets were deep, her eyelashes long, her eyes large and bright, radiating a vitality and brightness rare among the women of Huajing—a striking, dazzling kind of beauty that made it hard for one to keep their eyes open.
At that time, Gu Chusheng had just woken up. He wore a red wide-sleeved robe embroidered with golden cloud patterns, a Jade Crown on his head, and a white cloak with a fur collar over it—elegant yet with a touch of boyish charm.
His father led him before Chu Jianchang. Gu Chusheng paid his respects properly, displaying a maturity uncommon for his age, and said, "Greetings, Uncle Chu. Greetings, Elder Brother." His gaze then fell upon Chu Yu. After a moment’s hesitation, he ultimately chose the same form of address Chu Jin used: "Little Sister Chu Yu."
When offering greetings, he always looked directly at the person. So as he called out "Little Sister Chu Yu," his beautiful eyes rested squarely on her.
Hearing him address her, the girl widened her eyes slightly, then suddenly ducked behind Chu Linyang.The Chu family members felt somewhat awkward. Chu Linyang maintained a smile as he pulled at Chu Yu, lowering his voice to say, "What are you doing? Come out!"
"No, no," Chu Yu's crisp voice rang out, "This young master is too handsome. I'm afraid I'll scare him."
Gu Chusheng: "..."
For the first time in his life, he felt like he was being flirted with.
This feeling wasn't pleasant, so he thought to himself, this was indeed the country bumpkin woman Chu Jin had described.
That night, he stayed at the Chu residence. The southwest had a completely different climate from Huajing. Under the brilliant starlight with faint floral fragrance in the air, and women singing unfamiliar tunes in the distance, he couldn't resist the urge to play his qin. Carrying his instrument to the courtyard, he heard Chu Yu's voice coming from the garden as soon as he stepped out. She seemed to be talking excitedly to others: "Ah, you don't know about that Gu Chusheng - he's devastatingly handsome! When I saw him today, my heart started racing. When he looked at me and called me Sister Chu Yu, I suddenly understood what Third Aunt meant when she said her bones went weak..."
The women around her laughed. One woman pursed her lips and said, "Eldest Miss, you're still young. What could you possibly understand?"
Hearing these women discussing his appearance again, Gu Chusheng thought to himself, how vulgar.
So he hugged his qin and retreated back to his room.
A few days later, Chu Yu came looking for him. Swinging her whip, she said boldly, "Brother Gu, my brother said you've been cooped up in your room for too long and asked me to look after you. How about I show you around?"
Gu Chusheng's face was frosty. Chilled by his attitude, Chu Yu somewhat awkwardly rubbed her nose: "Um, Brother Gu, did I say something wrong?"
"Eldest Miss hasn't said anything wrong," Gu Chusheng said calmly, "It's just that we're not exactly young anymore. For you to take me out touring would be rather inappropriate."
"What's inappropriate?" Chu Yu looked completely confused. Gu Chusheng glanced at her sideways with some disdain: "Does Eldest Miss not even understand the boundaries between men and women?"
"I haven't held your hand, hugged you, or kissed you. How have I crossed any boundaries?" Chu Yu became somewhat displeased, frowning as she said, "You're my future brother-in-law. Did you think I'd take a fancy to you?"
Hearing this, Gu Chusheng sneered coldly, not believing a word. Having heard Chu Yu's improper comments about him with his own ears, how could he believe such nonsense now?
Seeing that he wasn't willing to go out, Chu Yu didn't press further, simply saying, "Fine, don't go then. I'll go by myself."
【3】
Though Chu Yu didn't take him along, Gu Chusheng was after all still young. After holding out for half a month, he finally couldn't resist and started going out to wander around. He often saw Chu Yu - for no other reason than wherever there were crowds, Chu Yu was usually there.
He saw her leading people galloping on horseback through the streets, and he saw her wrestling with others in the training grounds, covered in mud. He discovered that wherever Chu Yu went, she became the center of attention, and that she knew this city intimately - when it came to food, drink, and entertainment, she always knew the most interesting places. So he began secretly following her, eating at the restaurants she frequented, ordering the dishes she recommended, visiting the taverns she went to, walking the paths she took.
Maintaining the dignity of a Huajing noble family while living the life Chu Yu lived, he surprisingly found it quite enjoyable.
The young woman's life was vibrant and moving, completely different from those noble ladies of Huajing.Later, he also realized that Chu Yu probably truly had no improper thoughts about him, because she actually wasn’t very cultured and had an extremely limited vocabulary. Whenever she saw a slightly handsome man, she would tell people, “Now I finally understand what it means to have half my bones go soft.” Gu Chusheng couldn’t help but laugh, thinking that this girl Chu Yu’s bones had probably long since turned to dust.
A woman like this…
He thought about it and felt relieved that it was Wei Jun who married her. If it were him, he would have long been angered to death by such a restless woman.
He loved women like Chu Jin—those who understood propriety, were sensible, skilled in calligraphy, and knowledgeable in music.
However—if Chu Yu weren’t his wife, watching such a lively girl from afar seemed quite pleasant too.
He followed Chu Yu like this for over half a year. Occasionally, when they ran into each other, she would greet him indifferently, saying, “Hey, you’re here.”
Over time, he would smile back at her, occasionally treating her to a cup of wine, and they coexisted peacefully.
Until the year he turned thirteen, when the State of Chen launched a surprise attack and Xuzhou City fell.
At that time, Chu Jianchang’s main forces were not present, and Chu Yu had gone out to play alone. Chu Linyang, carrying a long spear, urged him, “Go out of the city and find my sister for me. Take her and retreat to Yancheng immediately!”
Knowing the situation was critical, he took a cloak, strapped on his longsword, and rode out on horseback.
He searched for Chu Yu across the wilderness. Just as Xuzhou City fell, he finally found her. She stood alone in the open field, looking dazed and somewhat panicked, watching the billowing smoke rising from the city. In that moment, he finally thought, after all, she was just a young girl.
He galloped toward her, stretched out his hand, and called loudly, “Chu Yu, get up here!”
Chu Yu looked up blankly, saw him, and her eyes suddenly lit up as she exclaimed, “Gu Chusheng?!”
“Get up,” he urged her. “I’ll take you away.”
Chu Yu hesitated for a moment before grabbing his hand. He then pulled her close, wrapping her in his cloak, and scolded, “Why are you wearing so little when you go out?!”
On a snowy day like this, wasn’t she afraid of freezing to death?
This time, Chu Yu didn’t joke around. She quietly held onto him, listening to his heartbeat and the sound of the horse’s hooves.
Thinking she was scared, he softened his heart and couldn’t help saying, “Don’t worry, I’ll escort you to Yancheng. Your father and brother will be fine. I’ll stay with you.”
Chu Yu held onto him for a long time before she finally murmured softly, “Oh.”
【4】
He rode with her through the night and finally brought her safely to Yancheng.
After arriving in Yancheng, she seemed somewhat downcast. He assumed she was frightened and didn’t think much of it.
In the following days, when he went to see her, she avoided him. He didn’t understand why. As a proud young man, after being rejected a few times, he stopped going. After all, they were nothing to each other—why subject himself to such humiliation?
At that time, he didn’t understand that a girl could only act openly and confidently if she didn’t like someone. If she did, she would only shrink back timidly.
After all, he was Chu Yu’s future brother-in-law. With her personality, how could she allow herself to entertain any further thoughts?
He didn’t see Chu Yu again until they returned to the capital. On the day of their return, he deliberately hinted to Chu Linyang to send word to Chu Yu. He hoped she would come to see him off, thinking that even as just a friend, Chu Yu ought to bid him farewell.Who would have thought, he waited from daybreak till dusk, yet still she did not come. He didn’t even know why he was so angry. Letting the curtain fall, he snapped, “Let’s go.”
He thought to himself that when Chu Yu came to Huajing in the future, he would never go to meet her.
He kept his word. After the Xu City rebellion, Chu Jianchang finally felt the borderlands were unsafe and sent Chu Yu back to Huajing. Though he heard she had arrived, he did not go to see her. It wasn’t until his father took him to a banquet at the Chu residence that he finally saw Chu Yu.
Returned to the capital, Chu Yu was like an eagle with clipped wings, out of place among the crowd. When she saw him, it was as if she didn’t recognize him. Since she didn’t acknowledge him, he made no effort to befriend her either.
Only occasionally, when she tripped over her own skirt and fell, drawing laughter from others, would he remind Chu Jin to help her up.
He had thought life would always be like this—that he would enter officialdom, marry Chu Jin, serve the nation, and remain loyal to his sovereign.
Until the seventh year of Chunxi, when he was fifteen, and the Prince of Qin rebelled.
From the very start of the Prince of Qin’s rebellion, he sensed something amiss with his father. Clever as he was, he quickly guessed what his father intended to do.
His father held deep affection for the founding Zhao clan and had once been treated with courtesy by the Prince of Qin. Now that the Prince of Qin was in trouble, he would not stand idly by.
Yet he was still shocked when Zhao Yue appeared in their home. Even though, by then, his father had already disguised Zhao Yue as an ordinary servant.
He knew his family’s circumstances and understood the Emperor’s methods. He was certain that his naive father’s efforts would never be enough to protect Zhao Yue. But with Zhao Yue already in the Gu household, no matter what, the Gu family was doomed.
So, on that rainy night, he had the family’s hidden guards scout the surroundings. Once they confirmed traces of other spies lying in wait, he knew the Gu family was beyond saving.
His father wept and begged him desperately.
“I can die, but the Zhao bloodline must not be cut off!”
Gu Chusheng’s face turned deathly pale. Watching his father’s tear-streaked face, he finally said, “I have a plan.”
Zhao Yue sat calmly in the room, sipping tea. Hearing Gu Chusheng’s words, he looked up. Gu Chusheng turned to Zhao Yue, his voice trembling, “I’ve heard that the heir is on good terms with the Eldest Princess?”
Zhao Yue lowered his gaze and remained silent. After a long while, he gave a faint smile. “I don’t know if she would save me, but you can try.”
Gu Chusheng tried.
He sent someone to contact the Eldest Princess and received a reply. She had arranged for people in the palace, and all he had to do was extract his family from the affair, stage a “death” for Zhao Yue, and reassure Emperor Chunde.
He personally took up his sword and escorted his father into the palace. He reported his father’s crimes and, to demonstrate his loyalty, even executed his father with his own hands.
Emperor Chunde watched him kneel on the ground, hands stained with blood, and finally felt at ease. He sighed and said, “Rare for one so young to show such loyalty. Very well, I shall spare your family. Though the death penalty is waived, you cannot escape punishment. Aren’t you supposed to enter the palace this year as the Crown Prince’s study companion? Never mind—go to Kunyang instead. Start as a county magistrate. It will be a tempering experience for you.”
He expressed profuse gratitude. When he stepped out of the palace gates, he dared not wash his hands. Hiding his bloodied hands in his sleeves, he had no idea where to go.
He drifted like a lost soul, with no place in this world to call home. Guided by instinct, he wandered until he realized he had stopped in the alley leading to the Chu residence.He didn't know whether he had come looking for Chu Jin or Chu Yu. He simply stood blankly in that alley, then saw two young gentlemen.
One appeared to be around twenty-three or twenty-four, while the other was only thirteen or fourteen. The elder wore plain robes and a Jade Crown upon his head, while the younger was dressed in black martial attire, his hair tied high with a ribbon, two strands falling beside his temples, revealing an exquisitely shaped widow's peak.
The youth was climbing over a wall, while the young man watched with an amused smile. When Gu Chusheng saw them, he froze momentarily before understanding dawned on him.
He didn't recognize the younger one, but he knew the elder.
The Wei heir, Wei Jun.
Since Wei Jun was here, the youth naturally had to be his biological younger brother, Wei Yu.
He silently observed them, watching their movements, and quickly understood what was happening.
Chu Yu was to marry next year - it was only natural for the Wei heir to want to see what his bride-to-be, whom he had waited for so many years, looked like.
Yet an inexplicable fire burned in his heart. With his hands tucked in his sleeves, he coldly watched the two brothers and said in a suppressed voice, "Heir Wei, leading your brother to do such things in the dead of night seems rather improper, doesn't it?"
Hearing this, Wei Yu felt both guilty and annoyed. Wei Jun remained silent for a moment before smiling awkwardly and saying to Wei Yu, "Xiao Qi, I told you not to be so mischievous. When will you ever break this habit of casually climbing walls? Come down now, I'll take you home."
Wei Yu: "..."
The words were spoken with straightforward sincerity. Wei Jun turned to Gu Chusheng, bowed, and said, "My younger brother has this habit of nighttime wall-climbing. I merely chased him here and hadn't had time to stop him yet. I'm afraid we've given you a laughable spectacle, Young Master Gu."
Gu Chusheng didn't respond, his gaze cold as water.
Wei Jun paid him no mind, beckoned with his hand, and Wei Yu jumped down. Wei Jun cupped his hands and said, "We take our leave," then led Wei Yu away as they turned to depart.
Gu Chusheng quietly watched their retreating figures, feeling the sticky blood on his hands.
Why?
He thought.
Why do they live so easily, getting everything they want, while I lose everything?
The Gu family had fallen, his father was gone - he had personally executed his father himself. He had nothing left. Chu Jin wouldn't marry him; he knew this woman too well. And Chu Yu...
His heart suddenly clenched violently.
Chu Yu wasn't his.
She was Wei Jun's wife, not his.
【5】
Gu Chusheng didn't leave his home for an entire year.
His father was already gone, yet Emperor Chunde kept it secret, pretending to interrogate everyone while the entire court lived in fear. He hid in his room, doing nothing but reading, painting, and drinking.
He felt his life was probably ruined.
He knew that with effort he could make a comeback, but what would that accomplish? Could he ever compare to Wei Jun?
He drowned his sorrows in drink daily. With no father to restrain him and being the head of the household now, no one dared say anything to him.
After a year, when the mourning period ended, it was time for him to take up his post in Kunyang. At this time, Chu Yu turned fifteen, and her wedding date with the Wei family was set.
He subconsciously avoided news of Chu Yu's wedding date. Just before leaving Huajing for the west, Chu Jin came to see him.
"Brother Chusheng," she pleaded through tears, "Please call off the engagement. My sister likes you - I can't do something that would betray my sister."
His expression remained calm as he listened to Chu Jin's weeping. Though her voice sounded pitiful and vulnerable, his heart remained completely unmoved.He understood Chu Jin's temperament all too well, and couldn't help but laugh. "Actually, it's not that your sister likes me—it's that you don't want to go to Kunyang with me, is it?"
Chu Jin froze momentarily. Gu Chusheng watched her dazed expression; she resembled a delicate flower, one that seemed destined to be nurtured in opulent halls, cared for in the most exquisite porcelain.
She came to break off the engagement, delivering a verdict on every outcome of his current life—he, Gu Chusheng, was unworthy of her.
She was as clear-headed, as selfish, and as coldly sharp-tongued as he was.
He watched her quietly, recalling how she had called him "Brother Chusheng" in her youth. He laughed mockingly, "I won't break off the engagement."
"But, A Jin," he raised his hand to cover her face, his expression calm, "if you follow me, you won't regret it."
Hearing this, Chu Jin screamed in fury. She questioned him—Gu Chusheng, are you worthy? Look at yourself, are you worthy of me?!
He said nothing, the hand holding the teacup trembling slightly.
After Chu Jin left, for reasons unknown, on the eve of his departure from Huajing, Chu Yu suddenly sent him a letter, saying she would accompany him to Kunyang.
He thought the girl must be mad, yet in that moment of reading the letter, a trace of tenderness stirred within him. In truth, Chu Yu accompanying him to Kunyang was both a good and a bad thing for him.
The good was that, given Chu Yu's status and abilities, she would likely offer him much assistance. The bad was that, considering the Wei family's standing, they would likely not tolerate such a humiliation, nor would they tolerate him.
But the Wei family's principles would prevent them from acting too outrageously. No matter how he looked at it, this was a no-lose situation.
He ought to have accepted the letter, yet as he gazed at the handwriting and thought of the girl galloping on horseback and drinking freely, he suddenly laughed.
"Tell her not to come."
He spoke softly to his servant, "She should marry Wei Jun properly. I don't like her. Tell her not to come."
【6】
Yet she came anyway.
She traveled day and night, galloping on horseback, using her sword to lift the curtain of his carriage, revealing her radiant face.
He couldn't quite describe what he felt in that moment, only that it seemed as if light had flooded the earth, yet for someone who had been in darkness for so long, it felt somewhat unsettling and fearful.
So he softly scolded, "What are you doing here?"
"To accompany you," the girl said with a smile, then grew serious, quietly watching him. "Gu Chusheng, from now on, I'll be with you. Don't be afraid."
The young man said nothing, his hands hidden in his sleeves gripping the fabric on his knees tightly. He stared at her, not daring to speak, afraid that if he did, his hoarse voice would betray his heart.
Seeing his silence, Chu Yu smiled. She lowered the curtain and called out to the people she had brought, raising her voice, "Let's go!"
She kept her word. She truly abandoned her engagement, gave up Wei Jun, and traveled a thousand miles to be with him.
In the darkness, he watched the girl's face, completely unaware of what had happened. But what he did know was that on that night, when she grew tired, hugged her sword, and leaned against his shoulder to sleep, he suddenly felt that one day he would return.
One day, he would go back to Huajing, avenge his family, become stronger than Wei Jun and Wei Yu, stand above ten thousand others, and...
become worthy of her.
But at that time, he still didn't truly understand his own heart. He only felt that the night wind was a bit cold. He raised his hand, drew her into his embrace, and draped his sleeve over her.
Chu Yu had betrayed her engagement to the Wei family, so there was no going back for her. If he didn't take her, she would have nowhere to go. And so, he married her.He kept telling himself it was to repay her kindness, to prevent her from returning and becoming a laughingstock. However, when he heard that the Wei family had gone to the battlefield, with the frontlines near White City not far from Kunyang, and that Chu Yu had volunteered to help escort the provisions, he pursed his lips and said to her, "Let's get married first. It's improper for a young lady like you to do such things. After we're married, I'll accompany you."
Chu Yu abruptly turned around, her face filled with delight, as if sprinkled with starlight.
It was a very simple wedding, with no one else present. They bowed to heaven and earth themselves, and that was it.
That night, he was very clumsy, and Chu Yu, being straightforward, even teased him about it. He grew annoyed, turning his back to her without speaking, and she lowered her voice to coax him. Frustrated and helpless, when he finally held her in his arms, he suddenly felt that a lifetime like this might not be so bad.
At that time, he thought life was sweet and everything was going well, until news of the Wei family's defeat arrived.
The entire Wei family, except for Wei Yu, had died in battle at White Emperor Valley.
He hadn't intended to tell Chu Yu, but she still overheard the news. That night, she didn't return to their room. She stood in the courtyard, sleepless the entire night.
He draped a coat over his shoulders and stood in the corridor, sneering, "What are you doing? It's not your husband who died. Why put on such an act?"
"I failed him."
Chu Yu closed her eyes, her voice choked with tears. "Young Master Wei, I wronged him."
Hearing this, he flared up in an instant.
He recalled the smiling face of that young man under the moonlight, the glory that Wei Jun had carried. This man had lived with brilliance and died with honor. He knew very well that Chu Yu had never met him—if she had, she might not have come to Kunyang to find him.
If she hadn't come to find him...
So what?
He told himself that whether Chu Yu liked him or not was irrelevant, it didn't matter. He didn't care, he wasn't bothered, it was fine!
Yet he still felt a tightness in his chest. The despair and humiliation he had felt in Huajing enveloped him once more. Unable to restrain himself, he rushed over, grabbed her, and said, "Go back inside! What does he have to do with you? How did you fail him?! I am your husband—go back!"
She didn't move. He pulled at her, and in their struggle, Chu Yu suddenly shook off his hand and shouted, "What are you doing?!"
He was merely a scholar, and even with some rudimentary martial skills, when Chu Yu used her real abilities, he was no match for her.
She threw him to the ground, and he crashed against the door, gasping in pain. Chu Yu froze in place, and Gu Chusheng panted slightly. She seemed at a loss. "I'm sorry... I..."
"Why are you apologizing?"
Gu Chusheng let out a cold laugh. Clenching his fists, overwhelmed by immense humiliation, he pushed himself up and sneered, "Go on, mourn your fiancé who died at White Emperor Valley. If you miss him too much, I'll give you a letter of divorce. You can even marry him in the afterlife—it's not impossible."
Hearing this, Chu Yu's face turned deathly pale. Seeing her finally change expression, Gu Chusheng felt a flicker of satisfaction. He turned around and went back to the room alone.
Only when he was by himself did he realize what he had done.
Why was he so anxious? Why had he lost his composure like that over Chu Yu?
Panic washed over him, seemingly pointing to one answer. This answer terrified him, and he couldn't help but overturn the table, stumbling back until he hit the wall.
He didn't like Chu Yu.He thought that in this lifetime, he would never love anyone.
【7】
His interactions with Chu Yu had always been like daggers drawn against each other.
Both were hot-tempered youths—Chu Yu could never out-argue him, and he could never overpower her in a fight.
That was the most destitute period of his life. He relied entirely on Chu Yu, who had witnessed every humiliating moment of his life—bowing and scraping, enduring insults—all of which were commonplace.
He had wept alone in the night, only for Chu Yu to force open the door, hold him in her arms, and let him sob unrestrained.
He had once offended a local gentry and was forced to kneel and apologize, but Chu Yu stormed into the estate, fought until she was covered in blood, refusing to kneel even with a long sword in hand, and told him—"Gu Chusheng, stand up."
Chu Yu scolded him for being spineless; he resented her for causing trouble and lacking tact.
They quarreled incessantly yet depended on each other. She would shed blood and sacrifice her life for him; he would stop at nothing for her. They escorted provisions together, traversed the Northern Di together. When the weather turned cold, knowing she feared the chill, he would give her more of the blanket and hold her close.
She always refused, and he would snap, "Do you have even a shred of femininity?"
Looking back on those times, he realized that despite their arguments, they were deeply in love. When he, as an imperial envoy, was hunted down, she carried him on her back and ran, laughing as she said, "See? You still need to rely on me, don’t you?"
He would curse fiercely, "Get lost."
She stayed with him in the north for five years, helping him rise steadily in rank. After Wei Ju pacified the north, he finally returned to Huajing, appointed as Minister of Revenue.
By then, they had been married for nearly five years, yet she had never borne a child. Others secretly mocked Gu Chusheng, saying he was infertile. Enraged, he overturned a colleague’s table at a banquet, becoming the laughingstock of Huajing.
She remained oblivious, cheerfully taking her medicine daily and wrestling with others at the training grounds, bearing no resemblance to the proper Lady Gu.
He sought physicians far and wide for her, until one finally explained: her martial arts practice followed an extremely yin path. While this wasn’t inherently problematic, years of accumulated injuries had damaged her foundation, leaving her constitution cold. Combined with her martial arts style, conception became difficult, and prolonged imbalance of yin and yang would likely lead to recurring illnesses.
Hearing this, he hesitated repeatedly before finally telling her, "You should abandon your martial arts."
She stared blankly for a moment, then retorted, "You’re insane."
"Can’t you let me go my whole life without a child?" he finally lost patience, shouting, "You’re the Minister’s wife now—what use do you have for these skills?! Do you think I can’t protect you, or do you not want my protection? The entire capital mocks me—have you ever considered my feelings?!"
Chu Yu fell silent, her back turned to him. She sensed the sorrow in his words. After a long pause, she said slowly, "I just think... everyone should have their own life."
Her words wounded him. He didn’t know why, but hearing them filled him with dread. Coldly, he replied, "You don’t need your own life. You only need to be a proper Lady Gu."
She remained silent, fueling his panic. Unable to restrain himself, he added, "If you won’t do it, someone else will."
"Then let them try!"
Chu Yu’s voice sharpened as she whirled around, hand on the hilt of her waist saber, her tone icy. "I’d like to see who dares!""Alright," Gu Chusheng nodded. "Just you wait. What do you think you are? Do you really believe you're the only woman in this Gu Manor?!"
After saying this, he stormed out, wandering aimlessly through the capital until he encountered Chu Jin.
Chu Jin was dressed in women's attire, a silver hairpin adorning her head. Over all these years, she seemed unchanged. She turned to him and called out, "Brother Chusheng."
That address jolted him awake. For the first time, he realized he had truly returned.
Gu Chusheng had finally crawled out of the mud. He finally had the ability to reclaim that delicate flower.
Chu Jin was like an obsession that had haunted him his entire life. He smiled faintly, his mind made up.
【8】
He decided to marry Chu Jin. This time, Chu Jin did not resist; instead, she even flattered him deliberately.
Compared to Chu Yu's fiery temperament, the gentle and amiable Chu Jin was the perfect soothing presence. He enjoyed chatting with Chu Jin and began to relish life outside.
Betrothal gifts, name inquiries, divination, bride price, setting the wedding date...
He did everything behind Chu Yu's back. On the day the wedding date was finalized, Chu Yu suddenly returned home, her face pale. They hadn't spoken in a long time. He thought she had found out about his plans to marry Chu Jin, but instead, she unexpectedly said to him, "Chusheng, let's reconcile."
Gu Chusheng was slightly taken aback. Chu Yu stepped forward, embraced him, and whispered, "I heard what they said about you. It's my fault. I've asked my master to nullify my martial arts. Chusheng, I will be a proper Madam Gu. I won't let anyone laugh at you again."
Gu Chusheng remained silent for a long while before he held her and slowly said, "Don't be afraid." He didn't know what else to say, merely holding her cold body and speaking hoarsely, "From now on, I will protect you."
He postponed the wedding date, and everything seemed as if it had never happened.
Chu Jin did not press him; she even waited leisurely. He asked Chu Jin, "Where do you get such confidence?" Chu Jin smiled faintly. "Brother Chusheng, that's a strange question. Isn't this confidence something you gave me?"
"Everything you want, brother," she placed her hand on his chest, her expression gentle, "have you ever failed to obtain it? It's just a moment of pity—can it last a lifetime? Sister is your wife. Even if I enter the household, she won't do anything. After all, she likes you, doesn't she?"
She liked him, so she would tolerate him. If she didn't tolerate him, it meant she didn't like him enough.
He didn't know when it started, but this became his consistent logic. He was always testing her feelings for him, over and over again.
So he took her hand and nodded. "You're right."
He and Chu Yu spent a period akin to newlyweds. Chu Yu regained her health and finally became pregnant.
At that time, Chu Yu was overjoyed. She no longer provoked him and happily responded to whatever he said. He couldn't bring himself to speak harshly to her.
Watching her make clothes for the child, seeing her clumsy yet gentle demeanor, his heart felt filled with something. Sometimes, the two of them tried making clothes for the child together, but neither of them knew how to sew, and neither could do it well.
As Chu Yu's belly grew day by day, he forgot everything else, wholeheartedly awaiting the birth of this child.His joy infected everyone; all the court officials congratulated him, except for Wei Yu. One day, while he was chatting with other colleagues about fatherhood, Wei Yu passed by and calmly remarked, "How could a despicable man be worthy of being a father?"
These words chilled his expression. He stared at Wei Yu and said calmly, "What does Marquis Wei mean by that?"
"Your wife is pregnant at home, yet you still have a mistress outside," Wei Yu said with a hint of mockery in his eyes. "I wonder if Lady Gu would regret it if she knew—regret traveling all those miles back then to save such an ungrateful wretch."
Hearing this, Gu Chusheng’s face changed dramatically.
What he hated most in his life was anyone bringing up how Chu Yu had eloped to save him back then.
He curled his lips into a sarcastic smile and retorted, "Wasn’t she the one who abandoned your brother to come? If Young Master Wei couldn’t keep her, how is that my fault?"
"My brother couldn’t keep her?" Wei Yu lifted his eyes, his expression so indifferent it seemed he couldn’t even be bothered to look at him. "If you ever let Chu Yu see my brother just once, would she still go looking for a scoundrel like you?"
Wei Yu then let out a cold laugh. "She must have been blind."
These words left Gu Chusheng almost breathless. Just as he was about to say something, a servant rushed over and told him that Chu Yu had gone into premature labor.
He hurried home in a panic, listening to Chu Yu’s cries from inside the room. Anxiously pacing back and forth, he scolded the servants, "How could you let this happen to my wife?! How did you take care of her?!"
"My lord," the steward finally spoke up softly, "the lady found out about Lady Jin."
Hearing this, Gu Chusheng’s mind went blank.
He opened his mouth but couldn’t utter a single word.
【9】
After Chu Yu gave birth, he went to see her.
She was very weak, so he stood by her bedside, not daring to speak. After a long while, he finally sat down beside her, took her hand, and whispered, "You’ve worked hard."
Chu Yu opened her eyes wearily. Her gaze was cold as she said, "Let go."
"It’s alright," he forced a smile, "I’ll stay with you."
"Dirty," she uttered another word. Gu Chusheng shook his head and said gently, "I don’t think you’re dirty."
Chu Yu looked at him quietly. After a long silence, she finally explained.
"You are dirty."
Gu Chusheng’s smile froze.
He stared at Chu Yu, whose eyes held unconcealed disgust. He remained silent for a moment, something surging within him.
Suddenly, he laughed.
"Do you regret it?" he asked her.
She closed her eyes, her expression weary. He laughed again, "You regret it, don’t you? You shouldn’t have chosen me back then, shouldn’t have been with me. You should have married Wei Jun, or even Wei Yu—anyone would have been better."
"But he’s dead!" Gu Chusheng stood up, laughing wildly. "He’s dead! You have no way out, Chu Yu. In this lifetime, you’re destined to be with me. Do you understand?!"
Chu Yu didn’t speak. Her eyes trembled, tears welling up, making her look utterly pitiful.
He felt as though those tears were carving into his heart, bringing him both pain and despair, yet mixed with a strange sense of delight. It was only through this self-inflicted torment that he felt Chu Yu was responding to him.
"If... you like Chu Jin," she said hoarsely, "then why... did you marry me?"
"If... you want to marry her," each word was choked with tears, "then why... won’t you let me go?"
Let her go.
Of course, he would never let her go.A monstrous beast seemed to roar in his mind—why should he let her go?
She had married him, carried his child. In this life and the next, she would always be his wife, Gu Chusheng's spouse.
Yet he refused to voice these thoughts, fearing they would expose the wretchedness in his heart.
So he spoke calmly, "Wasn't this what you begged for?"
"Chu Yu," he said indifferently, "you will remain Madame Gu for life. I will take care of you forever."
Chu Yu didn't respond. She let out a low laugh. "Madame Gu?" Suddenly, she snapped her eyes open and with all her strength, hurled the cup beside her at him, roaring, "I don't want it!"
The cup struck him, drawing blood, much like their relationship.
Both of them struggled until they were drenched in blood. He couldn't even pinpoint where it had all gone wrong.
【10】
He married Chu Jin. Initially, she was to be an equal wife, but in the end, she remained only a noble concubine.
Chu Jin smiled and told him, "It doesn't matter if I'm a noble concubine, as long as I manage the household."
So he went to ask Chu Yu if she was willing to hand over the household authority. At the time, he thought if she would just yield a little, it would be enough.
But she didn't. Holding their child, she directly instructed Changyue, "Hand over all the account books and keys."
She didn't even glance at him.
After the child was born, she never spoke to him again. Unless absolutely necessary, she wouldn't even appear in the same place as him. He could clearly sense her deep-seated disgust. He even felt that in Chu Yu's life, only that child mattered—he was insignificant.
He wanted her to talk to him, so he constantly provoked her. He forced her to give up the master bedroom to Chu Jin and reprimanded her in front of the servants. She rarely paid him any mind, except when it concerned their child. Yet her retaliation was always ruthless and venomous. She knew all about his past, all his humiliations, and would openly recount those shameful memories in front of others, watching him seethe with anger as if it brought her joy.
And so, they hurt each other relentlessly, but unlike in their youth, there was no room for healing.
One night, drunk and missing her terribly, he sneaked in to see her. He found her holding their child, gentle and content.
"Yanqing," she said, "from now on, it'll be just you and me, a family of our own. We won't need anyone else, alright?"
The child giggled, while he felt as if he had fallen into an icy abyss.
No one else? Did that mean she didn't want him either?
Suddenly, he hated that child. It felt as if the child had stolen everything from him. In a frenzy, he rushed over and snatched the child away.
"Chu Jin needs a child," he said calmly. "Let her raise it."
Finally, she reacted. She lunged at him like a madwoman. He had the servants restrain her and took the child away.
He handed the child to Chu Jin. When he woke the next day, he felt exhausted. Suddenly, he no longer wanted to bother with her, so he stopped interfering in her affairs. He thought this was how they would spend the rest of their lives—until Changyue was punished.
She knelt before him, weeping uncontrollably. Finally, she was begging him.
But what she begged for was a letter of divorce.
After all this turmoil, all these years, she was finally leaving him—for a servant.
He couldn't help but laugh in anger. He wanted to ask her: What did he mean to her? How much was he worth? Was a mere servant enough to make her want to leave him?He wanted to teach her a lesson, but who would have thought that servant would end up dead.
When he learned of Changyue's death, he felt a moment of panic. He hurried to Chu Yu's room and found her kneeling on the floor, holding a sword in her arms.
Her expression was vacant, tinged with lifelessness. Standing at the doorway, he cautiously called out to her.
"Madam."
Chu Yu didn't respond. After a long while, she lowered her head, stroked the sword, and said calmly.
"My lord," she said, "I've received a letter from Qianyang. My mother is unwell and needs someone to care for her. I should go."
Gu Chusheng was momentarily stunned. He couldn't find any words to say. After a long while, he finally replied—Alright.
【11】
She left.
He thought, perhaps this wasn't so bad. After being entangled for so long, he was tired anyway.
After all... he didn't like her.
An irrelevant person leaving was just that—someone leaving.
Yet he couldn't help thinking that if she begged to return, then she could come back.
She was, after all, Yanqing's mother, his wife.
He kept waiting for her to plead to return, but in Qianyang, she seemed to have vanished.
She never sent him a single letter.
Her husband, her child—it was as if they no longer had any connection to her.
At first, he felt anger, but eventually that anger turned to coldness, and he remained locked in a stalemate with her.
After many years of this standoff, she finally sent him a letter. It was mixed among numerous other letters, and no one specifically brought it to his attention. By the time he saw it, much time had passed. In it, she requested to return, saying she wanted to see her father.
He laughed when he read those words.
Not her husband, not her child—only concerned about her father?
So he refused her.
He waited for her to give the right answer.
But after a long time, he finally received another letter from her.
"I am gravely ill, nearing my end. My only wish is to see my parents once more to fulfill my final desire. I beg you to remember our past affection and cease your obstruction."
Reading this letter, he wondered what scheme Chu Yu was playing this time.
Yet he clearly knew that what Chu Yu said might be true.
If she weren't seriously ill, given her temperament, if she wanted to see someone, she would likely just come—why would she need his permission?
He prepared horses overnight and submitted a memorial to the palace. Chu Jin brought Yanqing over and asked, "My lord, has something happened?"
Gu Chusheng said coldly, "Chu Yu is ill. She says she wants to see her family. I'm bringing her back."
Chu Jin was taken aback. After a moment, she lowered her eyes and said, "Let me go."
"What are you trying to do now?"
He frowned. This time, Chu Jin lost her smile. She raised her hand to smooth her hair and said calmly, "If she cannot make it back to Huajing, she should at least see her family."
Gu Chusheng said nothing. In the end, he agreed.
He traveled day and night without rest. Upon arriving at the residence, he went to change his clothes first. But in that brief moment while he was changing, she passed away.
When he arrived, all he received from her was one sentence: If I am reborn, I wish to have no further entanglements with you.
Trembling, he held her tightly in his arms, clutching her desperately.
【12】
Many things are only recognized as important when they are lost.
Many people are only realized to be loved when they leave.
After she was gone, he spent twenty years gradually admitting one thing—that he loved her.
In the end, for the sake of her marriage contract with the Wei family, he died under Wei Jin's sword.
Then he was reborn. He thought he would start over with Chu Yu, but never imagined that those who are missed are missed forever.
He hated, despaired, and resorted to any means necessary, but in the end, he finally understood that love is, after all, a one-sided matter.
He bore all the infamy for Wei Jin, becoming the traitorous minister.
After the Chu army achieved a great victory, he was imprisoned by the court officials.
He should have died, but Wei Jin, the Eldest Princess, and others strongly defended him, allowing him to remain as prime minister.
At first, the world was full of condemnation, but gradually, the voices faded.He dedicated his entire life to the nation and its people—never marrying, never taking a concubine, and never indulging in romantic affairs.
Even though he was vilified throughout his life, and history books recorded him with the indelible stain of a traitor, most of the common people of his time still held him in deep respect.
For it was he who opened the city gates and saved the lives of millions in Huajing—a truth the people understood better than anyone.
The rain gradually subsided. After speaking with Gu Yanqing, he felt weary.
He returned to his bed and lay down to sleep. Gu Yanqing carried the medicine bowl out, where his wife stood waiting at the door. Seeing him emerge, she couldn’t help but sigh and ask, "Did your father talk to you again about that imaginary wife of his?"
Gu Yanqing nodded, a trace of helplessness in his voice. "Old age has muddled his memory. Back then, he climbed up from Kunyang all on his own—how could there have been any wife helping him? My father... who knows when he’ll come to his senses?"
Lying in bed, Gu Chusheng overheard his son’s words and couldn’t help but smile faintly.
They all thought he was confused, but he knew very well—he wasn’t confused at all.
He remembered clearly.
He loved that person, his wife, who lived on in his mind and in his heart, for a lifetime.
You see, even now, he could still vividly recall—
That girl riding up on horseback, lifting the curtain of his carriage in the night rain, her voice clear and bright as she declared, "Gu Chusheng, don’t be afraid. I’ve come to escort you."
In this life, he had loved the common people, the majestic mountains and rivers, the vast lands and towering peaks of Great Chu.
But what he loved most was that girl.
All his life, he had been conflicted, restless, torn between insecurity and pride, anxiety and persistence. It took him a lifetime to finally admit—
He loved her, and her alone.
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