Chapter Sixty-Nine
To live on, everyone must pay a price. But what exactly is that price? If it’s paid by oneself, it’s bearable. But if it’s paid by others, it becomes a tragedy.
Feng Suige took the Porcelain Cup containing ginseng tea from the tray held by the maid and gently placed it on the table. It had been two days since they returned from the competition grounds, and Yixiao had shut herself in her room the entire time. When exhaustion overwhelmed her, she would doze off briefly, only to wake up startled soon after. Even when awake, she remained silent, standing by the window.
"Some leads have already been uncovered. It’s only a matter of time before the truth comes to light. You must take care of your health—don’t fall ill before then."
"Don’t worry," Yixiao replied softly without turning around. "I won’t collapse before that person does."
Feng Suige continued, "To avoid suspicion, Marquis Jianxin has voluntarily isolated himself from his subordinates. His daily needs are now being attended to by my people."
"You know it’s not him," Yixiao said slowly, finally turning to look at him. "Do you really want me to say it outright?!"
"If you could say it, I’d actually feel more at ease," Feng Suige replied gently, brushing his fingertips against the faint shadows under her eyes. "Even crying would be better."
Yixiao froze for a moment, then slightly avoided his touch. His hand hung stiffly in the air. After a long pause, he gave a bitter smile. "Do you resent me?"
"To say I don’t resent you at all would be hypocritical," Yixiao fell silent for a while before meeting his gaze. "But I resent myself more. Those people wanted to kill me—it was me who dragged Guyu into this." Her voice suddenly choked up. "Even now, I don’t understand why he would risk his life to protect me like that!"
"Don’t talk nonsense," Feng Suige exhaled deeply and pulled her into his embrace. "Remember that time you ran away in anger? Later, I asked him—how does he distinguish between good and bad people? Do you know what he said? He said, ‘Those who are truly kind to me and care for me are good people. Those who aren’t kind to me and bully me are all bad people.’"
Yixiao leaned against his chest, listening quietly as his breath brushed her forehead. "Guyu’s intellect may not match that of ordinary people, but he sees everyone around him with his heart. So, don’t doubt Guyu—and don’t doubt yourself."
After a long while, Yixiao suddenly smiled and pulled away from his chest. A fierce determination flashed in her eyes. "The one who wants me dead has already made a fatal mistake. They sent mediocre assassins, not dead-set killers. So, from the very beginning, their plan was doomed to fail. Will you teach me how to better protect myself in this treacherous imperial court—even how to fight back?"
"Of course," Feng Suige gently caressed her cheek. "I’d love to promise that I’ll protect you forever, that I’ll never let you come to harm. But right now, there are many things I can neither change nor undo. So all I can promise is to do everything in my power to protect you and provide you with all I have to offer. This is all I can do for you at the moment, Yixiao. I’m sorry—I can’t make a promise I can’t keep. But I truly wish to give you happiness. Do you understand? So, if you truly understand me, promise me one thing—no matter what happens, cherish your life and do everything you can to survive. Promise me you won’t die before I do."
Yixiao listened quietly, then nodded slightly. "I promise."Feng Qishan paced angrily in the side hall, while a visibly nervous Consort Zhuang stood nearby, hesitating several times before finally calling out softly, "Lord of the Nation—" "Silence!" Feng Qishan roared. "It was you who personally assured me everything would be handled flawlessly. And now?!"
"This concubine never imagined Father and Elder Brother would fail," Consort Zhuang pouted resentfully. "Besides, if not for those two fire arrows..." "Enough," Feng Qishan interrupted decisively, flicking his sleeve as if making up his mind. "What's done is done. I refuse to believe they can overturn the heavens right under my nose!" "Yes, yes," Consort Zhuang quickly agreed with a bright smile. "After all, the Phoenix Prince is still just an Imperial Son. It's that Fu Yixiao who—"
"Her?" Feng Qishan snorted coldly. "Taking her life would be as easy as turning over my hand. I've only spared her this long out of consideration for Sui Ge and Xiyang." "To this concubine, that Fu Yixiao is just an ignorant country girl who doesn't know her place," Consort Zhuang said with a venomous smile. "Her heart belongs entirely to the King Who Pacifies the South, Xia Jingshi. And what the Prince has always resented most is precisely that name—Xia Jingshi..."
After a long journey, they finally reached Brocade Imperial City. Gazing at the distant dark gray city walls, Feng Xiyang sighed—she had returned here. Years had passed since her last departure, but now she came back with a completely different identity and state of mind.
Xia Jingshi had deliberately avoided her the entire way, while Xueying had never returned after leaving her carriage that day.
That night, she drank herself into a stupor. In her drunken haze, she vaguely sang a little tune she couldn't remember where or when she'd heard: "Love, knows not its origin, yet plunges ever deeper. Today the dust clears and light emerges, carrying all lovesickness through..." In her daze, she heard her own voice low and hoarse.
Plunging ever deeper—as deep as the long dreams in those endless nights, with no end in sight.
That night, she was truly drunk—so drunk she forgot everything. When she awoke with a splitting headache, there was no caring hand to offer her a cup of hot tea.
She once secretly asked a disfavored concubine in Su Sha's harem, "Are you in great pain?" To her surprise, the concubine smiled and replied, "Loving someone doesn't bring pain." Curious, she pressed further, "Do you love Father?" The concubine answered, "Of course. Because of that love, behind the prolonged pain lies hidden an equal measure of joy."
But why did she only feel pain, without any joy?
Now she felt like a traveler on a long journey, chasing after a speck of starlight—hungry, thirsty, exhausted, stumbling through the darkness, ready to collapse at any moment into eternal sleep.
Why had she wanted to chase it in the first place? Had she known the light on the horizon was just a mirage, would she have given up or continued? And why, when standing within reach of that light, could she do nothing at all...?
In truth, just one word from him would have been enough for her to choose to believe him unconditionally—regardless of any evidence before her eyes, even to the point of self-deception. But unfortunately, he never lied.
This was the man who had destroyed years of her hopes and ruined her entire life.How ironic. No matter what she did, this man remained unmoved, his heart like an impenetrable fortress—no, wait, he did have a chink in his armor...
Must she really snuff out this light with her own hands...
Was she not afraid of being plunged into eternal darkness from then on...
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