Chapter Forty-Eight
Feng Suige took another step closer. “I’ve already summoned the matron who pierces ears to the manor, and now you’re telling me you won’t go?” Yixiao immediately pointed at Qin Yi, who was watching from the side. “Xiao Yi doesn’t have hers pierced either!” Qin Yi hastily covered her ears and protested, “I haven’t had my coming-of-age ceremony yet—it’s normal that I don’t!”
“Xiao Yi,” Feng Suige suddenly shifted his focus. “Do you like white jade earrings?” Qin Yi hesitated before lowering her hands. “I do.” “If she still refuses to pierce her ears,” Feng Suige shot a glance at Yixiao, “when your ceremony comes, I’ll give you her favorite pair of earrings—” Before he could finish, Yixiao triumphantly pulled out the very same pair from her sleeve and waved them at him. “As long as I keep them on me, you won’t get them!”
Qin Yi clapped her hands and laughed. “But Sister has to take them off when she sleeps at night, right? Then Feng-gege can just take them then!” Yixiao’s smile froze, and she shot Feng Suige an awkward look. “Xiao Yi!” Feng Suige scolded lightly. “Who taught you to say such things? That’s completely improper!”
Qin Yi stuck out her tongue guiltily. “I was just joking—please don’t tell Grandfather! Um, Grandfather has tasks for me today, so I’ll be going now!” With that, she bowed and scampered off.
An uncomfortable silence settled between them. Feng Suige slowly walked up to Yixiao and called her name softly, his voice so gentle it made her scalp tingle. “Yixiao.” She mumbled a vague response. “Mm, what is it?” Feng Suige paused for a long moment before sighing. “Don’t overthink things.”
Yixiao turned her face toward the blood-red roses swaying by the railing. “I’m not… You’ve been sleeping in the study lately, haven’t you?” “Do you care where I spend the night?” Feng Suige asked with a faint smirk. “No,” Yixiao replied, slightly unnerved. “You’ve already done so much for me. Honestly, you don’t need to accommodate me so often…”
“What are you trying to say?” Feng Suige’s expression gradually darkened. Yixiao glanced at him. “Can you not get angry and just let me finish?” Feng Suige clenched his jaw but nodded. Yixiao’s gaze drifted into the distance. “I don’t mean anything by it. I just want to say… don’t let me disrupt the life you originally had.”
“What do you take yourself for? And what do you take me for?” Feng Suige cut her off furiously. “Are you going to tell me again that this is just a game, that it has nothing to do with feelings?!” Before he could finish, Yixiao turned to leave without even looking at him. Feng Suige grabbed her arm after a few quick strides. “Explain yourself before you go!”
“Feng Suige,” Yixiao struggled but failed to break free, gritting her teeth. “Listen, if you don’t want a fight, let go of me right now.” “And you listen—you’re the only one who thinks I’m playing games with you. In this lifetime, even if you don’t have a heart, I’ll make you grow one!” Feng Suige roared.
Yixiao froze.
Seeing her pupils contract, Feng Suige’s heart lurched, and all his earlier fury dissipated instantly. “Yixiao,” his voice softened, even trembling slightly with panic. “That’s not what I meant. Look, I promised I wouldn’t force you. I just… I just…” He couldn’t find the right words, but his grip on her arm remained unyielding, refusing to loosen even slightly.Unexpectedly, Yixiao smiled faintly. "Actually, in terms of background alone, there's a world of difference between you and me. I don't consider myself particularly beautiful enough to attract you either. The only reason might be that I didn't fawn over you like other women—perhaps my unintentional uniqueness sparked your interest."
She raised her hand to cover Feng Suige's lips, preventing him from speaking. "Let me finish... This is the only reason I can think of for why you might love me. But I'm truly ordinary, not worth all this effort from you. Moreover, our temperaments are too similar. Every encounter between us is like a new collision. Once or twice might be fine, but how long could you tolerate me? Half a year? A year? It couldn't last too long."
"Yixiao, what exactly—do you want?" Finally pulling her hand down, Feng Suige, usually so carefree, couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this frustrated. "I don't want anything," Yixiao said calmly. "I once thought I could control my own fate, but in the end, I realized that life has always been about what demands of me, not what I demand of it. Only by wanting nothing can one lose nothing..."
Feng Suige gripped her hand tightly. "But now it's me who wants to give to you. Within my power, whatever I have that you like, take it freely." His voice carried restrained pain. "If you want the seas to run dry and the rocks to crumble, I'll give you eternity. If you want a fleeting brilliance, I'll perish with you. It's fine if you don't believe me now—I'll prove to you that I'm worthy of your trust. Not just this lifetime, but three lifetimes, even thirty lifetimes. I can prove it to you!"
She smiled slightly. "Between the temporary and the permanent, who can be completely certain until the moment arrives? All we can be sure of is the present—just this moment, or this instant. It's not that I don't believe you, but what I want... you truly can't give." Feng Suige's body tensed abruptly. "Are you saying you want me to set you free? Do you want to return to Xia Jingshi's side?"
"I've never thought of returning to His Highness," Yixiao replied simply and calmly. "As for freedom, I originally planned to wait until Princess Xiyang bore His Highness's child, until her relationship with him stabilized, before making the request to you or the Lord of the Nation." "I won't allow it," Feng Suige said sharply, his eyes flashing with intensity, enunciating each word. "Not even in death!"
"You know," Yixiao met his piercing gaze without flinching, "here, everyone smiles at me on the surface, but in their hearts, they're filled with jealousy and resentment. Every pair of smiling eyes feels like a thousand knives stabbing into me. I don't know if you've heard this saying: 'The outstanding tree in the forest is the one the wind will topple.' I understand this principle." She smiled at Feng Suige. "Actually, one question is enough to explain everything. You, the Imperial Son of Vermilion Sand Country, its future Lord—will you take a principal wife? Will you establish a queen? Will you, like all monarchs, have a harem of consorts?"
Each question struck him like a blow, leaving Feng Suige momentarily dazed as he stared at Fu Yixiao. Yes, he would.Yixiao didn’t wait for his answer—or perhaps she never intended to let him respond. “Setting aside the Lord of the Nation’s overt hostility toward me, just think of the powerful clans behind the future queen and concubines. There will certainly be no shortage of influential families. Yet I have no roots or backing in Su Sha, standing alone and vulnerable. Once my existence is seen as a threat to their positions, the noble families of Su Sha will turn against me, and I could easily be erased from this land without a trace. Yes, you hold the only formidable power I could borrow to protect myself. But can you guard me every moment? Or can you promise that you’ll still stand by me as firmly as you do now when that time comes? More than that… I’m not that magnanimous. All I want is to spend my days and nights with my husband. Ha—don’t even mention three palaces and six courts; I can’t accept even one.”
Though she tried hard to restrain herself, a glimmer of moisture still surfaced in Yixiao’s eyes. Unable to help herself, she clasped his hand and pressed her forehead against his shoulder. “I’m just an ordinary person. I’m not as strong as you think. All the toughness you’ve seen is just me protecting myself. I have to survive—because I want to leave this place, to live a happy life like any normal person. I want to visit my mother’s grave every year. I want to hold Xueying and Ning Fei’s child. I don’t want to stay here, waiting in the dark for others to plot against me. I don’t know what lies ahead, nor how many daggers will be aimed at my back… Tell me, what should I do to survive…?”
Feng Suige’s eyes also grew damp. Gently stroking Yixiao’s hair, he remained silent.
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