Chapter One Hundred Fourteen
Deep into the night, the forest clearing was dotted with soldiers dozing off in small clusters. Xia Jingshi had been conversing with the Brocade officers who had stayed behind as guards. Feng Xiyang lingered nearby for a while, clutching a felt blanket, before finally returning dejectedly to the campfire.
"Xiyang, come sit here," Feng Suige, seated beside Yixiao, beckoned with a smile, motioning for her to join them. "It must be exhausting since you’ve never marched with an army before." Feng Xiyang nodded, carefully spreading the blanket before settling down.
For a moment, the three of them sat in silence.
After a while, Yixiao stood up and stretched. "We still have a bit of time to rest. I’m going to lean against something over there. You two talk." Feng Suige gave a hum of acknowledgment and rose to take off his cloak, offering it to her. Yixiao didn’t reach for it, instead subtly gesturing toward Xiyang. Feng Suige paused in surprise, but Yixiao had already stuck out her tongue and scampered away. Left with no choice, he turned to Xiyang. "Xiyang, are you cold? This cloak—"
"Does Your Highness think I’ll take whatever she doesn’t want?" Xiyang retorted without turning around, her eyes brimming with tears. "In Your Highness’s eyes, Xiyang must be that kind of person, right?" Feng Suige sighed helplessly. "Xiyang, must you be so harsh?"
Feng Xiyang remained silent for a long time before murmuring through quiet sobs, "Your Highness, am I truly so detestable?" Feng Suige wrapped the cloak carefully around her and pulled her close, comforting her softly. "Of course not. You’re still unwell, and your emotions are just unstable. Once we settle down and you rest properly, you’ll feel better."
"I don’t know… I don’t understand…" Xiyang buried her face in Feng Suige’s lap, tears falling one by one, soaking his clothes. "I’ve tried so hard to please him, but the harder I try, the more distant he becomes… Why did everyone used to love me, but now…"
Feng Suige was silent for a moment before suddenly asking, "I once asked you why you loved him. Do you remember how you answered?" Xiyang choked back a sob. "Of course I remember. I said… because he’s Xia Jingshi." "And now?" Feng Suige patted her shoulder. "Is he no longer Xia Jingshi now?"
Xiyang stopped crying abruptly, slowly sitting up to stare blankly at the flickering flames.
Feng Suige leaned forward to toss a few branches into the fire before turning back to her. "Xiyang, let me ask you this—do you truly love Xia Jingshi?" Xiyang sat silently for a while before answering woodenly, "Of course. If I didn’t love him, why would I have married him?" Feng Suige shook his head. "That’s not what I mean. Do you understand him?" Xiyang hesitated, first nodding, then shaking her head, before hastily defending herself, "What does it matter if I don’t? Didn’t Your Highness also not understand Fu Yixiao at first? Yet you’re still together now, aren’t you?"
"True, I didn’t understand her at first. But people are different." At the mention of Yixiao, Feng Suige’s expression softened. "She’s simpler and more straightforward than Xia Jingshi. When you’re with her, you can clearly see her joys and sorrows. If you treat her poorly, she’ll return it in kind. If you treat her well, she’ll accept it and do her best to repay you…"Meeting Feng Xiyang's slightly annoyed gaze, Feng Suige offered an apologetic smile and steered the conversation back to Xia Jingshi. "Xia Jingshi is perhaps the most inscrutable person I've ever met. A man like him won't readily open his heart to you without years of companionship and understanding."
"What Fu Yixiao can do, I can do too!" Feng Xiyang couldn't help but exclaim in a low voice. "I'm not greedy—I just want to stay by his side, to hear him speak... or even if he doesn't speak, just being with him would make me happy..."
"Xiyang," Feng Suige sighed, "you can't. If you could, you wouldn't compare yourself to Yixiao, nor would you dislike her so much. Back in Su Sha, you were quite fond of her, weren't you?"
A night breeze swept by, making Feng Xiyang shiver. She instinctively tightened the cloak around her and buried half her face in its warm folds. "I admit I'm jealous. I don't want to be... but his life is filled with traces of Fu Yixiao everywhere. No matter what I do, I can't erase her presence!"
"That's exactly why I said you don't understand him," Feng Suige said pityingly, tucking the windblown strands of her hair behind her ear. "Though I don't understand why he pushed Yixiao out of his life with his own hands, I know he cherishes her more than anything. If I were you, I wouldn't think about how to drive Yixiao away. Instead, I'd consider how to coexist with her."
"Is that what you did, brother?" Xiyang asked faintly, as if snapping out of a daze. "When Fu Yixiao was pining for her husband, weren't you jealous or angry at all?"
"How could I not be?" Feng Suige chuckled softly. "Of course it bothered me. But then I thought—no matter what, in the end, she chose me between the two of us. That thought alone put my heart at ease."
"Brother," Feng Xiyang called out quietly. Feng Suige turned to her, only to be met with her resentful glare. "You won, so you can sit here smugly flaunting your victory to me... You think I deserve this, don't you? That I brought this upon myself? All you care about is how to justify Fu Yixiao's actions. You don't understand my pain at all!!!"
After venting her outburst, Feng Xiyang stood up and stumbled toward the woods. She hadn't run far before tripping and falling heavily to the ground. Struggling to sit up, the pain in her limbs and the overwhelming bitterness in her heart surged forth. She could no longer hold back her sobs, uncaring if she woke anyone nearby.
After only a few cries, her wrist was abruptly seized in a rough grip. Before she could react, she was yanked forcefully to her feet, startling her into silence.
It was Yixiao.
Frowning, Yixiao brushed the dirt off her clothes and scolded lightly, "Stand up properly! Rolling on the ground and throwing a tantrum in front of everyone—what kind of behavior is that for the dignified King Who Pacifies the South's consort?" Without waiting for Xiyang's response, Fu Yixiao straightened up, grabbed her arm, and strode toward the woods without looking back.
"Yixiao," Feng Suige called out worriedly, catching up to them. "What are you two doing?"
Yixiao didn't answer.Feng Suige stopped in his tracks and turned to look at Xia Jingshi, who was watching him with concern. Seeing Feng Suige turn back, Xia Jingshi slowly raised his right hand, made a fist, and lightly tapped his left chest.
After a brief hesitation, Feng Suige nodded and sat back down by the campfire.
He understood what Xia Jingshi meant.
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