In the eyes of the newly appointed Spirit Guards, Meishan Jun was a relatively steady and reliable master. Aside from the occasional eccentric episode—like getting drunk and tearfully calling out someone’s name—he was generally quite decent. At the very least, one could describe him as proud as a slender plum blossom.
By and large, Meishan was a master the new Spirit Guards could take pride in. Though Meishan Residence couldn’t compare to the grand sects, visitors came in an endless stream every day, mostly seeking his help in uncovering some secret or another.
Meishan Jun didn’t accept gold, silver, or jewels as payment. The only way visitors could win his assistance was by outdrinking him. Aside from having to drag out a pile of thoroughly intoxicated guests each day, life at Meishan Residence was peaceful and tranquil.
That peace and tranquility ended one evening.
It was a breathtaking dusk, with the forests ablaze in color and fiery clouds stretching across the sky. A massive, hideous pelican landed silently on the wooden bridge adorned with red and white flowers, startling the Spirit Guard on duty so badly his jaw nearly dropped.
A young woman hopped down from the pelican’s back, dressed in a light-purple silk skirt. Tall and graceful, with dignified beauty, she was an exceptionally stunning beauty. The gatekeeping Spirit Guards were replaced every year, so none of them recognized her. Seeing her smiling as she approached the gate, they had no choice but to stop her.
“It’s late, miss. If you have business, please return tomorrow.”
The beauty smiled faintly and handed over a large food box. “Then could you trouble yourself to deliver this to Lord Meishan? It’s been two or three years since I last visited the old man. The box contains mooncakes, zongzi, pastries, and buns to make up for those missing years. Tell him to take his time eating them—I’ll visit again when I have the chance.”
Two or three years? Could she be an old acquaintance of Meishan Jun’s?
The Spirit Guards didn’t dare neglect her. Someone immediately went inside to report. At the time, Meishan Jun had just finished a drinking contest with his last visitor and was refreshing himself with tea, instructing the Spirit Guards to toss the drunkard out.
“Useless lot,” he scoffed. “Can’t even handle two jars of wine and still dare to come begging for my help. Strip them naked and throw them out—teach them a lesson.”
Noticing the gatekeeping Spirit Guard standing dumbly at the door, clutching a massive food box, he frowned.
“Shouldn’t you be guarding the gate? What’s with that shabby box?”
He walked over and casually lifted the lid. Inside were neatly arranged rows of perfectly shaped buns and pastries. Grabbing a vegetable bun, he popped it into his mouth and grinned in delight. “Tastes great! Who sent this?”
“Oh, it was a beautiful woman. She said it’s been two or three years since she last saw you, so she’s making up for all the buns, zongzi, and mooncakes from those missing years…”
The half-eaten vegetable bun fell to the ground with a plop. Meishan Jun flailed in panic, his soul seemingly fleeing his body. He snatched the enormous food box, picked up the dropped bun, and—finding no place to put it—in his desperation, ended up balancing the box on his head. Then he sprinted to the gate without touching the ground.
In the glow of the setting sun, his beloved, long-unseen lady hadn’t left yet. Just like the first time she had visited Meishan Residence, she was leaning against the wooden bridge’s railing, watching the carp blow bubbles below.
Tears surged from Meishan Jun’s eyes like a tidal wave, instantly soaking his robes.
“Lord Meishan!”Xin Mei waved at him amiably, walking over with a beaming smile. She had matured considerably since her teenage years, no longer bouncing around, yet the carefree sweetness in her smile remained unchanged. No matter how chaotic the world outside became, Xin Mei was always Xin Mei—a refreshing, carefree melody amidst the turmoil.
"You've gotten even skinnier, all skin and bones. I heard many places are at war now, food and supplies are ridiculously expensive. Even the Eight Trigrams Immortals can't get enough to eat?"
She looked him up and down, and wherever her gaze landed, Meishan Jun trembled like a leaf in the wind.
"The food in that box is meant to be eaten." Seeing him reverently placing the food box atop his head as if offering it to the heavens, Xin Mei blinked sympathetically. Times were truly hard—just a few buns and mooncakes had him overjoyed to the point of worship. "Should I cook something for you?"
"Y-yes…"
Meishan Jun’s voice was as thin and shrill as a chicken being strangled. Stiff as a board, he shuffled forward step by shaky step, the food box balanced precariously on his head, tears streaming down his face the entire way.
Xin Mei comforted him, "Don’t worry, don’t cry. I’ll start cooking right away."
...
The Spirit Guards at the gate carefully picked their jaws up off the floor. Rumor had it there was an elder Spirit Guard in Meishan’s residence who specialized in sweeping and tending to the bamboo grove. They decided to find time that evening to ask him about this incident in detail.
The kitchen was the same kitchen, the tofu was the same tofu. Xin Mei rolled up her sleeves, washed her hands, grabbed a kitchen knife, and turned to ask, "Meishan Jun, would you still like Tofu Meishan?"
Meishan Jun trembled all over: "C-c-can we have… Tofu Xinmei instead?"
Ah, the trials of these years had indeed paid off—he could finally muster the courage to say such bold words! Meishan Jun shyly covered his face.
Xin Mei didn’t hesitate. "Sure."
...Heavens! This couldn’t possibly be a dream, could it? Could it?! If it was a dream, he never wanted to wake up!
In the end, Xin Mei crafted four tofu figurines that day: Tofu Meishan, Tofu Xinmei, Tofu Fu Jiuyun, and Tofu Zhen Hongsheng. Meishan Jun watched blankly as she deftly wielded her chopsticks, swiftly and mercilessly plucking three of the tofu heads and placing them in his bowl. "Meishan Jun, these are the heads of you and your friends. Enjoy."
...How utterly devastating.
Gritting his teeth, he gnawed through the other two heads, his eyes darting repeatedly toward Tofu Xinmei. He wanted to reach out with his chopsticks but felt too embarrassed. No matter which part he ate, it felt scandalous, as if he were truly taking liberties with her.
Hesitating and dawdling, he missed his chance—Xin Mei ended up eating the Tofu Xinmei herself. Meishan Jun turned away to wipe away his tears of regret.
"It’s been so long since I last went out. The world has changed so much. Today, I went to Esteemed Spirit Valley, and Da Huge has actually become a manager and even got married."
After all, he was the first man she had ever taken a liking to. Hearing that he had married, Xin Mei felt a twinge of regret—such a handsome man...
"Da Huge said the Fox Immortal Lord is in seclusion and won’t emerge in this lifetime. Is that true?"
Meishan Jun paused. "For immortals, seclusion can last anywhere from a hundred to several hundred years. How could it be for a whole lifetime?"
Xin Mei’s face fell. "I’d be long dead in a hundred years."
So, "this lifetime" referred to her lifetime.All these years, it was as if Meishan Jun had suddenly realized that the girl he adored was a mortal, while he himself was an immortal. For him, centuries passed in the blink of an eye, but for her, it might have meant several lifetimes of reincarnation.
He swallowed the tofu with difficulty and hurriedly confessed his feelings: "X-Xin Mei, even when your hair turns white and your skin wrinkles, I’ll still like you!"
Xin Mei was deeply moved: "Lord Meishan... you’re such a good person. I’ll be good friends with you in my next life too!"
"G-good friends...?"
"And the life after that too!"
"Uh, alright..."
Crushed by the friend-zone and the "good person" card, Meishan Jun could only bury his face in his food, tears streaming down. This bittersweet meal left him with a painfully distended belly, groaning as he slumped in his chair.
Xin Mei, familiar with the routine, went to the hot spring outside to bathe and change. When she returned, he had draped a loose robe over his bulging stomach and struck his most dashing pose, leaning casually under the crabapple tree. Holding a jade flute, his long hair and sleeves fluttering in the breeze, he gazed up at the moon.
"Xin Mei, since you’re here, make yourself at home. You can stay at Meishan Residence for as long as you like."
He twirled the flute gracefully and gave her a carefree smile: "Don’t stand on ceremony."
Xin Mei smiled faintly: "Alright, then I’ll stay for a while."
...Huh? So smooth? It went so smoothly that even Meishan Jun felt something was off. Come to think of it, Xin Mei had visited Meishan Residence a few times before, but she always left after delivering something or came with that terrifying War Fiend General. What was different this time?
Rolling his eyes, he tentatively asked: "So... how’s the General been lately?"
Xin Mei’s expression instantly darkened, her tone indifferent: "Oh, he’s doing just fine."
Judging by her demeanor, it seemed they’d had a falling out. Overjoyed, Meishan Jun spun his flute like a windmill and quickly changed the subject: "The moonlight is so enchanting tonight, and the night is long and sleepless. Xin Mei, why don’t we talk about life and ideals or something?"
"Let’s talk tomorrow. I’m tired. Lord Meishan, remember to sleep early too. I’ll make you breakfast in the morning."
Xin Mei waved at him and turned to enter the guest room.
Unable to contain his excitement, Meishan Jun lifted the hem of his robe and pranced around wildly. Spotting a Spirit Guard, he shouted: "Did you hear that? She’s going to make me breakfast! Breakfast!"
"Waking up to the aroma of food is a privilege only a husband gets to enjoy!"
"Xin Mei is going to make breakfast for me with her own hands—!"
A few Spirit Guards hiding in the bamboo forest peeked out and whispered: "The master seems to have lost his mind."
The oldest Spirit Guard picked his nose calmly: "Ignore him. He’ll be crying in a few days. Let’s continue gossiping about his tearful unrequited love history..."
That night, Meishan Jun had the happiest dream of his life. He dreamed of taking Xin Mei as his disciple, teaching her cultivation methods so she would no longer fear the vast divide between mortals and immortals. Spending days and nights together, their affection grew until, before gods and demons alike, they enacted a forbidden love story between master and disciple that shook the heavens.
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