It was the third day of their marriage, and for the first time, Xin Mei did not rise early to prepare breakfast. When Lu Qianqiao returned to their bedroom after his usual morning exercises on the high platform, he found her still curled up under the blankets, lost in thought.
The general, who had been eagerly anticipating his wife’s passionate homemade breakfast, felt a pang of disappointment. He walked over and gently stroked her tousled hair, asking softly, “What’s wrong? Are you feeling unwell?”
Xin Mei’s dazed eyes wandered aimlessly before finally settling on his face, her brows immediately furrowing.
“Lu Qianqiao,” she pouted, “you liar!”
He was taken aback.
“What did you promise me on our wedding night?”
Lu Qianqiao touched his burning ears. That night… he had said many things, but they had all happened in a very special, very intoxicating atmosphere. Back then, if she had asked him to pluck the moon from the sky, he might have agreed without hesitation. But now that she was asking… how was he supposed to answer?
“You promised me that the next time, I’d be on top! But you broke your word!”
Last night, too excited to wait for him to fulfill his promise, she had pounced on him right after her bath—pushing him down, climbing on top, nibbling and groping… She had even opened the Collection of Orchid Musk and Delicate Stamens to the relevant page and laid it on the bedside table for reference.
Just as she was grinding and rubbing, full of passion and fervor, ready to proceed to the most crucial next step, he suddenly couldn’t take it anymore. He wrapped his arms around her waist, flipped her over, and just like that, she unwillingly found herself beneath him.
“Y-you can’t do this! You broke your promise! Liar! If… if you come any closer, I’ll scream for help!”
Xin Mei struggled with all her might, defending her chastity with unyielding determination.
Lu Qianqiao swept the troublesome Collection of Orchid Musk and Delicate Stamens aside. It fell to the floor, weeping silently as it listened to the man on the bed, now devoid of reason, spouting the same old lies: “Next time… next time for sure…”
Having lived for centuries, the Collection had witnessed countless romantic encounters. With its vast experience and sharp insight, it had concluded that this cold-faced, handsome general, though seemingly reserved and restrained, was definitely not the type to willingly stay “beneath a woman.” Poor thing… you’re just a prop…
“I’m really going to scream for help!” The girl was still putting up a desperate fight.
“Stop fussing… even if you scream your lungs out… no one will come to your rescue.” The general had completely lost his senses.
“Lungs out! Lungs out…”
Well, sure enough, no one came to her aid. A pure, innocent little wildflower quietly withered away.
Xin Mei had withered all night, and upon waking in the morning, she continued to wither in anger. Now that Lu Qianqiao had finally returned, her withered fury could no longer be contained.
“You went back on your word!”
Lu Qianqiao touched his burning face again, utterly at a loss. How… how was he supposed to explain this?
“Xin Mei, every time you… I just can’t help it…”
She was always so eager, like a blazing fire, yet every time they reached the critical moment, she would stop, hesitating and dawdling. Only a saint could endure that.
“I’m still learning!” After a pause, she added, “And you should study properly too!”
…
[Three days into the marriage, the bride, dissatisfied with the groom’s bedroom skills, angrily ran away from home.] — Jade Emperor Mausoleum Anecdotes , recorded by Zhao GuanrenXin Mei rode Qiu Yue back to the Sinister Clan for a visit. She wanted to pour out her grievances to her father—Lu Qianqiao was perfect in every way, except he could be too domineering about certain things. And... and... the bedroom affairs weren’t as intoxicating as those books made them out to be either... Most of the time, she still felt uncomfortable. Was it his problem or hers?
But... this wasn’t something she could discuss with her father, was it? Especially not with a father who was always paranoid that she’d been abandoned by a man.
The moment Qiu Yue landed, Xin Mei sighed at the sight of Xin Xiong’s expression shifting from pleasant surprise to sheer horror. His first words were bound to be—
“Did your husband kick you out again?!”
Too exhausted to argue, she simply nodded. “Yeah, he kicked me out. Clean up a room for me—I’ll stay for a few days.”
After a pause with no reaction from her father, Xin Mei glanced up curiously, only to see him wearing a look of utter devastation, as if struck by lightning. Then, his eyes rolled back, and he fainted clean away.
The Sinister Clan descended into chaos once more.
She really was a sinner, wasn’t she? Already married, yet still giving her father heart attacks at every turn.
When Xin Xiong finally woke up, he ignored everyone and spent the entire afternoon weeping to his deceased wife in the ancestral hall. It wasn’t until Xin Mei rushed over to admit her mistake that he stopped: “Dad, I misspoke. I just missed you and Mom and came back for a visit. I’ll return tomorrow.”
Xin Xiong wiped his tears with his sleeve, peering at her timidly as he mumbled, “...Really?”
She nodded vigorously. “Absolutely true!”
Trembling, he pointed at her head. “Then... then why are you still wearing your hair like an unmarried maiden?!”
Unlike those liberal eastern nations, in Qiong Country, marriage was marriage—from clothing to hairstyles to demeanor, married women were entirely distinct from young maidens. To Xin Xiong, it was absolutely abnormal—abnormal!—that his daughter, married for some time now, still wore her hair loose with bangs covering her forehead.
Xin Mei rolled her eyes. “No one taught me how to do a married woman’s hairstyle!”
The fact that she could even manage to style her hair into a decent, non-collapsing shape was already an achievement.
Xin Xiong immediately relaxed. “My fault for not considering that. Your mother passed early, and I didn’t think to hire a matron to teach you before the wedding.”
After a moment of contemplation, he added, “Stay home for a few days, sweetheart. Tomorrow, I’ll have your aunt come over.”
The aunt in question was Xin Xiong’s elder sister.
Xin Mei’s impression of her was of perpetually bright, delicate clothing—even with wrinkles blooming across her face, Auntie still swayed gracefully from afar, looking every bit the youthful maiden.
The moment Auntie saw Xin Mei, she smiled, taking her hands as she cooed sweetly, “Little Mei, married women can’t wear their hair like this. Come, let me teach you how to style it properly.”
From a distance, Xin Xiong shot her a meaningful look. Auntie blinked in understanding, and he left, reassured, to tend to his precious spirit beasts.
“Little Mei, is your husband treating you poorly?” Auntie asked softly as she styled Xin Mei’s hair before the mirror.
Xin Mei shook her head. “No, he treats me very well.”Whatever she wanted, as long as he had it, he would deliver it to her without a moment's delay. If she mentioned wanting to see a puppet of Xin Mei, he would immediately scour all of Turn Tide Mountain for the finest wood and bury himself in crafting it. If she told him not to sleep in, he would retire early every night, ensuring he woke before her the next day—opening his eyes to his deep gaze.
Actually... Lu Qianqiao was truly good to her, and she understood that.
"But you don’t seem very happy... You keep running back to your parents' home. Could it be that your husband..."
The elder aunt lowered her head, covering her mouth with her sleeve, and whispered a few words to her.
"No, no."
Xin Mei shook her head vigorously, pushing thoughts of Tiger Penis Wine and Deer Penis Pills out of her mind. Honestly... if he kept consuming those, wouldn’t she only feel worse?
The elder aunt gasped, covering her mouth in shock: "Could it be that he’s too... capable?!"
That wasn’t it either...
Xin Mei gave her a troubled look. Auntie, must you blush like the sunset? And with that mix of anticipation, gossip, and bashfulness—how terrifying!
The elder aunt’s well-meaning tactics proved ineffective. As she lingered in the room until nearly dinnertime, word suddenly arrived that Lu Qianqiao had come.
Xin Mei followed the crowd to the gate and, sure enough, saw Lu Qianqiao once again with a black cloth covering his eyes, riding Fierce Cloud Colt, looking as dashing and imposing as ever while speaking with Xin Xiong.
The elder aunt cupped her cheeks, studying him with a bashful gaze for a long while before suddenly leaning close to Xin Mei’s ear and dropping a bombshell: "Sweetheart, was your husband a virgin before marriage?"
Xin Mei choked on her own saliva, nearly fainting on the spot.
Lu Qianqiao turned toward them with concern. Though the black cloth obscured his expression, he opened his mouth as if to say something, but ultimately remained silent. Instead, he was half-supported, half-dragged into the manor by a tearful Xin Xiong.
The elder aunt nodded knowingly. "I understand, sweetheart. Leave this matter to me."
Leave what to her? Xin Mei watched in bewilderment as the elder aunt turned and followed them, her delicate, vibrant skirt swaying like a flower.
[The bride returns to her parents' home and confides in an experienced elder woman. The elder, furious, finds a private place to reprimand the groom, who is left ashamed and remorseful.] —"Jade Emperor Mausoleum Anecdotes," recorded by Zhao Guanren.
After dinner, Xin Mei finally had a moment alone with Lu Qianqiao—an entire night, in fact. This time, they were truly married and would share a room.
The oil lamp flickered gently on the table, casting their shadows leaping softly across the wall.
Lu Qianqiao’s blindfold had been removed, but whatever the elder aunt had said to him left him with a strange flush on his face, distracted and absent-minded, as if his thoughts had wandered to the dawn of time.
Xin Mei poured him a cup of tea and hesitated before speaking. "Lu Qianqiao, I’m not angry with you. I just... well, wanted to come back and see my father. Let’s return to the Imperial Mausoleum tomorrow."
He wasn’t listening at all. Holding the teacup, he poured the water down his neck and immediately startled from the scalding heat.
...Just what had the elder aunt said to him? He was as jumpy as a startled bird.
She fetched a clean cloth to wipe the water from his clothes, then casually undid his sash to check if his skin had been burned—only for him to seize her wrist.
"Xin Mei..." He gazed at her with tenderness and guilt. "I’m sorry. I’ve always... It’s my fault."
Xin Mei’s eyes lit up as she clutched his collar. "You admit you were wrong?"His implication was that he was willing to let her push him down and have her way, letting her take the lead?
Lu Qianqiao nodded with deep remorse and guilt. The elder aunt had said that although Xin Mei was already sixteen, her physical development lagged behind other girls her age. For certain matters, there was only one four-word mantra: Take it slow.
Take it slow!
He gently stroked her hair, his eyes brimming with tenderness. "Go to sleep early. I'll stay with you..."
Before he could finish, she pounced on him, nibbling and kissing his head while tearing off his outer robe and tossing it to the floor.
"Wait—" He barely managed to utter a single word.
"Wait my ass!" Xin Mei pushed him onto the bed. "We agreed! Today, I push you down! Don’t move!"
She refused to believe that their intimate moments couldn’t be ecstatic!
Thud —the pillow fell to the floor.
Clink —the hairpin followed suit.
Lu Qianqiao lay stiffly on the bed, limbs splayed, his face pale as he gritted his teeth and endured. The four-word mantra echoed in his mind: Take it slow! Take it slow! He had to endure, to proceed gradually!
...She hesitated again, fumbled, couldn’t quite align, dawdled...
Golden sparks danced before his eyes, as if he were glimpsing the distant celestial palace.
"Xin Mei..." he gasped out with difficulty. "You... hurry up..."
Xin Mei hugged him guiltily, suddenly reaching up to draw the bed curtains shut, murmuring, "Almost there."
The curtains shook violently once more, followed by two more pained yelps from her. Immediately, she tried to push him away and get up to tend to her injuries. So strange—why did it always hurt so much at the start?!
Enough was enough...
Lu Qianqiao gripped her waist with both hands, pressing her back down. His other hand slid slowly up her smooth back, pulling her lower until she was flush against his chest.
"Always leaving at this moment... Are you doing it on purpose?" he panted, capturing her soft earlobe between his lips.
Xin Mei squirmed fiercely. "You’re not allowed to move! I’m the one pushing you down!"
His hand inched downward, heading toward a place she very much didn’t want him to go. She reacted instantly, writhing even more desperately, trying to climb off.
"I’m not moving... not moving," he murmured, one hand pressing against her back while he rested his head on the pillow, demonstrating his complete stillness.
Take it slow. With her, he had to proceed gradually.
The hand on her back slid upward again, tilting her face—buried against his chest as she panted softly—toward his for a kiss.
"See? I’m really not moving... You’re the one on top."
Nipping gently at her soft lips, he whispered.
... Take it slow. Surely this was slow enough? Any slower, and he’d die.
The moment she let out her usual soft whimper of discomfort, Lu Qianqiao stroked her hair and asked, "...Does it hurt?"
She shook her head, then nodded, her meaning unclear.
Never mind... Take it slow it was.
And then—ecstasy.
[From then on, the groom devoted himself to mastering the art of marital harmony, keeping two rare, out-of-print manuals at home— Collection of Orchid Musk and Delicate Stamens . Bride and groom lived in perfect accord, envying no immortal pair but the lovebirds themselves.] — Jade Emperor Mausoleum Anecdotes , recorded by Zhao Guanren.
( Collection of Orchid Musk and Delicate Stamens wept silently: This has nothing to do with us! Theirs is fake, fake! We refuse to acknowledge it! )
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