Butler Lin lowered his head, not daring to look at Jiang Ruan's expression. Jiang Ruan clenched her fists, slowly calming down. Indeed, in her past life, hadn't Xiao Shao ultimately killed Ye Li and ascended the throne? So it was like this—he was originally of royal blood, and the Emperor had always intended to pass the throne to him?
"Subjects and rulers are distinct," Xiao Shao remained unmoved. "Your Majesty's empire should be entrusted to someone more capable. This humble subject cannot accept Your Majesty's arrangement."
"You... obstinate fool!" The Emperor stamped his feet in anger, then suddenly seemed to think of something and changed his tone. "Is it because of that girl that you refuse the throne? I've heard you dote on her exclusively—how can this be? I thought it was just youthful indiscretion, that you didn't understand the stakes. If you truly like her, marrying her would have been enough. But now you favor her alone—how will you command respect in the future? The people of Jin Dynasty don't need an emperor obsessed with romance!"
"I've said it before," Xiao Shao's tone suddenly hardened at the mention of Jiang Ruan, clearly displeased. "I won't agree to your arrangements. Your Majesty should find someone else."
Not only was Xiao Shao displeased, but Butler Lin's expression also darkened. What kind of presence was Jiang Ruan in Brocade Hero King Manor now? She was the universally respected and admired princess consort. What did the Emperor mean by dismissing her so categorically? Even the Emperor couldn't casually deny someone's merits, let alone a princess consort everyone considered perfect.
All three—inside and outside the room—were displeased, yet Jiang Ruan was the calmest of all. She wasn't saddened by this. Since ancient times, she had never been favored by emperors, and she cared not for it in this life or the last.
"A Shao," the Emperor suddenly softened his tone, sounding defeated and weary. "Have you forgotten your father? I promised him..."
"Your Majesty," Xiao Shao interrupted sharply, his voice like a blade. "You also promised my mother."
The Emperor abruptly fell silent.
After what seemed like an eternity, the Emperor's weary voice finally spoke again. "Regardless, A Shao, consider carefully what I've said today." With that, he made to leave the room. Jiang Ruan quickly retreated with Butler Lin into a side chamber. Only after watching the Emperor depart did Butler Lin turn to Jiang Ruan and hesitantly say, "If the princess consort wishes to know anything, now would be the time to ask His Highness directly. He won't hide anything from you."
Jiang Ruan nodded. After a moment's thought, she gracefully entered the study. Inside, Xiao Shao sat at his desk, seemingly lost in thought. He showed no surprise at her arrival, merely asking, "You heard everything?"
Jiang Ruan nodded. Xiao Shao was a martial artist, and a formidable one at that. While the Emperor might not have detected her and Butler Lin's presence outside, Xiao Shao certainly had—he'd probably intended for her to overhear. She took a seat beside him. The silver bat pattern on his collar gleamed with a dark, cold sheen, casting his already stern expression in an even more austere light.
"A Ruan, there are things I need to tell you," Xiao Shao said.
"Perfect timing," Jiang Ruan smiled faintly. "I have something to tell you too."Xiao Shao was momentarily stunned, staring at Jiang Ruan without speaking. Jiang Ruan looked at the thick ledger on the table—neat and orderly, as if silently declaring how often its owner had perused its pages. Xiao Shao was meticulous and cautious; just because he didn’t speak of many things didn’t mean he was unaware. The couple each had their own secrets, and Jiang Ruan had long wanted to come clean. Now that Xiao Shao had broached the subject first, she felt it was better for her to speak up instead.
“Do you remember when I told you something on our way back from Mount Canaan?” Jiang Ruan smiled. “I said there was something I needed to tell you.”
Xiao Shao replied, “I remember.”
“What I’m about to tell you now is that very thing.” Jiang Ruan sighed, her eyes flickering with a trace of melancholy. “Truthfully, I don’t know how you’ll see me after hearing this. You might keep me at arm’s length, or perhaps nothing will change. But no matter what, I’ll say it anyway. I believe we should be honest with each other.” Her tone was forthright, and though there was a hint of hesitation, it vanished after a brief pause.
“You’ve probably had the Brocade-clad Guards investigate me—the matter of the relief grain at the General's Residence, the ambush my elder brother faced in the forest, the affair with Master Huijue. You must have many questions, even sometimes thought I had foresight. You surely don’t understand why I acted against the Xia Family for Xia Yan’s harm to my mother, yet to this day, I’ve held back Ye Li. And then there was Li Dong’s entire household back then.”
Xiao Shao gazed at her intently. Indeed, everything she mentioned had puzzled him before. No matter how capable the Brocade-clad Guards were, they had found no leads. The only plausible explanation seemed too absurd to consider.
“You must also wonder why the Thirteenth Prince seems so close to me, or why Grand Tutor Liu appears to aid me, or how I always catch wind of court movements. Xiao Shao, none of this is coincidence.” Jiang Ruan looked at him and suddenly smiled. “Because I already knew what would happen. I’ve lived through all of this before. I’ve died once, Xiao Shao.”
“A Ruan.” Xiao Shao abruptly interrupted, frowning. “You don’t have to tell me.”
Even these few casual words were shocking enough. Each sentence was something no ordinary person could easily accept. And Jiang Ruan herself didn’t realize that, despite her efforts to conceal it, a trace of unnatural madness flickered in her eyes as she spoke.
“You don’t believe me?” Jiang Ruan countered.
“No, I believe you.” Xiao Shao said. “I just think that if speaking of this pains you, you don’t have to. I don’t need to know. Whatever happened in the past doesn’t matter to me—as long as the one by my side now is you. You will always be my princess consort.”
His tone was gentle, his expression calm and unreadable, yet a fleeting trace of indulgence flashed imperceptibly in his eyes. The comfort in his words warmed her heart. Jiang Ruan looked at him and suddenly smiled. “But I want to tell you. Some things have weighed on me for too long. If you can share this burden with me, it’ll lighten my heart. At least let me feel that, in this life, I’m not alone anymore.”Xiao Shao was slightly taken aback and remained silent for a moment. Jiang Ruan paused before speaking slowly, "The me you see now wasn't supposed to be like this. When I was six, my mother passed away, and Xia Yan became the official wife. On the surface, she treated me very kindly, and Jiang Susu was also amiable, but the servants constantly bullied me. At that time, I didn't understand and simply thought there were many unruly servants in the household. It wasn't until later that I realized servants wouldn't dare mistreat the official daughter of the household without their masters' orders. Regardless, I was eventually sent to the manor, and my elder brother, privately influenced by Xia Yan, believed that if he left, they would treat me well. So he left home at a young age, and we siblings were separated."
"Later, I lived at the manor. Life there was very hard. Everyone forgot I was actually the official daughter of the Minister's household. Many times, I lived worse than the servants. Zhang Lan and her daughter took all my belongings and treated me like a slave. Their spoiled son even tried to assault me." Jiang Ruan noticed Xiao Shao's increasingly furrowed brows and smiled. "The Brocade-clad Guards must have told you about these things. You know."
"That year, I didn't meet Imperial Censor Wang, nor was I exonerated because of it. I stayed at the manor for eight years. During that time, I also learned of my elder brother's death on the battlefield. I thought life was hopeless. The Minister's household in the capital seemed to have forgotten me. I wrote many letters home but never received a reply. I thought I would live out my days in hardship at the manor until I died. But in the eighth year, someone came from the capital to take me back to the Minister's household. I was overjoyed, thinking my father had finally remembered me."
Her words were disjointed, and an ordinary person wouldn't have understood what she was talking about. Yet Xiao Shao simply stared at her in silence, his gaze filled with complex emotions. His hand, clad in a wrist guard, clenched into a fist as he suppressed his shock, trying to remain calm as he watched her.
"I was taken back to the Minister's household. Right at the doorstep, in front of all the onlookers, I—dressed in rags, completely devoid of manners or propriety—was greeted warmly by Xia Yan and Jiang Susu like a beggar. The more pure and kind she appeared, like a celestial being, the more filthy and wretched I seemed. At that moment, I felt deeply ashamed." Her tone was flat as she spoke, but her nails dug deeper into her palms. "Not long after returning to the capital, it was the annual Lantern Festival. On the Exquisite Boat that time, you weren't there, but all the noble youths of the capital were. Jiang Susu asked me to dance so as not to disgrace the Minister's household. She told me to perform the usual celebratory dances from the manor's banquets. That day, I fell from the Exquisite Boat and was fished out of the water, drenched, becoming the laughingstock of the entire capital."
Unconsciously, her nails dug deeper into her palms, leaving bloody marks she didn't even notice. Some wounds in life don't fade with time; they don't hurt unless remembered, but every recollection brings back pain and resentment. Just then, a slender, cool hand reached over, gently prying her fingers from her palm. Afraid she might hurt herself again, he enveloped her small hand in his own long, elegant one.Jiang Ruan watched his movements in a daze until the warmth in her palm made her realize what was happening. She took a deep breath, her expression gradually calming down. "Later, Jiang Susu and I attended various gatherings together under the guise of being the legitimate daughters of the Minister's household. Xia Yan hired tutors for me, but they never taught me to read, write, or manage household affairs. She insisted that women didn’t need to learn such things and only had me practice singing, dancing, and playing instruments. I knew nothing, and whenever I went out with Jiang Susu, outsiders would only praise her for her beauty and talents, while I was dismissed as a vulgar and unrefined beauty."
"Later, even the title of 'unrefined beauty' was stripped away. At some point, rumors began circulating in the capital. The incident where Chen Zhao harassed me back at the estate was dredged up, and people claimed that even at a young age, I lacked self-respect and knew how to seduce men—proof of my moral failings. By the time I had just come of age, my reputation was already in ruins."
Xiao Shao slowly wrapped an arm around her shoulders, turning her slightly so she could lean against his chest. Only then did he realize how stiff Jiang Ruan’s body was, tense as a block of wood, as if she were gripped by extreme nervousness. He patted her back gently, soothing her like a child, and she relaxed slightly. Jiang Ruan continued, "When my reputation was at its worst, only one person treated me with unwavering kindness—Ye Li."
Xiao Shao stiffened, his eyes darkening, but Jiang Ruan didn’t notice. A trace of sorrow flickered in her voice. "On the day I was humiliated on the Exquisite Boat, he was the one who comforted me, disregarding everyone else’s stares. I thought then that he was inherently kind and gentle. Later, he often visited the Minister’s residence to speak with Jiang Quan and would bring me small gifts. Unlike others, he never called me 'unrefined beauty' or looked at me with disdain. When Jiang Susu and I appeared together, his attention never fixated solely on her while ignoring me. Back then, I truly cherished him."
"After I came of age, the Emperor summoned a new batch of court ladies. Even the daughters of officials from secondary wives could enter the palace. But by then, the rising influence of the Jiang and Xia families had made the Emperor wary. The so-called selection was more about taking hostages into the palace to warn the Minister’s household. Jiang Li and Jiang Dan, being daughters of secondary wives, were insignificant and wouldn’t satisfy the Emperor. Jiang Quan withheld Jiang Susu’s portrait and submitted mine instead."
Xiao Shao stroked her hair. Even now, as she recounted this, her tone carried a deep undercurrent of self-mockery. Perhaps one thing Jiang Ruan had never understood, in both her past and present life, was why Jiang Quan treated her this way. As father and daughter, no matter how cold their relationship, it shouldn’t have been so cruel—as if even a stranger would have been treated better. Even a vicious tiger wouldn’t harm its own cub. Between Jiang Quan and her, it might have been a feud from a past life, repaid in this lifetime under the guise of a father-daughter bond.
"I didn’t want to enter the palace. I didn’t want to live with a man I’d never met, nor did I want to engage in petty schemes with a crowd of women in the depths of the imperial harem. But Jiang Quan said that if I refused, the entire Minister’s household would suffer for my defiance. Ye Li also urged me at the time. He said he would protect me in the palace and that one day, he would make me his rightful wife."Xiao Shao's gaze suddenly darkened. Even if it was something that hadn't happened yet, coveting his woman was unforgivable. Moreover, Ye Li's words were far too arrogant. Currently, Jiang Ruan wasn't Ye Li's wife—competition between men was never won through empty boasts, but through real capability.
"I didn't understand human warmth and coldness back then, so I believed them. I willingly entered the palace as a consort in Jiang Susu's place." Jiang Ruan paused, as if hearing once more the ostensibly kind or grateful faces of those in the Minister's residence before she entered the palace—every word of theirs had been nauseating. Had she known she would later die for such a pack of wolves who devoured people without spitting out the bones, she would have dragged the entire Minister's residence down with her on charges of deceiving the Emperor.
"My days in the palace were the darkest of my life. Mocked by imperial concubines, bullied by palace maids—everyone knew I was out of favor. Sometimes, I was even treated as nothing more than a dancing girl for the Emperor's favored consorts. Even with my rank, no one paid me any regard. I had no family to rely on. To demonstrate their loyalty, the Minister's residence never interfered in palace affairs and never gave me any support. They even wished for my death, thinking it might earn them a shred of the Emperor's remorse." She smiled faintly, as if recalling something. "Later, the Emperor gave Pei Er to me, allowing me to raise him under my name. Pei Er was also an unfavored prince in the palace. We were the forgotten ones. I was grateful—perhaps he was heaven's gift to me in this life, knowing I couldn't endure alone, so it gave me this child."
Hearing this, Xiao Shao's heart stirred. He suddenly understood why Ye Pei was so attached to Jiang Ruan. Just as Guan Lianghan had inadvertently mentioned, Pei Er clung to Jiang Ruan like a fledgling to its mother. If they had been mother and son in a past life, it made sense for them to be so now. But if that were the case, did Pei Er also retain memories of that past life? So far, everything Xiao Shao had heard about Jiang Ruan's past was tragic. He couldn't comprehend all she had endured, nor could he imagine that this strong, unyielding woman before him had once been helpless and desperate.
(End of Chapter)
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