Destined

Actually, during the journey here, he had been sulking for ten whole days. He initially thought that upon seeing her, he could put on a stern face, but the moment he laid eyes on Liu Yu Ru, he suddenly felt that nothing could bring him greater joy.

Liking someone means that just by seeing them, everything feels right, and everything becomes forgivable.

However, this joy didn't last long before it crumbled under her gaze.

Deep down, he knew that Ye Shi'an's condition was critical, and it was only natural for her to worry, so he had been restraining himself all along. Yet, there was still a lingering discomfort in his heart—perhaps because of the familiarity in her tone, or perhaps because he was aware of their shared past.

For instance, he knew that Liu Yu Ru's calligraphy style resembled Ye Shi'an's; he knew that her brushstrokes were similar to his; or when he saw Liu Yu Ru and Ye Shi'an standing together, their calm and composed demeanors were strikingly alike.

These were the imprints Ye Shi'an had left on Liu Yu Ru's life. She had spent years imitating and drawing closer to this person, nearly marrying him by a hair's breadth. Broadly speaking, the gap between him and Ye Shi'an in Liu Yu Ru's heart might not just be a matter of years, but a gap between responsibility and affection.

When he saw the way Liu Yu Ru looked at Ye Shi'an, there were even moments of despondency when he felt that Liu Yu Ru might never look at him that way in her entire life.

But he couldn't voice these thoughts. He could only restrain himself, quietly sitting by Liu Yu Ru's side, letting her lean on him as she slept, waiting for Ye Shi'an to wake up.

When dawn broke, Ye Shi'an woke up groggily. The moment he made a sound, Liu Yu Ru jolted awake and hurried to his side, anxiously asking, "Brother Ye, are you alright?"

Ye Shi'an opened his eyes in a daze, and after a long while, he rasped, "Water."

Gu Jiusi walked over, poured a cup of water for Ye Shi'an, helped him sit up, and fed him the water. Liu Yu Ru went outside to call the doctor, who came and examined Ye Shi'an once more before saying, "There's no serious issue now. Just continue with the previous prescription and take the medicine daily."

Hearing this, Liu Yu Ru finally breathed a sigh of relief. Her tense nerves suddenly relaxed, and she couldn't help taking a few steps back. Gu Jiusi reached out to steady her. Seeing this, Ye Shi'an quickly said, "Yu Ru, you must be tired. Go and rest now."

"It's fine," Liu Yu Ru shook her head but said, "I'll go check on Yun'er."

However, Gu Jiusi grabbed her firmly. Liu Yu Ru turned to look at him, and Gu Jiusi lowered his gaze, his expression calm. "Ye Yun is fine. I'll have someone call you when she wakes up. You should go back and rest first."

Liu Yu Ru felt a bit dizzy and still uneasy, but she understood that Gu Jiusi was right. Just as she was about to nod, Gu Jiusi, thinking she was still being stubborn, stepped forward without a word, hoisted her over his shoulder, and carried her out.

Liu Yu Ru let out a startled cry, while Ye Shi'an and the others stared in shock. Only after being carried out of the room did Liu Yu Ru snap back to reality, her face flushing as she exclaimed, "What are you doing? Put me down right now!"

Gu Jiusi pressed his lips together and remained silent. He strode quickly out, kicked the door open with one foot, tossed her onto the bed, then turned to lock the door.Liu Yu Ru was somewhat stunned by this series of actions. Gu Jiusi, with a darkened expression, remained silent. He removed his outer robe and approached the bed, half-kneeling before it as he grabbed her foot and took off her shoes.

Then he climbed onto the bed, drew the bed curtains, and turned to look at Liu Yu Ru, who was sitting to the side.

Though it was still broad daylight, the moment the curtains fell, the light dimmed considerably. Within the confined space, the temperature seemed to rise.

Gu Jiusi gazed quietly at Liu Yu Ru. She knew he was displeased and cautiously asked, "Are you unhappy? If something is bothering you, tell me. If I’ve done something wrong, I’ll correct it."

Gu Jiusi didn’t respond. He lay down, turning his back to her, and said indifferently, "Going to sleep."

Liu Yu Ru watched his back, understanding that he was deeply upset. Lying on the bed, she could clearly tell Gu Jiusi wasn’t asleep. He faced the curtains, his eyes wide open.

He didn’t know what he was waiting for—just waiting, helplessly.

Meanwhile, Liu Yu Ru stared at the canopy above. She was exhausted.

Over the past ten days, they had endured relentless pursuit, constant travel, and desperate escapes. The night before, when Ye Shi'an hovered between life and death, her nerves had been stretched taut. She was utterly drained, but with Gu Jiusi upset, her heart was heavy. She tried to figure out the reason for his displeasure, but fatigue made it hard to think clearly.

Gu Jiusi sensed she was still awake and knew she was worried about him. His heart softened with a pang of tenderness. Gritting his teeth, he turned over, pulled her into his arms, and gave her a fierce kiss. In a cold tone, he said, "Sleep first. We’ll argue after we wake up."

Hearing this, Liu Yu Ru couldn’t help but laugh. Somehow, her heart felt much lighter. Held by him, she drifted into a hazy sleep.

As Gu Jiusi held Liu Yu Ru, he suddenly understood why lovers favored this position. It held a mysterious power—able to quietly soothe even the deepest anguish, anger, or resentment.

He, too, hadn’t slept well in a long time. Feeling the rhythm of her breathing, he also drifted into a drowsy slumber.

By the time they awoke, it was already afternoon. Liu Yu Ru opened her eyes to find herself still nestled in Gu Jiusi’s embrace. Feeling more refreshed, she quietly studied him.

After months apart, Gu Jiusi had noticeably thinned. His face had taken on a more mature youthfulness, with a shadow of stubble on his chin, giving him a somewhat haggard appearance.

Yet he was still handsome.

Liu Yu Ru gazed at his features, unable to look away. Lying in his arms, she felt as if the world had faded into the distance. She began earnestly pondering his thoughts—why was he angry?

Was it because she had cared for Ye Shi'an?

But Ye Shi'an had been gravely injured the previous night. Wasn’t it natural for her to be concerned? Ye Shi'an had saved them repeatedly; Gu Jiusi shouldn’t be so petty.

Moreover, Ye Shi'an had also saved Gu Lang Hua. It was only right for them to feel grateful.

However, her feelings for Ye Shi'an went beyond mere gratitude. To her, Ye Shi'an was a friend and an elder brother. This emotional connection, surpassing gratitude, was likely something Gu Jiusi had detected. He had always been perceptive, and given her previous engagement to Ye Shi'an, it was only natural for Gu Jiusi to feel displeased.She gradually understood Gu Jiusi's meaning and couldn't help but smile. Resting her head against his chest, this movement woke him. Seeing Liu Yuru nestled against him, warmth spread through his heart. He instinctively reached to brush aside her hair but froze midway, becoming more alert.

His expression stiffened as he withdrew his hand, pushed aside the bed curtain, and stood up. He walked to the table to drink water.

While drinking, he wondered if Liu Yuru might be thirsty. He considered handing her a cup but couldn't bring himself to do so. Fortunately, she rolled up the bed curtain and stepped down from the bed at that moment.

Seeing her approach, Gu Jiusi remained silent and moved to the washbasin instead. Cupping water in his hands, he splashed it on his face. When he looked up, he found Liu Yuru offering him a handkerchief.

He paused briefly, then chose to wipe his face with his own sleeve before turning away.

After scanning the room, he finally settled at the desk, sitting down to review unfinished documents.

Liu Yuru understood he was in a mood but said nothing. After dressing and washing up, she went to stand beside Gu Jiusi.

First, she leaned against his shoulder. Gu Jiusi paused his brush momentarily before pretending she didn't exist and ignoring her. After leaning for a while without response, Liu Yuru thought for a moment, then stood up and moved behind him to massage his shoulders.

Disturbed by this, Gu Jiusi pushed her hand away and muttered, "Stop fooling around."

"How strange of you to say that," Liu Yuru said with a laugh. "How is massaging your shoulders fooling around?"

Grumbling, Gu Jiusi replied, "I still have documents to review."

"Then I'll be gentler so I won't disturb you."

Gu Jiusi pressed his lips together, still displeased. After some thought, Liu Yuru finally said, "Since you feel I'm bothering you, I'll stop. I'll go check on Brother Ye and Yun'er instead."

With that, she stood up and headed out. Gu Jiusi tightened his grip on the brush and called after her, "I already said he's fine. Why do you need to check on him?"

"How strange of you to say that," Liu Yuru turned back with a bright smile. "Even if nothing major happened, there might be minor matters. Since I'm concerned about him, how can I not go?"

She turned and quickened her steps, saying cheerfully, "Focus on your work, my lord. I'll be going now."

"Liu Yuru!"

Gu Jiusi finally threw down his brush and shouted, "Stop right there!"

Hearing this, Liu Yuru not only didn't stop but walked even faster.

Seeing her truly not stopping, Gu Jiusi was stunned for a moment before hastily standing up and chasing after her. "Liu Yuru! Come back here! You're not allowed to go!" he cried anxiously.

He hurried after her to the corridor. Just as he turned the corner, he saw Liu Yuru standing by the corridor, smiling as she waited for him.

Wrapped in a fox fur cloak and holding a hand warmer, she seemed to have anticipated his pursuit. "Weren't you annoyed with me, my lord?" she asked with a laugh.

Gu Jiusi remained silent. Seeing her smile, he suddenly realized she actually knew what he was angry about. She had intended to wear down his temper first, let him cool off, then use strategic retreat to negotiate with him.

She had always been clever, and this method was effective. But the thought that everything was going according to her wishes - she'd probably become unbearably smug - made Gu Jiusi unhappy again.He couldn't stand her calm and composed demeanor, feeling it unfair that he was the only one in this relationship who wavered between hope and fear, anxious and cautious, while she remained unaffected as if nothing was amiss.

Liu Yuru knew he was lost in thought, so she smiled without speaking, waiting for his next move. Unexpectedly, he strode toward her in a few quick steps. He moved too fast and with such intensity that before she could react, she had only managed to utter a single "You—" when he pressed his hand against her head, leaned in, and kissed her.

His kiss was fierce and aggressive, his lips and tongue plunging deep, leaving her dizzy and disoriented.

They were in the corridor, and although the servants had long since withdrawn, she felt flustered inside. Startled, she retreated repeatedly, but he pressed forward, one hand holding her head, the other supporting her waist, leaving her no room to resist.

It was the first time she realized Gu Jiusi could be so domineering, utterly refusing any hint of refusal from her. Panicked and frightened, she lost her composure, her heartbeat quickening with an indescribable emotion. Her usually tranquil heart finally stirred with ripples of unrest.

By the time the kiss ended, her face was flushed crimson. She didn’t dare open her eyes, her eyelashes trembling slightly as she leaned against the pillar, looking utterly pitiable and endearing.

Gu Jiusi gazed at her appearance, feeling considerably more at ease. Sensing the slight tremble beneath his touch, he couldn’t help but laugh softly. "You can still be afraid. If you don’t respond to me a little more, I might really start thinking you’re a bodhisattva."

"You…" Liu Yuru struggled to open her eyes, not daring to look at him, and instead gazed toward the courtyard, her voice trembling. "You shouldn’t have done this."

Her legs seemed to have gone weak, and she leaned against his strength for support. Her voice had changed, the usually gentle tone now carrying a slight tremble, as if on the verge of tears.

Yet she was still trying hard to maintain her composure. Gu Jiusi watched her, feeling a tightness in his lower body. He swallowed hard, the earlier frustration completely vanishing. Lowering his gaze to conceal his expression, he said hoarsely, "It was my fault. Let’s go inside."

With that, he slid his hand down to hold hers and asked softly, "Shall I carry you, or will you walk on your own?"

"I… I’ll walk myself."

Liu Yuru spoke nervously. Gu Jiusi acknowledged her response and didn’t press her further. Hand in hand, they walked inside, an inexplicable awkwardness lingering between them.

Once inside the room, Gu Jiusi closed the door and helped Liu Yuru remove her outer fox-fur coat. She shrank back slightly, and he paused for a moment before saying, "I was wrong to frighten you earlier."

Liu Yuru remained silent. Gu Jiusi stepped forward and embraced her. His warmth slowly calmed her, and she relaxed, murmuring softly, "That was in the corridor. You were too reckless, my lord."

"Hmm," Gu Jiusi replied in a low voice. "It was my fault."

Liu Yuru said nothing more. They held each other quietly for a while until Gu Jiusi sensed her relax. Then he spoke slowly, "I was just too angry."

"I took care of Young Master Ye because his situation was critical. There aren’t many people left from my childhood whom I still know. Now that we’ve returned to Yangzhou, everything has changed, and I cherish those from the past even more. I didn’t consider your feelings—that was my mistake."

Seeing that his emotions had stabilized, Liu Yuru raised her hands and embraced him, saying gently, "Don’t be angry.""Yu Ru," Gu Jiusi spoke calmly, "that's not what I'm angry about."

Liu Yu Ru was taken aback. She lifted her eyes to look at him. Gu Jiusi released her, his gaze resting on her as he said quietly, "All along the way, I've been thinking—what do I mean to you? What does he mean to you? You risked your life to save me because I'm your husband. If I weren't your husband, would you still have done the same?"

Liu Yu Ru watched Gu Jiusi. He felt embarrassed saying these words and turned his head away, his voice hoarse. "Whether Ye Shi'an is your husband or not, you'd still risk your life to save him. Then what about me? You say he's like an elder brother, a friend, an old acquaintance to you, but you've given too much and done too much for this person. I know your calligraphy resembles his, I know your painting style imitates his, I know you once wanted to marry him, I know you used to like him. I told myself these were all in the past, but what about now?"

As he spoke, Gu Jiusi closed his eyes.

He had always known that affection brings both sweetness and bitterness, but since falling for Liu Yu Ru, this was truly the first time he had tasted its bitterness.

Not one to keep things bottled up, he said softly, "Now, do you still like him? If you didn't like him, how could you have risked your life to save him?"

Liu Yu Ru remained silent. Watching the young man before her speak with closed eyes, sensing his sorrow, she felt a pang of panic. She hurriedly said, "Jiu Si, whether I like him or not isn't important. You and I are already husband and wife..."

"How isn't it important?!" Gu Jiusi suddenly turned back, raising his voice loudly. "I love you. Whether you like him or not—how could that not matter?"

His words stunned Liu Yu Ru completely. His eyes were clear and pure, filled with a youthful stubbornness, as if he would demand an answer no matter what.

Liu Yu Ru looked at him. In truth, she had always known about his feelings for her, but this was the first time he had spoken them aloud. She had thought such words didn't need to be said, yet hearing them now, she felt a silent joy spreading within her. Yet this joy was mingled with an indescribable unease. She turned her head away, not daring to look at him. Gu Jiusi stepped forward, grasped her hand, and said through gritted teeth, "Since we've started this conversation today, let's make it clear. In your heart, what does he mean? What do I mean? Do you like him or not?"

Hearing his relentless questioning, like a child's, she didn't know why, but her heart suddenly calmed.

If he had kept his anger bottled up, she wouldn't have known what to do, but now that it was out in the open, she felt no fear. She looked at him quietly and said calmly, "What kind of 'like' do you mean?"

"The kind of affection where you give yourself wholeheartedly to this person, where you want only this person for a lifetime," Gu Jiusi said seriously. Liu Yu Ru was silent for a moment before she slowly asked, "If I did like him, what would you do?"

"If you like him," Gu Jiusi's hand holding hers trembled slightly. Hearing these words felt like a knife twisting in his heart, but he had to continue. He said with difficulty, "If you like him, and he likes you too, I will naturally step aside. I won't cling to you. You have been kind to my Gu Family, so from now on I will regard you as a benefactor, treating you well and protecting you for the rest of my life."

"If he doesn't like you, I will still stay by your side, waiting until you meet someone you truly love. I will still treat you well and protect you."Liu Yu Ru felt as if something in her heart suddenly collapsed upon hearing his words. His gaze was too earnest, making one believe that such a lifelong vow could truly be taken seriously. Liu Yu Ru stared at him and couldn't resist asking again, "What if I like you?"

"If you like me," Gu Jiusi forced a smile, "I will love and cherish you all my life, treat you as the flesh of my heart and the pearl of my eye, regard you as my very life, grow old with you, and protect you with lifelong stability."

Hearing this, Liu Yu Ru couldn't help but laugh. "So whether I like you or not, you'll protect me for a lifetime. What difference does it make whether I like you or not?"

"There's no helping it," Gu Jiusi said with a bitter smile, looking at the person before him who seemed overjoyed by these words. "Whether you like me or not, I like you. What can I do about that?"

Liu Yu Ru was slightly stunned.

She had read many romance novels and listened to numerous operas, with all their grand vows and pledges, yet not a single line had moved her as deeply as this one.

Whether you like me or not, I like you. What can I do about that?

Liu Yu Ru's heart raced. She felt this person clearly imprinted in her eyes—perfect and gentle. She almost blurted out the word "like," but when it came to her lips, she ultimately swallowed it back.

She was not an impulsive person—not in the past, not now, and not in the future. She couldn't let words slip out without thinking just because of a moment of emotion. So she raised her eyes to look at him. He was watching her, leaving her no room for evasion. After a long while, Liu Yu Ru sighed softly. "Must we really speak so plainly?"

"Really."

"Alright."

Liu Yu Ru smiled gently. "I like you."

Gu Jiusi didn't move. He knew there was more to come. He watched as she sat down, poured herself some tea, took a small sip, and seemed to ponder for a long time before saying, "But I think this liking of mine isn't what you want. Jiu Si, I've always known what kind of love you desire. You want that person to entrust themselves to you wholeheartedly and without reservation, but that's something I can never do in my entire life."

"I've seen my mother, and I've seen too many tragic women. I could promise you wholehearted devotion with my words, but I can't deceive you. I can only promise what I'm capable of doing." Liu Yu Ru looked up at him, her expression clear. "I can accompany you for a lifetime and treat you well. If you like me, I'm willing to give you my heart. If you don't like me, I'll still be a good wife to you, never betraying you."

Gu Jiusi didn't speak. He didn't know whether to be happy or sad.

He suddenly understood the root of his unease regarding Ye Shi'an. It wasn't that he was uneasy about Ye Shi'an himself, but rather that he clearly knew his feelings for Liu Yu Ru had no solid foundation.

His anxiety about Liu Yu Ru made him constantly worry about gains and losses.

He wanted to laugh but found it forced. Liu Yu Ru lowered her head, feeling somewhat distressed. After a moment, she said hoarsely, "But Jiu Si, I truly do like you."

She would feel her heart flutter for this person, find joy because of him, be willing to travel a thousand miles for him, and follow him through life and death.

But he wanted too much, and she truly couldn't give it. She wanted to, but matters of the heart were never something she could control. She had never liked anyone this much in her life, but no matter how much she liked this person, she couldn't change who she was.She had only ever been willful in front of this person, and only in his presence had she felt a sense of security.

This was her unique bond, yet he wanted more than just uniqueness.

Gu Jiusi remained silent for a long while before suddenly asking, "Then what are your feelings for Ye Shi'an?"

"He was once a wish of mine," Liu Yuru answered candidly. "When I was young, I always hoped for a better life and would think about how to achieve it. I learned about him through Ye Yun, exchanged a few words with him occasionally, and constantly fantasized about what kind of person he was and what life he might give me. I once thought I liked him very much."

Liu Yuru smiled wryly: "But later I realized that liking someone isn't like this."

"Then what should it be like?"

Liu Yuru fell silent. After a moment, she looked up at him and said calmly, "Like you."

Gu Jiusi didn't speak, stunned by her words.

Liu Yuru lowered her head. She felt somewhat distressed and afraid, but she couldn't show it. Forcing a smile, she restrained her emotions and said, "I know you think I'm teasing you by saying these things—on one hand refusing your request, on the other claiming to like you, making my affection seem insincere. You don't know that I was actually always anxious before."

"Anxious about what?"

"Anxious thinking," Liu Yuru paused, swallowing the sob in her voice and trying to remain calm before continuing, "thinking that I'm not worthy of you. I covet your affection but can't return it in a way that matches yours, so I never wanted to dwell on it deeply. I just thought we're husband and wife, muddling through life. But you," Liu Yuru forced a laugh, barely holding back as her eyes reddened. She sniffled, turned her head away, and said hoarsely, "are so annoying."

He had to make everything crystal clear, had to lay everything out plainly.

Making her understand clearly and seriously—oh, their feelings weren't equal; oh, she wasn't worthy. And what could she do about not being worthy? She couldn't bear to let go, yet feared that if he knew, he would abandon her and leave. She lowered her gaze, her heart filled with fear and sorrow.

She couldn't bear to deceive him, yet knew that speaking these words would hurt their relationship. Gu Jiusi's feelings were passionate and honest, but things that shine too brightly often come and go quickly.

Gu Jiusi remained silent, and she struggled to control her emotions. In truth, she had been suppressing them for a long time—from Yangzhou to here, with Liu Xuan's family in exile, old friends lost and homes destroyed, their homeland gone, familiar faces changed, fleeing all the way to this person who was supposed to be her final refuge. Who would have thought that even a harbor could face storms?

She felt exhaustion and bitterness seeping into her bones, yet she couldn't voice it. All of it accumulated silently in the quiet, finally turning into tears that fell in streams. At that moment, she even prepared herself for what she would do if Gu Jiusi distanced himself because of this.

Gu Jiusi watched her slender body tremble slightly as she bit her lip and wept. He remained silent for a long, long time before suddenly letting out a heavy sigh. He stepped forward and pulled her into his embrace. Liu Yuru heard his laugh and asked hoarsely, "What are you laughing at?"

"I've figured it out. I won't argue with you anymore."

"What have you figured out?" Liu Yuru asked, her eyes red as she looked at him. Gu Jiusi smiled, holding her, and said, "I'm happy that you can cry for me."

"Are you deliberately trying to make me unhappy?""You're willing to cry for me, that means I have a place in your heart." Gu Jiusi rested his head on her shoulder and spoke gently, "When it comes to affection, where is there absolute fairness? As long as you like me and no one else, that's enough for me. I'm a man—I don't calculate as much as you do, nor am I as sentimental. If I like you a little more, I don't mind it; in fact, it makes me happy. That way, I'm the one at a disadvantage, not my darling."

As he spoke, he lifted his eyes to look at her, his gaze full of sincerity: "Don't worry about whether you're worthy or not. As long as you like only me and no one else, my heart will be at ease. We have a lifetime together. The affection I want, I'll earn it myself. If I can't earn it, then it's because I'm not good enough. I won't feel wronged."

"This is you being good to me," Liu Yuru said hoarsely, "I understand that in my heart."

"If you understand, then remember it. Remember every day how good your husband is to you. Keep remembering, and you'll forget all those troubles with your father and others—you'll only remember how good I am. Yuru, it's not that you don't like me enough," Gu Jiusi sighed, "It's just that people's emotions are like having money or not—not everyone is rich. If I have a hundred coins and give you ninety, and you have fifty but give me all fifty, that doesn't mean I've given more than you. Yuru, what you've given me is already more than enough."

He held her tighter and murmured, "I'm content."

"I don't ask for much. Just promise me two things."

"What two things?"

"For this lifetime, like only me."

"And," Gu Jiusi released her, looked into her eyes, and broke into a bright laugh. His smile was radiant and gentle, like clouds parting to reveal sunlight, allowing all living things to see the sky.

He said, "Like me a little more each day."

Like only me, and like me a little more each day—that's enough.