Destined

【BGM: Eternal Chang'an (Cheng Chi)】

Gu Jiusi's sobbing ceased. Liu Yuru looked at the man on the ground and scolded sharply, "What's the use of crying now? Will your tears bring Father back? Will they bring Yang Wenchang back? Will wallowing in self-loathing and despair like this change anything? Gu Jiusi, it's useless! It won't work!"

"You must look forward," Liu Yuru's voice choked with emotion, "You still have me, and your mother. You must move forward, keep looking ahead. You say you regret failing Father, but what about now? If you keep crying like this, drowning in self-blame, are you waiting to say someday that you regret—regret not treating me and your mother properly?!"

"If you want revenge, then go take it," Liu Yuru crouched down, grabbing his collar and forcing him to meet her tear-filled yet bright eyes, "Whatever you want to change, whatever you want to fight for, whatever you want to achieve—you must rely on yourself. Gu Jiusi, I'll be with you every step of the way. What are you afraid of?"

Gu Jiusi didn't speak. He stared blankly at Liu Yuru for a long moment before suddenly reaching out and pulling her into a tight embrace.

He said nothing, simply closing his eyes as all his choked sobs gradually quieted.

They remained like this for a long while. When Liu Yuru saw Gu Jiusi's emotions stabilizing, she stood up and helped him to his feet.

She fetched water for him and wiped his face clean. Finally coming to his senses, Gu Jiusi looked at her for a long time before saying, "I want to return to Yangzhou tomorrow."

Liu Yuru paused in her movements. After a long silence, she lowered her head and murmured assent.

After going out to dispose of the water and returning, she finally asked, "To rescue the prisoner?"

"No."

Gu Jiusi turned to look out the window, his voice hoarse, "To say goodbye."

"He came back voluntarily. Even if I could save him, I couldn't save his entire family. He chose this path—I can't force him otherwise."

Liu Yuru remained silent for a long time before sighing, "His family wouldn't listen to him back then, right?"

"His family never approved of him," Gu Jiusi's voice was raspy. "He probably escaped with his mother, settled her somewhere safe, and then returned."

"He's so foolish," Gu Jiusi laughed through his tears. "So utterly foolish."

Liu Yuru quietly sat beside him and took his hand.

That night, Gu Jiusi barely slept. He spent the hours talking with Liu Yuru about Gu Langhua, about Yang Wenchang and Chen Xun, about his childhood memories.

For some reason, he meticulously and earnestly recalled each of these people. He remembered everything clearly—even the first time he met Yang Wenchang, when he'd mocked the young master for the chrysanthemum embroidery on his clothes, calling it effeminate.

Early the next morning, they applied makeup and attached false beards until they were nearly unrecognizable. Gu Jiusi donned white mourning robes, and they set off for Yangzhou together.

Upon reaching Yangzhou city, Gu Jiusi went to Yang Wenchang's favorite tavern and bought a jar of his beloved "Spring Breeze Smile" wine. Then they waited together outside the prison gates.

Wang Shanquan had ordered all citizens to witness the execution, so the streets were already crowded with people. When the time came, Gu Jiusi and Liu Yuru saw Yang Wenchang.

It was an overcast day. Though morning had come, dark clouds still hung over Yangzhou. Yang Wenchang stood in a cage wearing prisoner's garb, his neck and hands locked in wooden cangues.He looked rather unwell, appearing somewhat haggard, yet he carried his usual air of pride. When he saw the crowd, he laughed aloud and said, "Well now, so many people have come to see me off. It seems I, Yang, am no ordinary man."

No one in the crowd made a sound. The servants of the Yang family wept softly among the people. Yang Wenchang's carriage moved toward the execution ground, yet no one threw anything at him as they would at a prisoner. Everyone watched him quietly, as if bidding farewell to an unspeakable hero.

Yang Wenchang did not seem afraid either. Halfway there, he even began to sing loudly.

Liu Yu Ru and Gu Jiusi followed with their heads lowered, blending into the crowd. They listened as the young man sang familiar tunes, just as he had in the past when they rode horses through the streets together.

He sang of the Yellow River's waters descending from the heavens;

He sang of dappled horses and priceless furs;

He sang of drawing a sword to cut the water, only for it to flow on, and drowning sorrows with wine, only for them to grow deeper;

He sang of bristling with rage in desperate times, gazing into the distance as the rain subsided.

As he sang, the weeping around him grew louder. By the time he knelt, waiting for the blade to fall, he had stopped singing those spirited verses of youth. For the first time in his life, he recalled words that carried far greater weight.

When the empire prospers, the people suffer; when the empire falls, the people suffer.

The area was crowded with onlookers. The Yang family wept uncontrollably. Wang Shanquan sat above, ordering the magistrate to announce Yang Wenchang's crimes.

The rain fell softly. After the magistrate finished reading the charges, Liu Yu Ru found a young beggar nearby. Carrying the "Laughing Spring Breeze" wine that Gu Jiusi had bought, the beggar brought it to Yang Wenchang. Staring at the wine, Yang Wenchang was momentarily stunned. Then, he burst into laughter, leaned forward, and drank it in large gulps. When he finished, Wang Shanquan asked, "Yang Wenchang, do you have any last words?"

"Yes."

Yang Wenchang lifted his head and scanned the crowd, as if searching for someone. His gaze briefly fell upon Liu Yu Ru and Gu Jiusi before shifting away. He then said, "I, Yang Wenchang, once believed that the affairs of this world had nothing to do with me. I thought that by avoiding worldly matters, riding horses, and admiring flowers, I could live a life of elegance. But now I understand that life is like a drop of water—wherever the torrent flows, you are swept along. Everyone struggles desperately within it; no one can escape."

"If there is another life, may I enter the world early and strive to build countless great mansions," Yang Wenchang's voice choked with emotion, "to shelter all the poor scholars under heaven and bring them joy."

His words brought tears to the eyes of many in the crowd.

Gu Jiusi watched him quietly, saying nothing. After a night of weeping, he had found an unusual calm. He watched his childhood friend laugh heartily one last time, then saw the blade rise and fall, the head roll to the ground, and blood gush forth.

Never before had he understood so deeply what it meant to live in turbulent times.

Never before had he felt so keenly how urgent and sincere the wish for "countless great mansions" truly was.

When he had read those words in books before, they had seemed grand and sorrowful, mere characters on a page. But hearing them now, he felt each word pierce his heart with agonizing pain.

The rain continued to fall softly. The crowd began to disperse. The Yang family came forward, weeping, to collect the body. He and Liu Yu Ru remained in the shadows, standing silently.When there was no one left around, he watched the heavy rain wash away Yang Wenchang's bloodstains. He stepped forward, knelt on the ground, and pressed his hand against the blood.

Liu Yuru stood guard nearby as Gu Jiusi let the blood mix with rainwater to soak his palm.

"Wenchang," he spoke aloud, "go in peace. I will fulfill your wishes for you."

May there be thousands of spacious houses, sheltering all the poor scholars of the world with joy.

Gu Jiusi knelt on the ground, solemnly kowtowed three times, then stood up, grabbed Liu Yuru's hand, and left without looking back.

Liu Yuru followed behind him. Gu Jiusi remained calm as they slipped past the city gate guards and left Yangzhou. Outside the city gates awaited the carriage they had purchased earlier.

Since the Gu Family had escaped by water transport, Wang Shanquan had strengthened supervision over boats, requiring the latest official documents for water travel. Therefore, Liu Yuru and Gu Jiusi abandoned the idea of taking the water route and opted for land travel instead.

They had bought a carriage and parked it outside Yangzhou before entering, instructing the coachman to wait for them. Upon their return, Liu Yuru boarded the carriage to check their luggage while Gu Jiusi learned how to drive the carriage from the coachman.

He learned quickly. By the time the coachman dropped them off at the next city, he had mostly mastered it.

They stayed overnight in the city. Although accommodation costs hadn't risen, food expenses had increased significantly. When they entered their room, Gu Jiusi noticed her worried expression and asked, "What's wrong?"

"If food prices keep rising like this, I'm afraid we won't make it to Youzhou."

Gu Jiusi was taken aback. He pressed his lips together and said, "Then let's save as much as we can on other expenses."

"That's all we can do," Liu Yuru sighed.

Gu Jiusi nodded. At night, they slept together. Gu Jiusi lay with his back to her, and Liu Yuru couldn't tell if he was asleep or awake. After some thought, she reached out and embraced him from behind, saying with concern, "If you're sad, talk about it. Don't keep it bottled up."

"It's fine," Gu Jiusi said softly. "Don't worry."

"Jiusi," Liu Yuru pressed her forehead against his back, her voice strained, "Seeing you like this scares me."

Gu Jiusi didn't respond. He stared into the darkness, fully aware of what Liu Yuru feared and worried about, yet unable to put it into words. After a long silence, he finally said, "Yuru, it's not that I don't want to cry. It's just that suddenly, I can't shed tears anymore."

He gazed blankly into the night. "Everyone must grow up eventually. Don't worry, perhaps I..."

"Have just grown up."

Hearing this, Liu Yuru couldn't help but hold Gu Jiusi tighter.

How she wished this man would never grow up, how she wished they could remain as they were before—when people called him a good-for-nothing drunkard, a spoiled noble, arrogant and willful, looking down on everyone.

Anything would be better than now.

She wanted to cry but couldn't. She clenched her teeth, not wanting to disturb him.

Sensing her emotions, Gu Jiusi turned around, pulled her into his arms, and let out a deep sigh.

"Yuru," he felt his eyes sting but continued, "Unpolished jade may be genuine, but polished jade has its own beauty too. Don't grieve for me. In this life, everyone goes through hardships. Remembering their goodness and having experienced it—that is enough.""Wen Chang was right," Gu Jiusi closed his eyes, speaking with pain. "People are like water droplets—where is there true calm to remain untouched? If I don't stand firm, others will have to support me. If that's the case, I'd rather stand on my own."

"This feeling of powerlessness... I never want to experience it again in this lifetime."

"I understand..." Liu Yu Ru spoke softly. "I understand."

That night, he held her tightly, refusing to let go. Liu Yu Ru couldn't tell whether he was warming her or using her as a source of warmth for himself.

The next morning, they rose early. Gu Jiusi drove the carriage while Liu Yu Ru sat inside. Though they had considerable travel funds, Liu Yu Ru, uncertain of what lay ahead, dared not eat much. As Gu Jiusi focused on the journey, she would feed him bite by bite.

Three days later, they left Huainan and set foot in Qingzhou. Between Yangzhou and Youzhou lay two provinces—Qingzhou and Cangzhou. Upon entering Qingzhou, the atmosphere grew noticeably tense. Refugees were everywhere, traveling in groups along the roads. After traveling all day, they finally saw their first city at dusk. Gu Jiusi and Liu Yu Ru entered the city together and inquired about prices at shops, only to find them exorbitantly high. After a moment's thought, they decided to sleep in the carriage and bought a few steamed buns from a shopkeeper.

Gu Jiusi casually chatted with the shopkeeper, "Are all these refugees outside here because of the war?"

"Some are from the war, others from Cangzhou."

"Cangzhou?" Gu Jiusi frowned. The shopkeeper nodded, "Yes, Cangzhou. This year, Cangzhou suffered a severe drought, compounded by the war. The court can't manage it anymore. Refugees are everywhere, alas."

The shopkeeper sighed. Gu Jiusi said nothing more. He took the buns and returned to the carriage with Liu Yu Ru, sighing, "The road ahead is likely to get tougher."

"There's no other way," Liu Yu Ru frowned. "There are no boats around anymore. We have to keep going on foot."

Gu Jiusi nodded silently.

In the following days, as they drew closer to Cangzhou, the number of refugees increased. The streets were often crowded with carriages and refugees mingling together. The refugees desperately chased after carriages, loudly begging for alms.

Neither Liu Yu Ru nor Gu Jiusi dared to give out food. At one point, a woman became particularly desperate, blocking their carriage. Liu Yu Ru, hearing the commotion from inside, rushed out anxiously and shouted, "Let go!"

The woman held a child in her arms, her face devoid of color. She looked pleadingly at Liu Yu Ru, her voice hoarse, "Madam, my child is only two years old. I beg you, please show some mercy..."

Liu Yu Ru's hands trembled slightly as she looked at the woman. She was on the verge of agreeing when, at that moment, a wealthy merchant's carriage ahead suddenly threw out some steamed buns.

Everyone rushed forward. Liu Yu Ru watched as the people surged like madmen, scrambling and fighting over the food. The wealthy merchant standing in front was just a young man. Seeing the refugees climbing onto his carriage, he cried out in panic, "I've given you all the buns! Why are you so insatiable?!"The refugees paid no heed to his words. Liu Yuru watched helplessly as more and more people surged forward, overturning the carriage and dragging the young man down. Everyone clawed at his clothes until he gradually disappeared into the crowd of refugees.

Liu Yuru closed her eyes in anguish.

Gu Jiusi couldn't bear to watch either.

They both knew this young man had been too naive and kind-hearted. When faced with life and death, how could most people still maintain any moral bottom line?

These were starving beasts driven mad by hunger. Once you showed weakness, they would swarm over you, leaving no chance of survival.

Liu Yuru handed the knife to Gu Jiusi, her voice hoarse as she said, "If anyone else tries to attack the carriage, don't show mercy."

Gu Jiusi lowered his gaze and murmured, "I understand."

He tucked the knife at his waist. When the woman who had left earlier suddenly returned, Gu Jiusi swiftly drew the knife and shouted, "Stay back if you value your life!"

The woman was startled. Everyone stared at Gu Jiusi's knife, and after a long pause, they slowly dispersed, clearing a path.

Meanwhile, Liu Yuru sat inside the carriage, breathing heavily, her chest tight with panic.

Being the villain wasn't so easy, was it?

If you were inherently kind, if you were a good person at heart, doing such a thing would torment your conscience, leaving you restless and uneasy.

That night, Liu Yuru and Gu Jiusi didn't dare sleep in the carriage anymore. They finally found an inn. Fortunately, lodging wasn't too expensive these days—it was food that was costly. In the middle of the night, Liu Yuru had a nightmare. She dreamed of the woman from earlier, her child wailing until it gradually stopped breathing. The woman held the child, tears of blood streaming from her eyes, screaming hysterically, "You killed my son! You killed my son!"

Liu Yuru woke up screaming and was immediately pulled into Gu Jiusi's embrace.

"Don't be afraid," Gu Jiusi held her tightly, soothing her. "Yuru, I'm here. Don't be afraid."

Liu Yuru gasped for breath, struggling to lift her head and look at Gu Jiusi. Panicked, she said, "I dreamed of that woman..."

"She's dead... It seemed like she died..."

"Yuru!" Gu Jiusi's sharp call snapped her out of it. Liu Yuru stared blankly at him for a long moment before tears began to stream down her face.

"I'm sorry..."

She sobbed uncontrollably, "I don't know what's wrong with me... I'm sorry..."

She didn't even know who she was apologizing to or why she was crying, and Gu Jiusi didn't ask. He simply watched her, his heart aching at the sight of her tears. He held her close, unconsciously pressing a kiss to her forehead, and whispered gently, "It's alright, Yuru. I'm here. No one can hurt you. I'm here."

Liu Yuru finally calmed down, leaning against Gu Jiusi without saying a word.

After a long while, she spoke in a hoarse voice, "We can't keep the carriage. Continuing like this will make us too conspicuous."

Gu Jiusi understood what she meant.

He acknowledged with a sound.

The next day, they sold the carriage. Instead of taking silver, they exchanged it for a large amount of food. Gu Jiusi even traded for a pouch of wine, which he hung from his belt for emergencies.

After selling the horse, the two began migrating with the refugees. They disguised themselves to blend in perfectly, begging from wealthy merchants by the roadside alongside the others, dressed in tattered clothes.

Halfway to Cangzhou, they noticed the crowds thinning out. The sun grew increasingly scorching, and cracked earth could be seen everywhere.The city of Cangzhou was no longer allowing entry, so they stayed outside the city gates with the other refugees. The night was bitterly cold, and they huddled together for warmth. Liu Yu Ru began to envision aloud when they would finally reach Youzhou and what they would do once they arrived.

Liu Yu Ru was hungry. It had been a long time since she last ate meat, so she kept describing, "I want to open a restaurant and be the owner, so I can eat delicious food every day."

"I want to eat Dongpo pork, sweet and sour pork ribs, mapo tofu..."

"Actually, I also like spicy food. I’d like to hire a chef from Shu..."

Gu Jiusi listened to Liu Yu Ru’s murmurs. He was hungry too. After everyone had fallen asleep, he quietly took a small piece of flatbread from his clothes and handed it to Liu Yu Ru.

Liu Yu Ru took the bread and tried to share it with him. The piece was smaller than the palm of her hand. Gu Jiusi shook his head and said, "I’ve already eaten. You have it."

Liu Yu Ru didn’t believe him. "I didn’t see you eat. How could you have eaten already?"

Gu Jiusi smiled. "I ate it secretly just now. I finished it too quickly for you to notice."

Liu Yu Ru reached out and lightly pushed his head. "Do you think I’m stupid?"

As she spoke, she broke the bread in half and gave one piece to him.

They didn’t dare eat too quickly, so they nibbled at it slowly.

The stars outside the city were exceptionally bright. Against the night sky, accompanied by the summer cicadas’ chirping and the gentle night breeze, there was an inexplicable sense of peace.

Leaning against Gu Jiusi, Liu Yu Ru gazed at the stars in the sky, chewing the bread carefully as she said, "It’s been years since I last looked at the stars."

"You used to watch them before?"

"Yes," Liu Yu Ru replied without hesitation. "When I was a child and had nothing to do, I loved watching the stars. I always wondered whether the stars were inhabited by immortals or the souls of the departed. I once had a younger brother."

Liu Yu Ru suddenly brought this up, surprising Gu Jiusi. "Hmm?" he responded. "And then?"

"He’s gone."

Liu Yu Ru sighed. "My mother said it was an accident, but I’ve always suspected it was the doing of my father’s concubine."

"Actually, I’m afraid of men who have multiple wives and concubines," Liu Yu Ru said, then quickly added, as if remembering something, "It’s not that I’m jealous. I just feel that in marriage, sometimes even your life might not be safe. Women in the inner chambers can be terrifyingly ruthless when they turn cruel."

"Don’t worry," Gu Jiusi chuckled. "I won’t have multiple wives or concubines."

"You’d have to be able to afford them first," Liu Yu Ru blurted out without thinking. "Right now, we have to share a single piece of bread. What would we do if there were more people?"

Gu Jiusi choked back a response. He couldn’t help but say, "Although our situation is a bit tough now, things will get better in the future."

Liu Yu Ru pursed her lips and smiled softly. Gu Jiusi felt a little displeased, thinking she hadn’t taken his words seriously. He insisted, "Don’t look down on me now. Once we reach Youzhou, I’ll find a position. In the future, I’ll make sure you live a life of luxury, eating whatever you want."

"In your mind, do I only care about eating?"

"And money."

Leaning against Gu Jiusi, Liu Yu Ru felt happy just listening to him talk. After a moment of silence, she suddenly said, "What if—I mean, what if—we reached a point where it was life or death, and only one of us could survive? Would you save the last piece of bread or the last sip of water for me?"

Gu Jiusi was taken aback. Liu Yu Ru sighed. "Why did I ask such a question? Don’t mind me, I...""I don't know," Gu Jiusi spoke. Liu Yuru was momentarily stunned. She didn't know why, but she felt somewhat distressed in her heart, yet she understood. However, she then heard Gu Jiusi continue: "What I'm thinking right now is that not only do I want to give you the last sip of water and the last piece of flatbread, but I also wish I could slice my own flesh to feed you and drain my blood to quench your thirst. Even if it costs me my life, I will see you safely back to Youzhou."

"But the human heart is unfathomable." Gu Jiusi lifted his gaze to look ahead. "Vows are easily made, but when the moment truly comes, can one actually fulfill them?"

"I don't know."

He turned his head and smiled faintly. "Perhaps only when that moment arrives will we truly know. And what I'm uncertain of, I will never promise you in this lifetime."

"What I promise you, I will deliver—this much you can rest assured of."