Li Biran was actually intelligent and quick-witted, having managed quite well in junior high. Though he hadn't fully applied himself to his studies, he still put in some effort. Unexpectedly, he performed exceptionally well in the junior high entrance exams, scoring high enough to get into this prestigious private high school—often referred to as an "aristocratic school."
The tuition and living expenses were exorbitant. Although his parents worked in another city, they gritted their teeth and decided: "He must attend." Everything was for their child's future. Now that their son had proven himself by getting into such a good high school, even if it meant spending a large portion of their savings, they would support him.
However, it wasn't until he had lived at the new school for some time that Li Biran truly understood the meaning of "keeping up appearances beyond one's means."
Back at his local high school, he may not have been a standout figure, but he was still someone. Here, what was he worth?
Most of the students here were either wealthy or came from influential families. Their parents were either officials or businesspeople. These kids would buy trendy shoes costing thousands without batting an eye. They replaced their iPhones with every new release. Sometimes, Li Biran would sit at his desk and overhear his deskmate chatting with others:
"Have you bought the iPhone XS yet?"
"I bought two—one for myself and one for my sister."
"But I also want to try the Huawei P20. It looks nice."
"Sure, sure, I'll buy one to play around with too. If it's not good, I'll just give it to our housekeeper."
...
Li Biran suddenly felt that the nearly-new iPhone 8 in his pocket was burning his hand.
That day, he called his parents: "Mom, I want to change my phone."
His mother was taken aback and asked, "Didn't you just get a new one last year?"
Li Biran replied, "All my classmates have the latest ones! The iPhone XS—everyone has one. Why won't you buy it for me?"
His mother whispered, "How much does it cost?"
"About ten thousand."
"..."
Of course, his mother didn't buy him the new phone. When his father found out, he scolded him harshly over the phone: "To send you to this high school, we've spent years of our earnings. Instead of focusing on your studies, you want to change your phone again. Where would we get that kind of money? You're so inconsiderate!"
After hanging up, Li Biran felt a fire burning inside him, utterly frustrated and humiliated. He was furious—directed at what he saw as his indifferent parents, but also, faintly, at himself and everything around him. Xie Huifang, that place that was never truly his home. And the school, those unfamiliar classmates who seemed to live in another world entirely.
Not to mention his first placement exam after entering school, where Li Biran ranked among the bottom ten in his class. He had initially assumed those wealthy kids were all good-for-nothings and had secretly studied before the exam, hoping to make a stunning impression. Instead, the results dealt him a harsh blow. He even felt that the teachers looked at him more coldly compared to those with good grades and wealthy families...
Hah... Don't fucking look down on people.
Li Biran grew to dislike school more and more. He simply couldn't connect with those people. As his first year of high school neared its end, he felt increasingly distant from his classmates. That sense of alienation was like slowly sinking into quicksand—a gradual, deepening feeling of helplessness. You watch it happen but can do nothing, only growing increasingly stiff and numb.As his grades declined and his class-cutting and disciplinary violations increased, so did the scolding and disappointment from his parents. Li Biran felt that Xie Huifang was becoming increasingly fond of issuing orders and treating him less and less like a human being. She controlled everything, keeping a close watch on every matter, almost like an overzealous middle-aged female spy who seemed to eagerly await new evidence each day to prove that "this child is indeed disobedient and hopeless."
Li Biran spent more and more time in internet cafes. Whether it was going to school or returning to what he called "home," both felt like being in prison.
"Fuck, I'll kill you."
"Wanna die?"
"I really feel like killing someone."
...
These phrases were often tossed around by the teenagers, and even adults, in the internet cafes. Even the privileged children at school could say them casually. Sometimes, while gaming in the internet cafe, Li Biran would say them too. Uttering such words actually felt pretty satisfying.
And often, when his teenage mind was muddled and filled with resentment, there would be chaotic, indescribable impulses—a desire to do something, to break free from this goddamn teenage life.
—
Liu Ruoyu had loved reading since he was a child. Picture books, newspapers, textbooks, even dictionaries—he could hold them quietly and read for an entire afternoon. His favorite were detective novels, where the protagonists were clever, cunning, and had a strong sense of justice, always able to control the situation.
That was a life very, very far removed from his own.
He had lived with his uncle since he was young; he had no parents. They had passed away when he was very little, reportedly while working as migrant laborers. In his memory, he had lived with his grandfather for two or three years, but then his grandfather died too. So, he ended up living with his uncle.
His uncle and aunt ran a small breeding farm in the countryside, but it was never as successful as others'. They didn't earn much, and some years they even lost money. The couple often played cards, gambling away thousands of yuan at times, and they would even hit their own children. Liu Ruoyu would always stand silently in the corner during these times, but he still got beaten.
Their children were older and attended high school in the county town as boarders. Liu Ruoyu was still in junior high school in the town, living with his uncle and aunt. Sometimes, when his aunt was too busy playing cards to bother with him, she would buy ten packs of noodles for the house. There was no meat topping, only oil, salt, soy sauce, and vinegar. For several months, Liu Ruoyu would come home from school and cook noodles for himself every day.
He wore his school uniform year-round. He washed it himself, so it was clean and tidy. He had no money to buy books, so he could only borrow from classmates. Later, he heard he could read e-books. He spent half a year collecting scrap to buy the cheapest phone.
When his uncle saw the phone, he asked, "Where did you get this?"
He replied, "I earned it by selling plastic bottles."
His uncle widened his eyes, took the phone, and said, "Not bad, you're growing up and can earn money now." After looking at it for a while, he pocketed it and said, "Focus on your studies. This... I'll confiscate it for now. Kids shouldn't play with phones."
Liu Ruoyu stood there for a moment before walking back to his room.
In the countryside, there was no shortage of space. He had his own small, dark room, barely decorated, with gray walls and a cement floor. He sat silently on his bed for a while, his clenched fists slowly relaxing.
A few months later, when he graduated from junior high, his uncle and aunt prepared a relatively lavish meal one day. His uncle even poured him a glass of rice wine.Auntie forced her usual artificial smile, like a flower of the most vulgar kind, and said, "Our Ruoyu has grown up so much, already earning his own money to buy a phone. How capable."
Uncle clinked glasses with him, appearing quite hearty: "Bottoms up!"
Liu Ruoyu held the small liquor cup and downed it in one go.
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