He had been drinking.
He had drunk a lot.
So, had he run away again?
Thus, the shock and disbelief You Mingxu felt upon seeing You Yingjun suddenly transformed into another, more painful emotion that spread through her heart. Looking at his simple, bewildered appearance now, what surfaced in her mind was actually his cold, resentful demeanor from the daytime. Both images lingered before her eyes simultaneously.
Both were him, they were all him, weren’t they?
But the him now, the him before her eyes, was her You Yingjun. The man who had accompanied her through so many lonely days and nights, loved her with a simple heart, and cherished her more than life itself. You Mingxu choked back a sob and said, "Why did it take you so long to come? Why did you wait so long?"
But he couldn’t speak; he was trembling too. He seemed to understand something, yet seemed utterly confused, understanding nothing at all. Seeing him like this made You Mingxu’s heart ache even more.
She thought, I must have owed him from a past life, I really must. A person like him, with a mind like his, had to come and provoke me, had to cling to me as his last lifeline. Whether awake or confused, he wouldn’t let me go.
She sat on the bed, letting him hold her, neither wanting to push him away nor able to shake off her dazed sorrow.
But what followed was his urgent, fierce kiss—so full of longing, so full of pain, yet so full of joy, as if he sought something from her. He pressed her onto the bed and began to remove her clothes.
You Mingxu steadied herself.
Her body, long unaccustomed to his touch, trembled as soon as he made contact with her skin—a mix of You Yingjun’s intimacy and Yin Feng’s dominance.
But.
But.
A voice in her mind said: This can’t happen… it can’t… When he wakes up, he’ll still be Yin Feng. It’s still him, after all. This is clearly… cheating…
She pushed him away forcefully and said, "Yingjun, listen to me, stop!"
He lifted his head and said, "I don’t want to."
You Mingxu’s heart softened. She touched his face and said, "Don’t be like this. Wait until you remember everything, then we can be together again, okay?"
He stared at her blankly, unsure if he understood or even heard her.
But after a while, he stopped his advances. Instead, he lay down, holding her tightly in his arms, and said, "A Xu, never, ever leave me. No matter what I become, you must remember that it’s my Soul that loves you. Not anything external. I love you, I worship you, I’m willing to die for you. You must always love me, don’t give up on me, don’t leave me alone, living in the darkness."
You Mingxu suddenly burst into tears, choking on her sobs. She covered her face with her hands, lowered her head, and cried aloud. But now he was so gentle, softly kissing away her tears, stroking her hair, and murmuring, "This is my A Xu, this is… my A Xu…"
You Mingxu nodded frantically and said, "Okay, I promise you… I’ll never leave you… never."
He smiled through his tears and said, "I’ll hold you while you sleep. I know you like it when I hold you while you sleep."
You Mingxu hummed in agreement. In that moment, she seemed like a child, held tightly in his embrace, their limbs entwined. He truly did nothing more, just held her, holding her tightly.But he had probably drunk too much. After all the commotion, it wasn't long before You Mingxu heard even breathing coming from behind her. With reddened eyes, she rested her head on his arm, pressing closer to him.
——
When Yin Feng woke again, he saw a sliver of light filtering through the curtains—dawn had just broken.
His head throbbed with the pain of a hangover, something he hadn't experienced in a long time. He knew his brain injury hadn't fully healed, knew he shouldn't have been drinking. But yesterday, he couldn't control himself.
After steadying his thoughts, he noticed someone still lying in his arms—and this wasn't his home.
It was her home.
The home that once belonged to both of them.
Her head rested in the crook of his arm, wearing only a thin nightgown. Her arms and legs were pressed tightly against his. She was still asleep.
Yin Feng had completely blacked out, remembering nothing of what he'd done the night before. Then he discovered something clutched in the hand she was using as a pillow.
Uncurling his fingers, he found a note. The handwriting was achingly familiar—his own.
It read: "Love You Mingxu forever and always. Every day, every hour, love You Mingxu. Never make her angry or hurt her again. Never let her leave again."
He stared at it for a while before crumpling the note tightly in his hand again.
His other arm was still draped over her waist. Yin Feng tried to carefully withdraw it, but she stirred, turning over and opening her eyes.
Their gazes met.
She had recognized who he was.
"You should go." You Mingxu's voice was hoarse, carrying an indescribable weariness.
Yin Feng stared intently at her as she turned away, giving him her back.
In silence, Yin Feng got out of bed. He gathered the clothes scattered across the floor, dressed properly, tucked the note into his pocket, then returned to the bedside to place a gentle kiss on the back of her head.
She remained motionless.
Yin Feng walked out of the house and closed the door behind him.
Then he pressed his hand to his face, closing his eyes for a long moment.
What made me lose control? What made me run away? Is it because I want it too much, too desperately? When did I become so completely lost?
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