After leaving the Duke of Jinwen's residence and boarding the carriage, Xie Zheng did not speak another word.
Changyu attempted several times to break the awkward and peculiar atmosphere, but Xie Zheng sat upright on the other side of the carriage, seemingly resting with his eyes closed. Fearing she might disturb him, she ultimately remained silent as well.
As the carriage passed through the bustling market, a mere curtain separated the noisy, lively outside from the silent, chilly interior.
Changyu sat properly on the soft silk-covered seat, occasionally stealing glances at the person seated opposite her.
Regarding this "brother" who had vanished from her life for over five years and suddenly reappeared, she was somewhat troubled about how to interact with him.
In her younger, more naive days, her earliest impression of Xie Zheng was of Madam Xie holding her and teasingly pointing to a young boy practicing swordplay in the courtyard, laughing as she said, "A Yu, look quickly! Our A Yu's little husband is practicing with his sword!"
As she grew older, whenever she accompanied her mother to the Xie residence, Madam Xie would always cheerfully tease her: "Has my future daughter-in-law come to visit me again?"
Once, she took a liking to Xie Zheng's small wooden sword. The two of them tugged at it from either end, neither willing to let go, their faces flushed with exertion. Madam Xie scolded Xie Zheng: "You foolish boy! Your mother said she’d let A Yu be your wife someday—is this how you bully your own little bride?"
And so, the small wooden sword that Xie Zheng had practiced with for years ended up in her possession.
When her mother admonished her, saying she shouldn’t so rudely demand others' belongings, she returned the wooden sword to Xie Zheng. The boy, still childish in appearance, merely turned his face away and said, "If I gave it to you, it’s yours."
Back then, they were both young and ignorant. Because of Madam Xie’s constant playful remarks, they felt they ought to interact the way their own parents did.
Even though they didn’t live together, it seemed only natural that he should be good to her.
If she caused trouble, it was only right that he should clean up the mess.
Later, when she attended the academy and learned about filial piety, brotherly respect, loyalty, trust, propriety, righteousness, integrity, and shame, she gradually realized that such behavior was improper.
Men and women should maintain proper boundaries unless there were parental arrangements and matchmakers' words.
As for Madam Xie’s frequent teasing remarks, even at a young age, she couldn’t quite determine whether they counted as parental arrangements.
But she rarely troubled Xie Zheng after that, resolving matters on her own whenever possible.
The only time she actively sought Xie Zheng’s help was when she struck the son of Prince Gong.
To this day, she still remembered the boy’s thin yet resilient back as he knelt in the ancestral hall, the torn whip marks and dark red scabs on his clothes, the faint halo of light streaming through the hall’s doorway and falling on his shoulders and dark hair, his pale jaw, and his words: "Consider it venting your anger. This punishment is nothing."
That feeling—as if her heart had been struck by a heavy drum—never occurred again.
But when she went to visit him during his recovery, she overheard him telling Madam Xie that he only saw her as a younger sister.
Though he claimed to see her as a sister, they shared no blood relation whatsoever. Changyu felt they should still maintain a polite and respectful distance.
She treated him politely, yet he seemed displeased, even scolding her once.
The question of how to continue interacting with him left her even more bewildered.
Before she could find the most appropriate approach, she accompanied her mother and Madam Xie back to the capital, while Xie Zheng, rebellious by nature, joined the military camp.
Over the next five years, exchanging letters of mutual concern had been manageable enough.Now that this living, breathing person had suddenly appeared beside her, with looks and temperament completely transformed from before, the question that had troubled her back then seemed even more troublesome now.
Changyu slightly furrowed her brows, and just as her gaze swept over Xie Zheng's face again, the person who had been resting with closed eyes suddenly opened them.
Their eyes met directly.
Changyu cleared her throat and asked, "Is the carriage too bumpy to sleep comfortably?"
The person opposite remained silent for a moment before countering with a question: "Who was that person at Duke Wen of Jin's residence earlier?"
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