The sky was like spilled ink, and all was silent.
The two embraced so closely that they could hear only each other's heartbeats.
Fan Changyu pressed her lips together and suddenly pushed Xie Zheng away with force.
After confirming he was unharmed, the worry that had gnawed at her all this way turned into lingering fear—along with a sudden surge of anger and a sense of grievance she couldn’t quite understand herself.
She demanded, "Maybe I shouldn’t have come. But if you had truly walked into Wei Yan’s trap alone, what would have become of the Xie family? What would have happened to the subordinate generals under your command?"
Xie Zhong had said that Xie Zheng knelt before the ancestral tablets of the Xie Clan’s ancestors and endured one hundred and eight lashes. The image of him collapsing in a pool of blood afterward, his back stripped of intact flesh, unable to even stand, seemed to burn before her eyes.
Perhaps it was the mountain wind that stung her eyes, but a faint redness shimmered in them.
She stared at the man before her, her fists clenched so tightly in her sleeves that they trembled uncontrollably. Struggling to maintain her cold composure, she forced out one last question: "And what about me?"
The words made Xie Zheng abruptly lift his gaze, his pupils flickering almost imperceptibly, as if he couldn’t believe she would say such a thing.
Fan Changyu’s eyes were red-rimmed, her teeth clenched as she glared at him fiercely, like a wounded leopard with nowhere left to run. "From the moment I learned who you were, I never thought of having anything to do with you again. It was you who kept provoking me!"
"Later, you were the one who said we should part ways. With General Xie’s death between us, I didn’t blame you. But after the victory banquet in Lu City, you were also the one who told me—whether my surname was Fan or Meng—you only wanted to be with me properly! And now, are you trying to go back on your word again?"
The emotions that had been bottled up in her chest surged forth like a tidal wave, threatening to drown her reason.
Since childhood, Fan Changyu had rarely shown her grievances in front of others. This was the first time she lost control, shouting at him with raw fury, "Xie Zheng, you bastard!"
Why hadn’t he brought any men with him?
He didn’t have to tell her that today was his mother’s death anniversary. After all, there was no concrete proof that her father was innocent. Bringing along the daughter of someone who might be his parents’ enemy to pay respects—he would feel ashamed before them.
She didn’t blame him for that.
But why had he put himself in danger?
Ever since learning that Xie Zheng had been punished before coming to Lu City to find her, Fan Changyu had understood that Xie Linshan’s death would always weigh on his heart like an unshakable mountain.
He never showed it in front of her, but in secret, he was atoning to his parents in his own way.
Had he come here alone tonight for the sake of "atonement" too?
Fan Changyu had always been slow when it came to emotions. When Xie Zhong mentioned that today was his mother’s death anniversary, she had only been briefly dazed. But now, the sorrow and grievance she had deliberately suppressed broke free from their cocoon, flooding her heart and tightening her throat.
Her eyes burned with unshed tears. She refused to cry, stubbornly refusing to blink, refusing to let the tears pooling in her eyes fall. Xie Zheng’s figure blurred in her vision just a few steps away.
Even though she could no longer see him clearly, she kept her gaze fixed on him, her voice hoarse but resolute. "Without solid evidence, I can’t prove my father’s innocence to you. Maybe we’ll never find proof that reveals the truth. That means my father might always be the one who helped Wei Yan kill General Xie."
"If you stay with me, you’ll spend the rest of your life drowning in guilt, trapped in pain and regret."The chest felt as if a cold wind had torn open a gaping hole, icy and piercingly painful.
Fan Changyu's throat was so parched it ached, the single tear she had been holding back in her eyes spilled over her eyelid and rolled down like shattered pearls, not even lingering on her face.
She took a deep breath and said, "Rather than this, perhaps we should just separate. I don't want this. Watching you suffer alone in agony, my heart feels no better. Maybe you shouldn't have come back for me in the first place. Sometimes, a clean break is better than prolonged pain... Mmm—"
Before she could finish her sentence, someone suddenly grabbed her by the neck and slammed her hard against the trunk of a cypress tree as thick as a bowl in front of the tomb.
Her back ached fiercely, but Fan Changyu had no time to care.
Xie Zheng's scorching breath was right before her. His eyes were bloodshot, his jaw clenched tightly, fierce and savage, like a beast on the verge of madness.
The hand gripping her throat was taut with veins, the force behind it terrifying.
He lowered his head to look at her, as if struggling to control his emotions, to stop himself from harming her. The last shreds of reason wrestled with the black fury roaring in his chest as he spoke with difficulty and resolve, "Don't say such things again..."
For a moment, there was unmistakable hatred in his gaze.
"You're right to call me a scoundrel. Even in death, I'd drag you into my coffin. And you talk to me about separating?"
He let out a soft laugh, his blood-spattered face ethereally beautiful yet deathly pale under the moonlight. Suddenly, he lowered his head and bit down savagely on her shoulder, his eyes filled with near-mad love and desperate resolve.
Fan Changyu gasped in pain, trying to struggle, but he pinned her against the tree with unyielding force.
When Xie Zheng raised his head again, the strands of hair on his forehead were tousled by the wind, his lips stained with blood, his features even more strikingly beautiful—like the demons from folklore that emerged at night to feast on human essence.
He murmured lowly, "Separate? Fan Changyu, why haven't I just chewed you up and swallowed you piece by piece?"
Fan Changyu lifted her eyes, staring at him expressionlessly. Just as he raised a hand to touch her face, she suddenly struck, erupting with force as she seized his wrist and flipped him over with all her might.
Caught off guard, Xie Zheng was thrown to the ground by her brute strength, his back hitting the stone tiles before the tomb with a dull thud.
Before he could rise, Fan Changyu pounced on him like a leopard, one hand locking his throat, her legs pinning his waist, restraining him as firmly as he had restrained her earlier.
She spat through gritted teeth, "Then who was it who knew Wei Yan was watching him yet still came alone to this graveyard, walking right into the trap?"
"You resent my identity, refuse to tell me—couldn't you at least bring more guards?"
By the end, her voice cracked slightly with suppressed emotion. "You feel guilty and remorseful toward General Xie and Madam Xie when you're with me—do you think my heart feels any better?"
Xie Zheng gazed up at the fierce, disheveled girl pinning him down, her hand locked around his throat, and for a moment, he was stunned. Finally understanding the reason behind her earlier words, he raised a hand to press against her back, pulling her forcefully toward him. "It's not what you think..."
Fan Changyu broke free from his embrace, sitting up to glare at him hatefully. "Then tell me what it is."Xie Zheng, having his hand shaken off by Fan Changyu, didn't get up but lay flat on the green brick ground before the tomb, gazing dimly at the dark night sky as he said, "I never told you about my mother, did I?"
"Not long after my father's coffin returned to the capital, she hanged herself. I was four that year. On the day she died, she made me osmanthus cake, wore her favorite clothes, and painted her brows and lips before the mirror. She coaxed me out to eat the cake, and by the time I returned, she was already a corpse hanging from the beam."
Fan Changyu was stunned.
"She entrusted me to Wei Yan, and I spent sixteen years living under someone else's roof in Wei Mansion. As a child, Wei Yan's precious son stuffed snakes into my bedding in the height of summer and poured cold well water on my bed in the dead of winter. He also tore up the homework assigned by my tutor..."
"Every time that happened, I would think of her and hate her—hate her for being the matriarch of a great family yet too weak to bear the responsibilities, hate her for being a mother yet abandoning me without fulfilling her duties. On countless nights, I saw the hem of her bright skirt dangling beneath the beam in my nightmares."
Xie Zheng smiled bitterly: "I thought Wei Yan hated me because I was greedy for that plate of osmanthus cake and left my mother, giving her the chance to hang herself. In truth, I hated myself too..."
Hearing him recount his childhood experiences in such a calm tone, as if speaking of someone else's affairs, Fan Changyu unconsciously clenched her hands resting on her knees.
She had only heard from Zhu Youchang that Madam Xie died to protect Xie Zheng and the old Xie family members who participated in exposing Wei Yan, but she hadn’t known there were so many misunderstandings between Xie Zheng and his mother.
When her own parents died unexpectedly, she wouldn’t have pulled herself together so quickly if not for Changning.
He lost both parents in childhood—it must have felt like the sky had collapsed. Blaming himself for his mother’s death while enduring abuse in Wei Mansion...
Fan Changyu recalled how, upon hearing she had once given Song Yan a pair of clay figurines as a child, he had demanded she make him a pair too.
At the time, she had thought him childish, but now she understood a little.
Precisely because he had never received any warmth or comfort growing up, he had wanted even the clay figurines she’d given Song Yan.
Her heart ached fiercely.
Fan Changyu looked at the man lying beside her, reached out, and gently touched his head, saying, "Madam Xie’s death wasn’t your fault."
Xie Zheng mocked himself: "I hated her for seventeen years before learning she died for me."
"I didn’t tell you today was her death anniversary not because of your identity, but because I hadn’t figured out how to face her..."
Fan Changyu’s heart was in turmoil as she whispered, "I’m sorry."
She had misunderstood him.
Xie Zheng turned his head to look at her and smiled. "Why apologize? I never told you these things—your misunderstanding was inevitable."
He sat up, knees bent, the contours of his shoulder and back muscles evident beneath his robes. "Did Xie Zhong tell you I was here?"
Afraid he would blame the lame old man, Fan Changyu quickly said, "After visiting Uncle Zhu, I couldn’t find you and asked him myself."
Xie Zheng said, "His mouth grows looser by the day."
Fan Changyu pressed her lips together. "He was worried about you. No matter what, coming alone to pay respects to Madam Xie was too dangerous."Xie Zheng lowered his eyes without speaking. The moonlight outlined the contours of his profile, revealing a hint of cold rigidity and stubbornness.
Fan Changyu thought he was still upset about Madam Xie's matter and didn't press further, only saying, "As long as nothing happened, it's fine."
Xie Zheng suddenly spoke: "When I came to pay respects to Mother before, he taught me not to bring others."
Fan Changyu asked in confusion, "Who?"
But Xie Zheng said no more. He stood up and turned to face his parents' gravestones, kneeling to kowtow three times.
Changyu privately speculated about the person he had mentioned. After much thought, the only possible candidate was Wei Yan.
She was secretly startled, wondering why he would still remember Wei Yan's words from the past, knowing full well that Wei Yan was the enemy who had caused his parents' deaths.
But then she considered that Wei Yan was, after all, his uncle. For over a decade, Xie Zheng had regarded him as his only remaining family in this world—even becoming the most effective blade in Wei Yan's hands.
No matter how harshly Wei Yan had treated Xie Zheng, he had never deprived him of martial training or education.
Even now that they were enemies, Xie Zheng probably still harbored unusual feelings toward Wei Yan.
Watching his tall, lean silhouette, Fan Changyu felt particularly complex emotions.
After finishing his kowtows, Xie Zheng stood up and suddenly turned to Fan Changyu. "Kowtow to my parents," he said.
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