Chasing Dreams

That was the scent of the sea.

The tide ebbed and flowed, the wind carrying the fresh, slightly salty moisture. Under the moonlight, the surging ocean resembled a vast, translucent piece of dark jade. With each step, she sank deeper, the cool, silky seawater eagerly embracing her inch by inch until it submerged her entirely. Though she had left the seaside years ago, she still faintly remembered that gentle touch.

Yet, the moment she slipped into the water, her body arched taut like a drawn bow from a sudden surge of pain. Winding wounds split open like crimson cords deeply embedded in her skin.

"Madam!" someone exclaimed, grabbing her arm to prevent her from sinking. After a momentary tension, her entire body went limp, like a puppet with its strings cut, unable even to support the weight of her own head.

Yu Ran paid no mind to the splashing water, quickly freeing her other hand to cradle the woman's shoulder and gently gather the satin-like wet strands clinging to her cheeks. As her fingers combed through the tangled hair, the delicate face that emerged made Yu Ran gasp silently. The woman had eyes like pearls with pupils of obsidian, lips like coral, and skin of clear gold—yet she lacked any expression of a living person. If not for the vivid purple and red bite marks covering her exposed shoulders and neck, Yu Ran might have thought she was holding a statue.

She scooped up pool water to carefully wash the woman's skin, and a faint crimson quickly diffused into the milky water. Yu Ran sighed softly. The woman, she had heard the palace maids gossiping about last night, was said to be the adopted daughter of the Chief Steward of the Phoenix Court, raised as a boy. She had placed third in the military imperial examinations and was known for years as the sworn brother of Fang Zhuoying, the former commander of the Imperial Guard who had conspired against the emperor. She must have had martial skills—what kind of night could have left her so battered and bruised? At dawn, when the sky was still dark, the Emperor had emerged from the main bedchamber, hastily dressed, and summoned the Master of Rites from the Rear Palace Administration. Yu Ran, who had been sleepless in the side chamber all night, hurried over to assist the Emperor in changing his clothes, but he shook his head and said, "Aunt Yu, go inside and attend to the lady." Having served in the palace for over thirty years, even the Emperor addressed her as "Aunt Yu," and she was no stranger to the intrigues of the inner court. The unusual sounds she had heard during the night had already given her a fair idea of what had transpired. Yet, when she pushed open the door and stepped into the main bedchamber, the sight that met her eyes made her cover her mouth silently with a handkerchief.

The main bedchamber looked as if it had been swept through by a whirlwind, with soft brocade quilts and mattresses scattered across the floor. Three to five of the twenty-four floor-to-ceiling gauze curtains were torn to shreds, but there was no one in sight. After staring for a long while, Yu Ran finally noticed a woman's bruised and purple shoulder protruding from a mountain of black dragon-patterned satin quilts. She rushed over and carefully lifted the quilt, only to meet a pair of wide-open eyes—deep, vacant, and scattered, like a pool of clear, devouring stagnant water.

When Yu Ran led several palace maids to carry the woman to the Nine-Lotus Pool, the Emperor was standing with his arms outstretched as the court ladies dressed him. Yu Ran couldn't help but glance at him, and a chill ran down her spine. The Emperor's appearance was as composed as ever, without even the slightest scratch.

"It hurts..." the woman murmured in her unconscious state.

Yu Ran quickly cupped the woman's face and called out, "Madam!" The thick, dark eyelashes fluttered slightly, and the woman opened her eyes, her gaze dazed and confused."Mother... it hurts so much." Yu Ran could tell from the woman's unfamiliar accent, reminiscent of a southern dialect, and her faint, indistinct murmurs that she was crying out in pain. Summoning her courage, Yu Ran gently comforted, "Madam, I know it hurts. Though this pearl infusion stings the wounds, it has miraculous healing and scar-removing properties. Please endure just a little longer." The dazed gaze gradually focused on Yu Ran’s face, sharpening into clarity. Haishi shifted her line of sight and saw the middle-aged woman before her, dressed in the attire of a palace court lady.

"...Madam?" she asked weakly, her voice as faint as a wisp of silk.

Relieved to hear her speaking in the official dialect, Yu Ran smiled gently. "Congratulations, Madam. Today, His Majesty issued an edict bestowing upon you the title of Pure Consort, with the special designation 'Consort Pearl-Measure.' Like the Virtuous Consort, you now hold the rank of one of the Three Consorts, second only to the Empress in honor." "Consort Pearl-Measure?" Haishi repeated blankly.

"The Chief Steward of the Phoenix Court sent over a full measure of rare mermaid tears this morning, saying that in your childhood, you encountered an immortal, and these pearls were a dowry gifted to you by the merfolk. His Majesty was in the midst of dictating the edict to the ceremonial officials and, delighted by this auspicious omen, bestowed this special title upon you and granted you a pearl-infused bath." Childhood encounter with an immortal.

Haishi’s body stiffened abruptly. She gritted her teeth as if to summon strength, but in the end, she could muster none and had to continue leaning her full weight on Yu Ran.

In the early days after leaving the seaside, whenever she closed her eyes, she would see the deep blue sea churning into towering whirlpools. Night after night, she suffered from convulsive nightmares. It was he and Zhuoying who took turns caring for her, never entrusting her to others, all to ensure no one overheard her delirious murmurs. That measure of mermaid tears was also locked away in the storeroom by him, hidden from the light of day for a full eleven years, never allowing her to lay eyes on it again, so as not to reopen her old wounds. She had thought it was a secret buried deep in the hearts of the three of them. Unspoken for so long, she had almost convinced herself that she was merely an orphan, parentless, adopted by him on a whim.

But what had been handed over was not just her still-beautiful body. He had laid bare the side of her she wished to keep hidden, allowing those old wounds to fester and steam with poison and blood under the glaring light of day.

Exhausted, Haishi shut her eyes tightly, no tears left to shed.

Yu Ran, too, found it difficult to say more and could only continue supporting Haishi’s shoulders, washing her wounds. Streaks of blood rose to the water’s surface, dyeing the entire pool a pale red.

Haishi clenched her jaw, enduring the fiery pain all over her body, but then she caught a familiar, fresh, and slightly salty scent. Puzzled, she opened her eyes and looked around. The water she was bathing in was as milky white as cow’s milk, but upon closer inspection, the water itself was a clear, pale green, densely scattered with minuscule starlike specks that refracted rainbow colors in the sunlight. Though she had left the seaside over a decade ago, Haishi was, after all, a child of pearl divers. She couldn’t help but gasp softly in astonishment.

"This is seawater... and... crushed pearls..." Trembling, she lifted a hand and stirred the water, her eyes filled with resentment and disbelief. "Could it be that the annual pearl tribute is all for—" She paused, her hoarse, feeble voice finally erupting, "Every year, how many people die at sea for the pearl tribute, all for..." Haishi couldn’t finish. She buried her face deeply into the water. Beneath the milky pearl infusion, something glimmered faintly.Yu Ran, bewildered, reached out a hand and felt downward, lifting Haishi’s hand from the water. A white glow spread across her palm, revealing the characters "Langhuan." Startled, Yu Ran abruptly released her grip, splashing water across her face, and Haishi slipped straight down toward the bottom of the pool.

"Madam!" Yu Ran hastily stepped into the water fully clothed, groping around until she found Haishi, lifting her up and urgently patting her cheeks.

Though Haishi’s limbs were weak, her gaze was deep and lucid. Pearlescent powder clung to her brows and lashes, shimmering enchantingly. "Don’t worry, I just have no strength. Seawater cannot drown me." Yu Ran breathed a sigh of relief and was about to help Haishi toward the edge of the pool when a clear, leisurely male voice sounded from behind.

"Yu Gu, go change out of your wet clothes." Yu Ran gasped, turning around while still holding Haishi. "Your Majesty, Chief Fang..." Haishi leaned against Yu Ran’s chest, watching the newcomers. Her radiant face was marked by pupils as dark as lacquer—two deep black spots, devoid of spirit or light.

"Yu Gu." Emperor Di Xu’s tone sharpened slightly.

"Yes..." Yu Ran replied in a fluster, unsure how to get Haishi to the pool’s edge. Di Xu shifted his gaze to the man beside him. Fang Zhu bowed respectfully and then walked calmly toward the poolside, his expression as composed as it had been on any day over the past fourteen years.

The hem of his dark green eunuch’s robe brushed silently before her eyes. The Chief of the Phoenix Court bent down in front of Yu Ran and extended a hand.

Yu Ran handed the woman’s arm over to Fang Zhu, then hurriedly stepped out of the Pearl Bath Pool and withdrew with a bow.

"Madam, please emerge from the bath." His warm, mellow voice echoed through the silent hall of the Nine-Linked Pools.

Haishi’s eyes met his, yet she did not truly see him.

"I have no strength," she said, parting her delicate lips. Those lips were slightly upturned, and even though their owner’s eyes were as hollow as stagnant water, they still appeared willfully and strikingly red.

"This servant will support you, Madam." She remained silent, offering no objection. With a slight increase in his strength, her body emerged inch by inch from the milky pool water, unexpectedly light.

In his eyes, a thread-like string gradually tightened.

Her once honey-gold complexion was now drained of vitality, replaced only by stark, bruised shades of red, ochre, and white. These colors suddenly reminded him of the thirty-fourth year of Lin Tai. That year, holding the small Zhuo Ying in his arms, he had looked back from horseback at the Red Medicine Plain after the fierce battle between two armies. All he saw was the white of snow and the red of blood—a scene of utter devastation. Just like her body before him now.

Two scars slanted downward beneath his left eye, and the fine, delicate tooth marks at the corner of his lips looked as though they could have been made by a child or a woman. Haishi’s fingers, resting on his arm, suddenly tightened, her face filled with panic.

Memories seeped into her blank consciousness like a drop of ink, expanding at a terrifying speed, wrapping her once more in darkness.

She had once believed that since her heart had died, her body would follow, becoming numb and unfeeling. But her body still resisted.

On a night of raging wind and snow.

She struggled to escape the weight pressing down on her. If Di Xu hadn’t swiftly turned his head, her fingers would have gouged out the eyes of this ruler of the nation. When met with an unyielding kiss, she bit down without hesitation. That person had lured her back to the capital with a forged marriage certificate and ended her future with a precisely aimed arrow. At the very least, she would leave an indelible mark on the emperor he so stubbornly protected. Desperately, she tore and clawed, as if with enough force, she could shred this horrifying night.Yet those scars ultimately fell upon him.

The answer she had long sought was now before her. Just one more moment, and she could pierce through the mist to touch the soul he had so deeply concealed. But she hesitated. Even a faint glimpse of it was already too painful for her to bear.

Fang Zhu avoided her gaze, taking a robe to drape over her. The cool, smooth white silk clung to her wounds, where blood mingled with water, blooming into crimson blossoms. He knelt on one knee, his slender, elegant fingers straightening her collar. Where their skin touched, she felt his icy coldness.

Time swiftly reversed, and from the depths of her memory, a night like this seemed to resurface. That night, he had tied up her hair, fastened the five-colored silk ribbons one by one, and adorned her with a steel dagger and a gold-inlaid Suanni waist token. She had stretched out her arms like an exquisite doll, letting him wrap her layer by layer in gauze and brocade. The fingers that had gently brushed her cheeks were once so steady and warm.

"Alright, Jianming, the envoy from Nihualuo is likely arriving soon. Go and stall for half an hour for me. No need to tie the sash." Emperor Xi watched as Haishi's knuckles turned white in an instant, his dark eyes glinting with cold mockery. "No, make it an hour." Fang Zhu's hands, holding the sash of Haishi's robe, paused mid-air for a moment before finally releasing it. He turned to leave—but suddenly, his expression shifted.

Haishi, her head bowed, timidly yet firmly grasped the hem of his robe. Since childhood, she had possessed a boyish spirit, bold and unrestrained. In eleven years, this was only the second time he had seen her so terrified—the first being when they had first met.

She lifted her head, her dark, pleading eyes like two holes burned through silk.

A shuddering pain pierced his heart like an arrow. It was as if he were seeing her six-year-old self again—light and delicate as a feather, yet resilient and cunning as a young wolf—emerging from the encirclement of a dozen pursuing soldiers, covered in wounds, and throwing herself into his embrace.

In Emperor Xi's eyes, a faint, elusive smile flickered.

The old scar by Fang Zhu's lips tightened abruptly, as if sealing a heavy resolve. His hand moved toward the one clutching his robe. Then, slowly and firmly, he closed his fingers, gripping his own robe, and pulled it back inch by inch from her grasp. He then turned and left.

And so, her spirit seemed to withdraw from her body inch by inch. The world before her crumbled and weathered away in silence, carved beams and painted pillars turning to dust, the pearl-white pool drying up in an instant. The world had abandoned her, leaving behind only a vast, endless void.

"Understood?" The voice was cold, but the fingertips were warm, tracing leisurely along her jawline and lingering by her lips.

Haishi jolted awake, gasping sharply as she stepped back.

Emperor Xi smiled and advanced a step. "Jianming will never defy me." Haishi retreated another step, her foot already on the submerged staircase.

Emperor Xi raised a hand to his lips, biting down on the back of it. Then, with a malicious and arrogant smile, he extended that hand to Haishi. The skin was smooth and unblemished, without even a trace of teeth marks."This wound will not remain on my body, and the blood that flows is not mine either." Haishi retreated several steps in succession, accidentally stepping on the hem of her robe. Just as she was about to fall into the waist-deep water, Emperor Xu rushed forward, catching her by the waist and holding her firmly. His bewitching eyes fixed on her. "Do you know why?" A cold, sharp smile rippled in his eyes. "What achievement do you think Fang Jingfeng accomplished at the founding of this dynasty to become the first non-imperial duke? Why do you think every generation of the Fang family's Qinghai Duke heirs has been sent to the palace to be raised alongside the princes? Since Fang Jingfeng, the Qinghai Duke title has been passed down for exactly fifty-three generations, and the Chu imperial lineage has also passed down for exactly fifty-three generations. Why?" His icy gaze pressed closer to Haishi. "For over 670 years, almost none of the Qinghai Dukes have lived to a natural old age. They died in battle, from illness, drowning, poisoning, struck by lightning, or sudden unexplained deaths—their deaths were bizarre and varied, leaving behind families of widows and orphans. Why?—Because the Fang family are not military generals; they are a secret arts lineage, the Bo Xi of the Chu imperial family." Haishi's cool gaze met Emperor Xu's handsome, spirited face but she remained silent.

"Exactly, that kind of Bo Xi—the cypress wood dolls used by common folk to bear disasters and ward off illnesses on behalf of others. However, ordinary Bo Xi are lifeless; once broken, they are discarded. But these living Bo Xi bleed and die, so they must be cherished and used with great care." Haishi closed her eyes and furrowed her brow. When she opened them again, tiny flames flickered in her pupils.

Emperor Xu continued unhurriedly, "The Qinghai Fang bloodline is unique. For generations, they have served as the Bo Xi of the Chu emperors, and only the sons of the Fang family can become the emperor's Bo Xi. The bond between the emperor and the Qinghai Duke is often closer than that of blood relatives, and the Qinghai Duke heirs have always been raised alongside the crown prince. After each emperor ascends the throne, a life-extending secret ritual is performed, and the Qinghai Duke becomes the Bo Xi from that moment on, bearing all the emperor's illnesses, natural disasters, and curses on his behalf. The eternal glory and vast territories belong to the emperor, while the Qinghai Duke receives wealth, clan privileges, and renown—along with double the calamities and suffering. As long as the Qinghai Duke lives, the emperor cannot die. Sometimes, if the Qinghai Duke dies while the emperor still lives, no new Bo Xi can be sought. At that point, the emperor must bear his own misfortunes."

"The previous Qinghai Duke outlived Emperor Xiu by six years," Haishi remarked.Emperor Di Xu revealed a cold, sharp smile. "Such things do happen occasionally. At that time, nine out of the fourteen provinces nationwide, including the three adjacent to Liushang County, had raised the banner of rebellion. If the old Duke Qinghai had been killed first, my father would have inevitably met the same fate. Under Chu Fengyi's coercion, the old Duke Qinghai, in order to preserve the strength of the Liushang army, had no choice but to feign agreement to join the rebels. Following Chu Fengyi's orders, he broke the life-prolonging covenant, causing my father to die from the backlash of the spell—though it was publicly declared an illness. Among the fifty-three emperors of this dynasty, seventeen have died from the backlash of a broken life-prolonging covenant." Hai Shi sneered, "The Fang family has also sacrificed fifty-two Dukes Qinghai for your Chu clan. As for dealing with those rebellious proxies, your methods are hardly any more merciful." "True. Our two families," Emperor Di Xu scoffed lightly, "are less bound by deep ties and more by a mountain of blood debts, locked in an endless cycle of vengeance, forever inseparable." "But my adoptive father is already a eunuch. The Fang family was wiped out during the Yi Wang Rebellion and will have no heirs." Hai Shi pushed back slightly but could not break free from Emperor Di Xu's embrace.

Emperor Di Xu continued unhurriedly, "Jianming was supposed to be Boyao's proxy. When my father died suddenly, he had no time to pass this secret to Boyao, who then cowardly took his own life. The old Duke Qinghai died in battle, and the Fang family was exterminated in the thirty-second year of Lintai, two years before I ascended the throne. The battle beneath Tongping City that year was second in ferocity only to the later Battle of Hongyao Plain. The scene was as if the entire mortal world had plunged into a sea of blood. I was severely wounded on the battlefield, hovering between life and death. Amolan risked his life to drag me back from enemy lines. At that time, Jianming was commanding the Eastern Army, cut off from the main camp. After a day and a night, he finally completed the encirclement and annihilated the rebels, rejoining the main forces. Boyao was pedantic, Shuyun died young, and Ji Chang's mother, Consort Nie, had vied for favor with my late mother for years. Only Jianming, since childhood, was closest to me, surpassing even my own brothers a hundredfold. When he learned I was near death, he charged straight into the central command tent on horseback and, without even removing his armor, tended to me for thirteen days. When I awoke, there wasn't a single scar on my body, while Jianming lay unconscious on the ground, a bloody, mangled arrow wound in his chest—the very one that should have been mine. He bore the agony of my severe injury, claiming to have contracted a grave illness, and remained bedridden for half a year before recovering. Those wounds on Jianming should rightfully have been half on me." Feeling the woman in his arms grow even more rigid, he smiled with a clear, cruel expression and continued his merciless account.

"Zhixing and Qiqi were killed by me. Before I dealt with Amolan, Dacheng, and Su Ming, Jianming stopped me. He always felt he owed me and insisted on doing these things himself to keep my hands clean." His slender index finger traced the side of Hai Shi's neck, avoiding the gold thumb ring inlaid with aqua-green glass hanging from a chain around her throat, and glided downward with leisurely gentleness. Hai Shi's face turned deathly pale, her lips tightly pressed together as she trembled faintly."I have saved his life and he mine, not once or twice. Yet since childhood, his nature has always been this gentle and steadfast—never dwelling on favors given, never forgetting kindness received. No matter how tedious the task, if it was for my sake, he would endure and execute it flawlessly. As for the Chu emperors of future generations, he cared not at all. Whether as brothers, comrades, ruler and subject, or as the cypress vessel, what he did for me far exceeded duty or obligation. But surely, Jianming also grew weary of this cycle of mutual indebtedness spanning generations, weary of shackling two great families together, forever bound without freedom. He was wiser than I—he simply severed the Fang bloodline and broke the chains. From now on, there will be no more cypress vessels for emperors." Emperor Xu suddenly laughed and swept her up into his arms.

"Let's go. We can't meet the Niwaro envoys drenched like this." The consort, at sixteen, served in male attire guarding the frontier; the following year, she accompanied the emperor on the winter hunt. Enchanted by her beauty, he summoned her to the palace, honored her as the Pure Consort, and cherished her deeply.

—Chronicles: Imperial Consorts · Empress Dowager Huanyi