The implication was that she would leave after he fell asleep.
Cui Jinbai thought he wouldn't be able to sleep, but under her gentle gaze, he found himself unable to resist the heaviness of his eyelids. He struggled to stay awake repeatedly, but ultimately couldn't overcome the drowsiness brought on by his physical weakness.
In truth, Bu Shulin had lit the Spirit Consolidation Incense given by Shen Xihe in the room. It had a hypnotic effect but could make one sleep soundly, waking up refreshed and full of energy.
When Cui Jinbai awoke, he indeed felt much more comfortable. During his sleep, Bu Shulin had even invited Xie Yunhuai to examine Cui Jinbai's pulse and prescribe medicine. As soon as he woke up, someone brought him the medicinal soup. Initially unwilling to drink it, he changed his mind when the servant said, "Worldly Son Bu personally brought this."
He then picked up the bowl and drank it all in one go without even furrowing his brow.
After finishing the medicine, he washed up and changed into clean clothes. Just as he was about to tie up his hair, Yinshan arrived: "Cui Shaoqing, the Worldly Son has sent me to invite you for a conversation."
Without caring about his disheveled hair, Cui Jinbai stood up and approached Yinshan, signaling for him to lead the way.
Yinshan merely glanced at Cui Jinbai's loose hair and said nothing as he led him to Bu Shulin.
Dusk had fallen, with stars dotting the night sky. A gentle breeze stirred, and lanterns flickered.
As Cui Jinbai walked onto the Nine-Bend Long Corridor, he saw numerous lanterns hanging on both sides, making him feel as if he had returned to that Lantern Festival years ago. It was on that day, amid flashing blades and clashing swords, that he had clearly understood his feelings for her.
The candlelight shone through the colorful lanterns, casting fragmented glows that adorned the deep courtyard like a dream.
In the lakeside pavilion, a small table was set. Bu Shulin knelt on one side, facing the approaching path. Hearing faint footsteps, she watched him walk step by step toward her. This was the first time Bu Shulin had seen Cui Jinbai with his hair down.
For a nobleman, dignified demeanor and neat attire were ingrained principles of upbringing. Especially when receiving guests, appearing with disheveled hair was considered extremely disrespectful—only in the presence of close family could one be slightly more casual. Bu Shulin's eyes flickered in the multicolored candlelight.
Cui Jinbai had already approached her. She raised her usual frivolous smile and pointed to the opposite side: "Sit."
His gaze followed her fingertips to the prepared cushion. Cui Jinbai sat down with graceful composure.
Yinshan led away Cui Jinbai's servant, leaving only the two of them in the quiet night.
Bu Shulin poured him a cup of tea: "Your injuries haven't healed yet, so you shouldn't drink alcohol. Brewing tea and chatting freely can also be a pleasure."
His deep eyes fixed intently on her, Cui Jinbai asked, "What do you want to talk to me about?"
After waking up, Cui Jinbai had come to a realization: if she had something to say, he could avoid it today but not tomorrow.
The smile on Bu Shulin's lips remained unchanged. She naturally rotated the teacup in her hand, took a sip with a smile, and then said, "I adore you."
Cui Jinbai's pupils dilated instantly. He had prepared for the worst—her sarcasm, her aloof indifference, her disgust and anger—but he had never expected her to confess her feelings to him!
His heart, which had sunk to the depths, suddenly soared to the heavens. His entire body went weak, a tingling sensation spreading throughout.
"But I am going to marry."
What does it mean to be in heaven one moment and hell the next?
His fervent heart was still surging when bone-chilling ice poured down overwhelmingly, leaving his still-burning heart struggling helplessly in the freezing cold.After great joy comes profound sorrow, Cui Jinbai's expression was indescribable.
Bu Shulin lowered her gaze: "Zhi He, my father is fading fast. Soon I must return to Shu. I cannot let the Bu family line die out. My father's final wish is for me to have an heir."
She would not abort this child. She had decided to give birth to it. Whether boy or girl, it would become the young master of the Shu Southern Royal Manor.
An invisible force seemed to choke Cui Jinbai's throat, leaving him unable to speak, his pale lips trembling.
She didn't know what choice would be best for Cui Jinbai. From beginning to end, she had selfishly calculated only for herself and the Bu family. She admitted she cherished Cui Jinbai, but this affection wasn't enough to make her lose her reason, to gamble with the Bu family and Shu.
What meaning was there in confessing to Cui Jinbai? She still needed to enter a false marriage. Even if she confessed that the marriage was merely a facade, could they truly stay together?
How naive. Once Your Majesty began to suspect her identity, her every move would be closely watched. If she could retreat safely to Shu, she might find respite—but what about him? What about the Cui family?
If they didn't sever ties, and he learned they shared a blood-related child, how could he restrain himself? Once Your Majesty noticed, would he not use Cui Jinbai to threaten her? What would she do then? Expose her identity to save him? Or coldly abandon him without a second glance?
Either outcome would only deepen their wounds, pushing them into an irreversible abyss.
Cui Jinbai's chest tightened with a stabbing pain. He had considered how difficult it would be for two men to be together. Bu Shulin had even said she would never let the Bu family line end. Back then, he could generously claim not to mind, but now he found himself unable to say those words.
So it was true—even mutual affection couldn't guarantee lasting togetherness.
The bright candlelight made his eyes red-rimmed. After a long, long silence, Cui Jinbai finally spoke in a hoarse voice: "I'll wait for you..."
Bu Shulin's fingertips trembled, a glimmer of tears flashing in her eyes before vanishing instantly. She adopted a flippant tone: "A true man shouldn't be trapped by romantic entanglements. Who knows when we'll meet again, Zhi He? I could have kept my feelings to myself, used this situation to cut ties with you completely, never to see each other again.
But I didn't want that. I didn't want to deceive myself, nor leave regrets. By speaking my heart, I intended to let go.
You should let go too. Let's both free ourselves, and free each other.
Since I'm taking a wife, I won't betray or hurt her for my own selfish desires."
Your Majesty was in his prime—changing the situation was nearly impossible. She didn't want Cui Jinbai to waste his life because of her. Only if he let go could she worry less and feel less restrained.
"If my words just now burdened you, I take them back," Cui Jinbai said quietly, watching her.
Taking them back didn't mean he wouldn't abide by them.
The usually thick-skinned Bu Shulin surprisingly understood the hidden meaning in his words. She froze for a moment, her gaze lingering on the shimmering lake surface before she suddenly smiled: "Alright, then you must take good care of yourself. That way, you can wait for me a few more years..."
"If you don't return, how dare I depart?" His dim eyes seemed to borrow a beam of light from the lantern, becoming bright and vivid again.Bu Shulin felt a wave of relief in her heart. She lifted the teacup with both hands: "This cup is for us. When we meet again, we shall never part."
Cui Jinbai did not hesitate for a moment. Meeting her gaze with a smile, he echoed: "When we meet again, we shall never part."
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