Chapter 696: I Want to Be Willful Once
When Shen Xihe said she would investigate, she meant it—and with thunderous force. Her sword pointed directly at the Palace Service Department, implicating a deputy director who had been personally mentored and promoted by Liu Sanzhi. Shen Xihe handed the culprit over to Liu Sanzhi, leaving him to deal with the matter personally.
The Palace Service Department had two chief eunuchs, both holding the third-rank and serving as trusted confidants of the emperor. One was Liu Sanzhi, while the other was stationed at Changqiu Court—an institution established by the previous emperor for interrogating palace personnel, notorious for its methods more terrifying than any prison.
There were six deputy directors managing the Imperial Harem, serving under the empress. Since the Youning Emperor ascended the throne, no empress had been appointed. For over twenty years, Noble Consort Rong had wielded palace authority, yet the entire Palace Service Department remained under the emperor's control.
This was why the Youning Emperor remained unperturbed even after Shen Xihe obtained palace authority. The eunuchs were intricately woven into both the court and the harem, creating an exceedingly complex web. Shen Xihe had refrained from acting rashly until now, but today she set aside calculations of gain and loss, wanting only to vent the anger in her heart.
Though she had never targeted the Palace Service Department before, she had long kept them under surveillance, gathering ample evidence. Her swift actions left no room for reversal.
Liu Sanzhi had no choice but to accept defeat, ordering the culprit to be flogged a hundred times. When Shen Xihe proposed promoting Zhu Sheng as the new deputy director, Liu Sanzhi dared not voice any objection.
"This humble servant kowtows in gratitude for Your Highness's favor. I will devote myself wholeheartedly to my duties, serving my master with unwavering loyalty!" Zhu Sheng came to kowtow to Shen Xihe.
Three years ago, he and another young eunuch had accompanied Huang Zhongsi—whom Shen Xihe later executed—to escort her to the capital. Amid the circumstances of that day, he had shown quick wit. Over the past three years, the once timid yet sharp-witted young eunuch had matured considerably. Shen Xihe had discreetly supported him throughout, and now, clad in the fourth-rank eunuch robes, he carried an air of authority, with none of the cautious timidity from years past.
Shen Xihe was not without others to promote—the Shen family had also planted people in the palace—but she still chose Zhu Sheng. "I am pleased you dared to accept."
By targeting Liu Sanzhi's protégé, she was openly declaring a life-and-death struggle with the Palace Service Department—her second confrontation with the emperor. At this critical juncture, Zhu Sheng's acceptance of Shen Xihe's offer would make him an enemy of the entire department.
Even those oppressed and yearning for change would not dare openly side with him.
"A loyal minister with a devoted heart—this is my fortune." Zhu Sheng had never been without ambition. Wealth and honor demanded risk, and he knew that standing by Shen Xihe through this battle, should she emerge victorious, would make him the next Liu Sanzhi.
Whether he succeeded or failed, in this lifetime, one must go all out for what one believes in.
Shen Xihe initially intended to say more to him, but out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Xiao Huayong and dismissed him instead. "Go."
Zhu Sheng responded respectfully before withdrawing. The moment he left, Xiao Huayong lifted the bead curtain and strolled to Shen Xihe's side.
Shen Xihe ignored him, acting as if he were invisible, and directly opened the documents submitted by the six bureaus of the Imperial Harem.
Xiao Huayong circled awkwardly twice before stopping beside her. "Youyou... can we not quarrel?" His tone was dejected, pleading. The Crown Prince had never put on airs before the Crown Princess, always humbling himself.
Her fingertips gripping the documents tightened abruptly. Shen Xihe could not read a single word, yet she refused to acknowledge him."Youyou, some things are unavoidable. Even if unwilling to accept them, we must eventually face them." Xiao Huayong suddenly spoke solemnly, "If my words today have offended you, I hope for your forgiveness, yet they all... come from the depths of my heart."
His permission for her to remarry was sincere. He would try Xie Yunhuai's method, yet held no hope for its success. He dared not hope, and Xie Yunhuai likewise couldn't guarantee it would work—it was merely a desperate struggle against submission.
He needed to consider her future—how could he bear to let her spend her remaining years guarding his memory during such a brilliant period of her life?
The mere thought of her being alone after he passed away made his heart ache unbearably.
Shen Xihe was not one to evade reality. Given the circumstances, she no longer wished to quarrel with Xiao Huayong. Bypassing the topic of remarriage, she turned and gazed at him calmly yet resolutely: "I only want my own flesh and blood."
It was merely difficult to conceive, not impossible. She refused to give up until the very last moment.
If she couldn't keep him, then she would continue his bloodline—this was what she believed to be the most meaningful thing she could do for him.
"Youyou..." Xiao Huayong disagreed and attempted to dissuade her, "My time is short. I hope that before I depart, you have already 'given birth.' Otherwise, how could I rest in peace?"
The palace was surrounded by wolves and tigers. The thought of her giving birth alone filled him with inexplicable dread.
Childbirth was already a brush with death for women, and she would be bearing the legitimate imperial grandson. Including Your Majesty, countless people would not allow this child to be born. Moreover, even if Shen Xihe did conceive, there was no guarantee the child would be male.
Additionally, he knew her temperament too well. If they had no child, perhaps someday someone else might touch her heart, and she could open herself to love again. But once they shared a child, she would never allow such a person to appear nor give herself another chance.
"Beichen, whether boy or girl, I want our own flesh and blood. A child that carries both our blood." Shen Xihe's gaze remained steadfast. "I have always been indifferent to love and romance. My interactions with you were also driven by ulterior motives. Marrying you still involved many compromises and weighing the pros and cons. This past year, you have treated me well. I am no unfeeling plant—how could I remain unmoved?
You hold a place in my heart, but I am not someone who lives or dies for love. I will grieve and sorrow, yet I will still live well.
However, I can tell you with certainty: whether we have a child or not, for the rest of my life, no one else will ever enter my heart."
She understood the reasons behind his actions and clearly told him she wanted none of it.
Xiao Huayong had never felt so conflicted—sweetness, bitterness, joy, pain, hope, despair...
Contradictory emotions swelled in his chest, as if tearing his heart into countless pieces, causing his body to tremble uncontrollably.
Shen Xihe took two steps forward, reached her arms around him under his arms, and actively embraced him: "Throughout my life, I have always been composed and self-disciplined, strict with myself. I have never acted on impulse or recklessness. I know that if you are gone and I become pregnant, the child in my womb would become a living target. Countless people with immense power would wish for its demise. Though I have some capabilities, I may not be able to protect it completely.
I also know that any misstep could lead to both our deaths—a truly unwise course of action.
Yet, I too wish to be willful just this once.""Beichen, since you have indulged me to act so recklessly, then indulge me to the very end."
A teardrop crystallized on Xiao Huayong's long lashes, her every word stirring the glistening bead until it slipped beyond control.
Something unfortunate happened today, and my mood was already suppressed. Writing this passage made it difficult to continue. I'll sleep now and resume writing tomorrow morning. One or two chapters will be updated by tomorrow noon.
(End of Chapter)
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