"Why are you sitting here?" Bu Shulin snapped irritably.
Cui Jinbai kept his gaze forward, sitting as steady as ever: "Waiting for you to calm down."
Calm down?
Bu Shulin raised her voice: "Seeing you makes it impossible for me to calm down!"
"Then don't look," Cui Jinbai replied.
Bu Shulin: "..."
She recalled how she had once pestered Cui Jinbai relentlessly to escape marrying the princess, loitering around the Dali Temple daily. Back then, he had said something similar—that seeing her disrupted his focus on work. She had teased him, claiming he was affected because he admired her, only changing her tune under his death glare by suggesting he could simply not look.
Karma had struck swiftly. Now she was filled with regret, deep regret!
If only she could turn back time, she would never have provoked this sticky nuisance that she couldn't shake off!
She had dug her own grave. Bu Shulin could only lie on the bed like a corpse, her eyes gloomily fixed on the canopy.
After sitting silently for a quarter of an hour, Cui Jinbai seemed to think Bu Shulin had cooled off. He cleared his throat lightly as a greeting before speaking: "A Lin, can we stop fighting?"
"Who's fighting with you?" Bu Shulin rolled her eyes again.
"Between us, you were the one who clung to me first. I refused, avoided, and advised you against it. Yet you persisted. How can you stir my heart from calm stillness into raging waves and then expect to walk away untouched?" Cui Jinbai said softly. "Since childhood, I've been taught not to claim to be a gentleman, but I understand the principles of moral conduct. I wouldn't dare be disrespectful to any woman, let alone develop feelings for a man?"
He continued, "These improper thoughts I have about you—you caused them. If not for your bold and explicit provocations, how would I have become attached and emotionally moved?"
"You've made me this way, so don't think you can remain uninvolved."
He knew Bu Shulin might genuinely not be interested in men. She had only used him as a shield to avoid her fate of marrying the princess. But now, he was past the point of no return. If Bu Shulin wanted to withdraw, what was he to do?
Bu Shulin closed her eyes heavily. She couldn't refute a single word Cui Jinbai said—it was all her own doing.
Moreover, she had turned a model noble scion into someone who openly accepted his same-sex attraction, reduced to a pitiable state. She felt deeply guilty, but she couldn't reciprocate Cui Jinbai's feelings.
To be fair, was she truly heartless and emotionless toward Cui Jinbai?
Not entirely. He was such an exceptional man—how many women in the capital secretly admired him? Yet he had no vices, maintained his integrity, was graceful and courteous, and had given her his whole heart.
"Let's settle our matter after the Bu family achieves a stable outcome," she said, not bothering with empty words about them both being men—Cui Jinbai didn't care whether she was male or female. "If before that, you find someone you truly love or realize that we're doomed to have no good ending and wish to walk away, I won't blame you."
Cui Jinbai sprang to his feet, rushing to Bu Shulin's bedside, his eyes blazing: "You... are you saying you'll engage yourself to me?"
Bu Shulin: "..."
Bu Shulin patiently explained: "That's not what I meant. I meant that before the Bu family is secure, I won't discuss marriage. In my heart, the Bu family comes before romantic entanglements. I will never let personal affairs jeopardize myself or Father.""Moreover, our relationship... is something the world cannot tolerate, nor can Your Majesty. Only the Crown Prince... might be able to make it happen. I don't know how long that day will take, nor do I know if you can wait until then..."
"I can wait! No matter how long, I'm willing and will wait for you," Cui Jinbai said urgently.
Bu Shulin looked at him. "Then it's settled."
"If you want me to wait for you, you must treat me differently. I have only one condition," Cui Jinbai seized the opportunity.
"Tell me first." Bu Shulin didn't agree immediately.
"No more indulging in wine and lust from now on," Cui Jinbai said sternly.
"I'm a wastrel by nature. If I don't indulge in wine and lust and instead become as diligent as you, would His Majesty still tolerate me?" Bu Shulin quickly made excuses. These were her lifeblood, habits ingrained over more than a decade. She loved these things—how could she give them up?
Pursing his lips, Cui Jinbai could only compromise. "You can go to those places, but no one is allowed to get close to you."
What fun was there in going to brothels without holding a delicate, jade-like young lady? Going to such places just to drink?
But meeting Cui Jinbai's lifeless gaze, Bu Shulin had no choice but to respond perfunctorily: "Alright, alright, I'll try my best, I'll try my best.""
"Not 'try'—you must!" Cui Jinbai wouldn't budge an inch on this.
Bu Shulin fell silent.
Cui Jinbai felt deeply wronged. "Before I met you, I never got close to anyone. I had no maidservants attending to me, and even page boys couldn't get near me. As for the Office of Music, pleasure quarters, and brothels—I've never set foot in them. But you..."
As he spoke, Cui Jinbai's clear eyes fixed directly on Bu Shulin, almost materializing two words in his gaze: debauched!
Bu Shulin felt thoroughly guilty under his stare. Hearing Cui Jinbai say this made her seem like a playboy, and one with extensive experience at that, while Cui Jinbai was pure and untainted.
"Fine, fine, I won't go anymore, I won't go," Bu Shulin waved impatiently.
Only then did Cui Jinbai show a smile. Sitting by the bedside, he gazed intently at her. "Are you really feeling unwell?"
"Having my heart and liver dug out—how much worse could it be?" Bu Shulin grumbled.
"If you truly enjoy song and dance, I can hire renowned performers to entertain you, but I must accompany you," Cui Jinbai conceded a little.
Bu Shulin gave him a fake smile. "Thank you for your magnanimity."
As if not understanding her sarcasm, Cui Jinbai smiled back. "As long as you know I'm magnanimous."
This conversation...
Bu Shulin felt as if their genders had been reversed. It sounded exactly like a man praising his virtuous wife...
But at least the atmosphere between them had improved.
The next day, when Shen Xihe went to see Xue Jinqiao, she was surprised to find Bu Shulin there. She hadn't expected Bu Shulin to show up voluntarily.
Meeting Shen Xihe's gaze, Bu Shulin gave a weak smile—she had been forced into it.
"Sister, are you here to help me try on my wedding dress?" Xue Jinqiao's eyes curved into smiles at the sight of Shen Xihe.
Bu Shulin curled her lip. This girl was all claws and teeth with others. Those who hadn't seen her vicious side would surely think she was pure and kind.
"Yes, I came to see if your wedding dress fits," Shen Xihe nodded.She had actually come to accompany Xue Jinqiao and to check if there were any oversights on her end, as the day after tomorrow would be Xue Jinqiao and Shen Yungan's wedding day.
Xue Jinqiao was not skilled in needlework or embroidery, so the wedding dress had been hastily made by the embroiderers of the Xue residence. Naturally, there were no issues.
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