Ultimately, it was because her mother lost her own mother in childhood, and she herself was born without ever seeing her mother, frail and at risk of passing away at any moment.
Shen Yungan, who was already sensible at that time, would never have been able to let go if Shen Yueshan had shown even the slightest pity for Shen Yingluo.
"In blood, Father has three children; in kinship, Father has two children." Shen Yueshan’s thick, rough palm rested on Shen Xihe’s head. "Father does not wish to end up with no children at all."
The sentiment that Youyou was his only daughter was spoken sincerely, and not only to Shen Xihe—he had said the same to Shen Yungan. Having lost his mother at a young age, Shen Yungan had grown to resent even him. If not for Youyou diverting most of Shen Yungan’s attention, making him realize that she could not survive without her brother’s protection, Shen Yungan would likely have risked his life to infiltrate the capital and kill Xiao Shi and Shen Yingluo.
It took repeated assurances and over a decade of consistent actions for Shen Yueshan to finally dissolve Shen Yungan’s resentment.
After losing his wife, all summons from the court were handled by Shen Yungan. Only once, when he was explicitly named, did Shen Yueshan come to the capital. Upon his return, he found his son with eyes red from exhaustion, ready to abandon him, his own father.
His son’s strict vigilance against his visits to the capital was precisely to prevent any pity he might develop for Shen Yingluo. This time, however, his son’s unwavering resolve seemed to have softened.
Undoubtedly, Shen Xihe must have said something to Shen Yungan to ease his resentment. Perhaps Xiao Shi’s death also played a role; otherwise, his son would never have allowed him to attend his daughter’s coming-of-age ceremony.
"Brother and I caused Father much hardship in our childhood," Shen Xihe murmured softly, leaning her head against Shen Yueshan’s broad shoulder.
In their youth, they were unaware of the larger picture and ignorant of Shen Yueshan’s struggles. Over the years, he had acted as both father and mother, raising them single-handedly. He had no other woman by his side, devoting all his attention to the Northwest and his two children.
Shen Xihe tilted her head, gazing at his still-dark hair, and thought of how he had lost his wife in his youth and now, in middle age, remained alone. "Father, Brother is now of marriageable age, and Youyou will soon marry as well. Why not find someone who understands and cares for you to keep you company?"
Meeting his daughter’s clear, compassionate eyes, Shen Yueshan chuckled. "Women are delicate and troublesome…"
Noticing her gaze turning chilly, he quickly corrected himself, "Other women are delicate and troublesome. Your father would make a poor husband—better not to ruin a good lady’s life."
Changing the subject, Shen Yueshan thought of his son. "In previous years, whenever I urged your brother to marry, he was as stubborn as an ox and never relented. But after returning from the capital this time, he seemed more open to the idea. Has he taken a liking to some young lady in the capital?"
Shen Xihe was momentarily taken aback, and Xue Jinqiao’s image flashed through her mind. She couldn’t help but laugh. "It’s nothing serious."
"Oh?" Shen Yueshan immediately sensed there was more to the story. "What’s the reason? Tell your father."
Shen Xihe then recounted Xue Jinqiao’s story in detail, concluding, "Brother barely exchanged a few words with Qiao Qiao in the capital. Qiao Qiao only became interested in him because she wanted to stick close to me. To form a marriage alliance over such a trivial matter would be far too reckless."
Shen Yueshan’s first reaction was, "Is this Xue Seventh Lady perhaps a young man in disguise?"
Shen Xihe: …"Father, you're quite imaginative. Qiao Qiao has legitimate brothers, why would she need to disguise a proper noble lady as a boy?"
Shen Yueshan: "Then why does she cling to you?"
"She seems to like the fragrance on me." Shen Xihe had also investigated this, as she never believed someone would persistently pursue another without purpose after just one meeting. "Normally she's just somewhat charming, no different from ordinary people. But she can't handle stimulation - once provoked, she loses self-control. The incense I blend helps her stay clear-headed."
To verify her theory, Shen Xihe specially prepared another fragrance for Xue Jinqiao using the same mind-clearing and heart-calming herbs as her own blend, but with different floral notes that created a completely different scent with similar effects. "After using it, she could indeed control herself."
"Like when Changling Princess tried to harm me last time - if Xue Jinqiao hadn't been able to restrain herself, she wouldn't have just whipped the princess's horse but would have struck the princess herself. You can see her fierceness from how she dealt with Miss Yuan."
Shen Yueshan pondered: "Invite Seventh Miss Xue to our manor another day. I'd like to meet her."
Shen Xihe looked speechlessly at her father. First her brother acted recklessly, now her father was joining in the commotion.
"When your brother was just a few years old, he would hold you, this little meatball, in his palms. He needed to see you safe every morning before he could calmly practice martial arts." Shen Yueshan spoke gently. "He delays marriage because he fears his wife might treat you poorly or forbid him from caring for you as always. The fault lies with him - having changed himself, he has no right to demand that another family's treasured daughter marry into ours and accommodate you. That's why he keeps postponing."
"If Seventh Miss Xue has caught his interest, it's certainly because she likes you and will treat you even better in future. More importantly, he genuinely finds her remarkable. Though he considers you when marrying, he wouldn't marry solely for your sake."
Only then did Shen Xihe understand - she had been blinded. So her brother did have some considerations. She smiled: "No need for me to invite her. She'll come on her own."
Would Xue Jinqiao come? Of course she would. She loved being with Shen Xihe. Though she felt somewhat timid hearing Shen Yueshan had come, after enduring for two days she couldn't resist quietly visiting the Princess Manor.
"Sister, Granduncle says you're marrying into the Eastern Palace. Is it true?" Xue Jinqiao whispered.
"Yes." Shen Xihe nodded.
Xue Jinqiao pouted, displeased: "Then I'll become a palace official!"
Shen Xihe: [...]
Palace officials were essentially servants. Wouldn't this infuriate the Xue family?
"No, you're a Xue family daughter. How can you become a palace official?" Shen Xihe sternly admonished. "Don't be reckless."
"They say once you enter the Eastern Palace, I can't visit you daily. I want to be with you every day, but I can't marry into the Eastern Palace too - I won't steal your husband." Though obsessive in certain aspects, Xue Jinqiao wasn't foolish.
"Didn't you say you wanted to marry my brother?" Shen Xihe suddenly asked.
"I'm not marrying him anymore. Your brother's in the northwest - marrying him would mean going there." Xue Jinqiao hadn't considered this before. Only after Shen Yungan left did she realize she didn't want to go to the northwest."But if you marry my brother, we'll be family." Shen Xihe felt somewhat contemptuous of herself, always feeling as though she was taking advantage of Xue Jinqiao's attachment to her to secure a wife for her brother—it made her seem like a human trafficker. "Then you could help me take care of my brother, and I wouldn't have to worry about him. In a few years, when you can return to the capital, we'll be able to see each other often."
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