Gu Yanxi answered with utmost honesty, "The former."
Hua Zhi remained silent for a moment. "I'm actually quite worried you'll be disappointed. Even if I agree to be with you, I still have to protect the Hua family and exhaust all means to ensure their survival. I can't be like other women who regard their husbands as the center of their universe, prioritizing everything about their spouses and even sacrificing their natal family's interests for that. You should know I'm incapable of that."
"I know. It doesn't matter." Gu Yanxi's words sounded stiff. Though victory seemed within reach, he dared not rejoice, fearing A Zhi would follow with a "but."
"Moreover, we temporarily cannot go through the formal three matchmakers and six betrothal gifts. I cannot, and neither can you."
"I can resolve..."
Hua Zhi shook her head. "Unless your resolution brings my grandfather and father back, it doesn't count as a real solution. The three matchmakers and six betrothal gifts require the presence of authoritative elders. My mother doesn't qualify, and besides, I'm still in mourning. I won't marry within three years."
"It's fine. I'm willing to wait."
Their gazes held for a moment before Hua Zhi smiled wryly. "We sound like we're negotiating a business deal. Fortunately, both buyer and seller are being straightforward."
Sometimes she envied those who threw caution to the wind for love—their bravery, how they rushed toward whom they believed was right like moths to flame. Perhaps the outcome wasn't ideal, but they remained true to themselves.
Even in her previous life, during her truly youthful years, she had never experienced such recklessness. It wasn't that she didn't regret it, but her nature left her no choice. She wished she could understand what it felt like to have her heart flutter like a restless rabbit. Unfortunately, she had never experienced emotions overwhelming reason.
Hua Zhi looked at the man whose eyes sparkled—his joy so evident it made her feel undeserving of his sincere devotion.
Having regained his usual sharpness, Gu Yanxi caught her self-reproaching expression. He stood and knelt before A Zhi, looking up at her. "What we're discussing isn't a transaction—it's our lifelong commitment. You feel this way because you're burdened by guilt."
Guilt... for what? Hua Zhi looked bewildered.
Gu Yanxi gently tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "You've always been decisive and assertive in handling matters, yet only in this have you failed to firmly refuse. From the very beginning, you've felt guilty—thinking you've used me, that your feelings aren't pure enough. That's why you carry this guilt."
Hua Zhi bit her lip lightly, reluctant to admit it seemed true.
Gu Yanxi smiled. "I'm actually glad you feel guilty. If you didn't, we wouldn't have reached this point."
"Don't you think this emotional exchange is unequal?"
"I'm not weighing my feelings on a scale to sell them. Why pursue perfect balance? I'm willing to do these things—I find joy in doing anything for you. Whatever I do for you comes from my own volition. That's enough for me. Isn't there a saying: 'One is willing to beat, the other is willing to be beaten'? I'm the one willing to be beaten."
Hua Zhi felt anything but comforted. Instead, she grew more conscious of how weighty this affection was. Across two lifetimes, she had never wished to owe anyone—yet she owed Gu Yanxi, and now they were entangled emotionally. She couldn't even clearly discern which emotions dominated her heart."You're not as bad to me as you think, A Zhi. You've actually done many things for me. Don't say they're insignificant—many of them were crucial. You know that, don't you?"
"But none of those have anything to do with feelings..."
"Would you say these things to others?"
No, she'd have to be utterly bored to discuss such matters with anyone else.
Gu Yanxi smiled. "You trust me. Even after learning my true identity, you still allowed me to stay close. You even asked to meet me late at night. All this shows you trust me. To me, that's more important than any sweet words. In the Gu family, this is what we lack most."
"But this has nothing to do with feelings..."
"It does, A Zhi. Don't you know how difficult it is to earn your trust? Yet you've given it to me. How can you think this has nothing to do with feelings?"
Hua Zhi understood herself well. She truly found it extremely hard to trust someone. After all these years in the Hua family, even her own parents didn't know what she was really like. The only person she trusted completely was her grandfather. Although Fourth Uncle knew some things about her, she still held back. Thinking carefully, her trust in Gu Yanxi had long exceeded ordinary boundaries.
When did it start? Hua Zhi couldn't quite recall.
Gu Yanxi pressed on, "Accepting me doesn't require you to change anything. Just follow your heart. I won't make things difficult for you, nor will I force you to change. I only hope to be counted among your inner circle, A Zhi. I wish to be protected by you, just like you protect Little Six, Shaoyao, and Berlin. Protect me too."
Such a request wasn't excessive—it was almost humble. Hua Zhi didn't know how deeply insecure he felt inside. She only knew that at this moment, her heart ached for him.
Reaching out to touch the scar on his face, Hua Zhi nodded. "Alright."
Gu Yanxi covered her hand with his, a genuine smile spreading from his heart. His mind finally settled into peace. He knew that when A Zhi agreed, she agreed to everything. She took promises too seriously—unless he wronged her in the future, she would never distance herself from him. This was all he asked for now.
As long as A Zhi remembered this promise, even if he were to die unexpectedly someday, she would only remember him. She wouldn't regard anyone else. Whether in life or death, A Zhi could only be his!
"Mr. Zheng is merely a tutor for the Hua family. His ambitions don't lie in court, nor is his heart in the capital. He'll leave once his contract is fulfilled. This small capital can't contain him."
Gu Yanxi awkwardly averted his gaze, unusually revealing some embarrassment.
Her fingers tracing the raised scar on his face, Hua Zhi asked softly, "Will you use the excuse of 'men and women should maintain distance' to keep me away from him?"
"No. Before you accepted me, I was worried—after all, he's quite remarkable—but I never thought to prevent you from interacting with him. Now even less so. I'll never impose those inner-quarter standards on you. The way you are now is perfect. Do as you wish. I've said it before—I'll always follow your lead."
Hua Zhi smiled. How fortunate she was to meet such a person. Even in her previous world, he would have been rare. She never knew the phrase "I'll follow your lead" could hold such power, making her heart feel: "This is the one."She realized she was somewhat fond of Gu Yanxi—more than just "somewhat," a little more than that.
Hua Zhi crouched down to meet the man at eye level, her gaze softening with tender affection. "In this lifetime, if you do not betray me, I will never betray you."
Suddenly, Gu Yanxi understood what it meant for one's heart to bloom with joy. In that moment, a hundred flowers blossomed within him.
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