Be Passionately In Love

Chen Luzhou finally understood back then that some things really shouldn't be started casually. The most absurd time was when they were watching a movie on the couch. It was already early spring, with temperatures rising and nature reviving, tender buds sprouting on tree branches. Xu Zhi was wearing just a white cable-knit sweater and a woolen skirt, her well-proportioned legs bare. Chen Luzhou, as usual, had on loose gray thin hoodie and sweatpants, his baseball jacket tossed haphazardly aside.

Neither took off their clothes. Xu Zhi straddled him, her skirt pushed up, and they got straight to business.

Though it was daytime, the curtains were tightly drawn, not letting in a single ray of light, nor could they see the vibrant red winter jasmine blooming outside. The hum of the TV and air conditioner filled the room, mingled with their heavy or light, unrestrained yet suppressed panting.

They were actually watching a horror movie. Chen Luzhou wasn't picky about films—he could sit through three hours of dull documentaries—but horror was the exception. It wasn't that he was cowardly; he just couldn't handle the jumpscares. Horror movies had too many deliberately mystifying shots, absurdly throwing out bloodied, distorted faces without warning, keeping viewers constantly on edge. Xu Zhi even had to cover his eyes at times. "You're really scared, huh?"

Chen Luzhou lay back on the couch, his movements below uninterrupted, torn between laughter and exasperation. "Can you turn the TV off? You don't want to scare me into dysfunction, do you?"

Xu Zhi knew he'd been feeling off those days. Though he'd casually say things like "it's just a stranger," sometimes while reading together, he'd suddenly ask without looking up, self-deprecatingly, "Xu Zhi, am I really that pathetic?"

If anyone else had heard that, they'd probably call him hypocritical and pretentious. After all, he'd won national awards in high school math and physics competitions, was legendary at City No. 1 High, even regarded as a godlike rival by the provincial top scorer—so much so that rivals became friends. Countless girls had crushes on him. In the past, Xu Zhi couldn't imagine what situation could make him ask such a question. But at that moment, all she felt was heartache.

"Chen Luzhou, though this might not sound very convincing—Old Xu loves me, but not all fathers in the world are like Old Xu. For those irresponsible parents, just think of them as a door, the door that brought you into this world. Once you've passed through it, the world behind you no longer matters. All you have to do is keep moving forward."

Chen Luzhou froze for a moment, then chuckled in surrender, nodding with a mix of relief and satisfaction. "Wow, my girlfriend's learned how to comfort people now."

Xu Zhi smiled too. "Only for you. For anyone else, they'd just be pathetic. How could my boyfriend be pathetic? He's got plenty of tricks up his sleeve."

Chen Luzhou quietly moved the book aside and sighed nostalgically. "I suddenly miss when we first met. Now we can't stay serious for more than three sentences."

"Then let's start over tomorrow."

...

Later, after cleaning up and sitting back on the couch, Chen Luzhou deftly tied the knot and asked her earnestly, "Haven't you noticed I've lost weight recently?"Xu Zhi couldn't stop laughing, collapsing into his arms as she planted a kiss on his chin. "Chen Luzhou, how can you be this adorable?"

Chen Luzhou made one last decisive resolution. After tying the knot, he casually tossed it into the nearby trash bin and pulled her closer. His hands rested loosely around her waist as he lowered his head to nuzzle against her forehead, sighing meaningfully. His expression looked utterly remorseful, as if bearing the weight of the world's sins—the very picture of someone who'd gotten what they wanted yet pretended otherwise. After a moment of exaggerated self-reflection, he looked down at her seriously and said, "Really, this can't go on. Your boyfriend's going to be ruined at this rate."

Nestled in his embrace, Xu Zhi rested her chin against his chest, absentmindedly fiddling with the clothing tag on his shirt. "If anyone's ruined, it'll be you," she murmured unconsciously. "There won't be anyone else."

Chen Luzhou paused, then looked down at her playing with his tag. "You love me that much? Well then, it seems like we'll have to get married—there's no other way out now."

"Mhm. No way out," she affirmed lazily.

The young man's grin grew even more shameless, his eyes sparkling with youthful arrogance as he fully embraced his role of pushing his luck. Leaning close to her ear, he pressed further in a low voice, "Then why don't you propose to me? Who knows—I might get impulsive and say yes right now."

The horror movie continued playing frame by frame in the background as the two cuddled on the sofa, whispering sweet nothings. The eerie scenes clashed absurdly with the room's tender atmosphere, rendering the ghostly pale faces with bleeding orifices completely non-threatening, while the film's climactic twists went entirely unnoticed.

Xu Zhi burst into laughter against his chest, jabbing her finger playfully into him. "Chen Luzhou, have you no shame?"

His shoulders shook with laughter before he fell silent for a moment, gazing at her. Then, deliberately avoiding the question, he said, "Don't lose that felted wool charm I gave you."

"It's hanging on my phone.A tacit understanding settled between them before they both sighed contentedly at the exact same moment. Startled, they looked up and met each other's eyes, immediately bursting into laughter again—their tacit understanding so ingrained it seemed to sync with their very breaths.

The next second, Chen Luzhou threw his head back against the sofa in defeat, his Adam's apple bobbing sharply like an ice blade's edge. Staring blankly at the ceiling, he groaned, "I'm done for."

"What?"

With meaningful emphasis, he glanced downward.

Xu Zhi immediately sprang up from his lap, hastily smoothing her skirt and slipping into her sandals. She grabbed the trash bag from the bin and extended a hand to him. "I'm heading back. You should study." After gathering her things, she added, "Come on, walk me downstairs."

Chen Luzhou chuckled, taking a deep breath before standing up and clasping her hand. As he led her out, he took the trash bag from her, casually remarking, "Hey, girlfriend—wear pants tomorrow, will you?"

Xu Zhi rolled her eyes and tried to pull her hand free. "...My fault? Chen Luzhou, that mindset of yours is problematic. Are you saying girls shouldn't wear skirts in public?"

"No," he laughed, tugging her back. "What are you imagining? I just don't want you catching cold. It's barely spring—at least wear some stockings. I don't want you needing a wheelchair at eighty. Your knees have always been weak, haven't they?"

"Spring began already."

"It's still freezing. Do you see any mosquitoes in here? Even bugs are still hibernating." Chen Luzhou pushed the door open.As soon as the words were spoken, a small black shadow suddenly darted past—a starving, shriveled mosquito buzzed in from outside, seemingly highly displeased with his earlier remark, circling menacingly around Chen Luzhou’s temple.

Chen Luzhou: “…”

Xu Zhi realized that Chen Luzhou’s luck might genuinely be terrible. Whatever he said seemed to backfire.

She couldn’t stop laughing as she swatted it away, teasing him with a grin, “It’s a bee, just a bee.”

“You swatted a bee with your hand?”

“…What can’t I swat? I’ve even crushed cockroaches barehanded before.”

“When?”

“Yesterday, at home. Old Xu bought a few cockroach traps, but none of them worked.”

“Did you disinfect?”

“I washed my hands.”

Chen Luzhou wanted to throttle his girlfriend.

“Can we at least have some hygiene? You touched me yesterday! Damn it, what if it gets infected?”

Xu Zhi shrugged carelessly. “It won’t. I washed my hands. If it really comes to that, I’ll have my dad take another look at you.”

Chen Luzhou couldn’t even muster a smile. “How is this not awkward, I ask you.”

Xu Zhi laughed so hard she nearly choked, finally relenting. “I’m kidding. That happened when I was little. After my dad explained that cockroaches carry over a hundred types of viruses, I never crushed them barehanded again.”

Chen Luzhou’s newly triggered germophobia wasn’t going away anytime soon. “…From now on, disinfect before you come in.”

“Then I’ll just find a boyfriend who doesn’t require disinfection.” Xu Zhi turned to leave.

“…”

Chen Luzhou leaned against the doorframe, handing her a trash bag with shameless audacity. “Fine. Then take this trash down for your current boyfriend first.”

Xu Zhi: “…”

Asshole.

**

On the day Fu Yuqing and Lian Hui met, Qingyi was hit by the first heavy rain of spring—a downpour so sudden it sent pedestrians scattering in all directions, rushing for shelter.

Lian Hui had just stepped out of her office when she saw the iron curtain of rain outside. As she turned back to grab an umbrella, she heard the click of a lighter nearby. Glancing over, she spotted Fu Yuqing standing at the entrance of her company, smoking, dressed in a black suit and holding a black umbrella.

In his youth, Fu Yuqing had been a gentleman—aside from his flirtatious nature, he was impeccable when it came to women. He was always considerate, never leaving home without a spare umbrella in his car. Their first meeting had also been during an unexpected downpour. Lian Hui, on her way to return books to the library, had been drenched instantly. Fu Yuqing’s car happened to be parked nearby—he had been meeting friends for dinner—and he casually handed her an umbrella from his car.

Back then, they hadn’t exchanged contact information, and Lian Hui assumed she’d never see him again. Later, when her teacher recommended her for a dubbing job at a film dubbing studio, she ran into Fu Yuqing once more. He was a nominal director there, and naturally, he began asking her out to meals. Even then, she had vaguely heard from a few girls at the studio that Fu Yuqing had a reputation—he had pursued several of them. Lian Hui knew he wasn’t a good man, yet she fell for him anyway.Not long after they got together, a girl joined the dubbing studio whose voice was very similar to hers. Combined with the earlier rumors, Lian Hui once suspected there was something ambiguous between Fu Yuqing and Lin Qiudie—until she realized Lin Qiudie was solely focused on making money and had nothing but disdain for Fu Yuqing, let alone any special regard. Later, Lin Qiudie even found a boyfriend who was the complete opposite of Fu Yuqing—a straightforward medical student. Only then did Lian Hui confirm there was nothing between them. Yet despite this, many girls still held Fu Yuqing in high regard. It wasn’t until one of those girls came knocking that Lian Hui realized he was incorrigible.

Fu Yuqing explained that he had just had a bit too much to drink and chatted a little longer, but nothing had happened. At the time, his career was at its peak, and he was young and full of pride. Lian Hui even felt his tone implied, I’ve already been patient enough to explain this much—what more do you want?

Though Fu Yuqing never actually said it, she was certain that was what he was thinking.

After several such incidents, Fu Yuqing finally lost all patience. With a cold expression, he said, Fine. If you want to break up, then break up. But if we do, don’t come back to me.

They had broken up a few times before, only for Fu Yuqing to sweet-talk her back each time. Later, he even mocked her for it: Is threatening to break up every time fun? What are you trying to prove? That you’re different from the others? So when they broke up that time, Lian Hui made a firm decision—she would never go back to him, no matter what.

But just days later, Lian Hui discovered she was pregnant. When she got the test results, she considered terminating the pregnancy. However, the night before her hospital appointment, she dreamed of the child—who looked exactly like Chen Luzhou as a little boy—calling her Mom . Unable to bear the thought of losing it, she set aside all past grievances and went to Fu Yuqing with a sliver of hope.

When Fu Yuqing heard she was pregnant, he fell silent for a long time on the phone before asking, What do you mean by this?

At that moment, Lian Hui’s heart sank. Swallowing her pride, she voiced her truest thoughts: I want to marry you. No matter what, I want to keep this child.

Fu Yuqing was silent even longer before finally saying, Lian Hui, I never planned to get married.

It was then that Lian Hui finally understood what role she had played in Fu Yuqing’s life—and that a rake would always be a rake. He would never change.

Now, twenty years later, when Xu Guangji mentioned that Fu Yuqing had never married, Lian Hui didn’t care. She only felt like laughing. None of it mattered anymore—all she wanted now was for Chen Luzhou to have a better life. She had no patience for small talk and cut straight to the point: I know you have a lot of questions for me, but I don’t think there’s any need to answer them. I just want to know—how do you plan to treat Chen Luzhou?

Fu Yuqing took a drag of his cigarette, his eyes slightly narrowed as he gazed at the heavy rain outside, as if admiring a mural that had nothing to do with him. He’s my son. How else would I treat him?

Lian Hui nodded. That was enough. She added, If you’re unsure, get a paternity test. Of course, whether he acknowledges you is up to him. But if you want to acknowledge him, you’ll have to show sincerity.

Fu Yuqing didn’t respond. His expression darkened as he fell into a heavy silence, lost in thought.After a while, he said, "So when you went to the orphanage to look for him back then, he was still there?"

"Who told you to fail to recognize your own son?"

"I was in the ICU for three or four years at that time. I could barely recognize my own mother—how was I supposed to recognize a six-month-old baby?"

Lian Hui laughed coldly. "If you had cared even a little, how could you not have recognized him? Didn’t you know how much better-looking Chen Luzhou was compared to other kids his age? After you took him back from me, you never even bothered to take a proper look at him."

It was true. Fu Yuqing had been young and reckless back then. Suddenly saddled with a son, he was also busy competing in tournaments and had left the company’s affairs to others. By the time he returned from his competitions, the dubbing studio was on the verge of collapse. Overwhelmed with work, he had left the child entirely in the care of his mother and the nanny.

Lian Hui sneered. "If you had really cared, why didn’t you look for him later? Your family’s connections are so extensive—couldn’t you have found even a single lead? You must have known I later adopted a child from the orphanage. Use your brain—who do you think that child was? I even suspect that when you told me your mother had sent the child there, it was actually you who did it. You probably wished he’d disappear—no child, back to being the golden bachelor. Fu Yuqing, don’t pretend you’re above it. There’s nothing someone like you wouldn’t do."

Fu Yuqing leisurely flicked the ash from his cigarette, his expression mocking. "You give me too much credit, Lian Hui. As lacking in principles as I am, I would never abandon a child. Back when you told me you were marrying that man, didn’t I ask you to wait for me, to let me settle things before we talked? And what did you say? That you’d already fallen in love with him. Never mind—there’s no point dragging this up now. But there’s one thing you’ve got completely wrong."

He exhaled a slow stream of smoke and said calmly, "After my accident, those were the years of the anti-crime crackdown. My father was at the height of his influence, so he was the first to be targeted. There are things you might not believe if I told you. Do you remember Old Liang?"

"The dubbing teacher for me and Lin Qiudie?"

Fu Yuqing nodded. "Yeah. They found a few pornographic tapes in his house, and he was executed on the spot."

Lian Hui froze. Those years had indeed been turbulent—denunciations, reports, everyone scrambling to save themselves, those involved in shady businesses fleeing at the first sign of trouble. Old Liang had worked under his father and had his own dark background, making him a prime target for investigation.

Fu Yuqing stubbed out his cigarette on the rock of the trash bin. "The pile of denunciation letters against our family was taller than I am. Even my mother was dragged in for questioning. I was in the hospital at the time, so I escaped. That very night, everyone in my family fled abroad. When I woke up, the dubbing studio had already collapsed, and all our profitable businesses had been shut down. The crackdown hadn’t ended yet, and many people around me had been arrested. My mother urged me to go abroad to lay low. At that point, I didn’t even know if I could survive. When you told me he’d been adopted, I was actually relieved. Any family that could adopt would surely be well-off—at least better off than with me."

Lian Hui asked, "So you’re broke now?"

Fu Yuqing: "..."The rain gradually lightened, splashing into puddles and creating ripples. Fu Yuqing sighed, "Not much, just a little. When things got better, I earned some from racing. I had Lin Qiudie convert one of my old casinos into a resort—tea roasting and such. At least there's some savings. By the time I recovered, several years had passed. I asked people to inquire a few times, but it was like throwing a stone into the sea. After a while, I didn’t dare to search anymore."

Lian Hui said, "Talking about this is pointless now. Just focus on making more money. Don’t wait until Old Xu asks for a betrothal gift and you can’t scrape together a penny."

**

A week before school started, Chen Luzhou and Xu Zhi were in the hospital room booking tickets back to Beijing. Old Xu leaned against the headboard, leisurely cracking sunflower seeds. "When are you two leaving?"

"After you're discharged," Xu Zhi replied, her head down as she checked for tickets on her phone.

Chen Luzhou poured Old Xu a glass of water and placed it on the bedside table. Old Xu thanked him and set it aside. "I’m being discharged tomorrow. Let me cook you a meal before you leave. You probably won’t be back until summer break. I heard A University has some short semester—still a month of classes during summer?"

"Just three weeks," Xu Zhi said, glancing at Chen Luzhou. "But Dad, we might not come back for summer break."

Old Xu eyed them both. "What, eloping?"

Chen Luzhou had taken on an aerial photography job for the summer, and the two had argued about it the night before.

"No, I might have to help someone with a shoot. Probably won’t be back. Xu Zhi should be able to come home," Chen Luzhou said, hands in his pockets.

Xu Zhi shot him a reluctant look, their eyes exchanging silent words—

Didn’t we agree last night? I’m staying with you over the summer!

I never said yes—

Are you keeping a dog outside or something?

Could I even afford two?

Old Xu finally saw the light—someone didn’t want to come back. He sighed, brushed off the melon seed shells from his hands, and casually reminded them, “Alright, I get it. You two take care in Beijing. Call me if you run out of money, and focus on your studies at school.” With that, he pulled out three red envelopes from the drawer and handed them to Chen Luzhou. “This is Xu Zhi’s first year bringing a boyfriend home. These are greeting gifts from me and Old Cai. Take them first.”

Chen Luzhou froze, his hands still stuffed in his pockets. “...No need.”

Xu Guangji pushed them forward. “Take them. When Xu Zhi meets your family in the future, won’t she get some too? If you don’t take these, Xu Zhi won’t get hers.”

“Take them, take them,” Xu Zhi pleaded pitifully, nudging him.

Chen Luzhou pulled his hand out of his pocket, ruffled her hair, and sighed. “Then what’s the third one for?”

Old Xu’s eyebrows danced excitedly. “It’s for, uh, that… that… that…”

They all understood without saying more.

Chen Luzhou lowered his gaze, his eyelids coolly half-lowered, his eyes seemingly stitched onto the red envelopes, his lips taut like a straight line that couldn’t be bent no matter how hard one tried.

Just from that look, Xu Guangji could tell how unyielding and proud this kid was.

After a long pause, Chen Luzhou finally spoke. “I’ll take yours and Uncle Cai’s. Please return his.”

Old Xu coughed. “His isn’t money.”

“Then what is it?”

“You’ll know when you open it.”