Be Passionately In Love

Outside, the first snow of that year in Beijing was falling. Viewed from inside the house, the window was filled with fluffy, snow-white little tufts tumbling down in a flurry.

Some watched the snow with flushed cheeks and dazzled eyes, while others nestled quietly together indoors.

"Happy birthday, Chen Luzhou," Xu Zhi whispered, hugging him from behind, her face pressed against his back.

The fingers clutching the card tightened involuntarily, creasing it sharply. His voice sounded as if it had been forced out from the depths of his throat: "How long did you work on this?"

Truthfully, she had started very early—back during summer vacation. Xu Zhi had originally intended to compensate him with a camera lens, but when she realized how expensive lenses were and that she couldn’t afford one, she decided to make something for him instead. Uncle Fu had given her a suggestion at the time. There were leftover materials from the renovation of the mountain villa’s warehouse, so Xu Zhi took them and made a prototype. But she soon realized that completing a full-scale model would require an enormous amount of work, so she set it aside for a while. It wasn’t until the semester started and she began attending classes that she slowly refined the design. She had thought she wouldn’t make it in time for his birthday.

Xu Zhi didn’t answer his question. "Do you like it?"

Chen Luzhou turned around, leaning against the edge of the table as he looked down at her. The card was still in his hand, and he cupped her face with both hands, pressing the card against her cheek. His eyes held a lingering intensity and tenderness: "How long?"

Xu Zhi remained silent.

"If you don’t tell me, I’ll go ask your roommate," he said.

Xu Zhi finally sighed, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her face against his broad chest, listening to the fervent beat of his heart. Reluctantly, she admitted, "Over a month. I pulled an all-nighter here last night."

There was no response for a long while. Xu Zhi instinctively looked up at him, only to see the deep contours of his eyes, the corners damp. Sensing the situation was getting out of hand, she quickly said, "Don’t cry. It was actually pretty simple."

Chen Luzhou leaned back, tilting his head up to steady his emotions. His Adam’s apple bobbed uncontrollably several times, but he couldn’t suppress the surging, overwhelming warmth in his chest—his heart felt twisted.

He took a deep breath, cradled her face, and pressed a firm yet infinitely tender kiss to her forehead—

"Are you an idiot?"

Xu Zhi’s eyes gleamed as she looked up at him. "Do you always think I only want to kiss you and sleep with you? But I’m seriously dating you, you know."

After a pause, she added, "Actually, I’ve been meaning to tell you—I’ve changed a lot since meeting you. You probably can’t imagine what I used to be like. I used to smoke, but after getting to know you, I never touched a cigarette again. I thought you might not like it, so I quit without even realizing it. And some of my friends—people you might never come across in your life—they’re actually good people, just not as fortunate. After that show we recorded, I realized that even though you come off as aloof, you’re easy to talk to. Your social circle is really clean—aside from Zhu Yangqi, who seems a little off, your friends are all top-tier elites? Is that the right way to put it? After all, that’s how you No. 1 High School people describe yourselves. That time I kissed you and you pulled away, I thought it might be better if we just ended things there—"

"End things? Don’t even think about it. Not in this lifetime." He pulled her tightly into his arms, his voice muffled against the top of her head.

"Stop pretending. You thought about it too. I know, okay?"

"I was just desperate because you were stringing me along. I was ready to settle for being your fuck buddy.""It's not about that time. I mean before, during summer break, you told Zhu Yangqi several times, 'I just have a desire to conquer her,' and Zhu Yangqi told Cai Yingying all about it." Xu Zhi broke free from his embrace, her mouth dry from talking. She turned to pour some water, only to find a wall-like presence persistently blocking her path, following her every move.

Holding her water cup, Xu Zhi helplessly pushed his chest and laughed, "What are you doing, Chen Luzhou? You're blocking my view of the snow."

He took her cup and set it aside, pressing her against the edge of the table. He just stood there, knees tightly touching hers, hands in his pockets, his gaze sincere as he said, "I really didn’t think much about it back then. I was afraid of getting too entangled with you and hurting you. You said you overthink things, but I do too. What else did Zhu Yangqi tell you?"

"Nothing much," she replied, instinctively shifting away. "Stop pressing against me."

"What are you avoiding?" He pulled her back, deliberately pressing closer. Xu Zhi tensed up, her back tingling, ears burning, vision blurring. The snow outside seemed to melt under her gaze as she heard him murmur, "You said I was cold toward you, but the moment I touch you, you react—understand? I’m not frigid. I’m just afraid. Some things aren’t foolproof. Doing it once or twice is fine, but too often isn’t good. What if something happens? I’ve seen people get pregnant even with protection—Zhu Yangqi was born that way. I don’t want you to suffer needlessly."

Xu Zhi paused, surprised by how much he’d thought about it, and chuckled, "Zhu Yangqi must be pretty resilient then."

"Yeah, he’s been tough since childhood. We used to call him Zhu the Resilient."

Xu Zhi burst out laughing and looked up at him. The heat between them grew unbearable, almost burning her heart. Uncomfortable, she muttered, "Then don’t press so close… it’s not very comfortable..."