Be Passionately In Love

When Chen Luzhou turned back, the door was closed. Without a key card, he leaned against the corridor wall for a while in silence. Then he pulled out his phone and called Zhu Yangqi. At that moment, he felt somewhat lightheaded, as if floating without grounding—until the furious curses from the other end of the line, following his shameless bragging, finally anchored him a little. He chuckled and said, "How about you curse me a couple more times?"

Zhu Yangqi unleashed a masterful stream of expletives without hesitation. "Fuck your sister, you XXX! If it weren’t for me, would you even have a shot with Xu Zhi? Hurry up and reimburse my cab fare. I’m still stuck in traffic, damn it. I thought you were some hotshot, but you needed my help just to chase a girl? Useless."

The voice on the phone was explosive, like a boulder shattering, ringing in his ears. Chen Luzhou instinctively pulled the phone away, tilting his head with a laugh. "Alright, send me the bill. Bye."

Just as he slipped the phone back into his pocket, the room door clicked softly. Chen Luzhou turned instinctively at the sound—just as Xu Zhi pushed it open. Her hair was still dripping wet, her clothes back on, standing in the dimly lit doorway. Her silhouette looked tall and slender against the light, her eyes bright as if freshly washed, clear and steady as she looked at him. "Did Zhu Yangqi extort you again?"

Chen Luzhou stepped inside, using his foot to nudge the door shut behind him. He leaned back against it, one knee bent and foot propped lazily against the wood, his gaze dropping to study her in the faint light. His eyes held something like an impending drizzle over Jiangnan—seemingly clear skies, yet with heavy clouds lurking at the edges, leaving an unsettling trace of unease.

Strange. Only half an hour had passed since earlier. Whatever heat there was should have cooled by now, yet the way they looked at each other still carried a lingering dampness, like unfinished humidity. Resting the back of his head against the door, Chen Luzhou crossed his arms and looked down at her with a roguish yet meaningful smirk. "You must’ve been pretty disappointed my mom didn’t give you any money, huh?"

Xu Zhi was still holding a towel, drying her hair. "Not exactly disappointed. Just surprised she didn’t follow the script. I’d already prepared what to say."

"Oh? What was that?"

She deliberately counted on her fingers. "I’m pregnant with Chen Luzhou’s child, and I plan to keep it. Between child support and emotional damages, the amount you’re offering definitely isn’t enough. You’ll need to add more. If there’s any left over when the kid grows up, I’ll return it to you."Chen Luzhou knew she was joking and chuckled softly, naturally taking the towel from her hand. He pulled her closer, and Xu Zhi, thinking he was going to dry her hair, stood obediently still. Instead, she watched as he leaned against the doorframe, staring at her impassively before silently twisting the towel into a rope. There was a hint of interrogation in his gaze, and Xu Zhi immediately sensed something was off. She turned to flee, but Chen Luzhou swiftly hooked an arm around her waist and pulled her back. Without even bothering with the towel, he trapped her in his embrace, wrapping his arms around her from behind. One hand held her waist while the other tilted her face toward him. He pressed his lips to her ear, his smile not reaching his eyes as he pinched her cheeks and gritted out, "You like messing with me, huh? You’re really something—holding out for three months without a single call because of my mom’s words. Did you even miss me at all?"

Being held like this made her whole body burn, her heartbeat spiraling out of control. Her ears flushed hot, and she instinctively tried to squirm away. "Why do you always pinch my face? And if you really missed me, you could’ve called me too."

"You called me trash. How could I dare call after that?"

"And what was I supposed to say? That I missed you too? That you shouldn’t go abroad, that we should throw everything away and be together? That you should abandon your parents and just live with me, that I’d give you a home? Does that sound reliable to you? Forget whether my family could even support someone like you—at our age, who would believe that just one month could leave such a lasting impression? And your mom said it herself—at our age, it’s mostly just impulsiveness and curiosity. She said your life couldn’t possibly be that bad, given your family’s foundation. But mine? Even if I graduate from a top-tier university, I’ll probably still struggle to find a job. And she’s right. If we ended up breaking up later because of real-life pressures, wouldn’t you regret cutting ties with your family for me?"

Chen Luzhou rested his head against her shoulder, still pinching her cheeks as he turned her face toward him. "Then why didn’t you say all this earlier? Why wait until now?"

Her lips puckered from his grip, and her eyes dropped to his face—cold and detached as ever, his sharp brows like icy scabbards, his gaze lifting lazily. "If I’d said it then, you definitely wouldn’t have slept with me."

Chen Luzhou scoffed. "You just had to push it, huh?"

Xu Zhi hesitated for a long moment before sighing. "Because I looked you up online when I was bored over summer break."

"Hmm?" His brow arched slightly.

"That first time we met in the stairwell during summer break, remember? You were arguing with your mom, and you mentioned a girl—Gu Yan, right? Your mom thought she was your girlfriend. Later, when I ran into her at your place, I knew you liked me a lot by then, and we were about to separate anyway. I didn’t want to make a fuss over something so trivial, so I didn’t pay her any mind. But after we split, I got curious and searched for info about you two online—"

Chen Luzhou remembered—Gu Yan’s alt account. He thought she’d deleted everything and even posted an apology. He hadn’t bothered checking, never one to care much about his online presence. "Didn’t she clarify? She was the one who liked me. I didn’t exchange a single word with her in all three years of high school. If Zhu Yangqi hadn’t been in her class, I wouldn’t even have known who she was."Xu Zhi nodded understandingly. "You're so charming, with countless girls secretly crushing on you. Even now, there are still female fans in Gu Yan's forum account praising how handsome you are. I heard you're also known as the genius of No.1 High School, completely mesmerizing people. You probably don’t even know—you have your own forum. If you search your name on Baidu, there’s a forum dedicated to you with 34 followers."

Chen Luzhou grew impatient, frowning. "...Get to the point."

Xu Zhi continued, "You said Gu Yan has big—"

He cut her off irritably, "I never said that."

"Let me finish first. You always act so cold and indifferent. I felt like I wasn’t attractive to you. Every time we kissed, it was always me initiating. On our last night together before summer break, I asked you to touch me, but you refused. Even when you did, you only touched my face. Later, I posted about it online, and everyone replied that either you had sexual dysfunction or you just didn’t like me that much—otherwise, you wouldn’t have had no reaction. Since I thought you probably did like me, it must’ve been the former. Weren’t you also seeing my dad for treatment? So I figured, if you’re going to be my boyfriend, I should test whether it works or not."

"You’ve seen the report, haven’t you?!"

Seeing he was about to hit her, Xu Zhi finally couldn’t hold back her laughter. "Alright, just kidding," she said, lifting his chin off her shoulder. "That hurts—ease up a little. During summer break, Tan Xu’s parents didn’t cause a scene at school, but before I left for Beijing, they found my dad and demanded we cover Tan Xu’s rent for his second year of retaking classes. Though I doubt Tan Xu even knew about this. My dad was completely baffled and only then learned that Tan Xu had helped me study all year but ended up with his own mental struggles, causing him to bomb the college entrance exam. My dad refused because the rent for your senior year building was ridiculously expensive. He suggested Tan Xu live on campus, but his parents wouldn’t hear it. They called me an ingrate—said I got into University A and just tossed their son aside. My dad was furious."

"In the end, my dad paid half the rent, but Tan Xu sent the money back. He didn’t take it, telling me to focus on my studies in Beijing. The more he acted like this, the more I felt like I owed him something. Then yesterday, he came to Beijing to see me, saying he couldn’t focus on studying and wanted to visit University A for motivation. So I asked Xu Gongzhu to show him around campus. Later, when Xu Gongzhu was seeing him off, Tan Xu sent me a WeChat message. He said he hoped I wouldn’t date you at least during his year of retaking the exam. He said life at University A seemed really appealing, that Chen Luzhou must be quite the standout on campus, and that my life seemed carefree. He made it clear he didn’t still have feelings for me—he was just resentful, resentful that I was doing better than him now. If you hadn’t come to see me tonight, if you hadn’t forced me to choose, I might not have even planned to write this long message. Or if I had, I wouldn’t have sent it to you so soon. I was going to write an 8,000-word essay analyzing my emotional journey over these past few months and give it to you all at once. Because I know he’s emotionally unstable right now, I didn’t want to provoke him. I just want him to focus on studying this year. No matter what school he gets into next year, only then can I truly be free of this situation. But with the way you acted tonight, I was afraid you might really never come see me again."By the time Xu Zhi finished speaking, the two were already seated on the sofa. The room remained unlit, dim and shadowy, with only the faint yellow glow of the bedside reading lamp casting light over the disheveled bed they had just rumpled. A few unused items still lay scattered on the nightstand.

The curtains were slightly parted, the window left open, allowing gusts of wind to drift in intermittently. Faintly, they could hear someone singing karaoke downstairs—sometimes off-key and mournful, sometimes shrill enough to make one’s hair stand on end. Their gazes met in the air, like waterweed floating on a lake, drifting slowly, rippling with unspoken reluctance.

Chen Luzhou was still wearing his black hoodie and track pants with cuffed hems, his legs spread slightly. He sighed, pulled her up, and settled her onto his lap before leaning back against the sofa. One arm draped over the backrest while the other hand pinched her chin lightly, helplessly. "Being your boyfriend really isn’t easy, huh?"

Xu Zhi’s hair was wrapped in a towel, nearly dry by now. She tugged it free and twisted it a couple of times. "But you still succeeded. I just told him—I’m dating you now."

"What if he gets upset?" Chen Luzhou asked.

Her hair cascaded in loose strands down her back as she looped her arms around his neck and asked leisurely, "What about you? Do you feel secure now?"

"Mhm, more or less."

"Honestly, Tan Xu isn’t that stupid. I know exactly what he’s thinking," Xu Zhi said, still perched on his lap as she continued drying her hair. "He cares about himself the most. Looking back, I actually think the happier I seem, the harder he’ll study—just so he can get into A University and punch me in the face."

Chen Luzhou reclined, his gaze teasing and possessive, though his words remained as provoking as ever. He reached over to turn on the light, laughing. "Fine, when the time comes, I’ll call the cops for you. We’ll extort five grand out of him."

Xu Zhi ignored him, suddenly remembering something. She glanced at the nearby trash can and said, "Oh, right. Forgot to tell you—I took a closer look just now, boyfriend. I think you put the condom on inside out..."

Chen Luzhou had been about to pull her up and fetch the hairdryer for her. At her words, his hand still resting on the light switch, he froze. Following her line of thought, he instinctively glanced at the trash can—empty save for the plastic liner and a single used condom, unmistakably rolled inside out.

"......"

Author’s Note:

*Condoms can indeed be worn inside out. Don’t ask why—I looked it up. And no, it doesn’t affect contraception. (I checked with a doctor too.)

*The appeal of certain tropes is all about the mutual understanding between author and reader. If it clicks, great—it means we share the same tastes. But if it doesn’t, don’t force it. Forcing it will only make things uncomfortable.