Be Passionately In Love

They went out again midway. The living room was in complete disarray, with several guys sprawled haphazardly across the carpet, half-dead from drinking. Zhu Yangqi occasionally smacked his lips, still savoring the moment. Gu Yan sat alone on the sofa, smoking, listening to Da Zhuang gloomily singing a lonely love song.

Inside the bedroom, the two were kissing when Gu Yan sent Chen Luzhou a WeChat message, seemingly sensing something.

GuGu: Chen Luzhou, I’m leaving. Aren’t you going to walk me out? It’s 2 a.m.

The next second, the bedroom door opened. Watching the two of them walk out together, Gu Yan felt an indescribable ache in her chest. The restless heart she’d carried all night suddenly sank like a heavy stone. Her slender fingers, still holding a cigarette, trembled slightly, causing the half-burnt ash to scatter onto her legs, burning a small hole in her nude stockings. She didn’t even notice, her gaze fixed blankly on Chen Luzhou.

Chen Luzhou walked over, casually picked up an unopened bottle of mineral water from the coffee table, twisted off the cap, and handed it to Xu Zhi behind him. Standing tall, he finally looked down at Gu Yan and asked, “Should I call you a cab?”

He was actually quite easygoing and polite, but Gu Yan always felt he had an air of arrogance. When he looked at someone, his sharp brows and eyes were as precise as a knife’s edge—intelligent and unambiguous. That’s why she never dared to play games in front of him. He was straightforward and never spared anyone’s feelings.

At that moment, Gu Yan genuinely believed she might never meet someone like him again. So, without a word, she stubbed out her cigarette. She didn’t even bother asking what their relationship was, as if challenging them. She threw out those words directly—or perhaps she wanted to see Xu Zhi’s reaction.

“Chen Luzhou, what if I said I’d wait for you—”

But her words were abruptly cut off by Zhu Yangqi, who suddenly woke up.

“Huh? Leaving already?” he mumbled, rubbing his sleepy eyes and running a hand through his hair.

Chen Luzhou gave a vague hum and pulled out his phone to call a cab. “I’ll get you a ride. Help me walk her out.”

“Sure.” Zhu Yangqi was reliable—he got up immediately. But he was buried under a pile of limbs, unsure how many feet were stacked on top of him. The stench was unbearable, so he kicked them off one by one without mercy.

As a result, everyone woke up. Jiang Cheng and Feng Jin also groggily sat up, scratching their heads. “Is it morning? Time for breakfast?”

“Damn, now that you mention it, I’m actually kinda hungry,” Zhu Yangqi said, clutching his stomach.

Within minutes, they changed their minds. The group decided to go out for another round. Coincidentally, the city was hosting a night excursion event that day, and the streets were still lively at this hour. They went to Chen Luzhou’s usual spot—the same seafood and bone barbecue place where Xu Zhi had first treated him to a meal.

Round and round, it felt like everything had returned to the beginning. The empty spinning horse seats at the entrance, the music fountain turned off—the whole street seemed unusually quiet now, the night scene desolate. They knew the sun would rise tomorrow, and the place would return to its usual bustle. But for now, it was as if the moment had frozen in time.This was probably the last meal, so the atmosphere was inevitably silent and oppressive, and everyone ate with little enthusiasm. The clinking of the plates was faint yet particularly noticeable, as if it were the end of a grand feast where everyone was already full. The waitstaff had begun to clear the dishes, yet no one at their table had put down their chopsticks or suggested leaving. They lingered until the very last moment, until the sky gradually lightened with the first hints of dawn.

Only then did they realize that the sun would eventually rise.

"Let's make a toast." Zhu Yangqi's eyes were red, and he gently sniffed, wiping away his tears with his arm before raising his glass high, as if that would hide his reddened eyes from others.

"Let's make a toast."

"Let's make a toast."

Zhu Yangqi's throat tightened; the alcohol felt more bitter and hard to swallow than ever. After swirling it around in his mouth, he choked out, "Cao once told me something. He said that, anyway, Chinese boys should have a certain spirit, a spirit that cannot be blown away by the wind or extinguished by the rain. As long as there is fire around us, even if there is no wind, we can reignite hope. I think this is quite uplifting, so I want to share it with the few boys here. Even if friends are not by our side in the future, when faced with difficulties, we shouldn't cry and whine; we need to be able to bear our burdens."

"Speak for yourself," Jiang Cheng said with a smile, his eyes also glistening with tears. He reached for the empty cigarette box on the table, found it was empty, tossed it back, cursed under his breath, and continued, "As for the rest of us, I wish everyone who sells paintings sells well, those who act act well, and those who study study well. As for me, I just hope to end up with Hang Sui. I want to marry her. I heard that getting a marriage certificate in our junior year can earn extra points."

"Jiang Cheng really knows how to say it. So, I wish everyone finds that person who understands your innermost thoughts soon," Feng Jin said.

Da Zhuang sighed heavily, his face flushed from drinking, peeling peanuts in his hands. "That's the hardest part. Selling a painting for a million, I feel like that's just a matter of time. Maybe I'll achieve it after I die. But finding someone who understands my innermost thoughts? I feel like I might never meet that person in my lifetime."

"Not necessarily love, right? I think that cleaning lady who just swept the floor understands you very well. You see, when you waved, she came right over to take your trash. When her broom came near, you knew to lift your feet. What great tacit understanding."

"......"

The barbecue restaurant was nearly empty, with only their table remaining. Perhaps the carefree spirit of youth was so moving that even the owner, feeling sleepy, had sat down at the cash register to doze off, not rushing them to leave.

"Fuck, say a few words."

Everyone turned to look, and Gu Yan also lifted her head to glance over. She had just typed a long string of messages to Chen Luzhou on her phone but hadn't sent them yet, so she put her phone down to listen to what he had to say.

He was sitting side by side with the girl, leaning back. One hand lazily rested on Xu Zhi's chair back, while the other rested on the table, gently rubbing the side of his glass. He had left the table twice to help Xu Zhi with her chopsticks and then to get her a tissue.Just now, Zhu Yangqi mentioned that Xu Zhi’s boyfriend was very handsome—so does she have a boyfriend, or is that boyfriend Chen Luzhou? But Gu Yan understood one thing clearly: if a man and a woman didn’t openly acknowledge their relationship at a gathering like this, then at most, they were just fuckbuddies.

She couldn’t imagine someone as cold and aloof as Chen Luzhou being a fuckbuddy with anyone. Who wouldn’t want to sleep with him? So, she had drafted a long message on her phone, wanting to ask him where exactly she had fallen short. But before she could send it, someone called on Chen Luzhou to say a few words.

A bunch of sentimental weirdos, honestly.

Chen Luzhou didn’t have much to say. In situations like this, it was better to just be a listener—the more you spoke, the more mistakes you could make. If he accidentally upset Xu Zhi, he wouldn’t have time to coax her back. Rubbing the rim of his cup, he thought for a long moment before finally sighing and tossing out a line with careless ease—

“I’ll borrow a phrase from Mr. Liang Qichao: ‘Boundless is the past and vast the future. The road ahead is long, and our days are many.’”

“Then let’s toast to the days ahead.”

“Xu Zhi, Gu Yan, what about you?”

Xu Zhi hadn’t planned on saying anything, but these sentimental weirdos weren’t letting anyone off the hook.

She leaned back in her chair, her hair—previously tied up—now completely loose behind her. The hairband had disappeared somewhere during their earlier makeout session, so she’d let it down. The strands at her temples were slightly disheveled, giving her an air of lazy nonchalance. Her delicate features were like a wild lily in a quiet valley—unrestrained and free.

“Then I hope the girls in our country aim higher. After all, the land beneath our feet is vast, and there are still so many places we haven’t been.”

Gu Yan was suddenly struck by those words. The confidence and fearless honesty in Xu Zhi’s eyes were undeniably captivating. She could also tell that Xu Zhi wasn’t trying to challenge or provoke her—it was a sincere piece of advice.

“Then I hope to achieve financial freedom for buying art soon,” Gu Yan said.

The small liquor bottles clinked together haphazardly, as if knocking open the dawn and bringing this hasty youth to an end. Outside, the sky was already bright, and breakfast stalls were gradually setting up.

People began to drift away one by one.

Midsummer seemed to have only just begun. The new T-shirts bought that summer hadn’t even had a chance to be worn, and the people they’d just met were already saying goodbye.

In the end, only Chen Luzhou and Xu Zhi remained, standing outside the barbecue joint.

The owner was closing up, the automatic metal gate behind them creaking as it slowly descended. Most of the buildings in Yifeng Alley were old and dilapidated—rows of low, single-story houses, long neglected due to Qingyi City’s constant damp weather. Deep in every alley, moss clung to the walls, and the cracks between the stone slabs reeked of a musty, greasy dampness.

They leaned against the telephone pole on either side of the entrance. The street behind them looked unusually desolate at this early hour, with rows of shops tightly shut.

The telephone pole was plastered with layers upon layers of small ads, some half-torn but still clinging stubbornly.

Qingyi City was also small—so small that even the lost dog named Lucy on a random flyer stuck to a telephone pole felt familiar. Xu Zhi, still draped in Chen Luzhou’s jacket, nudged the pole with her shoulder and pointed at the half-torn missing dog poster, grinning cheekily.

“Hey, Chen Luzhou, how did you get lost?”Chen Luzhou glanced back at the missing dog poster, where the devil-may-care husky CEO flashed a charming smile. He turned away, unfazed. "This is nothing. The name 'cy'—once I heard a wealthy woman playing mahjong call her bag 'cy,' and I was already numb to it by then."

Xu Zhi suggested, "Or you could change your name to 'cy.' Guaranteed no duplicates."

"I'm afraid people might think you have a stutter," he leaned back, recalling, "But Zhu Yangqi and I tried using it once for a game, and it was already taken."

Xu Zhi realized she hadn't played games with him yet and asked curiously, "What's your gaming name?"

"Too many to count. 'Universe's Most Handsome,' 'World's Best Lover,' and so on."

Xu Zhi: "..."

They fell into silence as the sky gradually brightened, the surroundings growing noisier. The air had been crisp and dry these past few days after the rain, yet for some reason, their eyes remained misty.

Chen Luzhou leaned against the other side of the phone booth, his hood pulled over his head, hands still tucked in his pockets. He watched a pancake stall setting up nearby, where the vendor greeted an acquaintance warmly. Without turning, he lazily asked, "Qingyi is so small. If we run into each other on the street later, will you pretend not to know me?"

Xu Zhi thought for a moment. "Actually, it's not that small. I've lived here over a decade, and besides that one time in freshman year, we never crossed paths. And you wouldn’t even have known."

"How do you know I haven’t seen you before?" Chen Luzhou pressed the back of his head against the booth, his face almost entirely hidden under the hood like a faceless specter. His Adam's apple bobbed faintly. "I need to think hard. I must have seen you somewhere—otherwise, I wouldn’t have felt this way the first time we met."

The street grew busier. Xu Zhi watched as vendors set up stalls for pancakes, soups, and all kinds of breakfast foods, their hard work evident yet their smiles moving. She asked, "Chen Luzhou, do you think money can buy happiness?"

He smirked. "For others, I don’t know. But given the chance, I think you’d trade happiness for money, wouldn’t you?"

Xu Zhi couldn’t help laughing. "Must you understand me so well?"

"Likewise."

"You know what a philosopher once said? That love might be a mental illness," Xu Zhi remarked.

"Absolutely. Missing someone so much you can’t eat—that’s pretty sick," Chen Luzhou agreed.

They leaned against opposite sides, back-to-back with the phone booth between them. Behind them, the mundane street scene unfolded as a sliver of red sunlight peeked over the mountain. The winds and rains of Qingyi never ceased.

After a long silence, Xu Zhi finally sighed softly. "Then this is where we stop."

Chen Luzhou hadn’t moved an inch, still leaning against the booth with half his face obscured. He let out a low, resigned hum. "You were right about one thing—hold your standards high. Not just anyone can chase you. Your future boyfriend should at least measure up to me."

Xu Zhi took off the jacket she was wearing and handed it back to him. "Chen Luzhou, let’s both move forward first."

We shouldn’t halt our steps for anyone."Mm."

"Then, goodbye."

Just as her footsteps began to move away, Chen Luzhou called out to her. He didn’t turn around, still leaning against the phone booth, head lowered, his voice hoarse and hollow. "Xu Zhi, can I have a hug?"

We’ve kissed so many times, but you’ve never really held me.

Despite having stayed up all night, their bodies still radiated warmth. When Xu Zhi hugged him, she could feel how solid and broad he was—like a warm wall. She doubted she’d ever meet another boy like him again.

No one could be like Chen Luzhou—bright and open with his emotions, never hiding his love or disdain. His hair was as soft as a puppy’s, but his heart was steel, scorching hot under the sun.

**

It wasn’t until he returned to the rented apartment that Chen Luzhou saw the note Xu Zhi had left for him—

I hope that in the days to come, even without me, your world will still shine brilliantly, with endless flowers and applause. As long as the rain still falls in Qingyi and puppies still wag their tails, there will always be someone who loves you.

—Xu Zhi.