Be Passionately In Love

Xu Zhi had filled out her first-choice application to University A with three majors: Architecture, Landscape and Garden Design, and Urban Planning.

In the days following her application, Xu Zhi had an argument with Old Xu because he wanted to buy her a new phone. Xu Zhi thought it was unnecessary—that money would be better spent on next month’s mortgage payment. Old Xu, feeling like his authority as a father was being undermined, abruptly put down the dishes he was washing and scolded her, “I know what you’re thinking. You think this reward is too materialistic, right? Well, let me tell you, I planned to buy it for you right after your exams. But your cousin said a new model was coming out in a few months, so I thought I’d wait. Besides, my daughter ranked in the top 30 in the city—what’s wrong with rewarding her with a new phone? How is that materialistic? Not only am I getting you a new phone, I’m also buying you a laptop. If you don’t want it, I’ll just give it to your cousin. Stop being so fussy.”

Xu Zhi really wasn’t being fussy. Her current phone was still perfectly fine—why replace it? But she did want a laptop, so she said, “Just get me the laptop. My phone can last another year. I can replace it next year.”

Xu Guangji thought that was reasonable. He finished drying the dishes one by one and put them back in the cupboard, then remembered the call from her homeroom teacher that morning. “Old Qu told me that with your grades, if you were in any other city in the province, you’d be the top scorer there.” At this, he turned to give her an impressed look. “I only found out today just how strong the students in our Qingyi City are. Out of the top 100 in the province, 81 are from our city. And in the parents’ group chat, someone mentioned that in one class of 35 students, 34 applied to Universities A and B.”

“Yeah, that’s City No. 1 High School. Almost all the top 100 in the province are from their two advanced classes,” Xu Zhi replied, leaning against the kitchen doorframe as she texted Cai Yingying. Her own score had been a surprise—she’d never broken 400 before, but this time, she’d scored just above the second-tier cutoff. Old Cai was overjoyed—as long as it was a bachelor’s degree, it was fine. At least she’d have a shot at the civil service exams later. But Cai Yingying didn’t see it that way. She thought attending a bottom-tier third-tier university was worse than a good vocational college. She wanted to go to Shanghai Maritime Vocational and Technical College, but Old Cai refused to agree. Cai Yingying was complaining to her about it—

Piece of Cake: I’m so jealous of Zhu Yangqi. Same score—400—but he got into China Academy of Performing Arts. Can you believe it? He actually got into a first-tier school. I checked—normally, you’d need at least 600 to get in there.

Xu Zhi replied: We can’t even imagine the struggles of an art student. Chen Luzhou told me Zhu Yangqi smokes a whole pack of cigarettes just to finish one painting.

Piece of Cake: No wonder he’s such a heavy smoker. During hot pot, he has to step out for a cigarette every now and then.

Xu Zhi: You two had hot pot alone together?

Before Cai Yingying could reply, Old Xu finished washing the dishes and walked past her, wiping his hands on his apron as he carried the leftovers into the kitchen. Casually, he asked, “That boy you mentioned before—Chen Luzhou—he’s from No. 1 High, right? Which class was he in? What did he score?”Xu Zhi genuinely didn’t know which class he was in. At first, she wasn’t curious, but after learning he hadn’t performed well in the exams, she didn’t dare ask further. When Tan Xu first transferred, he carried an air of superiority typical of a top-tier student, but Chen Luzhou didn’t. Zhu Yangqi occasionally gave off that vibe, so Xu Zhi initially assumed he was an art student, likely with worse grades than Zhu Yangqi. Later, when Chen Luzhou clarified he wasn’t an arts student, she didn’t dwell on it. After hearing his scores, she figured he was probably one of the top students in the regular classes, though not quite at the level of the elite students from the two experimental classes.

“He scored 713,” Xu Zhi said, recalling her lesson from the camera incident. She opened Chen Luzhou’s WeChat to ask if he had any recommendations for cost-effective laptops.

Under normal circumstances, Old Xu would have been impressed by such a score. But after hearing his daughter’s results, 713 seemed somewhat lackluster to him. In his eyes, given the somewhat “unclear” relationship between Chen Luzhou and Xu Zhi, he naturally hoped Chen Luzhou’s score would surpass his daughter’s.

So, Xu Guangji instinctively remarked, “That’s pretty low.”

Xu Zhi immediately looked up from her phone, cautioning him with lingering apprehension, “Dad, don’t say that outside. People might think I scored the provincial top mark.”

Xu Guangji closed the fridge door, a bit too pleased with himself, and gave her a smug look. “Old Qu said the provincial top scorer only got around 750. Our grading system is different from other provinces, but even if the total score were 810, very few could hit 750. Your results are outstanding—I’m proud of you.”

Xu Zhi smiled, about to modestly brush it off, when Xu Guangji seized the moment to advise her, “So, I suggest you don’t rush into making certain friendships now. Once you’re in university, you’ll likely meet even more exceptional people.”

It was unclear whether Xu Zhi fully grasped his meaning. Absently scrolling through Chen Luzhou’s recent WeChat moments, she nodded vaguely. “Absolutely.”

Chen Luzhou had taken on a photography gig and left for Shanghai the day after helping her finalize her college choices. Not wanting to disturb his work, Xu Zhi had avoided contacting him much these past few days. He had only posted one update yesterday before going silent.

The photo was likely taken in a park—an elegant old man stood in an open pigeon square, playing the violin, while a woman sat on a stone bench by the fountain, holding a fresh bouquet of roses. Clapping, she gazed at the man, lost in his performance, with such adoration that even from an eighty-year-old’s eyes, one could detect the shyness of an eighteen-year-old girl. Whether it was Chen Luzhou’s knack for capturing atmosphere or the existence of such enduring love in the world, the effect was undeniable.

Beneath the post were two comments, from Zhu Yangqi and Cai Yingying.

Cai Yingying shared Xu Zhi’s sentiment: “Wahh, I actually see bashfulness in the old lady’s eyes. The last time I smiled like that was probably right after I was born.” Zhu Yangqi replied directly to Cai Yingying, "No way, you were so coy that day at the hotpot place. You had to wrap beef in lettuce leaves, and when the lettuce wasn’t enough, you used cabbage leaves. What, couldn’t stomach it unless it was dressed up?"

Cai Yingying replied with complete seriousness, "That’s called stomach deception. Wrapping it in greens tricks the stomach into thinking I just ate a leaf, so the fat won’t notice and won’t dare to grow where it shouldn’t. You know nothing. Xu Zhi taught me that."

Zhu Yangqi replied to Cai Yingying, "Why not just eat shit then? Skip the metabolism altogether."

Chen Luzhou also chimed in, which was rare.

Cr replied to Cai Yingying: "And you believe her?"

Xu Zhi checked the timestamp—one minute ago.

Xu Zhi replied to Cr: "Have I ever lied to you? Come on, give me an example. Let’s see if I can talk my way out of it."

Chen Luzhou was probably busy and didn’t reply immediately. Xu Zhi wasn’t in a hurry, but Zhu Yangqi, ever the instigator, commented under Chen Luzhou’s post, "Hurry up, you two! Fight, fight!"

Unfortunately, Chen Luzhou declined the debate. Not a single word in response.

Seeing Xu Zhi nod, Xu Guangji nodded contentedly too. He took out the leftover half of yesterday’s watermelon from the fridge and shooed her out of the kitchen. "I’ll make you some watermelon juice. Want me to mix in some papaya?"

"No," Xu Zhi said, glancing at her phone occasionally—still no reply.

With a crisp crack, Xu Guangji split the watermelon open and suddenly remembered, "Oh, right. Old Qu called me this morning. Said the TV station wants to interview you in a few days. Why don’t you go shopping with Cai Cai this afternoon and buy some new clothes?"

Xu Zhi looked up from her phone, confused. "Interview?"

Xu Guangji realized he’d forgotten to tell her. He quickly pulled out his wallet, handed her five hundred yuan, and said, "Yeah, an interview. I forgot to mention it earlier. They’re doing a program this year, interviewing the top thirty students in the city for a special college entrance exam feature. Take the money and go shopping this afternoon."

Xu Zhi still hadn’t touched the five thousand in her bank account, but she didn’t dare refuse—afraid Old Xu would find out about the five thousand she’d won from street racing. She pocketed the cash and muttered, "I really do need to go to the mall."

While Xu Zhi and Cai Yingying were picking out camera lenses at the mall, Xu Zhi got a call from the TV station scheduling her interview for Thursday at 3 p.m. at the broadcasting center. By the time she hung up, Cai Yingying was already deep in conversation with the sales clerk, utterly shocked. "So you’re saying just this one lens costs thirty or forty thousand?"

The clerk nodded apologetically—he thought it was expensive too. "Yes, many Hasselblad lenses cost more than the camera itself."

Cai Yingying did the math. That meant Chen Luzhou’s camera and lenses alone were worth over a hundred thousand? How rich was his family? She knew Chen Luzhou had to be a rich kid, but she hadn’t imagined this level of wealth.

"Isn’t there anything a little cheaper?" Cai Yingying pressed, unwilling to give up.

The clerk sighed regretfully. "No, the cheapest is still twenty thousand."After asking around at other brands, they found no lenses compatible with the Hasselblad. Xu Zhi also felt despair for the first time, realizing how distant the world of the wealthy seemed. Cai Yingying was so exhausted that her legs felt weak. Leaning on Xu Zhi’s shoulder while descending the escalator, she sighed weakly, "Why don’t you just offer yourself as compensation? I can’t walk anymore—I’m dead tired. Chen Luzhou is really something. Never met a guy like him before."

Xu Zhi wanted to ask, What’s so special about him?

He still hadn’t replied to her message. Who knew what he was busy with?

Cai Yingying plopped onto a small stool outside a milk tea shop, rubbing her legs and whining, "Boss Zhi, I want bubble tea."

Xu Zhi: "I’ll get it for you. I’ll grab a power bank for Chen Luzhou while I’m at it. Just wait here."

She hadn’t taken more than two steps when she bumped into a familiar face. It was then that she suddenly remembered—the mall was near Yifeng Alley, and upstairs was a trendy library where Tan Xu used to spend a lot of time reading. That library also offered a special service called "Time Capsule," which had gone viral on social media. Countless people had shared letters they’d stored in its "Time Hive." Back when Xu Zhi and Cai Yingying had a falling-out and stopped talking for a while, they’d coincidentally ended up at that same shop. Standing at the entrance, they’d stared at each other for a long moment before bursting into laughter, breaking the ice instantly.

Tan Xu must have just come down from reading upstairs. He was carrying a stack of test papers, his frame gaunt, his eyes dull. His white shirt hung wrinkled on him, a far cry from the confident aura he’d had when he first transferred to their school. Now, he blended into the crowd, unnoticed. If he hadn’t spoken, Xu Zhi would have walked right past him without a second glance.

Tan Xu hadn’t planned to call out to her either, but her indifference stung. His voice was cold when he said, "Already pretending not to know me?"

Only then did Xu Zhi notice him. She took a moment to focus before sighing. "No, I wasn’t wearing my glasses. Didn’t recognize you."

It was the weekend, and the mall was packed with families for a parent-child event. Kids ran wild, and some bold ones even tugged at Xu Zhi’s legs, inviting her to play. Laughter filled the air. Xu Zhi found it strange—she’d never been popular with children. Even back when she used to study with Tan Xu, kids never approached them. No matter how lively the setting, they always ended up sitting alone.

People’s auras seemed to change—or maybe they were easily influenced. She recalled the last time she’d been here, eating bullfrog with Chen Luzhou. He had a way with kids—or rather, with everyone. Even when he teased them mercilessly, they’d still clamor to play with him. At first, Xu Zhi thought it was because he had a childlike spirit, but she later realized it wasn’t that at all. Beneath his sharpness was refinement, and beneath his aloofness lingered a trace of gentleness. No matter how cutting his jokes started, he’d always end with a smile, saying, Here, take it, it’s all yours. So what you felt from him was always sweetness.

Just as Cai Yingying got her milk tea and watched Xu Zhi and Tan Xu settle at a nearby table, Zhu Yangqi sent her a WeChat message.Zhu Yangqi: Where are you guys hanging out? Chen Luzhou won't be back until the day after tomorrow. How about I treat you and Xu Zhi to a full night out tonight?

Piece of Cake: We're near Yifeng Plaza. You could come now if you want—just in time for some juicy gossip.

Zhu Yangqi: Sounds good, but what kind of gossip?

Cai Yingying secretly snapped a photo and sent it over. Xu Zhi happened to be looking down, sipping her milk tea, her fair and slender nape exposed. Across from her, Tan Xu's face was clearly captured in the frame. He must have noticed Cai Yingying taking the photo, as his gaze happened to be fixed in their direction.

Cai Yingying pretended to take a selfie, flashing a peace sign by her cheek before sending the photo to Zhu Yangqi, who replied immediately.

Zhu Yangqi: Wait for me.

The mall buzzed with noise as Tan Xu withdrew his deep gaze from Cai Yingying's direction. His face had always been pale and lifeless, his features smooth but somewhat sagging from lack of sleep, giving him an overall weary appearance. He looked at Xu Zhi and said, "My parents went to the school yesterday and asked Teacher Qu about your scores. They really are impressive. Even if I hadn't underperformed, I wouldn’t have scored that high. With the optional subjects, my best was only around 710. Don’t worry—my parents won’t give you any trouble. I’ve explained to them that it was my idea to help you in the first place, and if I messed up, it’s on me. This past year, I’ve had some issues with my mindset."

Xu Zhi thought Tan Xu was actually quite gentle in many ways. Otherwise, during their first year after transferring, they wouldn’t have had so much to talk about. If not for his mental struggles, his future would have been much brighter. "What are you planning to do? Retake the exams?"

Tan Xu ignored her question and continued, "Teacher Qu showed me your score progression this year. I realized how steady your mindset is—you improved by 20 to 30 points almost every time. The third mock exam was already easy, yet you managed to score 40 points higher in the actual college entrance exam. Anyway, congratulations on ranking first. With your results, you could even make it into the advanced class at City No. 1 High. You’re going to A University, right?"

"Yeah, I applied for architecture."

"I’m sorry," Tan Xu suddenly said, his gaze unwavering as he stared straight at her. "I shouldn’t have thrown your mom’s necklace or lost my temper at you. I always thought since I helped you improve, you should follow my lead—"

Xu Zhi couldn’t help interrupting, "Tan Xu—"

"Let me finish," Tan Xu said, his untouched milk tea sitting in front of him, his eyes never leaving Xu Zhi. "At the very least, can’t we still be friends? In senior year, no matter what time it was, if you called me, I’d get out of bed to explain problems to you. I don’t mean anything else—I just want to know, are we still friends or not?"

As soon as Zhu Yangqi arrived at the entrance, he hurriedly sat down across from Cai Yingying, his eyes fixed intently on Xu Zhi. Cai Yingying couldn’t help but eye him suspiciously and cautiously asked, "You’re not into our Boss Zhi, are you?"

Zhu Yangqi internally cursed her for being an idiot but only asked aloud, "What’s going on? Fill me in."

Cai Yingying absentmindedly poked at the tapioca pearls at the bottom of her cup. "I don’t know. Probably talking about college applications or something."Zhu Yangqi's internal alarm bells instantly went off. "What? Does Tan Xu want to apply to the same university as her? No way, didn't Chen Luzhou say Xu Zhi applied to University A? Didn't Tan Xu bomb the exam?"

The next second, he hid his phone under the desk, sent the picture over, and with practiced ease, blindly typed out a message.

Zhu Yangqi: Maybe you should ask Jiang Cheng how many points Tan Xu actually got. Don't let him apply to Xu Zhi's school, for fuck's sake.

A reply came quickly from the other side.

Cr: Do you think University A is a vegetable market? Anyone can just waltz in?

Zhu Yangqi: But what if he finds out Xu Zhi went to Beijing and applies to a university there? That'd still be enough to give you a headache.

This message went unanswered for a long while. Zhu Yangqi thought he must be busy again, so he waited. But after quite some time, there was still no reply. Impatient, he sent a question mark.

The notification appeared: Your message has been rejected by the recipient.

That spineless bastard, can't even handle a little psychological pressure.

Xu Zhi couldn't exactly say no. After all, the memories of fighting side by side in the past were still vivid. She wanted Tan Xu to perform well in the college entrance exam and get into a good university more than anyone else. Even though everyone now knew that most of Tan Xu's mistakes were due to his own mindset issues, ten or twenty years later, when memories had faded and classmates chatted about it again, things might not be so simple. Would the after-dinner gossip turn into: "Back then, there was a male classmate who helped a female classmate improve her grades, only to end up not getting into a prestigious university himself. Isn't that the classic femme fatale trope?" Such stories weren't unheard of.

She didn't want to bear that blame, nor did she want to hear about anyone's future being tied to her. So after a moment of silence, Xu Zhi said to Tan Xu, "What was your original goal? University A?"

Tan Xu smiled weakly, his lips pale. "What, are you going to help me now?"

"You shouldn't need my help, right? Tan Xu, with your ability, getting into any university isn't a problem. Whatever went wrong this year, only you truly know," Xu Zhi had been keeping her head down, sipping her milk tea in thought as she listened to him. Now, for the first time, she met his eyes squarely—clear and determined. "If University A was your original goal, then I hope you can get into University A next year."

Tan Xu froze, staring at her without a word.

"Someone once told me that if the walls in his heart crumble, he'll build an even stronger castle. If the sun stops rising, he'll try to light every lamp instead. It might sound a bit dramatic, but I think people need that kind of unyielding spirit. No matter what your parents say, the decision is always yours. If you want to retake the college entrance exams, then do it."

They sat there from afternoon until evening. Outside the mall, a light drizzle began to fall, the raindrops tinted yellow by streetlights as neon signs outlined the buildings against the night sky.

After Tan Xu left, Xu Zhi went back to find Cai Yingying and discovered Zhu Yangqi was there too. "When did you get here?"

And where is he?

Zhu Yangqi snorted, giving her a sidelong glance. "What were you talking about for so long?"

"Convincing him to retake the exams."

"......?" As someone who had repeated a year himself, Zhu Yangqi said, "Trying to convince someone to retake exams? Careful or you'll be reincarnated as a pig in your next life, sis."

Xu Zhi sighed, finishing the last few sips of her milk tea. "It wasn't really convincing. He wanted to retake them himself, but his parents were worried about the costs. They said renting the senior year study space for another year would cost thirty or forty thousand, plus other miscellaneous expenses, so they told him to just settle for an average university. Are you two still planning to hang out? I'm heading home then."

Cai Yingying instinctively glanced at Zhu Yangqi—it would be awkward if they were left alone—and quickly said, "No way, why are you going back so early?"

Xu Zhi shook her phone helplessly. "The interview draft just got sent to me."

With that, she left.

Left behind, Cai Yingying and Zhu Yangqi stared at each other—Cai Yingying with clear disdain, while Zhu Yangqi fidgeted uncomfortably, pretending to sip his milk tea as he brushed his bangs aside.

This only annoyed Cai Yingying more, and she snatched the drink back. "Mine!"

"......"

The interview was scheduled for Thursday. On Monday, Xu Zhi went back to her hometown with her grandmother and stayed in the village for a few days.

During those days, she sat by the rippling river, listening to the murmuring water, watching the golden sun slowly rise from the west before leisurely descending behind the mountain peaks. Time passed quickly in the mountains, where the air was crisp and the winds swept forcefully across the land, carrying a refreshing sharpness. She recited everything from Marxist philosophy to Lu Xun's "A Madman's Diary," yet still couldn't erase that shadow from her mind.

She let out a long sigh, gazing at the clear, towering ridges bathed in the red glow of sunset, remembering how Chen Luzhou had crouched in front of her to tie his shoelaces—his broad shoulders, the only visible part of him being the top of his fluffy head.

He must be having a blast in Shanghai these days, meeting all sorts of new friends. Otherwise, why hadn’t he sent a single message?

So she posted a WeChat moment.

Xu Zhi: 「Player’s classic line: Whether the moon is full or not, it doesn’t matter—I’ll always be by your side.」

Author's Note: Xu Zhi: I wasn’t fishing for you earlier, but now I’m starting.

Chen Luzhou: ?

Here we go, next chapter preview: Tomorrow, witness Zhou Zhou’s grand unmasking.

This is a double update combined into one. Tomorrow’s word count will probably be even more.

Anyway, I’ll try to update more during Mid-Autumn Festival.