Always Home

On the first night of senior year, Huang Lu, who had just returned to the dorm after a date, was slightly surprised to see Huan'er. "You're here? I thought you went to the movies."

"Huh?"

"I just saw your Tian Chi coming out of the cinema. Or maybe it was his buddy..."

Half an hour ago, he had said on the phone that he was studying in the library, while his roommate had just posted a moment about playing an online game.

Huan'er grabbed her jacket and rushed out. Huang Lu hesitated for a moment before following.

In truth, a bad premonition had struck her the moment she heard the news—Tian Chi had been distracted all summer break, always citing the stress of upcoming graduation and internships. Though his grades weren’t top-tier, they were far from bad enough to make internships a struggle. Plus, with the school’s reputation and his involvement in numerous club activities, Huan'er couldn’t fathom how much pressure he could really be under. Never underestimate intuition—often, it’s just the subconscious piecing together subtle anomalies.

So the entire way, Chen Huan'er was busy making excuses—searching for a reason to believe him, and to convince herself.

Maybe Huang Lu mistook someone else for him. Maybe he was with a new friend. Maybe there was an unavoidable situation that forced him to go.

The massive cinema had ten screening halls, all showing films. Without a word, Huan'er bought two tickets and was about to charge into the first hall when Huang Lu yanked her back, exasperated. "This is your grand plan? Searching hall by hall?"

Huan'er stayed silent. She had no idea how to find him. For a moment, she even questioned whether she was doing the right thing.

Was she overreacting? Was she undermining the trust between them?

"Just answer me one thing," Huang Lu said, her tone softening. "If you see something you shouldn’t, can you handle it?"

Her mind was a mess, thoughts tangled into a suffocating knot in her chest. What if, what if, what if—she had to be able to handle it.

Huan'er nodded to her friend.

"Then listen to me." Huang Lu pulled her into the restroom hallway and called Tian Chi from her own phone.

Once, twice, three times—no answer. She sent a text: "Huan'er fell off the bed. We’re heading to the hospital. Call back ASAP."

The wait stretched unbearably long.

Huang Lu’s phone began to vibrate, and at the same time, a man stepped out into the hallway, phone in hand.

Huan'er tried to rush forward but was held back again. Only after the man re-entered the screening hall did Huang Lu drag her along, sneaking in after him.

The giant screen froze, the surround sound vanished, and the audience became meaningless shapes in the flickering light. Amid the shadows, Huan'er saw the person she was looking for—and the girl with willow-leaf brows nestled against his shoulder.

Chen Ma once treated a patient, a young woman who might never bear children after a violent blow to her lower body. During her hospitalization, the wife stormed into the ward, cursing the "homewrecker" to an early death, saying the beating was just a lesson.

A crowd gathered, the morally righteous side furious and triumphant, the wrongdoer bowed in shame despite her injuries.

The man never showed up, as if he were an outsider to the entire spectacle.

The real world is always a hundred times crueler than the news. Back then, Chen Huan'er had sighed to her mother, "What kind of idiot gets caught cheating?"

Chen Ma replied, "Either they slip up from carelessness, or they’re too arrogant—arrogant enough to trample all over the trust between two people."Outside the cinema hallway, Huan'er stared at the all-too-familiar figure across from her. Tian Chi, you're the latter type, aren't you?

Because I trusted you. You knew I'd believe whatever you said or did. That trust between us led to this mistake, didn't it?

Isn't it ironic? Isn't it laughable? Isn't it disgusting?

The person standing behind him was someone Huan'er had seen before—seen right from the very beginning, the one who came with him to the martial arts competition.

She didn't even dare think too deeply about it. Nearly two years together—what kind of life had she been living all this time?

How desperate must they have been to arrange a date on the very first day of the semester?

Huang Lu gently wrapped an arm around Huan'er's shoulders, giving a couple of firm squeezes to try and stop her trembling. It was useless. At this point, Huang Lu tilted her chin up. "Senior, care to explain?"

He wouldn't explain.

Huan'er knew him. If there had been a misunderstanding, he would have pulled her aside in the theater and explained everything in one go. He would never have waited until now.

"I'm sorry." Tian Chi lowered his head. "Huan'er, I'm sorry."

There was nothing left to say.

Huan'er crumpled the ticket in her hand and threw it at his face. "You two can stay and watch."

She had tried her best. Her upbringing told her not to curse. Her body warned her that acting out now might hurt someone. There was nothing she could do, nothing she dared do.

She grabbed Huang Lu's hand and ran out of the cinema, sprinting all the way to the street like a guilt-ridden deserter.

Once they were safe, the tears she had been holding back came pouring out. Her head hurt, her eyes hurt, her chest hurt—Chen Huan'er had become a mass of pure pain. Even untouched, everything ached. In over twenty years of life, she had never hurt this badly. It hurt so much she wanted to scream, to punch a wall, to suffocate.

She was angry—angry at herself for the pain. Why hadn't she noticed anything? Why had she been such a fool, letting herself be deceived over and over? Why had she given her heart so freely, why had she imagined a future with him? Why had she run away when she was the one who'd been wronged—she should have stood her ground!

"Pathetic. You didn't do anything wrong, so why are you crying?" Huang Lu scolded while pulling out tissues to wipe her tears. "You should've punched him. So what if we have to pay for his injuries? If you can't afford it, I'll cover it."

Huan'er buried her face in Huang Lu's chest, tears streaming down. "I feel so humiliated."

Humiliated by her complete obliviousness, by her foolish carelessness—Chen Huan'er felt utterly ashamed.

"This has nothing to do with you. Tian Chi was never a good guy to begin with," Huang Lu consoled, patting her back. "Before, I just thought he was mature and knew how to handle things. I even thought he could take care of you and make up for your shortcomings. Forget it—I must've been blind too."

Huan'er thought of all the moments they'd shared, and her tears fell even harder.

"At least you saw his true colors. That's a good thing, right?" Huang Lu cupped her face. "Chen Huan'er, say 'right.'"

"R-right..." Huan'er sobbed uncontrollably, feeling as if she had exhausted a lifetime's worth of heartbreak.

"Alright, alright. You've got days of crying ahead of you—this is just the beginning," Huang Lu said with the tone of someone who'd been through it all. She stood and took Huan'er's wrist. "Let's go back first."

"N-no, I d-don't... want to..." Huan'er couldn't form a complete sentence through her violent crying. After several stuttering attempts, she finally got her point across—the girls' dorm was full of gossip. She didn't want anyone else to know.

If she returned in this state, everyone would bombard her with questions, and she wasn't ready to face any of it.

Huang Lu understood. She rummaged through her small bag, then glanced at the heartbroken girl who had nothing with her. "Want to come home with me instead?"Huan'er vehemently shook her head at the suggestion of staying with her friend's parents.

"What then?" Huang Lu teased deliberately. "Neither of us has the means to book a hotel room."

They needed someone with an ID card to come over.

Someone who wouldn't judge no matter how humiliating the situation, someone who would stand by them through anything.

Huan'er pulled out her phone and, with what little rationality she had left, sent a message— Qi Chi, I'm in trouble. Bring your ID and come quickly.

Ten minutes later, Jing Qichi appeared in a fluster before the two of them. What followed took a slightly strange turn. As midnight approached, a man attempted to check in with two women—one wailing uncontrollably, the other grinning from ear to ear. The hotel receptionist watched them enter the elevator with endless speculation in her eyes.

Huang Lu was the first to speak. "Long story short, we caught Tian Chi red-handed at the cinema."

"Damn," Jing Qichi muttered under his breath.

At the mention, Huan'er burst into tears again. Her willpower had no control over her tear ducts—the tears simply wouldn't obey.

"Hopeless. You learned martial arts just to fight people, not dogs?" Jing Qichi scolded while offering his arm. Huan'er grabbed his sleeve and wiped her tears and snot on it.

"What happened?" he asked Huang Lu, ruffling Huan'er's hair.

Huang Lu recounted everything in detail, from their departure from the dorm to the confrontation at the cinema.

Jing Qichi listened quietly before finally cursing under his breath, "That bastard."

Once inside the room, Jing Qichi pushed Huan'er straight into the bathroom, turned on the faucet, and forcibly washed her face. "I never liked him anyway. You were the one head over heels for him. Serves you right—"

Hearing his hindsight criticism, Huan'er suddenly flared up. She squared her shoulders and yelled back, "What's the point of saying that now? Can time reverse? Or should I pretend nothing happened? It's already like this—what am I supposed to do? Tell me, what should I do?!"

"Do you really need someone to teach you that?" Jing Qichi's face darkened, his tone icy. "What good does running back here crying do? Are you just giving up on life?"

"I'm hurting! Why can't I even have the right to hurt?"

At this moment, she was like a battle-ready rooster, glaring fiercely. One more word from him, just one, and she would lunge at him.

Chen Huan'er was all bark at home.

She knew it was awful, but Jing Qichi was different from everyone else. She was willing to be scolded by him, to be lectured, and she wasn't afraid to show him her most wretched side—weak, pathetic, helpless. Stripped of all defenses and pretenses, this was a side of herself she despised and refused to face.

This was the deeper connection between them.

No need to meet often, no need for constant contact, no need for others to know how close they were. It was the kind of bond where they could accept each other completely, flaws and all—where no words or events could shake their understanding of one another. An unbreakable, unshakable, fireproof connection.

A connection they both understood but would never speak of.

Jing Qichi shook his head, signaling he wouldn't argue further, and tossed a towel at her face.

Huang Lu, leaning against the bathroom door, listened to their fight before rubbing her aching eardrums. "I'll go buy some alcohol. She won't calm down unless she gets wasted."

Jing Qichi threw his wallet at her. "What a pain."

Huang Lu caught it, glanced at Huan'er, sighed, and left.Huan'er could hear their voices, but the sounds were like fleeting rumbles of thunder—here one moment, gone the next. She simply couldn't control herself, couldn't tear herself away from those memories with Tian Chi.

One moment it was his damp embrace as he whispered "finally," the next it was that girl sitting beside him on their first meeting. Then came an ordinary after-class memory of linking arms with him on their way to the cafeteria, followed by the cinema where he shielded that girl and said, "I'm sorry."

He said he was sorry.

When her thoughts finally paused, Huan'er found herself sitting at the foot of the bed. Only a desk lamp illuminated the room as Jing Qichi took a bottle of water from the coffee table, twisted off the cap, and handed it to her.

She didn't take it. Instead, large teardrops fell uncontrollably. "Qi Chi, I want to go home."

Her vision blurred with tears, and for a fleeting moment, she saw her parents gathered around the dining table. Then, looking again, she saw familiar uncles and aunts smiling warmly, along with Song Cong and Jing Qichi.

That was her home.

A haven of tenderness that a lonely, wounded creature most relied upon.

Jing Qichi set the water down and crouched in front of her, gently wiping away her tears. "It's okay. I'm here."

Huan'er leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him.

Her nose was too stuffed to catch his scent, but she could distinctly feel the warmth radiating from his body—it felt like home, a peaceful harbor where she could freely expose her fragility.

"I don’t want to feel like this either. I don’t know how things ended up this way." Huan'er's emotions gradually settled in the quiet. "I'm angry at them, but I'm even angrier at myself. If I'd found out sooner, I would've kicked him to the curb. What a piece of work. So not worth it."

She rambled on and on. Jing Qichi wanted to push her away but thought it too cruel to do so to someone heartbroken. He half-heartedly tried a few times, but she held on too tightly. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore and admitted, "Let go. My leg's gone numb."

Only then did Huan'er release him, her tears giving way to laughter.

Jing Qichi braced one hand against the bed to stand up, stomping his feet and limping a few steps. Seeing her tear-streaked face yet curved lips, he snorted. "You're the one who got dumped. Why should I foot the bill?"

At that moment, Huang Lu pushed the door open, carrying two large bags of beer and snacks. She had come prepared to mediate a fight, but the unexpectedly peaceful scene left her momentarily disoriented. Jing Qichi took the bags from her and set them on the coffee table. Huang Lu handed him her wallet. "Truce?"

Jing Qichi nodded, deadpan. "Where's the receipt?"

"Dream on," Huan'er interjected, rubbing her dry, tear-stung eyes. "No reimbursements here."

Huang Lu couldn't help but laugh. One moment they were at each other's throats, the next they were back to normal—no apologies, no forgiveness needed. These two clowns were finally stepping onto the right path.

The three of them sat in a circle. Huang Lu waved her phone. "I pulled every string I had to get the full story. Before Tian Chi pursued you, he was interested in that senior. Just as things were heating up, he met you and apparently broke it off with her outright. The senior was so upset she went abroad for a year. After returning, they slowly reconnected. Now, they're not officially together, but it's just a thin layer of paper between them."

"She knew about me?" Huan'er, now much calmer, had regained her rationality."Definitely. Tian Chi even posted your photo on his social media. He's just fallen head over heels, you know—love that comes without reason and grows deeper with time." Huang Lu subtly glanced at Jing Qichi. "Not everyone can watch from afar and sincerely wish them well."

Huan'er's nose stung again, and she quickly gulped down more alcohol. The wrong place, the wrong time—everything she thought had been perfect turned out to be nothing but mistakes.

"One more thing," Huang Lu looked between the two of them. "This isn't confirmed yet, but I’d say it’s pretty likely. That senior of his comes from a well-off family—her uncle owns a private hospital. You two might not know this, but locals understand the kind of place it is—a rehabilitation hub for the wealthy. Tian Chi is about to graduate, after all. Hmm."

No need to spell it out further. Chen Huan'er, aside from that brief lapse in judgment earlier, could read between the lines perfectly well.

Jing Qichi scoffed. "Quite the well-laid plan."

Huang Lu shrugged. "There’s no shortage of self-serving people in this world."

So all he could say was "I'm sorry." Maybe, in his eyes, what happened today was nothing more than a relief.

He had already made his choice long ago.

Huan'er suddenly realized the pain wasn’t as sharp anymore. Losing a relationship to see someone’s true colors wasn’t such a bad deal. Yet she still grieved—for the version of herself who had given him all her sincerity and cherished him, for the one who had dreamed of holding his hand till their hair turned white, for the naive and romantic past self who believed love was just love.

"Drink up. Finish this and get some sleep." Jing Qichi clinked glasses with each of them and downed his drink in one go.

Love came to an end on this autumn night.