Chapter 116: Gasping for Breath
Teng Yi didn’t take the candy. The small, pink thing was within easy reach, yet to him, it felt as distant as if placed far away.
"What would you like to drink?" he asked.
Ruan Yu thought of the fridge full of alcohol and replied, "Anything but alcohol."
"How about tea?"
"What kind?"
"Black tea."
"Sure."
Teng Yi opened the solid wood cabinet behind him. Inside, layers of tea canisters were neatly arranged. Ruan Yu’s eyes were first drawn to the handwritten labels on the highest shelf. The labels had yellowed with age, but the delicate, graceful strokes of the writing were still faintly visible.
They were the same tea canisters Shen Bing had once stacked on the bar counter.
He had kept them. All of them.
A wave of sorrow washed over Ruan Yu, and her gaze at Teng Yi grew even more tender with heartache.
Though his back was turned to her, Teng Yi seemed to sense her emotions.
"You were here last night," he suddenly said, his tone certain.
Ruan Yu fell silent, wanting to avoid the topic. But her silence only confirmed his suspicion.
"I thought it was a dream. Turns out it was real," he murmured.
"I heard you fainted, so I came to check on you. Later, Rui Shu said you wouldn’t wake up anytime soon after the injection, so I left."
"You met Rui Shu?"
"Yes."
"What did she tell you?"
"..."
"Did Rui Shu tell you everything?" Teng Yi’s voice abruptly sharpened with urgency.
Ruan Yu nodded.
"Everything?"
"Everything."
Teng Yi’s hands stilled for a moment, and a flicker of unmistakable disgust crossed his face—though whether it was directed at her or himself was unclear.
"Teng Yi..."
He turned away, leaving her with nothing but a cold, indifferent back.
"I don’t need sympathy. And I certainly don’t need pity."
"You think I came so late last night and so early today because I pity you?"
He didn’t respond.
Ruan Yu stood and walked up behind him.
"I was worried about you." She reached out, gripping the back of his shirt lightly, her voice trembling as she spoke again, "I was worried about you!"
The gesture was intimate—like yielding, like coaxing, like testing the waters, and yet also like an act of bravery.
For a fleeting moment, Teng Yi was reminded of the past. Of that hotel in a foreign city, where she had stood behind him just like this, quietly tugging at the back of his shirt, whispering, "Let’s get one room."
That had been the moment she resolved to give herself to him. And he remembered the vow he had made to himself then—that he would give her the best possible ending in this lifetime.
But now, what was the best ending?
Perhaps the best ending was for her to stay far, far away from him.
"Did Rui Shu tell you my mother passed away?"
"She did."
"Did she also tell you that Teng Hao will never walk again?"
"Teng Yi... none of this is your fault.""Not your fault? Then whose fault is it? The heavens? Or fate?" Teng Yi clenched the tea canister in his hand. "My mother's short life was spent constantly running herself ragged for us brothers. She never got to live even one day of the leisurely life she truly loved—brewing tea and enjoying quiet moments. Yet she always said she didn't feel bitter, that she felt fortunate because she had me to take care of Teng Hao. And Teng Hao trusted and relied on me completely, obeying my every word. When I told him to dance, he'd practice day and night without rest. Before going on stage, he even thanked me for giving him the opportunity..."
"Stop talking!" Ruan Yu interrupted him through tears.
Teng Yi lifted his head, refusing to let the tears welling in his eyes fall.
"Ruan Yu, do you know? For these six years, I've regretted letting you go every single day, yet also been grateful every single day that I did. Because everyone who stays by my side ends up unhappy in the end!"
"No." Ruan Yu shook her head tearfully. "That's not true!"
"Then what is?"
"They were just accidents, nothing more!"
"..."
"Teng Yi, you can't think like that. The more you do, the worse your condition will get. If depression worsens, if it worsens..." She kept repeating, unable to voice the cruelest words.
"Just go. Don't worry about me. I didn't choose death at my worst, and I won't now."
Though his living was merely existing.
This was all he could manage—at best, a feeble struggle for breath.
And she deserved someone better, a happier ending.
Teng Yi walked away without looking back, his clothes slipping through her fingertips.
The tea canister overturned, spilling red tea across the ground like the tangled mess of her thoughts.
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