Against the Current

Xianglan puffed out her cheeks. "I deliberately held back for days without writing to tell you, just so I could tell you in person! Eldest Master should have pretended not to know, waited for me to tell you, and then properly rejoiced!"

"Silly girl, how could I possibly pretend about something like this..."

Xianglan twisted her hands anxiously, her face flushing red. "Eldest Master, you're always like this—ruining the moment like someone burning a lute to cook a crane. You can't even humor me once, can't even go along with my wishes for once."

"You're being unfair to me. How have I not humored you?"

"Humoring me just means making me follow your wishes."

Lin Jinlou guiltily rubbed his nose. "Who says so? Huh? Besides, what's yours and mine between us? Following whose wishes isn't the same anyway. And besides, since we know, we know—it's not a bad thing, why keep it hidden?"

Originally, the matter wasn't that serious, but Lin Jinlou's attitude was undeniably irritating. Xianglan felt frustrated, like a scholar trying to reason with a soldier—utterly futile. She turned her face away, ignoring him. Lin Jinlou quickly pulled her into his embrace. "I was just so overjoyed I couldn't think straight about anything else. I'm over thirty and finally having a child—how could I not be happy? I'd actually given up on this altogether, so it really feels like a big pie dropped from heaven and 'splat' landed right on my head."

Hearing this, Xianglan's heart softened. She still had her back to him, but her eyes glanced backward, meeting his gaze. Lin Jinlou winked at her; Xianglan snorted and turned her face away again. Lin Jinlou chuckled. "Don't sulk. On such a fine day as today, come, have some food first. Don't starve my son and his mother." As he spoke, he picked up his chopsticks and diligently served Xianglan's favorite dishes into a small plate, then held it up to feed her.

Xianglan stared at him with clear, bright eyes. Seeing his delighted, somewhat foolish expression—completely devoid of his usual decisive authority—she felt both amused and a pang of emotion. She opened her mouth and ate the bite he offered.

Lin Jinlou continued feeding her other dishes. Xianglan initially thought to say, "I can manage myself," but she didn't feel like moving. She quietly watched him, eating the various dishes he fed her, listening to his caring words, and seeing him smile like a silly boy. Her heart gradually settled into peace and contentment. This feeling of satisfaction and comfort seemed familiar—upon reflection, she realized she had felt this way in her previous life with Xiao Hang and in this life with Song Ke. Those brief, beautiful moments had been straws she desperately clung to during hardships. She never would have imagined that such happiness could come from Lin Jinlou—not the trembling, cautious sips of before, but a tranquil, secure outpouring.

It was an early autumn afternoon. Xianglan looked out the window and saw clouds like bleached bones, thin and white against the vast, lonely sky. A gentle breeze stirred her loosely tied hair. Around the Autumn-Clipping Pavilion, the pond water was emerald clear, half-covered with lotus leaves and dotted with hibiscus. The banks were lined with rugged rocks and planted with rare flowers and exotic plants, all in full bloom, brilliant as an embroidered screen—as one flower faded, another bloomed, lush and vibrant. Another year had passed; the scenery remained, but people had changed, with so many shifts and turns. Her first turning point in the Lin mansion had been at a banquet in this waterside pavilion, where Cao Lihuan secretly added peach juice and she reported it to Qin Shi's confidante. The world was unpredictable—back then, she never would have dreamed that one day she would sit here dressed in fine silks, never would have dreamed.Lin Jinlou fed Xianglan for a while until she shook her head, refusing to eat more. Then, half coaxing and half commanding, he made her finish a bowl of porridge before picking up his chopsticks to wolf down his own meal. Xiao Juan and Hua Shan cleared the remnants of the meal, brought up fresh fruits and pastries, brewed hot tea, and draped a jade-colored, gold-woven jacket with a subtle "Double Happiness" pattern over Xianglan's shoulders.

The two of them sat in the waterside pavilion, exchanging idle, nonsensical chatter, intermittently discussing the recent happenings at home, the congratulatory visits they had made, and mentioning that a letter had arrived from Lin Dongxiu. Lin Dongxiu had given birth to a daughter after ten months of pregnancy. Though disappointed, she adored the child dearly and wrote about daily trivialities for Xianglan to read. At the end of the letter, she also mentioned Jiang Xiyun.

Jiang Xiyun had indeed enjoyed a stroke of good fortune, marrying into a prominent family as a replacement wife. However, the household was complex, with no one easy to deal with from top to bottom. Her husband had concubines, and his previous wife had left behind children. Her mother-in-law, having heard rumors, was not fond of her but had reluctantly agreed since her son was willing. Still displeased, the mother-in-law had stuffed two charming concubines into her son's quarters during the newlyweds' early days. Jiang Xiyun, sweet-tongued yet firm in action, skillfully navigated the household—maneuvering between superiors and inferiors, winning favor left and right, feigning ignorance while forming alliances, suppressing and sidelining rivals. Her tactics were shrewd, every move calculated and under control. She never suffered losses in words or actions, won her husband's affection, and outmaneuvered her mother-in-law, sisters-in-law, and other relatives in schemes, steadily securing her place in the household. Yet, such behavior inevitably bred enemies. Two months prior, while riding in a carriage back to her maternal home, someone had secretly placed wheat grains in the horse's ears. The horse, unbearably itchy, grew frantic and bolted, throwing her from the carriage. She miscarried on the spot. The physician said the bleeding had been perilous, and surviving was no small miracle, but it would likely be difficult for her to have children in the future.

Xianglan paused and sighed deeply, saying, "Sister Xiu concluded by writing, 'This shows that the net of Heaven may be wide, but it lets nothing through; retribution follows cause and effect without fail.' That is precisely what I would say too."

Lin Jinlou stroked Xianglan's cheek, drawing her into his embrace, and said, "The path one treads is of their own making. She was too self-serving in her dealings with others—no wonder things turned out this way."

The two fell into a long silence, broken only by the bubbling of the iron kettle on the small red-clay stove.

Lin Jinlou played with the bracelet on Xianglan's wrist and said, "My second brother is remarrying at the end of the year. Don’t forget to prepare a gift and send someone to deliver it when the time comes."

Xianglan was taken aback. "Second Master Xuan is remarrying? Who is he marrying?"

Lin Jinlou replied, "It was just settled—the daughter of an old acquaintance. After her father died and her mother remarried, the family fell into decline and was reduced to utter poverty. She sought refuge with relatives and, from what I hear, endured much hardship. She’s fair-skinned and neat in appearance, gentle and reserved in nature, speaking little. Her elder brother is ambitious—he passed the imperial examination and became the Old Master’s protégé, known for his loyal and honest character. The Old Master personally met the girl and approved the match. Tsk, my second brother has always favored coquettish types like Madam Tan. Who knows if this simple, honest girl will suit his fancy?"Since that incident, Lin Jinxuan had fallen seriously ill, his health fluctuating between improvement and relapse. When he finally recovered somewhat, his spirits remained deeply despondent. While others could tolerate this, Old Madam Lin fretted day and night, sighing incessantly. Lin Jinlou, however, laughed and said, "I know how to cure Second Brother's illness—a beautiful concubine will surely restore him." Xianglan couldn't help rolling her eyes at him, but Lin Jinlou winked back. Taking his words seriously, Old Madam Lin searched among the maids but found no suitable candidate, so she spent silver to purchase a stunning beauty from outside and placed her in Lin Jinxuan's chamber. Within a few days, Lin Jinxuan's spirits lifted, and he began eating an extra bowl of rice. Soon after, Xianglan heard from the maids that Lin Jinxuan was gently holding the girl's hand to teach her calligraphy. The portrait of Tan Luhua that Xianglan had painted, which once hung in his bedroom and which he would gaze at daily with tears of remembrance, had quietly been taken down and stored away no one knew where.

Xianglan could only sigh, reflecting that ordinary romantic attachments were often just like this—eternal, unwavering devotion was a rarity in the mortal world, which was why such tales became timeless legends once they appeared. Whether passion or deep affection, most could not withstand the erosion of time. As a new love bloomed like a flower, the old one gradually faded into a shadow, leaving only faint ripples that eventually vanished. Life, after all, had to go on.

Xianglan sighed softly and said, "Tan Luhua is still confined in the temple. In a year or two, if she's willing, we should let her marry into an ordinary family."

Lin Jinlou picked up a piece of hibiscus cake with his chopsticks, placed it on a small plate, and pushed it toward Xianglan. "You're still worried about her? She's shrewder than you. The old nuns at the convent have grown lax in their supervision—she's already primped herself with makeup and been flirting with a scholar lodging there. She just doesn't dare go further yet. The Old Master intends to release her in three to five years, but not now." He looked up and saw Xianglan's stunned expression, as blank and adorable as a porcelain doll, and couldn't suppress a laugh. He pinched the tip of her nose. "In all the world, you're the only one this foolish."

Xianglan swatted his hand away and shot him a sidelong glance. "This is great wisdom masquerading as folly—simplifying complexity."

Lin Jinlou chuckled and couldn't resist kissing her cheek. Seeing his smug, teasing grin, and noticing no one was around, Xianglan impulsively wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek in return. Lin Jinlou froze in surprise, then laughed. "Well, well! Incredible! You, little pedant, actually kissed me outside the bedroom—am I dreaming today?"

Xianglan blushed, released him, and pretended not to hear. Lin Jinlou wanted to tease her further seeing her shy demeanor, but reconsidered—angering Xianglan would be unwise, lest she refuse to kiss him outdoors in the future. He restrained himself and merely grinned, serving her more food. "You're about to bear my son, yet you're still so bashful. Do you remember what I whispered to you at night before I left last time?"

Xianglan's face flushed deeper, and she glared at him before asking, "What if it's a daughter?"

Lin Jinlou beamed. "A daughter is fine too—I'll love any child you bear. A son would just satisfy the elders and spare us their nagging."Xianglan also smiled, finally feeling at ease. After eating half a piece of cake, she suddenly remembered something and said, "Master sent a letter two days ago saying that during the Ghost Festival, various temples are holding Grand Compassionate Repentance ceremonies. He instructed the household to withdraw silver to perform meritorious deeds for the deceased ancestors. The silver has already been withdrawn from the accounts, but I noticed Third Miss's name is still on the list of those being prayed for... Could she really be dead? The other day when I went out, I saw a woman wearing an apricot-yellow top and reddish-brown skirt walking past on the street. Her figure from behind looked exactly like Third Miss's, but unfortunately it wasn't her."

There had been no news of Lin Dongling. Some said they had seen her dressed as a peasant woman sitting on a market cart in Qing County. Others claimed to have spotted her heavily made-up, waving from a balcony in the brothel districts of Yangzhou. There were rumors she had become the adopted daughter of a wealthy man in Baoding, or that she had married into a family in the outskirts of the capital. The Lin family sent people to investigate each lead, but none proved true. Lin Dongling had always been selfish and willful, with blood on her hands—ultimately spoiled rotten by Wang Shi. Xianglan had never liked her, yet now she couldn't help feeling some pity for her.

Lin Jinlou looked up at the sky, his face contemplative. Since Lin Dongling's disappearance, the Lin family had sent people to search for her both openly and discreetly. On the tenth day after she went missing, the City Defense Force reported that they had retrieved a young female corpse from the reeds along the northern moat. The coroner determined she had been raped before being murdered. Lin Jinlou went personally to identify the body, but it was too decomposed to recognize the face. Half-submerged in water, the body had swollen beyond recognition of its original stature. The clothing was torn to shreds, though the colors somewhat resembled what Lin Dongling had been wearing when she disappeared. Unable to confirm the identity, Lin Jinlou still claimed the body, buried it in a grave, and kept it to himself, fearing that Wang Shi might suffer if she knew.