Against the Current

Qin Shi was already stunned. With tears in her eyes, she stepped forward and clung to Lin Changzheng's arm, saying, "Master, please take care of yourself. We are all family here, with no outsiders. Let's talk things over calmly—don't let anger harm your health." Lin Changzheng was panting heavily, his chest heaving violently. He had always respected Qin Shi and even feared her to some extent, but now he could not care less. Pushing her aside, he snapped, "Have you gone mad too? How could you indulge him like this?"

Lin Jinlou's eyes were bloodshot, and he unconsciously took half a step back. Every word struck his heart like a hammer, making him furious and tormented, as if his heart were being fried in oil. Yet, this was his father—there was nothing he could do. It felt like facing imminent defeat on the battlefield, commanding thousands of troops but unable to control them. He stepped forward to stand before Lin Changzheng, gritting his teeth and saying, "She didn’t shamelessly insist on staying in our household—it was I who shamelessly insisted on keeping her!"

Lin Changzheng slapped Lin Jinlou across the face with a sharp crack, trembling all over with rage. "Rebellious! Utterly rebellious! Kneel down!" He staggered backward and collapsed onto the kang. Qin Shi hurried over to soothe him, while Lin Jinlou had no choice but to reluctantly kneel.

Lin Changzheng pointed a trembling finger and said, "Have you lost your mind? Are you turning your back on your own family? Enough! That maid was once left behind in Yangzhou under dubious circumstances. Even if she weren’t a servant, even if she came from a respectable family, such a tainted past makes her unworthy!"

Lin Jinlou’s underclothes were soaked with cold sweat. He felt as if he could barely breathe, his heart pierced by a thousand needles. Closing his eyes briefly, he felt the veins on his forehead throbbing painfully, his throat dry and rough. He said, "How is she unworthy? Why was she left in Yangzhou? Wasn’t it to save Mother and Sister? Later, she even saved your son! For that alone, she is worthy in every way!"

Lin Changzheng fumed, "If there is a debt of gratitude, repay it properly. How can you mix things up and bring shame upon the ancestors of the Lin family? I heard she once went to the Song family and had some past with that Song boy—stirring up trouble, scheming to climb the social ladder. Such deep cunning and tactics! A lowly person like her, how dare she harbor such delusions!"

Lin Jinlou could no longer suppress the fire in his heart. Gasping for breath, he gritted his teeth and said, "So the ancestors of the Lin family don’t understand repaying kindness? They’re not even as good as a woman. Let me say it again—she is not lowly. Even if she were a servant, she would not be lowly!"

Lin Changzheng leaped up in fury, grabbed Lin Jinlou by the collar with both hands, and snarled, "You wretched fool! Unrepentant! Are you determined to anger me to death today? If you persist in your stubbornness, don’t blame me for being merciless—I will cut off this future disaster!"

Lin Jinlou jolted in shock, his eyes fixed on Lin Changzheng’s gaze, which gradually sharpened. He whispered, "What do you intend to do, Father?"

Lin Changzheng sneered, "I raised this unfilial scourge who cares nothing for the Lin family’s reputation and future, but I cannot indulge your recklessness! That girl has done our family a kindness, and it should have been a tale of repaying her with a lifetime of prosperity. But if she oversteps her bounds, don’t force me to darken that tale."

Lin Jinlou stared straight at Lin Changzheng, his face frosty. He nodded slightly and said, "Fine, fine, fine. If you lay a single finger on her…"

Lin Changzheng retorted coldly, "What if I do? Will you kill your own father and mother? Then I shall disown you as my son!"Qin Shi stepped forward and grabbed both their arms, weeping as she said, "You're father and son, how did it come to this? Whatever happens in the family, can't we discuss it properly? If you two sever all ties, it'll be the death of me." Having said this, she couldn't hold back her tears.

Lin Jinlou, his face pale, stared at Lin Changzheng and slowly said, "I wouldn't dare. But today I'll leave this one statement here: unless I die, I will marry her! Even if she dies and turns to ashes, I'll still marry her memorial tablet and live with it."

Qin Shi was greatly shocked and exclaimed in disbelief, "Lou Ge'er! What are you saying!"

Lin Changzheng trembled with rage, nodding repeatedly as he said, "Fine, fine, I'll remember these words of yours. Let's see how you fare. You unfilial beast, daring to challenge me? If you dare do it, I'll disown you! Get out! Get out!"

Lin Jinlou stood up and staggered back a few steps, his face ashen and covered in sweat, as if drunk. In a daze, he stumbled out. Qin Shi called out to him several times in a tearful whisper, but he didn't hear any of it; his ears were filled with a roaring sound.

In the room, Lin Changzheng sat down stiffly, then slumped against the kang, feeling as though his body had fallen apart. Lin Jinlou had been a domineering child since young, and he, as the father, had never been able to control or subdue him. The boy even took pleasure in opposing him. Still, he had always known his limits and strived to improve. Even when he talked back, it was usually with a cheeky grin. This was the first time he had seen his eldest son like this—standing before him, taller and sturdier than him, his face cold and imposing, exuding authority. It suddenly dawned on him that this son of his had truly become a decisive general, daring to challenge and contend with him. He truly could no longer control him.

Lin Jinlou returned to the Hall of Flourishing Spring. Xiao Juan, Hua Shan, Ling Qing, and Ling Su were kicking a shuttlecock in the courtyard. When they saw Lin Jinlou enter and noticed his disheveled clothes and wretched appearance, they exchanged glances, biting their fingers and clicking their tongues, then quietly slipped away one after another. Lin Jinlou paid them no mind, staring blankly as he returned to his room. Hongjian and Lulan had not yet left. Following Lin Jinlou's instructions, they were keeping Xianglan company and chatting with her, while Xue Ning busied herself serving tea and arranging fruits. When Lin Jinlou entered, the four stood up. Seeing the red slap mark swollen on his face, they were all startled but dared not say more, quickly taking their leave. Xue Ning seemed thoughtful, glancing at Lin Jinlou, then at Xianglan, before closing the door and leaving.

Lin Jinlou paced back and forth in the room like a trapped beast, his heart unbearably agitated. He fetched the leather sandbag used for practicing boxing and pounded it relentlessly, blow after blow, until his hands were red and his knuckles swollen. Beads of sweat rolled down, and with each breath, his lungs burned dry and painful. He fought until his body was on the verge of collapse, with not an ounce of strength left. Staggering a couple of times, he collapsed to the ground. After a while, he crawled up and sat against the wall, his eyes fixed on the blue sky outside the window, lost in a daze like a stone-carved statue.

Xianglan had been silently watching him all along. She had never seen Lin Jinlou like this, and her heart ached with an indescribable sorrow. She couldn't help but rise to her feet, taking two steps before hesitating. Just then, Lin Jinlou suddenly turned his head. With his back to the light, his expression was unclear as he said in a low voice, "I thought you'd come over to check on me." He gazed at Xianglan for a long moment before turning his head away again.Xianglan choked up, her heart heavy as she walked over quietly and crouched down. Unable to resist, she reached out and touched Lin Jinlou’s face, whispering, "There’s ointment in the drawer. Let me apply some for you." Only when her fingers made contact did she snap back to reality, but as she tried to pull her hand away, Lin Jinlou seized it, his eyes fixed intently on her.

For a moment, they stared at each other. Xianglan met his gaze directly but soon grew flustered, lowering her head. Then she noticed Lin Jinlou’s hands—red, swollen, and bruised at the knuckles. Her voice softened to a near-whisper: "Why did you have to do this? You... I’ll go get the ointment." With that, she withdrew her hand, stood up, and wiped the corner of her eye with a handkerchief as she turned away.

Soon after, Xianglan returned with the ointment. She gently applied it first to Lin Jinlou’s face, then to his hands. Lin Jinlou allowed her to tend to him without a word, his eyes vacant as he stared out the window. Xianglan brought over a bowl of tea and offered it, saying, "Take a sip."

Suddenly, Lin Jinlou grabbed Xianglan’s wrist and pulled her into his embrace. She gasped in surprise, and the bowl of tea crashed to the floor. Holding her tightly against his chest, he buried his nose in her neck and took a deep breath. Xianglan raised her arms and wrapped them around him. He shuddered, and the tension in his body slowly eased.

Xianglan asked softly, "What’s wrong with you?"

Lin Jinlou remained silent for a long while before murmuring, "Xianglan, do you hate me?"

Xianglan froze. Did she hate him? In her eyes, Lin Jinlou had always been a tyrant, a demon—forceful, domineering, sharp-witted, and proud. He had oppressed her repeatedly, pressing her into the mud with one hand, yet saving her with the other. But now, she could no longer clearly recall it all. She wasn’t old, yet the past had blurred like distant clouds and smoke. Perhaps she was just someone destined to suffer, foolish and heartless. The harm he had done to her had gradually faded to ash, but the kindness he had shown her remained etched in her heart—especially that snowy night when, gravely wounded and clinging to his last breath, he had entrusted Yuan Shaoren with her future care.

Before she could answer, Lin Jinlou let out a derisive snort and said, "You do hate and despise me, don’t you?" Xianglan struggled forcefully, cupping his face in her hands and looking straight into his eyes as she shook her head earnestly. "I don’t hate you. I stopped hating you long ago."

"Right, you’re soft-hearted. You’ve never hated anyone."

"..."

"Then... do you love me?"

"..." Xianglan’s deep, pool-like eyes fixed on Lin Jinlou. Her heart raced wildly, and her throat tightened. Softly, she asked, "Why does the Eldest Master ask this?"

"I just wanted to know. I, I... never mind." He avoided her gaze but held her even tighter. After a long pause, he muttered, "It’s nothing... I love you, and that’s enough."

Xianglan’s heart clenched, overwhelmed by a tumult of emotions that threatened to tear her apart. Trembling slightly, her eyes glistened with tears. She rested her face on Lin Jinlou’s shoulder, hiding her tear-streaked cheeks from his view.After a moment, Lin Jinlou said softly, "Did my father give you a hard time today? Don't take it to heart. He's the type who finds fault with everything. Just show him respect and treat whatever he says like a folk song... He'll probably stay in the capital this time. With the Second Prince's rebellion, many court officials have been implicated, and the court has suffered greatly. Given his outstanding political achievements, the old man will likely join the Grand Secretariat. It's better for him to remain in the capital... I've been wanting to give you a grand gift, to ensure you'll never be wronged again, but it's been delayed. Once it's settled, we'll return to Jinling and live our carefree lives, without having to mind anyone's displeasure."

Xianglan quietly wiped her face with a handkerchief and looked at him, asking, "What grand gift?"

Lin Jinlou patted her shoulder and after a long pause said, "Let's talk about it when it's settled. I don't know if you'll even value it... Never mind that. After we return to Jinling, I'll go with you to visit your family. It's been a while since you've seen your parents—you must miss them terribly, don't you?"

Xianglan remained silent, listening to Lin Jinlou's rambling while her thoughts lingered on the "grand gift." She was clever, and over these past days, as Lin Jinlou busied himself—first having The Story of Hermit Lanxiang adapted, then having her paint for Lin Zhaoxiang, taking her to meet his parents, and now acting like this—she had already guessed eighty to ninety percent of what it was about. Suddenly, she cupped Lin Jinlou's face and planted a gentle kiss on his cheek. Lin Jinlou felt as if the sky had fallen and the earth split, his vision spinning. Hoarsely, he called out, "Xianglan..." before pressing his lips to hers.