Lin Jinlou turned her hand over and examined it several times, then said indifferently, "Oh, so you're not content following me? You'd rather suffer hardships outside? You'd be happier sold to a brothel as a prostitute?" With that, he pushed Xianglan away, pointed at her and sneered, "Look at your wretched appearance—ghastly enough to haunt ten people for half a month. You ungrateful thing. You've really grown bold, daring to sneak away in secret. How did I not realize earlier that you were deceitful and slippery, huh? Did you think falling ill would let you off the hook?"
Xianglan hung her head in silence, occasionally wiping away tears.
Just as Lin Jinlou was about to scold her further, a young maid entered carrying a tray with a bowl of porridge and two side dishes. Lin Jinlou fell silent and ordered the kang table to be moved onto the bed. Xianglan saw it was a bowl of plain rice porridge with light dishes like pickled bamboo shoots and tender greens. She had no appetite and was too anxious about Lin Jinlou pressing for answers, feeling her head grow increasingly heavy and dizzy.
Lin Jinlou pushed the celadon bowl closer to Xianglan. Seeing her dazed, he said, "Eat something first. You need food in your stomach before taking medicine."
Xianglan's headache made her nauseous. She didn't want to eat but didn't dare defy Lin Jinlou, so she reluctantly picked up the spoon, took two bites, then set it down. In a small voice, she murmured, "I can't eat anymore."
"Just two bites? You think this is feeding a cat?... Don't like it? There was meat porridge, but the physician said you can't handle greasy or rich foods, so you have to eat this bland stuff."
"It's not that I don't like it... I just can't eat..."
"Are you at it again? Throwing a tantrum and sulking with me?"
Seeing Lin Jinlou about to glare, Xianglan forced herself to take another spoonful, swallowing it with difficulty. Her head ached, her body felt sore, and chills washed over her in waves. She thought despairingly that perhaps she was simply ill-fated—all she wanted was a peaceful place to live, so why was it so impossible? How had she encountered villains while perfectly safe at the temple? And Lin Jinlou—she'd hidden all the way in Yangzhou, such a long distance, yet he'd still dragged her out. He'd saved her again, and she owed him once more, but the thought of returning to the cold, imposing gates of the Lin Family made her heart sink. What would her future be like? Relying on her looks to please others, forcing smiles, serving Lin Jinlou and his future Taitai in constant fear, enduring a lifetime with bowed head and trampled dignity?
Life is bitterly short, yet enduring hardship makes it feel endlessly long. She had only been Lin Jinlou's concubine for about a year, yet it felt like several lifetimes had passed, her heart suddenly aged beyond its years.
Xianglan hadn't meant to cry, struggling to hold back, but the tears wouldn't stop. They dripped into the porridge bowl. She scooped a spoonful into her mouth, the taste overwhelmingly bitter, the bitterness seeping straight into her heart and making her shiver involuntarily.
Lin Jinlou hadn't expected Xianglan to burst into tears after one bite of porridge, her tears falling like broken pearls while she desperately kept shoving spoonfuls into her mouth. He took the bowl away, frowning, and after a long pause said, "If you can't eat, then don't. No one's forcing you... This is for your own good. The physician said the medicine harms the stomach and you need at least a bowl of plain porridge. Later, I'll have Xiao San'er and the others find some blood swallow and ginseng to make tonic soup for you... Stop crying, alright? Can you hold back the tears?"
Xianglan tried her utmost to restrain herself, wiping her eyes with her sleeve, her shoulders trembling like a helpless, pitiful little kitten.Lin Jinlou removed the heated brick bed table, climbed onto the bed, and pulled Xianglan into his arms. Stroking her hair, he said, "You're just too stubborn, keeping everything bottled up inside. If you were unhappy in the Lin Family, why didn't you tell me? Of course I'd stand up for you—if anyone dared bully you, I'd have dealt with them immediately. But instead, you ran off without a word. Do you know I turned all of Jinling upside down looking for you? Huh? I even investigated every distant relative of your parents. These days, human traffickers in Jinling don't dare trade young girls around your age anymore. Sure, someone in the Lin Family might have mistreated you, but was life outside any better? You must have done plenty of dirty, exhausting work—your hands have grown rough. A young woman like you, living alone in a temple... if you looked like Li Kui, it might be one thing, but you're pretty and isolated in a nunnery. It was only a matter of time before something happened. What if I hadn't come tonight? Have you ever thought about that?"
Xianglan continued to cry in his arms, her sobs muffled. Lin Jinlou could already feel his chest damp with tears. He gently stroked her long hair again and said softly, "Earlier, I just asked you to eat a few bites of porridge, and you started crying. I only scolded you a little, and you're acting so wronged. Alright, stop crying now. You're still sick—if you cry too much, you'll get a headache. Let the maids bring water to wash your face, take your medicine, rinse your mouth, and go to sleep. You've been sleeping since you came back this morning, but I've been running around nonstop, utterly exhausted. I've been wanting to rest for a while now." He glanced around but couldn't find a handkerchief, so he grabbed the pillow towel embroidered with colorful mandarin ducks playing in water, lifted Xianglan's face, and wiped it for her.
Xianglan stole a glance at Lin Jinlou. In the candlelight, his sharply defined face appeared even more handsome, without any trace of anger, and his usually imposing aura had softened somewhat. Her head felt too heavy, so she let him wipe her face with the pillow towel.
Lin Jinlou then ordered the maid to bring medicine and water. Xianglan had no choice but to wash her face again with the hot towel, take her medicine, and rinse her mouth. After the maid withdrew, Lin Jinlou got into bed and was about to blow out the bedside lamp.
Xianglan finally spoke in a hoarse voice, "The ones who helped me escape were my former senior sisters from the temple. Master, please be merciful... I deceived them; they didn't know the truth." As she spoke, her voice choked up again.
Lin Jinlou snorted but turned to look at Xianglan's swollen, tear-filled eyes and reddened nose. He sighed, reached out, and patted her, saying, "Alright, I'll let it go this time."
Xianglan was taken aback. She had prepared a whole list of pleas but hadn't expected Lin Jinlou to drop the matter so easily.
Lin Jinlou rolled over, propping himself on his elbows to trap Xianglan beneath him, looking down at her. "Since I've agreed to this one thing, you're not allowed to cry anymore. Before, Taitai had prejudices against you, but now she regrets how she treated you and keeps urging me to find you. In the past three months, she's sent gifts to your family four times, afraid your parents would worry, so she didn't dare tell them you were missing. When you go back, rest assured—no one in the entire Lin Family will disrespect you... I work myself to the bone outside every day, and when I come home, I just hope for someone who understands warmth and affection and can say a few kind words. I don't expect you to pluck the moon from the sky or know how to serve perfectly. Just be good and cause less trouble, alright?"Xianglan bit her lip, her long eyelashes drooping. She only felt a headache and had no energy left to think more about Qin Shi, Lin Jinlou, or returning to the Lin Family.
Lin Jinlou seemed to say something more, but as the medicine took effect, Xianglan felt his voice grow extremely distant. She closed her eyes and sank back into deep sleep.
Thanks to Muminkonghua, zhaoye1978, and qian20051978 for the sachets, Yueguanglanlan and lilywang1205 for the Peace Talismans, and everyone for the pink votes ^_^
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