The little fox Wang Daxia had stumbled in the gutter—he'd fallen for a trap. This wasn't feigned unconsciousness; he was genuinely knocked out!
It wasn't that he hadn't been cautious enough, but this household didn't play by the usual rules—they were far too impatient.
Based on his eight previous experiences of being dragged off the streets, whenever he went to a girl's home, they would first serve him tea and refreshments, treating him hospitably. Then they would subtly inquire whether he was married, about his family background, his hometown, and so on. After that, they would present him with a set of silk clothes to change into, deliberately showcasing the family's wealth and status. They would promise that if he agreed to become a live-in son-in-law, all the family assets would be his in the future, and so on.
Families who cherished their daughters and didn't want them to enter the palace usually had decent means. They wouldn't just drag any random man home to marry their daughter and condemn her to a lifetime of hardship.
It was only because of the special circumstances of the Imperial Concubine Selection that their daughter was condescending to marry him. Otherwise, a poor boy like him could only dream of marrying such a fine wife in the future!
Such a golden opportunity—miss this chance, and there won't be another. Strike while the iron is hot!
You refuse? Then quickly take off the silk clothes, put on your coarse garments, and get out!
They employed a mix of emotional appeals, logical reasoning, and both soft and hard tactics to coax him into their scheme.
Thus, Wang Daxia had assumed the cup of tea was just the beginning. He never expected this family to be so impatient—without even probing his background or tempting him with wealth, they directly drugged his tea and knocked him out.
Wang Daxia's body felt as if all strength had been drained by that cup of tea. He couldn't resist, and his mind grew muddled, allowing others to manipulate him at will. It was as if a foggy glass separated him from the real world—hazy, dreamlike, and illusory.
When the man handed him the Marriage Certificate, Wang Daxia was initially stunned. Then a familiar scene surfaced in his mind: he was drunk in a tavern, the owner handed him the bill, and he wrote his father's name, "Wang Boda," instructing the proprietor to collect the money from the Wang residence.
Such incidents had happened so often that writing his father's name had become muscle memory. In his unconscious state, given a brush, he instinctively wrote "Wang Boda."
Why was this family in such a frantic hurry? Directly drugging the prospective son-in-law to force the marriage, making it a done deal?
Free wives through such forced matches weren't "lucky breaks" that just any common laborer or peddler could stumble upon.
Wang Daxia, disguised as a poor boy, perfectly matched the preferences of families seeking such matches. Moreover, rumors were rampant in the streets that Embroidered Uniform Guard spies were posing as destitute youths to deliberately lure families into dragging them home as sons-in-law. Then the spies would jump out to intervene, resulting in the daughter remaining unmarried and the family having to compensate with money and their daughter. That very night, Pages and elderly eunuchs from the Directorate of Ceremonial would come to personally inspect the girl. If she met the selection criteria, she would be sent to various government offices in preparation for the preliminary rounds.
This sent such families into a panic. They looked down on poor farm boys and idle loiterers from the streets, deeming them unworthy of their daughters. Being overly picky, they delayed for some time. Upon learning that the eunuchs from the Directorate of Ceremonial investigating in Baoding Prefecture might arrive at any moment to inspect their treasured daughter, and given that their daughter was quite attractive and healthy, she would certainly be chosen!
The father grew desperate. Coincidentally, the matchmaker brought over the newly abducted Wang Daxia. At first glance, he appeared to be a refined youth from a fallen scholarly family—exactly what the father had been searching for. He was the one!
Fearing the arrival of the selection eunuchs, the father resorted to this desperate measure: he drugged Wang Daxia's tea, had him sign the Marriage Certificate and press his fingerprint, and immediately prepared for the wedding night!According to the original plan, Wang Daxia would enter the room, confirm that the other party was forcibly seizing young men from good families, then immediately send a signal into the air. Lu Ying and the others would rush in to stop it, imposing fines or making arrests as needed, to intimidate the locals and prevent further street abductions of men.
By making an example of one to warn others, this would deter families considering similar actions, making them wait for the official selection instead.
But Wang Daxia had been compromised; he couldn’t send the signal. His whole body felt as if floating on clouds as several servants helped him to a hastily prepared bridal chamber for a bath and change of clothes. They dressed him in wedding attire, with a large red flower pinned to his chest.
“Hehe.” Wang Daxia grinned foolishly at the groom in the mirror. “I’ve finally married Wei Caiwei! Today is our wedding day!”
“Where’s my wife?” Wang Daxia asked.
A servant covered his mouth and chuckled. “Waiting for you in the bridal chamber, sir. Please follow me.”
Wang Daxia was led to the chamber, where the servant pointed to a woman sitting on the bed, wearing a phoenix crown and holding a round fan to cover her face. “This is the bride.”
“My dear.” Wang Daxia pushed the servant aside and walked toward the bridal chamber. “Sorry I’m late. People kept stopping me to drink outside. You’ve been waiting a while, haven’t you?”
Seeing the groom so cooperative, the servant grinned and closed the door.
The bride moved the fan away from her face. In his dazed state, the bride before him looked exactly like Wei Caiwei from his countless spring dreams.
“Are you my husband?” the bride asked, looking him up and down before nodding in satisfaction. “Not bad-looking.”
Wang Daxia chuckled. “I’m more than just good-looking. The parts you haven’t seen are even better. Want to see…?”
With that, he began to undress.
“Wait.” The bride stopped him and asked, “Do you like fireworks?”
Wang Daxia: “If you like them, I like them.”
The bride said, “I love watching fireworks. I’ve always thought that at my wedding, I’d set them off until midnight and enjoy them to the fullest. But given the circumstances, the wedding was too rushed, so we can’t set any off now.”
Wang Daxia replied, “Why not? If you like fireworks, I’ll set them off for you, as many as you want.”
The bride pointed at the light outside the window. “It’s not even dark yet. If we set them off now, we won’t see them properly—it’d be like winking at a blind man. No fun.”
Wang Daxia said, “Let’s close the curtains and set them off inside.”
“Great idea!” The bride swiftly used a bamboo pole to draw the curtains. The room was lit only by a pair of dragon-and-phoenix wedding candles. She brought out her hidden stash of fireworks. “These are called ‘ground mice.’ They don’t fly up; you light them and they spin around on the ground. This one’s a spray tube—you hold it and it shoots out sparks. Just remember not to aim it at people…”
The bride proudly displayed her private collection. Wang Daxia took an incense stick and lit ten ground mice all at once. Round, fiery balls skittered wildly across the floor, releasing dazzling sparks. Laughing, the bride lifted her skirts and climbed onto the table to avoid being splashed by the sparks.
Clapping her hands, the bride laughed heartily. “So beautiful! More, set off more—the more, the prettier!”
Seeing his wife so happy made Wang Daxia even happier. Caiwei’s laughter was the best reward he could ask for.
He stepped onto a small stool and lit every last ground mouse in the box!The floor was covered with scurrying, fire-spitting "ground mice" that darted about recklessly. At this moment, the floor resembled a starry night sky, with twinkling lights clustered together as if whispering secrets, flickering on and off like countless sparkling stars.
Meanwhile, outside the mansion, Lu Ying, dressed in commoner's attire, anxiously pulled out a Western pocket watch to check the time.
This was already the third time she had looked at it. "Something's wrong. Wang Daxia usually sends a signal within about five minutes. This time, three sets of five minutes have passed, and there's still no movement."
Wu Xiaoqi said, "Could it be that this family is more reserved, beating around the bush and not getting to the point yet?"
Lu Ying's intuition told her something was amiss. "We can't wait any longer. Let's charge in. Wang Daxia's safety is paramount—we can't let him actually sacrifice his dignity."
At Lu Ying's command, the Embroidered Uniform Guard spies filed in one after another. After they subdued the head of the household and learned that Wang Daxia had already been sent to the bridal chamber, Lu Ying grew frantic with worry and kicked the chamber door open.
A strong smell of gunpowder hit her face.
Lu Ying immediately shouted, "Retreat! It's a trap!"
However, there was no ambush. After retreating, Lu Ying looked through the main door and saw the newlyweds in their wedding attire holding flower tubes and setting off fireworks. On the floor of the bridal chamber, fire-spitting "ground mice" whizzed and scurried about.
Wang Daxia, as if drunk, wildly sprayed fireworks from his flower tube. The sparks had ignited the bed curtains, which were already half-burned, yet he remained completely unaware. The bride, engrossed in playing with the fireworks, didn't even glance back.
"What are you all standing around for? Put out the fire!" Lu Ying yelled.
Lu Ying was the first to rush in and pull the disoriented, hallucinating Wang Daxia out. The head of the household carried his precious daughter out, scolding, "I sent you to the bridal chamber to play with fireworks? You nearly caused a disaster!"
You should be playing with the groom in the bridal chamber! Your father picked such a handsome groom for you—cook the raw rice, and once you're no longer a virgin, you won't have to participate in the Imperial Concubine Selection.
Instead of being frightened, the bride giggled, "The groom isn't as fun as fireworks. I only like playing with fireworks."
At these words, everyone in the courtyard fell silent, except for Wang Daxia, who was being carried away for treatment.
This girl... was truly unique.
The head of the household lamented to Lu Ying, "Sir, I didn't intentionally deceive the court. It's just that I've spoiled this daughter of mine since childhood, turning her into this simple-minded, tactless girl. She lost her mother at a young age, and I was afraid she would be mistreated by a stepmother, so I never remarried. I didn't know how to raise a daughter or teach her to become a proper lady. I thought I'd wait until she turned eighteen to find her an honest, obedient live-in son-in-law, so she wouldn't have to marry into another family and endure a mother-in-law's temper, living a life of subservience in someone else's house."
"With my daughter's temperament, she doesn't know how to serve others and is utterly unfit for the palace. She understands nothing, like a blank sheet of paper, and dares to say anything. If she were to enter the palace, wouldn't she offend all the nobles? She'd probably be eliminated in the initial screening."
Lu Ying also felt that the head of the household made a valid point. Everyone in the palace had clever, intricate minds, with as many schemes as a honeycomb. This girl was decent-looking, but in a palace filled with beauties, she was merely above average—hardly a stunning beauty that would turn heads.Lu Ying said, "Our only responsibility is to ensure that the eligible young women are sent for the selection process. Who gets chosen or rejected is beyond our control. From the initial screening to being designated as Baoding Prefecture's candidates entering the palace for the next round, they must pass several stages. Why are you so anxious? She might very well be sent back tomorrow."
Lu Ying believed this girl had no chance whatsoever.
That same day, the girl was sent to the Baoding Prefecture government office. As she departed, her elderly father tearfully packed her belongings.
The girl had an easygoing nature and smiled to comfort her father, "I'm just going through the motions, Father. I'll be back soon. Make sure to pack the remaining fireworks properly—I'll play with them when I return."
Her father wept, "If you get eliminated and sent home, I'll buy you a whole cartload of fireworks to celebrate."
"Deal!" The girl extended her pinky finger, "Come on, let's pinky swear—no backing out!"
Their little fingers hooked together as they chanted, "Pinky swear, a hundred years no changes!"
At the Baoding Prefecture government office, the first group of candidates had already gathered and were undergoing initial screening. Palace female physicians dispatched by the imperial court were conducting the evaluations, eliminating girls with disproportionate figures or those who appeared to have hidden ailments.
Wei Caiwei happened to be assigned to Baoding Prefecture.
However, she first needed to treat a familiar person—none other than the disoriented Wang Daxia.
She determined that Wang Daxia had been drugged with something like datura that caused hallucinations. After preparing medicine and treating him, he finally woke up the next morning.
"You're awake," Wei Caiwei said. "Get up and walk a few steps to see if you feel any discomfort."
But Wang Daxia, still under the illusion that he was in his spring dream of marrying Wei Caiwei, pulled her onto the bed and leaned in to kiss her. "My dear wife, the night is short and precious. We've been setting off fireworks for half the night—shouldn't we rest now?"
Author's Note: Wang Daxia: This spring dream is so long.
Caiwei: It seems you don't realize castration is coming for you!
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