There are many ways to enjoy the benefits of a cushy life, but Wang Daxia was different from the average man who relies on women.
He had no "chopsticks."
In his pursuit of a shortcut to power, he entered the palace as a eunuch, paying the price of severing the chopsticks he was born with—his only shortcoming.
Both literally and metaphorically.
He was a eunuch, a genuine one—so genuine that if he were fake, he would be dragged out and beheaded for defiling the palace.
But does the lack of chopsticks mean one cannot enjoy a cushy life?
Of course not.
Humankind rose above the animal kingdom to become the masters of the world, and the refinement of hand movements, along with the ability to create and use tools, were key factors in humanity's evolution from primitive to civilized.
Only the human thumb can perform the delicate action of opposition—touching the other four fingers on the palm—allowing humans to grasp with ease.
Fingers evolved from short to long, becoming increasingly agile to facilitate tool-making. Even with shortcomings, humans create tools to compensate, turning weaknesses into strengths.
Wang Daxia was a man of ingenuity and dexterity. Who said enjoying a cushy life must rely on chopsticks?
One could use hands or create substitute tools, crafting various chopsticks by hand to enjoy the benefits. Wang Daxia, having lost one set of chopsticks, created an entire bundle.
In their previous life, on the morning of the first day of the twelfth lunar month in the forty-third year of Jiajing's reign, Wei Caiwei, the chief maid of Yongshou Palace, was late for duty and did not enter the palace on time. This showed that Wang Daxia was a master at enjoying the cushy life, his skills perfected to the highest degree.
Reborn into this life, Wei Caiwei resided in the Wang residence. After drinking the prescription she had prepared for herself, she fell into a deep slumber, filled with vivid dreams that replayed the days she had spent with Wang Daxia in their previous life.
In her sleep, Wei Caiwei smiled.
Society generally looked down upon and was morbidly curious about eunuch and maid pairings in the palace, viewing them with peculiar eyes. Even Wei Caiwei initially felt awkward when she and Wang Daxia became a pairing, not taking the marriage seriously and seeing it merely as a tool for revenge.
But once she immersed herself body and soul, Wei Caiwei realized that as long as both parties entrusted themselves to each other, respecting and loving one another, a eunuch and maid pairing was no different from a worldly marriage.
Without that set of chopsticks, Wang Daxia still enjoyed the cushy life with relish, and she was happy to leverage her influence to pave his way to success, offering him the benefits of a cushy life.
As dynasties changed, Wang Daxia became the Chief of the Eastern Depot, while his patron, Consort Shangshou, became the Grand Consort. Wei Caiwei gradually withdrew from the palace, and the dynamics of their eunuch and maid pairing shifted from the woman being stronger to a different balance.
Yet, Wang Daxia did not become arrogant and turn against her like some men who rely on women, starting to retaliate against the women who had provided them with a cushy life.
Wang Daxia, accustomed to the cushy life, had no appetite for "tough dishes." Before her, he remained the same man who relied on her, consistently treating her well, even risking his life to save her. Until his death, he promised to be her husband in the next life and give her a child to make up for the only regret in this life.
In their previous life, Wang Daxia enjoyed the cushy life with full awareness of his role, striving to hide his flaws and showcase his virtues in front of Wei Caiwei.
Did Wang Daxia only castrate one set of chopsticks?
When he wielded the knife to castrate himself, he also severed the carefree, unruly, cynical, and naively chivalrous youth who had recklessly spent his wealth to save the world—a wild grass growing untamed.Wei Caiwei had mostly seen his admirable qualities—diligence, wit, consideration, courage, and loyalty—though his dreadful taste for gaudy, flashy colors remained as persistent as ever.
After her rebirth, Wei Caiwei discovered another side of Wang Daxia, one she struggled to accept immediately. Yet she couldn’t forget the profound affection from her past life. Even though the pre-self-castration Wang Daxia seemed a completely different person from the one in her memories, and even if he irritated her three times a day, she resolved to stay in the capital and prevent his self-mutilation, refusing to abandon him.
Just as Wei Caiwei was dreaming of tender moments with her husband from her previous life, Wang Daxia was staying up late, recounting to Lu Ying—who had rushed over upon hearing the news—the details of how they had worked together to subdue Zhou Xiaoqi.
Of course, true to his exaggerated nature, Wang Daxia embellished his own role: “…Just as the scalding wax was about to drip into Doctor Wei’s eyes, I rushed over and shielded them with my hand. Sizzle—my hand burned with excruciating pain, blistering instantly! But I endured the agony and punched the assailant square in the face, knocking him to the ground.”
Lu Ying asked, “Which hand was burned by the wax? Let me see.” It was just wax, not molten iron!
Wang Daxia quickly retracted his hand, hiding it under the table. “I applied Doctor Wei’s burn ointment. It’s fine now.”
Lu Ying said, “Can you be serious for once? Doctor Wei has taken her medicine and is asleep, so you’re the only one I can ask. If you keep spouting nonsense, how am I supposed to report to Lord Lu at dawn? Should I commend you for your merits?”
Hearing the word “merit,” Wang Daxia eagerly inquired, “How much is the reward? Is it a hundred taels of silver?”
Lu Ying replied, “The Embroidered Uniform Guard does offer bounties, but until the case is solved, no reward will be paid. However, since you’ve assisted the Guard as an external recruit, and helped capture the criminal this time, I can add your name to the Embroidered Uniform Guard’s roster. From then on, you’ll receive a regular salary and military pay. When on missions, your food and lodging will be fully reimbursed—no need to pay out of pocket. You’ll get ice subsidies in summer, charcoal subsidies in winter, and holiday bonuses to take home.”
From an external recruit to an official member.
“That’s it?” Wang Daxia was deeply disappointed.
Lu Bing had just taught Lu Ying the art of managing people, emphasizing that the Embroidered Uniform Guard needed talents like Wang Daxia. Suppressing the urge to say, “Take it or leave it,” Lu Ying patiently explained the benefits of being an official member:
“If you’re injured and disabled, you’ll continue receiving your salary—the Embroidered Uniform Guard will support you for life. If you unfortunately die in service, the Guard will reserve a position for your descendants. As long as they pass the archery and horsemanship tests, they can inherit your post.”
Wang Daxia’s jaw dropped, astonished at Lu Ying’s lack of tact: If you want to recruit me into the Embroidered Uniform Guard, you should at least paint an appealing picture—make it sound grand and enticing!
Starting off with disability and death is such a turn-off. Even if there were a mountain of gold ahead, I’d still hesitate.
Commander Lu is lucky he was born as Lord Lu’s illegitimate son. With such a blunt personality, how else would he survive in official circles?
Seeing that Wang Daxia still hadn’t responded, Lu Ying racked his brains for more advantages of joining the Embroidered Uniform Guard. “Working with me on cases will give you more opportunities than the average guard to appear before the emperor. If you catch His Majesty’s eye, you could rise rapidly—your future would be limitless.”
Now that’s more like it.
It seemed Lu Ying, though straightforward, wasn’t foolish. He was learning to be flexible, not rigidly sticking to principles, and starting to master the art of painting grand promises for Wang Daxia.However, none of this could capture Wang Daxia's interest.
Wang Daxia rubbed his tired eyes and said, "Can this be exchanged for silver? I only want silver, not a job."
In all her life, Lu Ying had never heard anyone refuse an invitation to join the Embroidered Uniform Guard. "You don’t want to join the Embroidered Uniform Guard?"
Lu Ying wondered if she had misheard.
Mm-hmm, Wang Daxia nodded, yawning. "Yes, in the past, now, and in the future, I have no intention of serving in the Embroidered Uniform Guard. The only reason I’m temporarily working for them now is because I’m forced to—my private savings are still in Lord Lu’s hands. I’m only in it for the money."
Lu Ying asked, "Why? Is the Embroidered Uniform Guard not as good as the Northern City Military Command?"
Wang Daxia replied frankly, "I have food, drink, and money to spend. I live in a five-courtyard mansion by Shichahai that has been passed down for five generations. Even a typical fifth-rank capital official doesn’t live as comfortably as I do. Why would I go looking for trouble?"
Lu Ying pressed, "Do you plan to drift through life like this forever?"
Wang Daxia nodded emphatically. "Exactly. I have a ready-made Thousand-Household Title to inherit. I can become a Thousand-Household Commander just by lying around—a fourth-rank military official. Why would I willingly suffer, risking disability or even death, to serve in the Embroidered Uniform Guard? I’m not stupid."
"You—" Lu Ying was left speechless. Wang Daxia was truly incorrigibly lazy.
Meanwhile, Officer Mu, who had been quietly observing, saw this as a golden opportunity and interjected, "Whether you join or not, you should first thank Commander Lu for her appreciation."
Officer Mu’s words had an effect. Wang Daxia gave a perfunctory cupped-hand salute and said, "Thank you for your kindness, but I’m afraid I’m not cut out for it."
Officer Mu suggested, "I have an idea—why not give it a try? Your father’s title will undoubtedly be yours someday; it’s not going anywhere. But what’s the point of having an empty title with no real authority, no soldiers, and no troops under your command?"
"After your father inherited the title, he worked diligently at the Northern City Military Command for over thirty years, patrolling the streets through wind and rain, before finally becoming its commander. That’s already quite an achievement."
Seeing Officer Mu speak up for her, Lu Ying added, "An empty title without real power is like a rootless duckweed. No matter how substantial the family fortune, it will inevitably decline. If you get entangled in legal troubles, the title could be stripped away in an instant. With no power or position, who would speak up for you? There are Thousand-Household Commanders—even earls and marquises—begging on the streets. Do you want to end up like them?"
Officer Mu nodded vigorously. "That’s right, Second Young Master. Serving in the Embroidered Uniform Guard comes with high pay and excellent benefits. You report at dawn and return home in the evening, unlike your father, who still has to patrol the streets late into the night at his age. Besides, with Commander Lu and Lord Lu backing you, when the time comes to inherit your title and take the merit examination, you’ll pass on the first try. Who would dare to obstruct you or demand bribes?"
The topic of inheriting the title struck a nerve with Wang Daxia.
He knew full well that, given his abilities, aside from inheriting the title, he had no other prospects. If he lost even this secure position, he would achieve nothing in life and might end up holding a broken bowl, begging by the roadside.
Wang Daxia was somewhat tempted. Still, he frowned and said, "From what you’ve said, the job doesn’t sound bad. It’s just too far from home. I’d have to cross the entire city from north to south. Reporting at 7 a.m. every day means waking up early, and I’m used to sleeping in. I just can’t get up that early."Wang Daxia's ideal job was one with "two mores, one less, and one near": more money, more benefits, less work, and close to home.
Lu Ying was speechless. Every day, Wang Daxia managed to astound him, showcasing what it meant to be the ultimate spoiled brat.
Officer Mu was practically worrying himself sick over Wang Daxia's future. "The Imperial Guard Office is indeed far from home, but that's no problem. I'll persuade the Thousand-Household Commander to rent a place nearby at his expense. You won't have to lift a finger. That way, you won't have to endure the daily commute and can sleep in a bit longer."
Only then did Wang Daxia nod. "Alright, I'll listen to Uncle Mu. But let me be clear upfront—the rent and daily expenses have to be covered by my father. My meager salary can't even support myself."
Officer Mu coaxed him like a child, "Naturally. We'll rent a spacious place, nothing too shabby, so your colleagues won't look down on you."
Having never lived alone before, Wang Daxia was suddenly filled with anticipation for his future life.
I'm free! No one will boss me around anymore!
Lu Ying hadn't expected that neither official rank nor career prospects would sway Wang Daxia, yet Officer Mu managed to win him over with trivial favors!
It really was... entirely consistent with Wang Daxia's usual behavior. The art of managing people varies by individual; using their weaknesses to control them ensures they follow your lead.
Lu Ying tapped the table, shattering Wang Daxia's daydreams. "Let's continue. It's almost dawn, and we haven't finished taking your statement."
By the time Wang Daxia had recounted every detail, reviewed his statement, and signed it, the sky was beginning to lighten. The curfew had lifted, and breakfast stalls were setting up one by one along the streets, with some vendors pushing carts and hawking their goods. Wang Daxia, feeling hungry again, ordered a bowl of tofu pudding. "...No cilantro!"
Lu Ying stood up and said, "I'll go check if Doctor Wei is awake."
Wang Daxia, exclaiming about how hot it was, noisily slurped down the tofu pudding, wiped his mouth, and hurried after him. "I'll go with Commander Lu."
Lu Ying asked, "Didn't you say you were going to catch up on sleep?"
"First, that's my house—I can go whenever I want. Second—" Wang Daxia shot a glance at Lu Ying, "a man and a woman alone in a room, with Doctor Wei asleep... what if you—? I don't feel at ease."
Lu Ying was incredulous. "It's more worrying for Doctor Wei to be alone with you."
Wang Daxia retorted, "How could that be! That's my house. Even a rabbit doesn't eat the grass by its own burrow. Don't talk nonsense."
Sigh, taming this young master Wang was going to be anything but easy.
Next door, at the Wang residence.
Wei Caiwei was still unconscious. Medicine had been applied to the two wounds on her neck, which had stopped bleeding, but her face was as pale as paper. Rope marks from being tightly bound by Zhou Xiaoqi circled her wrists, leaving dark purple-red bruises.
Seeing the young widow in such a state, Lu Ying's guilt overpowered his suspicion. He had always considered her the prime suspect, but now she had become a victim. If Wang Daxia had been slower to grasp her warning with the "cooling plums," what horrors might have befallen her?
Lu Ying stepped out of the room and sighed, "I shouldn't have suspected her without any evidence, just because she's seventeen, arrived in the capital seven days ago, and is the same age as Miss He Er. It led Zhou Xiaoqi to target her and caused her this suffering."
Wang Daxia said, "Apologies are useless; compensation is what matters. Pay her for medical expenses, lost wages, emotional distress from the shock, and house repairs—settle it along with last night's damages list."Lu Ying asked him, "Besides money, can you talk about anything else?"
Wang Daxia grinned, "I'll talk if you pay me."
Lu Ying thought: This guy must be the reincarnation of a money-grubber.
Meanwhile, in the Northern City, Jiangmi Alley, at the Imperial Guard Office.
Commander Lu Bing arrived at the office in a luxurious carriage drawn by five horses before the morning roll call. One advantage of serving during the Jiajing era was not having to attend predawn court sessions, allowing officials to sleep longer. However, after being awakened last night by a messenger from the Northern City Military Command, Lu Bing had been unable to fall back asleep.
As a seasoned official who had weathered countless storms, Lu Bing had seen it all. The murder case of Thousand Household Chen and his son was merely a trivial matter that didn't require his personal attention. Yet, the name "Clerk Ding Wu" on Wei Caiwei's Household Certificate inevitably reminded him of the catastrophic events that had struck the capital ten years ago.
He couldn't sleep. That catastrophe remained a lifelong hidden pain he would carry to his grave.
Ten years ago, during the Gengxu Incident, Mongol leader Anda Khan led his troops straight to the capital, pillaging the outer city of Beijing for half a month.
Lu Bing was defending the city walls when disaster-stricken refugees swarmed the city gates with their children in tow, begging for entry to escape the warfare.
Having secured his position as commander of the Embroidered Uniform Guard with bloodstained hands, Lu Bing could hardly be considered a virtuous man.
Lu Bing was the Jiajing Emperor's foster brother. The emperor had originally been a minor prince from Anlu, Hubei - a collateral branch of the imperial family with no claim to the throne.
But the main imperial lineage had withered. During the Chenghua era, Emperor Chenghua doted on Consort Wan so excessively that he even deposed his empress for her. Consort Wan ran rampant, repeatedly threatening the crown prince's life and leaving him with deep psychological scars.
When that crown prince ascended the throne as the Hongzhi Emperor, having learned from the lesson of how a favored consort could endanger the state, he remained devoted solely to Empress Zhang throughout his life, keeping no other consorts in his harem. Only Empress Zhang bore him a surviving son, who would become the future Zhengde Emperor.
The Zhengde Emperor was an eccentric who preferred married women, widows, and prostitutes over his proper empress. Consequently, he died without an heir. With no brothers either, the main imperial line was declared extinct.
Following the imperial succession principle of "the younger brother inheriting after the elder brother's death," the throne passed to the Hongzhi Emperor's brother - the Jiajing Emperor's father, Prince Xingxian. But Prince Xingxian died early, leaving the throne to the then fifteen-year-old Jiajing Emperor.
After ascending the throne, to posthumously enshrine his biological father as emperor and move his spirit tablet to the imperial ancestral temple - thereby replacing the former main lineage with his collateral branch - the Jiajing Emperor ignited the Great Rites Controversy at court. All ministers who opposed him were framed by the Embroidered Uniform Guard and either executed or exiled.
The Jiajing Emperor, originally a collateral prince, used the Great Rites Controversy to eliminate his opponents and consolidate his power. Lu Bing's role as his executioner was "indispensable" in this process, his hands stained with innocent blood.
Yet Lu Bing was no devil. He possessed both a ruthless, iron-fisted side and a compassionate, soft-hearted side. Hearing the heart-wrenching cries of refugees below the city walls, he entered the palace to petition the Jiajing Emperor, persuading him to open the city gates for the refugees while promising to deploy troops as rear guard to intercept any Mongol soldiers attempting to breach the defenses.
Only someone of Lu Bing's stature, enjoying the emperor's deep trust, could have achieved this. Anyone else would have been flatly refused by the Jiajing Emperor.
With the emperor's verbal decree, Lu Bing opened the city gates to admit the refugees. He then formed a suicide squad within the Embroidered Uniform Guard to move against the flow of people, protecting the refugees' retreat while engaging the Mongol army.
All refugees made it into the city. The entire suicide squad perished in battle.
Lu Bing preserved the roster of the suicide squad and provided double the standard compensation to each fallen soldier's family.Lord He was among those on the list. Originally, he should have been executed along with his entire family for dereliction of duty—failing to promptly report Anda Khan’s southern invasion to Lu Bing. However, since Lord He had voluntarily joined a suicide squad and died in battle, Lu Bing pleaded on his behalf, commuting the sentence for his two daughters from execution to confiscation as government slaves.
When the children of Lord He and Thousand Household Chen were betrothed, Lu Bing, as their superior, had attended the celebration banquet. Thousand Household Chen purchased the He sisters, vowing to care for them for life. Lu Bing trusted his word and did not intervene further.
Lu Bing thought it was easy—just two more mouths to feed. But with his busy schedule, he soon put the matter aside and never inquired again.
Lu Bing was preoccupied. He was busy finding a scapegoat for the emperor and had no time to concern himself with trivial matters like the well-being of the He sisters.
The Gengxu Incident was a profound humiliation. As emperor, the Jiajing Emperor, who had neglected court affairs for over two decades while indulging in alchemy and immortality pursuits, bore the primary responsibility.
But the emperor was the sovereign—he could not be at fault. Even if there were mistakes, they were the ministers’ failures—for not detecting the enemy’s movements in time and for failing to admonish the emperor.
Thus, Lu Bing, as the emperor’s foster brother and most trusted official, had to find someone to shoulder the blame and appease public outrage.
But who?
Logically, Yan Song, the head of the Grand Secretariat and highest-ranking official, should bear the greatest responsibility. As the de facto prime minister, when foreign invaders reached the capital’s gates, who else should be held accountable?
However, Yan Song enjoyed the Jiajing Emperor’s deep favor and was also Lu Bing’s in-law: Yan Song remained devoted to his wife and had only one son, Yan Shifan. Yan Shifan’s son, Yan Shaoting, had married Lu Bing’s second daughter.
Yan Shifan appealed to Lu Bing, “We are family—your son-in-law is my son, and we share a grandson. You cannot pin this blame on my father.”
“Find another scapegoat. I suggest Ding Rukui, the Minister of War. He is the highest-ranking military official. It was his troops who failed to stop Anda Khan, and it was he who ordered the capital’s forces not to resist, to close the gates and adopt a defensive stance.”
This was true. However, Ding Rukui’s superior was Yan Song, who had instructed him not to engage, claiming, “Anda Khan will withdraw once he has plundered enough.”
Without Yan Song’s directive, Ding Rukui would not have dared to adopt such a passive strategy, which led to the outer city being reduced to ashes.
Though fully aware of this, Lu Bing accepted Yan Shifan’s suggestion and presented Ding Rukui to the Jiajing Emperor as the scapegoat. The emperor approved, sentencing Ding Rukui to execution. Ding Rukui’s wife was exiled three thousand li to the south, where she fell ill and died en route, while his son, Ding Wu, was banished to the northern Tieling Garrison.
Tormented by guilt, Lu Bing repeatedly delayed Ding Rukui’s execution, postponing it for a full decade. To this day, Ding Rukui remained alive and well in the imperial prison.
The previous night, Lu Bing’s subordinates had placed a decade’s worth of surveillance reports on Ding Rukui’s son, Ding Wu, on his desk.
Lu Bing skimmed through them hastily, then rose and headed to the Embroidered Uniform Guard Prison.
The imperial prison was a place that struck fear into the hearts of court officials, notorious alongside the Eastern Depot’s prison. Ding Rukui was held alone in a death row cell.Ding Rukui's cell was clean and tidy, its walls freshly whitewashed this year. A small window in the southeast corner served as the sole source of light.
The light cast an elliptical patch of brightness on the floor. Ding Rukui, already risen, stood within this oval of light practicing the Five Animal Frolics, basking in the sunlight as he exercised.
The underground cell was damp, the air stale. Lu Bing started coughing the moment he descended. Ding Rukui offered him a chair and poured tea, saying, "Thank you for the Longjing tea. As a condemned prisoner, I never expected to drink such fine tea."
Lu Bing sipped the tea to suppress his cough, studying Ding Rukui's glistening forehead and ruddy complexion. "Minister Ding seems to be in good health," he remarked.
Noting Lu Bing's sallow complexion and drooping eyelids, Ding Rukui replied, "Lord Lu must take care of yourself despite your busy schedule. Thanks to your protection, this condemned prisoner has inexplicably survived ten years."
Pretending not to catch the sarcasm, Lu Bing set down his teacup with a laugh. "Looking at our current physical states, I'm the one who's truly imprisoned in darkness."
Author's Note: Skilled Wang Daxia... suddenly I can't look at Chopstick Brothers the same way again...
This novel will be featured on the recommendation list tomorrow. To avoid affecting rankings, tomorrow's update won't be in the morning but at exactly 11 PM - still a hefty 6,000-word chapter! Thank you for your support.
Starting the day after tomorrow, we'll resume updates at 6:18 AM with double daily chapters, both at 6:18 AM and PM. Thanks for your support, mua~
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