As soon as Wei Caiwei finished speaking, both Ding Wu and Wang Daxia felt a chill in their crotches: Banxia was truly formidable! And above all, they must never offend her.
Wei Caiwei always brought "surprises." Lu Ying asked, "What is this medicine called?"
Wei Caiwei replied, "I've named it Ecstasy Powder—ecstasy followed by dissipation."
The name, like its effects, was... brutally straightforward.
Wang Daxia said, "Next time, give me a potent dose to finish him off. This scoundrel has oppressed men and women, committing countless heinous deeds."
Wei Caiwei shook her head, "No. Firstly, you'd be suspected. Secondly, with him controlling the White Lotus Sect, the people of Xinghua City can at least temporarily buy safety with wealth. If he dies before the city falls, these Japanese Pirates would have no restraint and would likely slaughter and plunder the entire city."
Ming Wang intended to nurture a golden goose that laid golden eggs, but many of his subordinates, especially the genuine Japanese Pirates, only wanted to make a fortune and return home or flee.
Hearing this, Wang Daxia refrained from acting rashly.
Meanwhile, Luo Longwen, trapped in the bandits' den and burdened with a massive amount of gold, feared being targeted by the White Lotus Sect and Japanese Pirates. Worried about failing to report to his patron Yan Shifan, he sent a Pigeon Post to the anti-pirate general Hu Zongxian, seeking rescue.
Hu Zongxian was also part of the Yan faction. A renowned general of his generation, he had no choice but to align with the Yan father and son. The Yan family had dominated court politics for over thirty years, and without currying favor with them, he couldn't lead the prolonged anti-pirate campaigns along the southeast coast. Now that the two major pirates, Xu Hai and Wang Zhi, had been eliminated, no significant Japanese Pirates remained, and the eradication efforts were winding down. Not greedy for power, Hu Zongxian had nurtured Qi Jiguang, a rising star in the anti-pirate cause.
Upon receiving the message from his old friend Luo Longwen—who, of course, didn't explicitly mention the five thousand taels of gold, only stating he was in the south on business for Vice Minister Yan—Hu Zongxian quickly mobilized troops. His priority was to recapture Xinghua City and rescue his friend.
Anti-pirate general Liu Xian was the first to receive the order. The fall of Xinghua City was primarily his responsibility, as it had been captured when eight of his men, sent to reinforce the city, were killed by Japanese Pirates who stole their uniforms and military orders to deceive the city guards into opening the gates.
Upon hearing that Liu Xian was leading troops to attack, Ming Wang Iron Bull personally took command and marched out to battle.
Iron Bull woke up early one morning and stood over the chamber pot for a long time. Though his bladder felt full and he sensed the urge to urinate, he couldn't produce a steady stream. Instead, it dribbled out drop by drop, as if milking a cow, with the passage seemingly blocked and the flow obstructed.
Frustrated, Iron Bull pulled up his pants and kicked the chamber pot over.
It had been about ten days since his last passionate encounter with the married Madam Ximen. Iron Bull felt physically depleted. After excessive indulgence, there were always a few days of discomfort. He lay down to rest, but afterward, he still felt somewhat weak.
He summoned a physician, who felt his pulse and said his kidneys were weak, requiring careful tonification and strict abstinence from desires, especially avoiding women. After taking a series of warming and restorative medicines, Iron Bull felt energized enough to manage the affairs of Xinghua City normally. However, whereas before he would often wake up with "Little Iron Bull" standing proud, from that time on, Little Iron Bull never rose again and could no longer stand up.
After recovering from his illness, Iron Bull couldn't forget Madam Ximen's allure. He almost sent gifts to Wang Daxia, but in his current state—able to look but not touch—it was better not to see her at all, lest he lose face in front of a woman.Iron Bull had sought out several folk remedies, eating grilled lamb kidneys, stir-fried leeks, and steamed oysters three times a day, hoping to restore his virility as soon as possible.
But after more than ten days of this regimen, it proved utterly ineffective. Instead, he developed symptoms of frequent urination, incomplete voiding, and abdominal bloating and pain.
Iron Bull felt the onset of a midlife crisis, but just then, Liu Xian launched an attack against him. Forced to endure his physical discomfort, he resolved to deal with the battle first.
In a fit of irritation, Iron Bull kicked over the chamber pot. Donning his armor, he stepped outside and was immediately struck by a strong scent of Western perfume. Following the fragrance, he saw Wang Daxia running toward him, dressed in a bright red jacket and skirt, cherry blossoms adorning her hair, and clutching the talisman he had given her.
As she ran, her prominent chest bounced with each step. Iron Bull couldn't help but lick his lips, but damn it—Little Iron Bull remained completely unresponsive!
Wang Daxia lightly flicked her handkerchief at Iron Bull. "You heartless devil! Why haven't you come to see me since that day? Have you found someone new? I had to swallow my pride as a woman and seek out Ming Wang myself."
It's not that! It's not that I don't want to—I simply can't. Iron Bull grabbed Wang Daxia's hand. "Wait for me to return from the campaign."
Wang Daxia's seductive eyes were utterly captivating. "Take me with you. I know some martial arts and can handle firearms. I won't be a burden—I just want to be with you." (All she really wanted was to gather some intelligence and pass it on to Liu Xian's forces.)
Iron Bull refused. "My troops are elite and well-supplied, with more firearms than Liu Xian. I don't need a woman's help. Stay here, don't cause trouble, and wait obediently for my return."
Iron Bull left, leaving Wang Daxia to brood alone.
Upon returning, Wang Daxia closed the door and immediately ripped out the two cotton pads stuffed in her chest. "I'm boiling! It didn't work this time. Iron Bull is dead set against letting me accompany him. The honey trap failed."
Wei Caiwei crouched in the courtyard, sifting through the medicinal dregs she had secretly brought back from the county magistrate's office—these were the recent concoctions Iron Bull had consumed, all aphrodisiacs.
It seems my medicine is working. Wei Caiwei looked quite pleased. "Don't rush. Iron Bull's body is already depleted—too weak to handle such tonics. Recently, he's been consuming all these potent supplements in a hurry to restore his virility, but in reality, the more he supplements, the more depleted he becomes. I suspect he's having trouble urinating now. His body will soon collapse. This ailment will torment him slowly but won't kill him outright. The pain in his lower body is worse than gout—he probably can't even ride a horse comfortably. It will affect his strategic judgment."
Hearing this, Wang Daxia instinctively covered his own crotch. "Indeed, lust is a fatal weakness. 'A maiden of sixteen, with a body soft as silk, wields a sword at her waist to slay the foolish man. Though no head is seen to fall, in secret, she drains his marrow dry.' We'll slowly wear him down."
Unfortunately, fate had other plans. Ming Wang set out on his campaign, ambushing the enemy en route. Not only did he not fail, but he achieved a great victory, killing the regional commander, seizing Pinghai Fort, and expanding his territory. More Japanese Pirates flocked to Xinghua City to join Ming Wang Iron Bull.
Ming Wang returned to Xinghua City by boat, not daring to ride a horse—Little Iron Bull couldn't withstand the jolting of the saddle, and the pain grew worse each day.
Yet, he still had to attend the victory banquet. He couldn't pass up the chance to boost morale and bask in the glory.
Ming Wang raised his cup and drank deeply. Under the influence of alcohol, he temporarily forgot his pain and collapsed into sleep. The next morning, he was awakened by the urge to urinate. A chamber pot sat beneath the bed. Still groggy from the hangover, Ming Wang sat on the edge of the bed, closed his eyes, and guided Little Iron Bull with his hand, relieving himself right there.This time, not only was the urination slow, but it was excruciatingly painful! Every drop squeezed out felt like a small knife scraping through, the pain driving away his hangover. Frustrated, Ming Wang lifted the chamber pot and slammed it to the ground!
With a crash, the porcelain chamber pot shattered. Ming Wang noticed the smell was off and looked down—he was urinating blood!
Terrified, Ming Wang immediately ordered all the skilled physicians in Xinghua City to be summoned to examine him.
A dozen physicians trembled as they gathered around Ming Wang's "little iron bull," which had swollen into a plump sausage freshly stuffed and not yet dried, with even the two "eggs" swollen to the size of large goose eggs.
The physicians unanimously diagnosed it as a case of depleted yang energy, exhausted kidney qi, and extreme physical weakness—simply put, his body had been drained.
"I—" Ming Wang struggled to speak, "I haven't touched a woman in almost a month."
The physicians asked, "And before that? Did you drink alcohol?"
Ming Wang fell silent. Living a life on the edge, his soul had grown numb, and only the comfort of women could soothe him. Whenever there was no battle, he indulged in nightly revelry, often with multiple women in a single night. As for drinking, the damp environment on the water led him to frequently treat alcohol like water.
Ming Wang said, "I drank two jars at last night's victory banquet."
The physicians all advised him to avoid alcohol entirely, abstain from rich foods and seafood, and only consume plain porridge until the swelling subsided before eating anything else. As for women, he shouldn't even think about it!
The physicians were skilled: they performed bloodletting, applied acupuncture, and prescribed medicine. By evening, the swelling had reduced somewhat, but urination remained painful, though holding it in was even more unbearable.
Finally finishing, Ming Wang was in so much pain that his clothes were soaked through. Weak and frail, he needed support to walk.
Ming Wang's illness was a secret, kept hidden from his Japanese Pirates subordinates, but it couldn't escape Ding Wu's sharp eyes. He noticed the physicians coming and going and secretly took the medicinal dregs to show Wei Caiwei, to determine how advanced Ming Wang's condition was.
Wei Caiwei picked through the dregs with chopsticks, her brow furrowed. "Strange, his condition has deteriorated too quickly. Judging by the potent heat-clearing and detoxifying herbs the physicians prescribed, he should already be urinating blood by now."
Wang Daxia slapped his head in frustration. "It's my fault. I shouldn't have used my shoe to serve him wine. That big shoe of mine held half a jar, and it leaked. I even refilled it midway. He drank too much and is deeply poisoned."
Everyone glanced down at Wang Daxia's large feet—they were indeed sizable.
Lu Ying asked, "In your opinion, how many days does Ming Wang have left?"
Wei Caiwei shook her head. "It's hard to say. Some tough-minded people might cut off the root of the trouble and possibly survive. Those who can't bear to part with it might last as little as five days or drag on for a month or two."
Ding Wu pointed at the medicinal dregs. "Can't medicine save him?"
Wei Caiwei replied, "I know the poison I concocted, and Wang Daxia fed him far too much. On top of that, Ming Wang has been indulging in rich foods and tonics, accelerating the poison's corrosion throughout his body. There's no saving him."
Lu Ying said, "Ming Wang must not die before the city falls. The anti-pirate army doesn't know about his critical condition. We need to relay this intelligence to the Qi Family Army."
Ding Wu said, "I have a plan..."The next day, Ding Wu recommended Wei Caiwei, the wandering physician, to Ming Wang. "...It was Dr. He who treated my chronic lumbar strain. An antique dealer traveling with us suffers from gout, and Dr. He treated him as well. Although gout cannot be cured, the antique dealer rarely experiences flare-ups even during this rainy season."
This morning, Ming Wang had once again endured excruciating pain while using the toilet, feeling as though he were being pierced by ten thousand arrows. In his desperation, he grasped at any hope and didn't care that she was just a wandering physician, allowing Wei Caiwei to examine him.
After taking his pulse and completing her examination, Wei Caiwei assumed a thoughtful expression. "The medicines prescribed by other physicians are all appropriate and beyond reproach. This humble student dare not add unnecessary measures. However, I once came across an ancient remedy stating that the Tianshan snow lotus, which grows in ice crevices, has miraculous effects on critical conditions like yang depletion. But this medicine is exceedingly rare. A prosperous place like Yangzhou, where nothing is beyond reach, might have it, while it would be hard to find in a small town like Xinghua."
Upon hearing this, Ming Wang clung to this lifeline. "I'll send someone to escort you out of the city. Go quickly and search for it."
Wei Caiwei replied, "Outside, there are imperial troops everywhere capturing Japanese pirates. If I go out, I'm afraid I won't make it back. It would be better to have Boss Ximen and her bodyguard accompany me. We are all registered civilians. Once we obtain the Tianshan snow lotus, we'll return promptly. However, if Boss Ximen leaves, Madam Ximen will be alone at home, and Boss Ximen might be worried."
Ming Wang immediately summoned Lu Ying and said, "Hall Master Ximen is accompanying Dr. He to seek miraculous medicine for me. Go with peace of mind—your wife is my responsibility. Send her over, and I will take good care of her."
Thus, Lu Ying and Wei Caiwei left the city to relay information to the Qi Family Army. Ding Wu and Wang Daxia remained in the enemy camp, ready to behead Ming Wang from within once the Qi Family Army launched their attack, coordinating internally and externally.
Author's Note: Cao Cao: Which scoundrel is stealing my lines? It's the end of the month, and as usual, I'm asking for comments and nutrient solutions. Although we're still over 50,000 votes short of qualifying... but, just in case, I still feel there's hope to salvage this.
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