The Shandong steamed bun was made with substantial ingredients. After just a few bites, Wang Daxia found it so dry that he couldn’t swallow without drinking water. As he ate and drank, the water expanded the bun in his stomach. After only ten mouthfuls, he already felt uncomfortably full.
Putting down the bun with a bite taken out of it, he pulled several receipts from his pocket. "These are for the clothes and shoes I bought from Commander Wu for the disguise, as well as the carriage fare for the return trip to the capital. Please sign them, Commander Lu, so I can submit them for reimbursement at the yamen tomorrow."
Lu Ying signed without even glancing at the prices. "You performed well today, convincingly playing the role of a woman from the pleasure quarters. It’s a waste of your talent to stay in the Embroidered Uniform Guard instead of becoming an actor."
Wang Daxia chuckled. "I think I looked quite charming too."
After signing, Lu Ying stretched out her hand. "Give it to me."
Wang Daxia neatly folded the signed receipts. "That’s all, just these few."
Lu Ying crooked her finger. "I meant the five hundred taels in silver notes—the five one-hundred-tael notes from the Three-Link Bank given to you by the abbot of White Deer Temple."
Wang Daxia shrank back. "This... this is silver I earned by sacrificing my dignity. Are you really going to confiscate it for public funds, Commander Lu? This is my hard-earned money."
Lu Ying replied, "This is tainted silver."
Extracting money from Wang Daxia was harder than squeezing it out of Yan Shifan. Unwilling to return the tainted funds, Wang Daxia argued vehemently:
"The Embroidered Uniform Guard posted a thousand-tael reward notice. I was the one who braved the wind and sand every day, selling eye veils and lying in wait. Do you know how much sand I swallowed? I was the first to spot the target—you can’t deny that, right? Although we worked together to set the trap, I’ll say it bluntly: I deserve the lion’s share of the credit, don’t I?"
"Of course, Commander Wu and the others contributed too. I’m not trying to hog all the glory. I’m not asking for much—just half of the reward, five hundred taels. The remaining five hundred can be distributed by you, Commander Lu. Is that unreasonable? Since I’m getting five hundred taels anyway, why go through the trouble of confiscating the tainted five hundred and then giving me the reward? It’s just moving money from one hand to the other—so cumbersome."
Wang Daxia had a three-year agreement with Wei Caiwei. He only had three years to save up for his future marriage! Thus, he valued money more than anyone else. Shedding his previous laziness and apathy, he had become diligent and proactive in his work. Once known for incompetence in everything except eating, he now excelled at every task—especially when it came to reimbursement claims.
Lu Ying said, "The Embroidered Uniform Guard’s rewards are distributed based on merit. It’s not impossible for you to receive five hundred taels. But one thing is one thing: tainted silver is tainted silver, and rewards are rewards. They can’t be mixed up, or the accounts won’t balance. Hand over the silver notes. I need to submit them to the tainted silver vault."
Only a meticulous superior like Lu Ying (mainly because Wang Daxia was no match for her in a fight) could keep a sly character like him in check.
Reluctantly, as if cutting off his own flesh, Wang Daxia pulled out the five warm silver notes from his chest.
Lu Ying took them, but Wang Daxia refused to let go, stretching the notes taut.
Lu Ying warned, "If you don’t release them, and they tear in half, you’ll cover the loss."
Wang Daxia immediately let go.
As they spoke, the carriage arrived near White Deer Temple on Fuchengmen Street. Although the official curfew hadn’t yet begun, the streets were already empty, and the shops had closed early.The carriage halted in a narrow alley. Dressed in White Deer Temple's Taoist robes, the two walked along the temple's outer wall, where two ropes for scaling the wall had already been lowered—prepared in advance by undercover agents who had infiltrated the temple to assist them.
They put on gloves, gripped the ropes, and began climbing the wall. As they reached the top, Wang Daxia felt something cold and wet strike his eye veil, instantly dampening it.
Then, droplets of rain and fine, salt-like snow began to fall—a mix of rain and snow. The ice would freeze the loose dust, finally putting an end to the nearly month-long sandstorm and haze.
While Lu Ying and Wang Daxia were secretly exploring White Deer Temple at night, Wei Caiwei arrived at the Yu De Palace in the Forbidden City. She stepped out of the carriage wearing a dust-proof veil hat that draped all the way to her ankles.
A similarly veiled granny steadied her. "Be careful, Doctor Wei. It's snowing, and the path is a bit slippery."
Finally, it's snowing. Tomorrow, we won't have to bundle up so tightly, and the air won't always carry that choking, earthy smell.
Entering Yu De Palace, Wei Caiwei found it brightly lit, with wind-proof lanterns hanging everywhere. Even at the entrance of the main hall stood two racks holding at least fifty lanterns each. Despite wearing an eye veil and the long veil hat, Wei Caiwei found the light glaring.
Moreover, a tall altar had been erected at the main hall's entrance. On it, over a dozen Taoist priests, braving hail and fine snow, circled while chanting scriptures. A Taoist in a yellow robe performed rituals, brandishing a wooden sword with vigorous force.
This yellow-robed Taoist was none other than Lan Daohang, the Jiajing Emperor's currently most favored Taoist priest.
The wind howled fiercer, and the rain and snow intensified, yet Lan Daohang stood firm as a mountain. He dipped the tip of his wooden sword into a yellow talisman covered in cryptic symbols, lit it in a brazier, then formed a seal with his left hand while wielding the flaming sword with his right. Stepping in the pattern of the Big Dipper, he chanted the Great North Star Mantra:
"Seven Primes of the Northern Dipper, divine energy rules heaven. The Great Sage of the Heavenly Pivot, majestic light spans thousands. Above heaven and below earth, sever all evil roots. Riding clouds to ascend, descend before this altar. Bestow true energy, pierce water, enter mist. Transmit through three realms, all demons kneel in fear. Slay fiends, obliterate traces, return from death, ascend to immortality. (Note 1)"
After the chant, Lan Daohang pointed the flaming sword northward and shouted, "By the Mysterious Ancestor of Heaven and Earth! I command the demons destroyed, urgent as the law decrees!"
As his words faded, three sharp cracks echoed from the north, accompanied by sparks. The fire on Lan Daohang's sword tip extinguished simultaneously.
Clutching his chest with his left hand and leaning on the wooden sword with his right, Lan Daohang spat out a mouthful of blood. "The Dark Spectre is vanquished."
The palace servants nearby prostrated themselves in worship. "The Blue Immortal has manifested his power! The evil Dark Spectre is destroyed!"
Lan Daohang declared, "There is more than one Dark Spectre. Though this one is gone, others may come. The Dark Spectre fears light most and does not emerge by day. Tonight, you must guard these lanterns. As long as the lights burn through the night, the Dark Spectre will not breach the palace to harm Lady Shang."
The servants hastily agreed, taking turns on watch to replenish the lamp oil.
Granny Song also bowed from a distance toward Lan Daohang. Blurring the lines between Buddhism and Taoism, she pressed her palms together and said, "Amitabha. Since the Emperor sent the Blue Immortal to Yu De Palace to raise the altar and exorcise the evil, it seems our lady's illness will soon be cured."
Wei Caiwei remained silent. In truth, Lan Daohang had merely performed a trick—he had tossed three snap firecrackers to the north, hence the cracks. But from his high altar, the palace servants couldn't see his sleight of hand.But Wei Caiwei saw through Lan Daohang's tricks as clearly as a mirror. In her previous life, after Lan Daohang fell from favor and was imprisoned in the Eastern Depot, it happened to be Eunuch Wang Daxia who interrogated him. Under severe torture, Lan Daohang confessed all his fraudulent schemes one by one, and Wang Daxia had told Wei Caiwei about this.
Watching him now at the peak of his glory, worshipped by thousands, gazing down upon mortals from the altar like an immortal—who could have predicted that in just a few years he would be squatting in a prison cell, forced to drink poisoned wine bestowed by the very Jiajing Emperor who had elevated him?
In the Forbidden City, the epicenter of the Ming Dynasty's arena of fame and fortune, gaining imperial favor was easy. If the emperor willed it, even a cat could be enfeoffed as a count. But achieving a safe retreat and a peaceful end was truly difficult!
In her past life, Wei Caiwei had exhausted all her cunning and connections to help the naive Shang Qinglan withdraw safely after her period of favor, allowing her to live peacefully in the rear palace for the rest of her days—outliving both Wei Caiwei and Wang Daxia. At least when Wei Caiwei died, Shang Qinglan was still alive and well, cared for attentively in the palace by Li Jiubao, who had by then become Empress Dowager.
Wei Caiwei entered the room, removed her veil and eye veil, washed her hands and face, changed into a clean outer robe, and even replaced her shoes before stepping into Shang Qinglan's bedchamber.
The Jiajing Emperor was actually there! Sitting by the sickbed holding Shang Qinglan's hand, his expression weary.
Shang Qinglan was still feverish and unconscious.
Wei Caiwei hurriedly paid respects to the Jiajing Emperor, who raised his hand and said, "No need for formalities. Come quickly and examine Noble Lady Shang. She's been delirious with fever, even mentioning your name."
Shang Qinglan's body was burning hot, especially her forehead. Her skin was vividly red like cinnabar, slightly swollen, resembling the longevity god in paintings.
Wei Caiwei took her pulse, finding it rapid and forceful, and said, "This is caused by extreme fright. The shock has become trapped in her heart, transforming into Dan poison. When Dan poison erupts on the forehead, it's called Head-embracing dan."
The Jiajing Emperor urgently said, "Since you've identified the ailment, quickly treat the Noble Lady."
Wei Caiwei prescribed two doses of medicine for Dan poison, "Brew two bowls and bring them here." Then she took out a set of fine needles as thin as ox hair and said, "Your Majesty, Head-embracing dan requires pricking the forehead to release blood and reduce swelling. This is the fastest way to recovery. However, after the pricking, the skin needs time to heal. She won't be able to attend court for at least half a month."
The Jiajing Emperor looked at Shang Qinglan's swollen forehead resembling the longevity god and said, "Just proceed with the treatment freely. Even if she's scarred, it doesn't matter. What I love about her isn't her appearance."
Wei Caiwei first heated the fine needles until red-hot, waited for them to cool completely, then used them to prick and release the poisoned blood from the Dan poison. After bloodletting, she administered the medicine. By midnight, Shang Qinglan's fever had finally broken, and the Jiajing Emperor went to rest in the adjacent room.
The next morning, Shang Qinglan screamed in her sleep and sat up abruptly, "It's the Dark Spectre! Don't come closer! Don't eat me! My flesh isn't tasty at all!"
Hearing this, the Jiajing Emperor rushed over in his sleepwear, barefoot, to comfort his favored consort. "Don't be afraid, I'm here. Last night Lan Daohang already set up an altar and performed rituals, capturing that Dark Spectre monster. It won't come out to harm people anymore."
The terrified Shang Qinglan threw herself into the Jiajing Emperor's arms, frantically feeling around, "Where's the talisman? Lan Daohang's Amulet? I must carry it with me from now on. I was wrong to mock the Blue Immortal for pretending to commune with spirits. The Blue Immortal is a true immortal who expelled the evil for me. I must reward him properly."Wei Caiwei, who was on night watch nearby, had been frequently checking on Shang Qinglan's condition throughout the night and hadn't slept well. Her eyes were bloodshot from exhaustion as she thought to herself: What Dark Spectre? There are no actual monsters—it's all **.
The entire affair was merely a self-orchestrated performance by Lan Daohang, designed to make the emperor's new favorite concubine feel indebted to him—using his talismans, drinking his charm-infused water, and ultimately becoming his political patron.
Shang Qinglan was far too influential a figure; it wasn't just me who wanted to cling to this powerful connection. Countless people were scrambling to latch onto this substantial advantage, Lan Daohang among them.
However, with me here, I won't let you succeed.
I didn't allow you to prevail in my past life—I served you a cup of poisoned wine. In this life, it's even more impossible.
Author's Note:
Caiwei: Protecting our naive and sweet Qinglan—I'll use science to triumph over superstition.
Wang Daxia's fake breasts are made from Shandong Jiaodong steamed buns—genuinely larger than a human skull and incredibly filling. I've eaten them several times. Additionally, Wang Daxia's dizzyingly jiggly chest is real. Check my Weibo account (my pen name Mu Lanzhou, the one with the yellow verification badge) and look through the recent posts. There's a swimsuit model fashion show—the first model to appear is the prototype for Wang Daxia's chest movements. It'll genuinely make you dizzy—I'm not exaggerating. Go see for yourself if you don't believe me.
Note 1: Both incantations originate from Taoism's "Scriptures for Morning and Evening Practices."
Note 2: Descriptions of Dan poison and Head-embracing dan symptoms and treatments are sourced from Tan Yunxian's "Miscellaneous Records of a Female Doctor."
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